"But then Draupadi Swayamvar started.." Now Shinde smiled. He found himself on familiar terrain. Lot of people had congratulated him on visuals, pretty Draupadi, exciting set, outdoor contest.
"Oh, so you loved Swaymavar ? It was my masterstroke.""Swayamvar wa simply terrible, except for your masterstroke, only saving grace... Batukeshwar. He brought a fresh breeze of fragrance to the show. "Batuk smells of Gutkha... Shinde observed.
"He lits every scene with his bubbly personality and brilliant comedy. It's simply hilarious how he sits on Bheema's back. Last time,I laughed so much was while watching Anjali and Black movies.
Oh my God.. I have avi with all his scenes together. I watch it day and night.
I am trying to convince my boss to appoint him brand ambassador of our bank. He is a God of comedy. Take a look at his framed picture on the table. Isn't it great ?"It was a doctored picture of laughing,toothless Batuk on branch manager's back. He had superimposed his own face onto Bheema's face. Shinde, alarmed, observed his fan closely for signs of mental derangement.
The fan was staring lovingly at the picture on the desk and giggling crazily.
"It is not safe to be in the room with my fan. I must close my bank account as well. The bank is bound to get into troubled waters with him at the helm." Shinde decided. He prayed for quick delivery of tea so he could leave immediately.
"So what is Batukeshwar doing now a days ? I miss him so much." "Well, he has gone back to his village. He has a son who dislikes him, a daughter who hates him and all villagers avoid him." Batuk had borrowed 100 rs from Shinde and had disappeared.
"No. I mean when he will be back on the show. Entire nation is awaiting him.""He has no more role in SB." Shinde had no idea of Batuk was so popular, a heartbeat of nation.
"What ? No more Batukeshwar ? We need him urgently reinstated on Bheema's back. He shares great chemistry with Bheema." The fan growled.
"We have lot of fun ahead. Bheema's charioteer Visokan is soon to show up. He is funny, jovial character. You will like his chemistry with Bheema too.""Oh so Bheema will carry Visokan on his back ?""He is a young, athletic, able bodied man. Why should Bheema carry him around on on his back ?" Shinde was getting annoyed.
"But without Batukeshwar on Bheema's back, TRPs will nosedive." Batuk was neither Siamese twin of Bheema nor script demanded that he sit on Bheema's back like old sea man on sailor Sinbad or Vetal on back of Vikramaditya but Shinde's fan was hell bent on making sure that wrestler Saurav got adequate exercise from Batuk.
"There will be no Batukeshwar any further. His role is over. We have no budget for him. Only Priyamvada and Maalini will continue." Shinde added firmly.
"Sure. Everyone knows. You have extra budget for your dear lady love, Priyamvada. Multitalented Batukeshwar can not provide you errr. gratifications." "What are you talking about ? I have nothing to do with her." Shinde was very upset with snide remark.
"Then what is she doing in the show ?"Shinde was grappling with same question. Simpleton Priyamvada advising intelligent Kunti on Society norms was akin to Sudama advising Krishna on Kuru war strategies.
His heart and conscience bled each time when Kunti was asked to attentively absorb every syllable from Priyamvada with same devotion as Uddhava to his Lord preaching Gita.
"The whole industry is talking about your relation with her." The fan growled triumphantly as Shinde struggled for reply.
"Whole Industry ? Being a bank manager, is he referring to banking industry ? Why should bankers be interested in non-existent relationship of Priyamvada with me? It hardly has any bearing on any fiscal policies." Shinde was puzzled.
"I assure you I have nothing to do with Priyamvada.""She is yours to keep.I have no problems." Shinde's fan turned out to be surprisingly generous and understanding.
"But, we have no further use of him.""Why not marry him with Priyamvada? He is now rich with Draupadi's jewellery. They can adopt Maalini. Maalni will get a funny father who will carry her on his back and they can live happily with Pandavas. Batukeshwar can continue to sit on Bheema's back even during exile and make us all laugh." Shinde had an urge to glue Batuk on his fan's back permanently with fevicol.
"Why should Priymvada marry Batukeshwar who is her grand father's age and Why should Maalini be punished with these parents ?" Shinde mused.
"I WANT HIM BACK ON THE SHOW. THE SHOW IS WORTHLESS WITHOUT BATUKESHWAR." Bellowed Shinde's fan and gave him menacing Dexter look. Shinde remembered the movie Misery in which the crazy lady fan breaks the writer's legs because the writer does not comply with her wishes.
Shinde carefully surveyed the puny office room. Dexter was precariously close enough to have easily broken Shinde's neck. But the walls of cabin were made of see-through glass and the bank was busy with customers. Shinde felt safe.
Shinde's fan now had stopped talking. He challenged Shinde with steady, murderous stare with unmistaken glint of dire consequences. Shinde shifted uneasily in the chair, avoiding his gaze.
The officeboy barged in to remind the branch manager of his next meeting and Shinde, seizing the opportunity, sprang from his chair and rushed to the exit in quick steps.
"One minute Shindeji." Shinde looked back with palpitation."Can I have your autograph please ? I am after all your number one fan."
