Chapter 01:
"Tell me one time when one of my ideas went wrong." Khushi challenged.
Shyam shot Arnav a warning look that roughly translated to - 'Dude. Careful. Treading on super thin ice. Am not backing you if you walk into a pile of shit. Or Khushi induced pain and suffering. Especially the latter.'
Arnav raised an eyebrow saying - 'I am awesome and am not a wuss and I have Jarvis for subconsciousness. I am two point five mile and thirteen point two pounds away from becoming a superhero.'
Shyam offers a subtle shrug as if to say - 'Don't come crying to me when yet another hare-brained idea comes back to bite you in the ass.' Arnav non so subtly coughs as a response.
"Do you want the answer to be arranged alphabetically or chronologically or rating that's loosely based on the extent of disaster you managed to cause?" Arnav kept his voice cool though Jarvis was berating him in his trade mark rude voice.
[An absolutely unnecessary segue ahead because the author doesn't have the talent to provide information about characters as a part of character development but is dumping it in one shot. Also she is lazy but she blames the preservatives in Knorr soup which she believes is now a food group, for that.
Anywho. Arnav calls his subconscious Jarvis or rather his subconscious decided on the name and informed Arnav about it. Jarvis wanted his [its?] name to be Captain Hindsight because Arnav clearly lacks in that department. Captain Hindsight's side kicks are: Woulda, Shoulda, Coulda. Yes. Jarvis borrowed all the characters names from South Park. Thank you very much for not running and being trigger happy to report plagiarism. However Arnav threw in a hissy fit and temper tantrum resembling a three year old denied of his favorite toy and his subconscious had to undergo second hand embarrassment thus settling on the name - Jarvis. As of now the sidekicks name are undecided. Jarvis is planning to give Arnav a stroke or make him faint next time he acts like a child. Who said voices in the head cannot be a superhero on their own? Let's get back to the story or whatever the hell that's going to follow this.]
"Let this statement be in your TIFU diary Arnav." Khushi replied, calmly.
"What's TIFU diary?" Anjali asked. Arnav scowled.
"Today I f**ked Up - diary. Some days this little book has more than one entry on the same day!" Khushi exclaims in a high falsetto voice.
Anjali looks thoughtful for a second before turning to Shyam and says, "You should start keeping a TIFU diary and show me all the entries before we go to bed." Shyam sighs and has a violent eyebrow conversation with his brother-in-law. Arnav wears a cocky little grin and welcomes Shyam to his strange life.
"Look Khushi, I am not saying that this is a bad idea but just want you to think again before opening a...private detective agency." Arnav sighs and stabs the egg on his plate viciously.
"I have given it a lot of thought Arnav." Khushi shushes him patronizingly.
"You had that idea when you were buttering your toast." Arnav tried to reason. When his statement draws blank look from both Anjali and Khushi he slams his fist. "You buttered a triangle of the toast. That's like one point five seconds."
"I think it's a brilliant idea." Anjali replies instead. "May I join?" She asks Khushi who has already started to nod.
"We shall invite Naani too. The three of us are going to be kickass detectives." Anjali is already planning.
"We don't have to worry about money because we have tons and all legal hassles will be taken care by Shyam." Anjali is on a roll.
Shyam bristles when his name is dropped in conversation. "Wait. What?" Obviously no one answers.
"Arnav will feel left off if we don't involve him, you know?" Khushi says, scratching her eyebrow and pretending to be thoughtful.
"Arnav is right here. Like one feet away from you." Arnav scowls. Again. Ignored.
"I know right?" Anjali exhales. "He can be such a baby when no one is paying attention. My little baby brother." She adds fondly.
"He is feeling exactly that right now since he is being ignored as if he doesn't exist." Arnav says, exasperated.
"I know! I can take him on stake out or when we have to break in and enter suspect's house." Khushi says, delighted by her own idea. To Arnav's horror, Anjali agrees.
"I am not doing anything illegal for you guys." Arnav cries. "Please go ahead and ignore my existence like you were doing thirty seconds ago."
"I wont let you get caught Arnav," Khushi replies sagely. "And if you do end up getting caught, I will come and rescue you like the damsel that you are."
"If you are that bored, why don't you two come to office and work for me? I am sure I can find something for you." Arnav begs his sister and Khushi. He looks at Shyam for some moral support but the is ass is snorting and smirking at him.
Khushi sighs deeply. Arnav does not look all panicky. Shyam however enjoys early morning free entertainment. Khushi fishes around her purse and finds a card.
"This is my business card," she says handing it out to the three.
Arnav chokes on air. Shyam snorts and orange juice makes it to his windpipe making him cough and laugh at the same time. Anjali looks at Khushi with sheer reverence.
The card is quite simple. It says:
Khushi Kumari Gupta
Genius
"Do you now understand why I have to be a private detective?" Khushi says. Arnav is about to launch an explanation why she shouldn't but Shyam kicks his shin under the table and hisses, 'That was rhetoric, you idiot. Shut the f**k up and let it go.'
Arnav slouches in his chair and sulks like a child.
Shyam looks as if Diwali came early.
Anjali has taken out a notepad and is making notes.
Khushi looks ready to take over the world.
Or make everyone around her insane.
Whatever it maybe, he surely and thoroughly and absolutely f**ked.
Edited by RockBarbie - 11 years ago
Book Talk
