Posted:
Baaraatis - Thread Twelve
A CC for readers of 'Shaadi'
(GiF credit to Chokri_ASR. She always has the perfect one, hamesha!)
Department of Molecular Biology, (and IPKKND)
Stanford University
AIM: Was originally something else, but has now changed to "An in-depth study of a typical Baaraati CC"
Chief Observations:
* A Baaraati CC is one of the fastest in existence. It's speed rivals the pace with which swear words spill from Sheetal's beak.
*A Baaraati CC isn't confined by minor things like coherence, innocence and/or sanity. Any and all manner of topics are discussed here at all times, across multiple time zones.
* The Baaraatis are a varied group of diverse, talented, witty, ajeeb, uncontrollable people. They can write pages on anything from the best time to eat Alphonsos, to the important choice between boxers and briefs.
*There are sub-groups within the Baaraatis.
There are the writers , who post stories and poems. (Always rooted in the gutter)
There are the GiF-ers, who always find the appropriate picture at the appropriate time, day or night.
There are the silent readers, who aren't silent anymore.
There are the level chasers, whose biggest aim is to reach the next forum level and change color.
The serious commenters, who actually talk about the story if an update is up.
It is to be noted that most Baaraatis are a combination of the above, depending on their mood at the time and whether they are hungry/thirsty/angry etc.
*A typical Baaraati CC typically progresses in this typical fashion:
Pages 1-15: Congratulations pour in for the writer on a new thread, even though the writer has done very little to accomplish that and all credit should go to the Baaraatis alone.
Pages 15-45: Food, travel, terrible bosses/AD/studies.
And ArHi. Or Barun.
Around this point, someone realizes that page 69 isn't very far. Now Page 69 has a very important symbolic significance, one that can be dealt with in an addendum.
But for now, all that needs to be known is that Page 69 sets off a frenzy, and therefore...
Pages 45-68: Countdown to Page 69
Page 69: Everyone reses. And posts gutter, hamesha.
Page 70-75: Congratulations on making it to Pg 69, of course.
Page 75-90: More food/AD/nostalgia about show. And one liner gutter collabs, also known as GCs.
Page 100: More celebration, although this number has no great significance except when it is on a cricket scoreboard or a dollar bill.
Page 100- 130: Questions for the writer. About the update, and future stories.
And more gutter, GiFs, and random hilarity.
At this point, one or several baaraatis realize that the next thread is within reach.
All silent/hidden/active/partially active baaraatis surface to fulfill this important mission, which often occurs by posting more of the above.
Or none of the above, you can never tell.
Page 149: Writer surfaces from her monstrous AD, and starts typing furiously for the new thread intro before realizing that she has no GiF to go with it. A few frantic messages later, Jigs sends her one and all is well.
Page 150: Link to new thread is posted and everyone abandons the old one like the Guptas abandoned Khushi after the forced marriage.
New thread page 1: Cycle repeats.
Throughout all this, the writer is either laughing her head off, shaking it in disbelief, or frowning at her screen when something makes her think.
But mostly, she's sitting there with an idiotic grin on her face, wondering what she's done to be blessed with this wonderful group.
And sometimes, she even posts an update if her asli duniya is merciful.
The end.
Khushi Kumari Gupta signing off.
Please feel free to add your own points/ theories/additions/theorems.
Or swear words, if you are a Sheetal fan.
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Bigg Boss 19
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