Salima Begum, unknowingly plays a very important role in making sure that Jalal-Jodha's relationship stays intact. During the fake pregnancy she helped Jalal realize that maybe Jodha was not lying, she encouraged Jalal in his decision to go behind Jodha when she ran away. In truth she is one of their biggest well wishers. So heres a small dedication to Salima Begum. This piece is a dairy entry of Salima Begum's. Read and enjoy.
5th May, 1563
They say writing down your feelings is the best way of revealing yourself of its burden, letting out all your frustration at one go. Everyday I hear the baandhi's whispering about how easy the lives of Begums are, carefree and happy, hardly aware of the fact that our lives are not a bed of roses either. After the loss of my husband Bairam Khan, I was left a single mother. Rahim pulled me through those difficult times even though he wasn't my own son. Shehenshah Jalal married me, even though I was a widow, he brought back the color in my life. But I could never give him all of my love as the death of Bairam Khan still poked me. Nor did I expect Shehenshah to love me, because after all he supposedly did not have a heart. I was a Begum of the Mughal Dynasty, but I had lost the true love of my life. Bairam Khan though much older than me, made me feel happy contempt with life. He taught me all that he felt would help me in life. The most impotant thing that he taught me was to look at a situation from every aspect and to come up with the best possible solution. Sometimes I feel this talent of mine sets me apart from the other ladies of the harem. I am respected by all the ladies of the harem, but there's still a void in my life that I can't fill.
I am jalal's begum,I should be proud of my position. I should be like all other begums trying to woo Jalal, spend nights with him. But no, sometimes I feel like my only Job is to protect shehenshah from any kind of emmotional breakdown. I have always felt that after Bairam Khans death Jalal was put in an equally bad position. He had always relied on his Khan baba for good advice just as I did. So I decided to be that emotional protection for him just as Shehenshah had protected me from the taunts of being a single mother.Today I saw Shenhenshah and Jodha together in Anguri Baagh, laughing together, absorbing each others happiness. It was the first time I saw my husband happy, It was the first time I saw him open up to someone. Was I to be jealous? Try to break them up? Just like all the other begums. NO, I could not even think of such a thing. I was happy that Shehenshah had finally got someone to be with, just like the company I had got in Bairam Khan. Today I am contempt with the love and respect I get from everyone around me. I feel thrilled when Shehenshah and Ammijaan come to me for sound advice.
Everyday when I wake up there's just one fear that gnaws at me. That I will never be a good enough mother for Rahim. The biggest gift that Bairam Khan left me was this boy, this bundle of joy rather. He looks up at me for inspiration, he looks to me to give him the education he deserves and I never want to fall short. He questions me about his father almost everyday "Baba kaise the? Kya vo humare jaise dikhte hain?'' and I answer his questions monotonously. We may not be related by blood, but Rahim always realizes when he has touched a soft spot. He puts his hand on my head and soothes me. He makes me feel special always. Bairam left me with the responsibility of giving Rahim the perfect childhood and I hope I can fulfill my duties and see him grow to become a man as great as his father. The relationship that Bairam and I shared was unique. We were different in many ways, but at heart the same. I see the same uniqueness in Jodha Begum and Shehenshah. They compliment each other, they seem like two sides of the same coin, inseparable. They share the same emotions, I think they even share the same heart. What started off as a relationship for saving a kingdom has turned into this beautiful pool of love. I just hope to see their relationship strengthen with time. Even though I am shehenshahs wife, I want Jalal-Jodha to be one, because I see in them the love that Bairam Saab and I shared, Limitless and pure...
Salima Begum
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