FF: Adrift Completed Feb 3rd 2014 - Page 17

"Chalo Madhu" the voice broke Madhu's stupor and she was shocked to find herself at RK mansion.

"Why did you bring me here? I thought you were dropping me at my home. My fault...how did I think that for once you would do the decent thing? But how could you even imagine I will come and live with you here again...how dare you.."Madhu shouted as soon as she stepped out of the car.

"Madhu...listen...I will take you to the chawl if that's what you want. I have no selfish motive to bring you here. Just listen to me once. I do not want to force anything on you or make you do anything you are not comfortable with. I only brought you here because I thought after...after everything...you would be scared and anxious being alone at the chawl at night. Also, you know, everyone at the chawl believes you're...(gulps) they would have questions...they love you, they're bound to have lots of questions...and I didn't think you had the energy to deal with all that tonight."

"He's right, Madhu. This is why I let you bring him here. You'd be safe here, you need some rest right now."

"...if you still want, I will take you. But I promise you nobody would bother you here. Mom has gone to Vaishno Devi, so there is nobody at home. And I will stay out of your way. And if we are needed at the hospital in the night, I can take you at a moment's notice." Madhu glanced at RK, who strangely enough did not look her in the eye anymore, before she nodded "Ok, I will stay here. But just for tonight."

RK nodded and softly said "...and Madhu, this is your home too.."before leading her in the house.

As they entered, Madhu noticed a large portrait of herself in the living room. The first thing RK did as they switched on the lights, was to run to the portrait and take off the garland on it. There was no further conversation as RK led Madhu to her room...to their room. Madhu felt overwhelmed by a flood of mixed feelings. Memories from what seemed like another life drowned her as she sat on her bed.

"You rest, I will send up something to eat. And if you need anything, just yell. Take care Madhu" RK said as he left the room after picking up a few of his clothes.

Madhu sat there for several minutes in silence once RK left. Life had brought her to a crazy point, and she did not know what next to do. At one level, she was engulfed with worry and guilt about her mother. It was her fault that her mother was in the hospital. And at another, being near RK made her terribly uncomfortable. It brought back so many of her suppressed feelings to surface, and she struggled to feel one coherent emotion. Once again, she felt cheated, abandoned and hurt. And yet in some way, she felt warm, happy and home. Seeing RK again brought as much peace to her as it unsettled her. She looked around the room...everything was same, yet different. There were no more pictures of RK in the room. Everywhere she looked, she saw herself. Her things, her picture. All her clothes were in her wardrobe just the way she used to be. Once she showered and ate some food, the exhaustion of the day wore away.

"...they love you...they're bound to have lots of questions.." RK had said. But he himself hadn't asked any. It hadn't been like how she had imagined it would go if she ever came face to face with RK again. There was no yelling or fighting or blaming. It wasn't even like he didn't care or acknowledge her or had forgotten about her. He had seemed happy and relieved when he saw her. He still acted with attitude. But overall, RK seemed..different. He was in pain, perhaps guilty, Madhu knew. But she couldn't do anything to help him, because she wasn't ready to forgive him and to forget everything that had happened.

There was no point chasing shadows of the past.

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Madhu felt like someone was calling her. She heard faint shrieks of her name, and eventually that made her wake up with a start. It was evidently late in the night...3am, she checked. "Madhu.."she heard. It was RK's voice!

Quickly leaping on her feet, she ran downstairs, where RK seemed to be. Maybe they needed to go to the hospital. But she saw nothing. The house was dark. As she switched on the lights, she saw RK - asleep on the living room couch, evidently yelling in sleep. She walked to him. He was seating profusely and his breathing was heavy. Clearly he was having a nightmare...about her. She drew her hand to wake him, when he shrieked "Madhuuu..." causing her to involuntarily bend and hug him. She tried to gradually shake him as she held him to make him wake up.

"No Madhu...don't go.."he was still shouting as his dream finally broke. He was shaking in Madhu's arms. She held him tight.

"Shhh...it's all right. It was just a dream."she whispered. She felt RK's hug tighten around herself. She closed her eyes. Just for one moment, she forgot everything but the moment she was living. Being in RK's arms after so long..it was bliss. Just for one moment, nothing else mattered, and she wanted to savor this feeling of not being alone, not being in pain for just this moment. It was a beautiful, perfect moment.

The next moment, however, was claimed by reality. She jerked back, breaking the hug, and looked at RK's face, only inches away. His eyes were red with genuine pain and fear, she saw. As their eyes met, tears streamed down RK's eyes.

"I am sorry Madhu. I am so so so sorry." he broke down. Madhu didn't want to cry, but she didn't have control over her tears. She was still holding RK and wanted to move back, when she realised RK's body was blazing hot.

"RK..RK..get a hold on yourself. You have a high fever. Wait, let me see." Madhu stepped away and walked towards the kitchen to find a medicine for RK. On her way, she saw food untouched on the dining table.

When she came back, RK was sitting up and calm.

"I am sorry..I had a bad dream. Did not mean to disturb you."

"You didn't have dinner."Madhu asked, but RK did not respond.

"I am going to heat up and bring it. Eat something, and then take the medicine. You are burning with fever."

RK didn't protest. He quietly ate the food and medicine that Madhu gave. Once again, she noticed, he wasn't looking in her eyes.

"Why are you sleeping here? You could have slept in the guest bedroom"

"No I am fine here. This is closest to you if you need anything at night. I am fine. Go back to sleep. You need rest. I am really sorry for disturbing you." RK said and lied down.

As Madhu turned to leave, she heard him call "Thank you Madhu."

"Goodnight RK"

"Goodnight"

"Love you biwi" Madhu realised was the next thing she expected to hear, as had been their habit, their customary greeting every night after good night. But today nothing came.

"Love you biwi" RK thought to himself and closed his eyes to try and sleep again.

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