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The Letter, The Shove and The Angst
Ok so I shall catch the bull by its horns and stop beating about the bush!!! TE has now mentioned the Letter, the Shove and THE NIGHT 4 times since Chudail has been up and about. There are various theories flying about all over the forum, over 'The Letter and The Shove' and all do accept 'The Angst' (Unease, malaise, disquiet) on the part of TE.
Well this is my attempt at some armchair amateur psychology to unravel 'The Angst'.
Twice TE mentioned the Letter - khud bula kar dhakka diya - in the same breath as he mentioned Chudail drinking the poison to prove that she is not lying (friday and yesterday).
Twice he has mentioned the Shove as a joke.
It is these two facts that have made my do this psychoanalysis, so kindly bear with an amateur.
TE does not need the Letter re-read to believe his Chudail - My guess is that he has guessed that she never did write anything remotely close to inviting him that night and then pushing him away - his linking this with her willingness to face death to prove her honesty shows this.
TE is no longer bothered about the Shove - the fact that he can make a joke of it and pull her leg shows this.
Yet Yet Yet...there is Angst - which totally comes across in spades from TE!!! So now - why this Angst?
Yes Mandy you are correct - There is a slight hesitation on Chudail's part to giving her hand to TE when climbing into the boat - and No Tripti, Sandhya, Lashy it has nothing to do with being shy - later too when she fell on him when getting into the boat there was no shyness - it was more of an awareness of the attraction, which is now getting very very physical and since it has not been acknowledged there is an awkwardness.
Is this about Chudail being (or not being) in Love with TE? - My answer is he no longer needs her to say a word in terms of a confession - He knows that she is in Love and in Love with him!!! He has seen it and has acknowledged it!!! He is not looking for any more confirmations (when the halwai's wife was talking of Jodha Rani's love for Shahenshah) - He was looking at her acknowledging blushes and thoroughly enjoying himself (Mann mei do do laddu phoote!!!)
So back to the Q - What is the Angst? Well from my psychoanalytical understanding of TE, it is no longer about believing Chudail - He does, It is also not about the Shove - He has realised that it was mostly out of fear.
Then what is his Angst? - My Guess - It is Chudail not having the faith in him of Loving her - that Chudail thinks he may not or is not capable of reciprocating her love and that for him this is a combination of attraction and lust - of Chudail thinking that she will be his wife and a khaas wife but he will never Love her - a matter of Chudail having mouthed SKLL one time too many - A matter of Chudail not having accepted his love and lumping it with lust!!! My guess is that for TE it is not about rejection anymore (she did put her life on the line for him) but about acceptance (this act does not mean she accepts that he is capable of Love).
Chudail has been jataoing her haq as a wife yes, but has she put her faith in him as a 'Woman'? - It is this aspect that Chudail needs to clear to TE, warna jitni baar paigaam padhwa lo, the Angst will remain. (wonder if the Letter is still around since it was torn to bits by TE himself long back - and as Shyamala says MA is not going to be out of the big picture as yet and hence the Letter reading may not actually happen - unless the makers have decided that the time to bump off both AK and MA has come).
The next Q is - what is needed for closure? - My guess is Chudail needs to know that TE does not know to read and Chudail needs to acknowledge that TE, the alpha male, is not tarred by the same brush as Adham and Barfuddin - those she has clumped him with. Once this is done she may get comfortable enuff to give him her hand without any hesitation like she did yesterday - but until Chudail gets to realise that Barfuddin's continued attempt at keeping her brothers hostage which resulted in her marriage with TE (which she calls as his price) was not by TE's orders, that it was Barfuddin wanting to push the Ameris against the wall to get her!!! Till Chudail's this misconception is cleared she may not let go off her beliefs of TE and no amount of letter reading may sort this situation - I now wonder who is more attached to their belief about the other - both seem equally rigid to me!!!
The only other option is Faith - which as of now seems a mirage!!!
Anupamaa
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