Day 1
Dear Zoya,
It's been one day since you left.
It's so hard to be here without you.
I know it's only been nearly 24 hours, but I can already tell this is going to be a tough ride.
Why did you have to go? It's not your fault. I just miss you so much.
I don't know how I'm going to move on without you, but I know it's what you would have wanted. You wouldn't have wanted me to give up.
You wouldn't want me to break down, so I'm not. Just for you.
I can feel myself getting sadder now, so I'm going to go before I smudge the paper with my tears.
I love you, Zoya and I will, forever.
Love, Asad
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Day 2
Dear Zoya,
Now it's been two days since I've heard your voice.
I miss you so much.
How can I do this without you? I know it's what you would want, so I'm going to stay strong for you.
I ate for the first time since you left.
Dinner isn't the same without you sitting across from me.
I knew Ammi and Najma were just trying to make my situation better, but even I know they're broken from inside.
I tried to imagine your beautiful face smiling as we joked around at the table.
It kinda helped, but imagining your face isn't nearly as wonderful as actually seeing you.
I miss you very much, Zoya. Never forget that. I love you.
Love, Asad
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Day 3
Dear Zoya,
It's now been almost 72 hours since I've looked at you.
Since I've felt your warm hands in mine. I miss the smell of your perfume, and the way you dressed.
I miss you so much, but I'm staying strong for you. I can't ever imagine what it must be like for your Aapi and Jeeju.
I haven't talked to them since it happened. Your funeral is tomorrow, and I don't know what's going to happen.
It's going to be very emotional for everyone you were close to. But it will be good for you to finally get some peace and quiet down there.
It's time for bed now, I have to wake up early tomorrow.
I love you so so much, Zoya.
Love, Asad
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Day 4
Dear Zoya,
I went to your funeral today.
I told everyone about how I was going to propose to you at the end of the month.
Yes, Zoya, I was going to propose. That's how much I love you.
But I guess that can't happen anymore. You never lived to get married and have our children.
It's not your fault, though. I know that you'd want me to move on from you, but I won't.
I won't ever do that to you. You're my one and only, love, Zoya. I miss you dearly.
Love, Asad
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Day 5
Dear Zoya,
I didn't get out of bed once today. I didn't pick up any phone calls, reply to any texts, I just laid in bed.
I laid in bed listening to our song on repeat. I miss the times we shared. I miss dancing to our song.
I really do miss you, Zoya. I don't know how I've made it without you this long. I'm surprised, I really am.
I love you so much and I think about you every waking hour. There's nothing I wouldn't do to have you back here with me, laying in bed, cuddling for hours on end.
I love you, but I better get going. Love you, Zoya.
Love, Asad
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Day 6
Dear Zoya,
Today your Aapi and Jeeju called. I picked up because I know it would make you happy.
We talked for a while and they invited me to dinner to tonight. Yes, they had come here, to give you a surprise, but you had given us a surprise instead. Why did you leave us ?
They had gotten a house to stay in for a while.
I went, and we had a great dinner that your Aapi cooked, and we talked a about you for a while.
They let me go up to your room for alone time.
I sat in your bed and felt happy.
I felt like you were there with me. Were you? I always felt warm inside when I was in your room.
I guess the feeling stayed, huh? I love you so much, and I always will.
Love, Asad
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Day 7
Dear Zoya,
It's been a whole week since you've been gone.
I can't believe that something this bad had to happen to you. I can't believe that she would do that.
I can't believe that while I was gone, she came into our house and hurt you. Didn't she understand what "Get Lost!" meant?
I guess Tanveer never really got enough revenge from you.
But I'm the one you loved, why didn't she kill me instead? Things would've been better. It's not your fault this happened, it's mine.
It's my fault for making you fall in love with me.
If I never did, you'd still be alive. I feel horrible every time I remember what happened to you,
which is almost every minute.
I wish I could just start that night over. I wouldn't have left you home. You'd still be here.
I love you. I should go before this gets out of hand.
Love, Asad
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Day 8
Dear Zoya,
I visited your grave today. I skimmed my hand over the engraving on your tombstone. "If tears could build a stairway I would walk right up to Heaven and bring you home." I made that myself. All for you, Zoya.
I never imagined that I could be standing next to you and feel sad, but I do.
I guess it's because you're really not here, and it's the fact that I know you're not coming back.
As each day goes by, things get harder. I feel as if things should get easier, but they don't.
Each and every day gets harder, and I feel worse than I ever have.
I love you so much, Zoya, and I don't know how long I'm going to last without you.
Debate Mansion
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