He leaned and kissed the crook of my neck . He traced along the shoulder bone and came back to the crook and bit it .
I gasped with pain and started to push him with more force . But it isn't affecting him !! What should I do ??
I didn't know what to do .. I only have one thing running in my mind . That's Push Him !! And that is what I am doing .. But is there any effect on him ? I don't think so .
His hands were moving all along my hands . He now kissed kissed the jaw line but not before licking the bite . He is kissing my cheeks and was moving towards my lips .
I was still pushing him with my eyes still closed . I now can feel his grip becoming loose . He was leaving me slowly . So I opened my eyes slowly too . He didn't have any regret on his face he was happy . He had a small smile on his face . But the distance between us didn't melt . He was still close to me . He placed his hand on my side and leaned a bit towards me .
Arnav : Aaj zindagi ka aakhri raat tho hai hi nahi . Tho yeh sab main doosre din ke liye chod deta hoon . [ This is not the last night of life . So I will leave all this for another day . ]
He said with his smirk . His smirk was making me furious . But I can't show it as he is my so called boss . He turned and started to move
Khushi : Zindagi mein hum Bohat saari sapne bunte hai . Par voh sab todi na sach ho jaata hai [ We weave a lot of dreams in our life . But not all of them come true ]
He fisted his palms . I got scared . Now how will he punish me ? He came close to me and placed his hands on either sides and leaned a bit .
Arnav : Main sirf sapne yuhi nahi dekhta .. Unhe sach karne ke liye main kisi bhi had tak jaa sakta hoon .. Aur jo main chahta hoon , voh main zaroor hasil karoonga . [ I don't dream just like that .. I can go to any extent to make them true .. And whatever I want , I will surely win them ]
I was dumbstruck !!! What could I say anything after I heard what he said ?
Arnav : Move .
He said in a harsh tone .
I moved a bit and he opened the door for me . I got in and he slammed the door . That sound was enough to tell how frustrated he was ! He got into his seat and started to drive .
There is silence between us . I was looking at him but he was seriously driving . I also turned towards the window and concentrated on the moving objects .
All of a sudden I felt some air oozing out of the tire . Arnav safely drove the car towards the left .
Arnav : Dammit !!
He said banging the steering wheel . He got down so did I .
Khushi : Umm .. Ah .. Ab hum kya kare ?? [What should we do now ?? ]
Arnav : Walk .
I was just looking at him . Was this his plan to spend some more time with me ?
Arnav : See I didn't plan all this . Check the tire if you want !!
Khushi : But I didn't say anything .
We started to walk .
Arnav : I can read your mind Khushi
Khushi : Yeah superstitious power ..
I murmured to myself .
Arnav : Yes you are right Khush .. I still have those superstitious powers with me .
What did he say just now ?? Khush ? It's my nickname . I never expected him to call me by my nickname !!
Arnav : Khushi you wore your first saree on teachers day right ? That
net wali
I nodded my head . He remembers my first saree too ?? Well I remember him staring me .
FLASHBACK .. ON THEIR TEACHER'S DAY IN THEIR 10th STANDARD
It was a bit hard for me to handle this heavy net saree . But still I could manage myself . While I was going to meet all my friends who decided to meet near Arnav's class . I was a bit scared but I had to .
Khushi : Hi !!
I could see my friends eyes glued on me !
Usha : Oh teri !! You are looking so beautiful !!
Ramya : You are looking some Indian bride in this saree !!
Just then I saw Arnav coming out of his class . He stopped seeing me . But I ignored him . I don't want anyone to suspect my feelings towards him . He was coming towards me literally staring at me . Then I realised Aman is just in front of me . They hugged and greeted each other but he didn't miss staring me . Oh and his friend !! Even last year he used to see me with some kind of feeling when I was in my casual attire . And how could he miss today when I am in a saree . He was seeing me without any shame .
I just hate him . It is really irritating !!
Anusha : Do you want to attract boys huh ? That's why you presented your best !
All his gang suddenly looked at me . They were checking me out top to bottom . This was really embarrassing ! Arnav and his friend were staring me more !! Arnav crossed all his limits !! I bet her very lightly .
Anusha : So sorry yaar ..
Then Swathi came and they started to talk with her . Arnav was also talking to her very happily . When he is really happy with that Swathi why should he see me like that ? Idiot .. I hate him .
Harshitha : Oho Khush !!! Looking too hot and sexy in this saree !! Where did you buy it ?
Again that gang looked at me and now one more was included , that Swathi !! She had mixed expressions on her face . Jealousy and anger was clear . But I feel her saree is way better than mine !
Khushi : You don't remember this one ? You yourself designed it !
Harshitha : Oh me !!
