Lost identity - your take - Page 11

Originally posted by: Dabulls23

You girls are silly 😆 😆 😆

Originally posted by: Gauri_3

No, not really. Unlike many of the FOBs here, I actually did my bachelors from here too...and then masters. So I was not surrounded by all FOBs when I went to school here. Infact, there was not a single FOB in my class when I was doing my BBA.

I was surrounded by all american born and/or brought up kids of all races.....including desi. I did not come across any who were confused. Actually, some of them were very confident and creatively handled their parents' "no dating...no s**" rules. They were smarter than their gora counterparts. Parental support and secured family background provided them with the kind of emotional security that many "american-american" don't have.

Apart from this experience, I am raising two daughters here..one in 7th grade and other in 1st.....so puhleez....trust me when I say that I know these desi kids....at least whom I know....are not confused. They are more secured than other races.

however close you are to the reality, you still are a spectator, you are on the outside looking in. Perhaps the word confusion is what is bothering you, but when I have seen immigrant families, the first generation tends to have this problem, the second generation is perfectly fine

Let me give you an example:

I had a colleague who was a first generation Italian, his growing up experience were very close to a Indian kid born and bought up in America, but somehow were distinctly different from mine, now all of us came from well-to-do families, the uncommon factor was the homogenous environment I grew up in, what was inside of my home was also out there

Originally posted by: sareg

however close you are to the reality, you still are a spectator, you are on the outside looking in.

I do volunteer at my daughters school a lot and I do stay involved in their life. No, I am not a mere "spectator" looking in from the outside. I am very involved in my kids' "outside" life😊

Perhaps the word confusion is what is bothering you, ......it's not bothering me....I just don't agree with it😆 All I am trying to say is that I feel our kids are more confident and secured as compared to the kids from other races....and that is because of who we are and our values and culture.

but when I have seen immigrant families, the first generation tends to have this problem, the second generation is perfectly fine

Let me give you an example:

I had a colleague who was a first generation Italian, his growing up experience were very close to a Indian kid born and bought up in America, but somehow were distinctly different from mine......and that might be because he at laest shares the same religion and relationships concept as you see in America....italian families are more close knitted though.

, now all of us came from well-to-do families, the uncommon factor was the homogenous environment I grew up in, what was inside of my home was also out there

agreed but most of the first generation desis here know the differences between the inside environment and the outside environment and they do a great job of balancing both.....that's what I am trying to say. I do not see any confusion here.

Originally posted by: raksha.l

Its to the left of what you just hit..May be you hit this by mistake..Now hit that left button.. 😃

😆😆😆

Originally posted by: Gauri_3

😆😆😆

Originally posted by: raj5000

😲 .. song for yaa aatey jatey hue mey sab ki khabar rahti hu... just saw this noon and was surprised..

Thanks Persy - understand Rakhsha and me individually bring some rift...so do all of us in DM.. toh no worries....Hope u enjoy ur vacation 😳

Originally posted by: raksha.l

Another post on relationship.. 😆 Scared... lols no I don't intend to educate us in relationships related matters as much as to challenge agony column in magazines and radio.

This post is regarding kids of Indian origin living in overseas. Based on what I heard and saw among Indians kids born and bought up overseas.

Something to take a note:

Kids of Indian origin are making big impact on education front overseas. Termed as the most bright / knowlegable / capable / confident kids comparatively. Focus of debate -

1. Do indian kids overseas loose thier identity?

Well it depends really. I was an Indian kid overseas and I don'tthink I lost my identity. I always visited India and kept in touch with my country and culture. However, I do remember that when I was abroad I did not feel 100% at home and when I returned to India I did not feel at home at all for a long time. So there is a neither here nor there feeling some times. I remember that once I came back to India I really wanted to go back abroad and I didn't feel at home here. But now I realize that I REALLY love both my homes, abroad and in India. And if someone asks me whether I would have liked to be brought up in only once place I would say no. I wouldn't give up one of my two beloved homes or multicultural upbringing.

2. Kids of Indian origin aboard subjected to racism in school?

Well I wasn't.😃 Infact I was welcomed and so was my culture. The people in my school loved India and they respected all cultures.

3. What steps parents should take to neutralize such feelings?

I think they should keep in touch with their home country while not alienating their kids from thier host country. It also best not to relocate unless absolutely necassary when the kids are in their most vulnerable years i.e. in their teens or preteens

4. NRI kids back in India treated indifferently?

There is always a distinction, made both by the NRI kid and the Indian kid. Sometimes the NRI kid feels confused and lost and doesn't want to socialize with the well settled Indian kid. Also, sometimes the NRI kid longs to return to their earlier home and this alienates them.