Ajit Jokes (Mona/Sona)

Hope you have heard of Ajit Jokes....its that Standard Mona/Sona
thing....some of the following are too good.
Ajit : Raabert, isko Great Wall of China le jaakar phansi mein laga do,
great 'wall hanging' ban jayegi
Ajit :Robert is ko microprocessor may daal do ! Bit by bit mar jaayga
gaa saala!
Ajit :Robert is ko liquid oxygen may daal do ! Liquid issay jeenay nahi
day gaa, oxygen issay marnay nahi day gaa!
Ajit :Robert, Dayna (Diana) ko thoda khatta khila do, yeh dayna se
daynasour bhi ho jayegi, phir extinct bhi...
Ajit :"Robert, "Harshad Mehta the Bull" ka stool test karaao" "Kyon
boss?"
"Pata to chale akhir ye Bullshit kya hota hai"
Ajit : Maikal, ise liquid helium mein daal ke 440 V pass kar do.
Phir yeh superconductor ban jaayega, aur zindagi bhar ticket kaatta reh
jaayega.
Maikal: Baaas, yeh aadmi to kuch bol hi nahin raha hai. Kya karen ?
Ajit : Ise revaalving chair mein daal do. Pata chal jaayega chakkar kya
hai.
Robert: Boss , Sona kahan hai ? ( Where is the Gold ? )
Ajit : Kahin par bhi so jao Robert !!
(Scene Robert gets a sidey to Ajit .)
Robert: Boss, humne sidey ko pakad liya
Ajit :Ise maar ke pulees station ke side main rakh do. Aur iske badan
par ek sui chubha do.
Robert: Par sui kyon, baass!
Ajit :Bewakoof! Pulees yeh samjhegi ki suicide hua hai!
Robert: Boss, mere teen bacche hue. Unko kya naam doon?
Ajit :Ek ka naam rakhna Peter, doosre ka Maikal, aur teesre ka Cha Ling
Chu.
Robert: Par Cha Ling Chu kyoon?
Ajit :Bewakoof, duniya ka har teesra bacchaa Chinese hota hai!
Ajit :Robert, in kutton ke saamne yeh Compooter laga do aur debugger
istarrt kar do.
Robert: Lekin kyoon, baas?
Ajit :Saale Checkpoint mein atak jayenge.
Ajit :Robert, Test Match mein kyaa ho raha hai ?
Robert: Boss, Vivian Richards chhakke pe chhakke maar raha hai.
Ajit : Saaleh ko sabak sikhana padega. Lunch break mein usse phone
milana.
Robert: Yes Boss.
Ajit : (on phone, to Richards): Veeveeyun Reechards, tumhari Maa hamare
kabze mein hai .......
(Scene Ajit ordering his chela to kill the enemy.)
Ajit : "Robert, Ise varnish mein daal do, saala mar bhi jaayega aur
finish bhi ho jaayega.

Bob: Boss, mission par kaise jaaoon, mujhe headek ho raha hai.
Ajit : Abe head ek ho ya do, kaam to karna hi padega !
(Scene Ajit ordering his chela to kill the enemy.)
Ajit : "Robert, Isss Haramzaade ko social security pe
daal do. Saale ko
Society jeene nahin degi aur security marne
nahin degi.
(Scene Robert and Ajit are in a boat. The boat suddenly springs a hole
and water starts coming inside. Robert is perplexed !)
Robert: Boss ab kya hoga ??
Ajit :Robert Ek aur hole bana do, aur ek hole me IN aur
doosre me OUT
likh do. Ek hole se paani ander aayega aur
doosre se bahar chala jayega !!
(Scene Ajit get's hold of his favourite hero & then directs his chela.)
Ajit : Maikal, Is saale ke ek haath mein laal aur doosre haath mein hara
rang laga do.
Maikal: Lekin kyon baas?
Ajit :Bewakoof, itnaa bhi nahin jaanta? Jab pulice yehaan aayegi to ise
range haathon pakad legi. he he he....
Ajit : Robert, isko CENTRIFUGE mein daal do.
Robert : Kyon Baass ?!?
Ajit : Stoopid, taki hamen paata to chale ki chakkar kya hai.
Robert : Bass muje minister banna hain !
Ajit : Tum ek file mein baith jao, apne aap cabinet mein chale jaoge !
Ajit : Maaikel, hamare mahmaan ke baayen haath mein Citizen garhi hai.
Jaao uske daayen haath mein yeh HMT garhi baandh aao.
Robert : Pur kyon bass ?!?
Ajit : Isse woh do(2) garhi kaa mahmaan ho jayega.
Ajit : Raabert ise Pascal Poison pila kar mar do !
Robert : Pur kyon bass ?!?
Ajit : Ha, Ha ! Taki uska begin se end ho jayega!
Ajit : Raabert, ise hamlet poison pila do !
Robert : Pur kyon bass ?!?
Ajit : Yeh "to_be" se "not_to_be" ho jayega !
Ajit :Robert, isey peekak paisan pila do, yeh "more" se "no-more" ho
jayegaa...
Ajit : Mona, tum Tony ke saath mat jao.
Mona : Pur booss, kyon nahin ?
Ajit : Tum uske saath jaogi, to Monatony ho jaegi.
Ajit : Raabutt, use TNT se uda do !
Robert : Lekin baas, TNT kyon, dynamite kyon nahin ?
Ajit : Bevokoof, isse yeh NTT se nanNTT ban jayega.
Ajit : Acha hua George Bush ne Manuel Noriega ko pakad liya !
Robert : Kyon Bass ?
Ajit : Heinh, heinh, heinh, Noriega bans na bajegi bansuri !!
Ajit : Robert is secretary ke haath kat dalo !
Robert : Kyon bass ?!?
Ajit : Usey typing to ati nahin, short hand kar legi !

Robert : Bass, muzhe twins huen hain, unke naam kya rakhon ?
Ajit : Ladke hue to Peter aur Repeter . Ladkiyan huin to Kate aur
Duplicate

Robert : Raaberrt, ise Champagne me daal kar mar dalo !
Ajit : Lekin kyon bass ?
Robert : Woh shame se nahin mara to pain se zaroor marega!

hehe, smisha! good ones! 😆