I nodded my head .
Shruthi : Dont you girls think our Khushi is becoming fair day by day ? And lean too ? She is surely losing all her fat and see one day she will be thin and fair like Kareena Kapoor !!
Ramya : Yeah you are right !!
Arnav and his gang was still gazing at me ! Why these girls are speaking like this in front of boys ? That too so loud .
Khushi : Girls we must go from here !
I moved away from there and my friends followed me.
The rest of the day we both I mean Arnav and me faced each other many a times . We saw each other and we moved . That's it .. And sometimes he stared me . He also came wherever I went .
This is the happiest day of my life !!! Arnav saw me in a saree !! Not once but many a times !! Did he like me in this saree ? Did he like this colour ?
I am happy that at least there is one day in my life where Arnav stared me and followed me !!
*****
I remembered all this .. So he followed me intentionally . But I remember he didn't stare me the way he did on my farewell !
Hey Devi Mayya ! What is all this ?
Arnav : Where are you lost ? Achcha tell me why didn't you speak to me in our inter ?? I mean I always used to try to talk to you but you instead used to talk with that Sid . With him you had so much to talk but with me you had nothing !!
Was he complaining ? Yeah I ignored him in my inter as I didn't want him to play with my feelings again . Why would I let him start it again and give it the same ending ? If he was in a relation with Swathi why should I at least be his friend ? So I decided not to talk to him .,if I had to it should be professional . Jiji also supported me in this decision .
FIRST DAY OF THEIR INTERMEDIATE
I stepped into my new class . In fact my new college ! I'm very excited . New teachers , new lessons and new friends . Well I didn't like the idea of new friends because I miss my old friends a lot .
I saw a few girls in the front bench . They were seeing me , so I smiled a bit . Even they smiled back . I was about to go towards them when I heard a familiar voice .
Arnav : Hi !!
Arnav .. Yes it is Arnav . I turned back to check if it Arnav or not .
Yes there he is right behind me . He had very friendly smile on his face . Why is he showing off ?
May be he didn't find a girl till now so he is back of me ! May be Swathi isn't here .
Wait first of all why is he here ? He very well knows that I am in this college . Still he joined this one ? And his house , as far as I know is not around this surroundings . So why did he join over here ?
I smiled back and moved from there . I went to those girls . We introduced each other . They seemed to be nice . And one amongst them stays right behind my house , Dia . So we know each other very well . In fact we used to be good friends . We both sat together and started to chat . We are actually getting close . My heart is insisting me to look at Arnav but I can't over rule my decision . So I didn't but finally my heart won over my so called decision .
I did turn to the other side to see him . We are in a same class after one full year ! Isn't that great ?
I saw him looking at me . He wasn't talking to the other boys that much but he was looking at me and again smiled . I turned towards Dia and started to talk with her again . At times I did look at him . He was talking to those boys
~~~~~~
Break
Few boys were introducing to themselves . So did Arnav , he was standing right beside me while I am siting in my place .
Arnav : We know each other quite a bit . After all we sat together for months .
I just smiled .
Navya : Oh how cool it is to have friends of old school in your new college !!
Khushi : We are not friends . We were just classmates .
Sidhansh : Oh .
Sidhansh was trying to talk a lot with me but not in a wrong way . In a friendly manner . So even I chatted with him . He is actually a very good guy .
I sometimes did look at Arnav . I couldn't read his expressions .
Anyway my first day at college was awesome .
After a few days Sidhansh , Dia and me actually became close . But Sidhansh and Arnav were like best friends .
After a few months
It was Sidhansh's birthday so he invited me . But I have to reject it . How could I go ? He was just my classmate Who is close . Not even my best friend .
Sidhansh : Tell me yaar . Are you coming ?
Arnav was standing behind Sidhansh . Not so close , few feet away . He was seeing us only .
Khushi : Umm I can't Sidhansh . I can't come . I am really sorry .
Dia : My mother told she will send me only if Khushi goes so even I can't .
Arnav came towards us .
Arnav : Arrey come on girls. We will have lot of fun !
Khushi : I can't come Sidhansh . I am sorry .
I said this with my eyes fixed on Sidhansh .
~~~~~~~~
The same day , After Colllege
I came down as our college is over . I saw some elderly man talking to Sidhansh .
Sidhansh signalled me to come there so I went .
Sidhansh : Khushi he is my dad .
Khushi : Namastey uncle .
I said by folding my hands .
Uncle : Namastey beta . Tho tum ho Khushi .. Yeh hamesha Tumhaari baare mein hi baat karta hai . [Hello child . So you are Khushi .. He always talks about you ]
I just smiled . Uncle asked me about my family , my plans for career and my likes and dislikes . I didn't know why he was asking all this . Suddenly Arnav interrupted us . I could see he was a bit angry . I madly wanted to know the reason but I can't . I promised myself not to love him again . But this is really hard . Seeing him every day in front of my eyes .. The same way he was when I liked him ; friendly , giving and caring .
I excused myself . How can I say Arnav that I love him very much ?? Can't he see the love I have for him in my eyes ?? Is it so easy for him to talk and leave and again start talking to me ? Or has he ever bothered my presence in his life ? Or was I the one weaving dreams out of nothing ? Am I mad to think about him in every second of my life ? Can't I live without him ?
All these questions are left unanswered in my heart . I turned my heaf just to find him talikng to both the father and son . I again turned waiting for my car .
After a few days Sidhansh proposed me . I was quite surprised with it . I of course rejected him and this became a hot topic in my college .
" Khushi rejected Sidhansh who is the hottest and the tallest guy of the college "
Dia : Khush you know what ? I got to know that many boys of our class want to propose you ! Now you should accept the fact that you are the beautiful girl of our college ! And Sidhansh is deeply in love with you !
Whatever . Why can't Arnav see that beauty in me which others can see ? He doesn't even bother about me .
I maintained some distance with Sidhansh but he didn't , he tried his level best to be close with me . Dia finally warned him not to come close to me .
I must thank Devi Mayya for not letting my personal life and professional life merge . I am doing very well in my career now . And I have full hope that I will get a scholarship in an university .
All this was over when I finally got scholarship in BITSAT University , Hyderabad . I left everything and started concentrating in my studies.
******
I still don't understand what happened to Arnav . Why did he transform into ASR when he was completely different ?
His voice interrupted my thoughts .
Arnav : Answer my question Khushi . Why didn't you talk to me when we are in a same gang ?
Wat shall I say ? Shall I say that I felt betrayed , ignored and insulted ?
Khushi : First of all .. We were never in a same gang . Sid was just a classmate . He was not even my friend . My friends were Dia , Priya and Pooja that's it no one else .
Arnav : Oh ..
He said in a mocking way .
Arnav : Well , didn't you get a placement when you are qualified from BITSAT ?
Khushi : I got one but I didn't like the place .
Arnav : Why ?
Khushi : Umm .. CEO's son was back of me . He used to follow me everywhere saying he loves me and wants to marry me . One day his family convinced mine . So we got engaged . Then things between us didn't go right so we broke our engagement .
He didn't say anything . Well why did I tell him all this ? I can clearly see , he is hurt .
Arnav : Why did you both break up when your families were ok with that marriage .
Khushi : He wanted to do things which were against my morals . Which I didn't like . So I distanced him . He got furious and broke up with me .
I couldn't say more than that . How can I marry someone else when I already loved him . I felt I was ditching my fianc . I also told him that I liked someone , he had no problem with it . But he actually had . He started becoming more possessive . He was also a bit obsessed with me . He never used to let me go out without him . He was like my shadow every where . He never used to let any boy come near me ,whatever relation I share with him . There was a point of time when I was really uncomfortable with his over possessiveness . I was forced to give all the updates of my day by texting him . He also tried many a times touching me or hugging me but I didn't allow him . I used to escape saying that it isn't the right time . He told me once that it is really frustrating when I deny his touch as he finds me irresistible .
He is tall , fair and handsome . And he was muscular too . I like muscular men . He was exactly the way I want but still I used to feel some emptiness . One day he took me out for our first date . There he tried getting intimate with me . I said I wasn't ready for that and this wasn't the right time . He accused me of still being in love with me Arnav . I told him that I buried all the feelings I had for him and I ensured him that I will try my level best to satisfy him after marriage . He dropped me back home . Everything was fine after that . I mentally prepared myself for the marriage . There were only few days left for our marriage when he again asked me for getting intimate before marriage . I denied him . And started to maintain distance which he didn't like . He felt ignored and tortured me with his words . Finally he broke up with me .
Tears were welling in my tears after remembering that phase of my life . But I have to control them .
There is silence between me and Arnav now . He broke the silence .
Arnav : I don't think he is wrong . He wanted to claim his rights on you . And you can't deny him . It is his right .
How can it be his right ? That too before marriage ?? All men are the same . They can never think of girls morals . And I loved this kind of a person who doesn't even care of a girl's feelings and morals . I stopped there and so did he .
Khushi : It's really surprising . Aapko ek badi behen hai phir bhi aap aise keh rahe hai ? Can't you even understand a girl's morals ?
Already tears brimmed in my eyes . How can he say something like that . And I loved him so much ? I started to walk again leaving him behind .
Anupamaa
10