Can Abeer be a good husband ? Share your views

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shruthiravi

@shruthiravi

Stunner

+ 2

Posted: 9 years ago

#51

For me the only mistake bua did was after giving the testimony not knowing completely the details of the family against whom she gave the testimony. She should have tried to know everyone of them so that in future if anyone tries to play games she has the defense.

That lack of caution from bua's side, did Meher in. Otherwise what bua did is right at that time and what Taiji did was wrong.

@Amri it is not only you, I was also very touchy on the subject. Hit and run happens. Ignore. Rape happens. Mistake😡. In EHT forum my blood used to boil when there were posts of people shipping for Shaurya-Durga marriage telling Shaurya can be reformed . Another Shaurya is also dashing, Dev not good looking enough .Reformed my foot 😡 was my take and seriously I was appalled by those comments. Is good looks the only criterion for choosing your life partner 😡 and is it the woman's job to marry and reform a criminal.

Edited by shruthiravi - 9 years ago

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malikakas

@malikakas

Rocker

Posted: 9 years ago

#52

@sharoon. I wrote a detailed post in answer to your last comment but then my computer froze and it all got deleted. Now that the show is ending I don't feel motivated to write it all again.

But in regards to the contacts question-- of course you can get contacts. But you aren't 7 years old. Most eye care professionals recommend that ages between 11-14 be the ideal age to start wearing contacts. I don't think a 7 year old needs contacts for cosmetic reasons. I think if you are going to start focussing on looks at that age you are only going to build insecurity. Glasses don't make people unattractive. And you don't get glasses because you are a bookworm or watch too much tv. That's a misconception. Mostly its genetic. http://abcnews.go.com/Health/EyeHealthNews/11-eye-myths-debunked/story?id=8919023

I didn't see that Ishaan was a bookworm or a coward. He was clearly a confident kid who played basketball and video games with Akshat. Ishaan had no problems fighting with Abeer. Before Abeer came on the scene Akshat had been a decent parent. Trying to make Akshat and Meher into bad parents does not make Abeer a better parent.

And I disagree with the concept that a male member is needed. Abeer was not needed in the accident stuff. Bua is more than capable of looking after Meher. She has been for almost 30 years without the support of a man. She gave Abeer a chance to help because she felt bad that Abeer had been begging.

The difference between your Aunt and Abeer is that your Aunt probably understood the reasons your father said no and disagreed with them. Where did Abeer understand why Meher said no? Abeer was wrong to give money because Meher knew Tunnu wasn't mature yet. Your Aunt was right because she understood your maturity level. Abeer has not known Tunnu for the last 8 years. He doesn't know anything about Tunnu's dynamic with his family. So he was wrong to interfere in something he had no clue about. If he thought Meher was wrong, first he should've tried to make Meher understand why she is wrong before going behind her back.

Abeer is not a bad person but he thinks he understands more than he actually does. I wish there had been time to watch him learn. But i am happy yesterday he learned about letting go. For the first time he did something in Ishaan's best interest without thinking for himself. I am finally proud of him.

And I agree with you that Meher is completely wrong in this Akshat track. Completely wrong. I said it from the start-- Meher is wrong in leading Akshat on. I cannot support what Meher has done.

Now there is nothing wrong with being in love with one person and moving on with another if that first person isn't right for you. Even Abeer was planning on marrying Sasha. Look at Kabhi Kabhi-- was Rakhee right to marry Shashi Kapoor while she loved Amitabh her whole life? People do have great loves that for some reason they couldn't end up with and can have successful lives with others. You can love more than one person-- you just love them in different ways.

If Meher thinks she is incompatible with Abeer then it doesn't make her wrong to try to build a life with someone else. But the problem is Meher is not being honest about why she is saying yes to Akshat. Its not because she sees intrinsic value in her relationship with Akshat that she is happy to build a life on. Its more that she is using Akshat as a wall so she doesn't succumb to her love for Abeer - a relationship that has caused her a lot of pain. And the person who is going to get hurt the most is Akshat.

Edited by malikakas - 9 years ago

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malikakas

@malikakas

Rocker

Posted: 9 years ago

#53

@sharoon3210

Do you think you ever forget your first love? Here.. there is a debate on times of India. 77% said no and 23% said yes. http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/life-style/debate/debateshow/4652878.cms

Obviously it depends on what you were calling love. But I think for some people its very tough to truly forget their first love. But that doesn't mean its wrong to move on with someone as long as you are honest with yourself about why you are moving on. For me, your new partner also deserves honesty about your previous relationship. Not everyone is the same so some people can accept that as long as they know that their new partner is genuine about their current relationship. Meher was not genuine.

I don't think Aishwarya stopped loving Salman at the end of Hum dil de chuke Sanam but she was genuine about making it work with Ajay. I don't think love is like an on/off switch that when you are with a new person the emotions for the old person go away. The new person just makes a different space in your heart.

And you are right its not easy in practice. Its very tough to move on to a new person when you still have the old person in your life. Akshat had a right to feel insecure. But that's why Akshat told Meher that once she committed to him he didn't want her ex in their lives. So that part i think was fine where the problem was Meher hadn't followed through on what Akshat needed from her.

The problem was Meher wasn't honest about what she actually felt for Akshat, she was marrying him because she was hurt by Abeer. That's when you run into problems. That's what the problem with Dia was in Rehna hai tere dil mein. She was hurt by Maddy but instead of dealing with that hurt she was Saif to prove a point. It was almost like she was in a rebound relationship. To me thats wrong.

Edited by malikakas - 9 years ago

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cool_kriti

@cool_kriti

Dazzler

Posted: 9 years ago

#54

Originally posted by: tumbin
I completely agree with you&I definitely am waiting for the day,when Meher accepts Abeer with all his qualities as well as vices.By the way, they were very much immatured when they married & boys mental age is always less than girls.Hope you get my point.

Yes I totally get your point... I have seen many guys being immature at the age of 23-24... No Offence...😆

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@.SSSS.

Voyager

+ 3

Posted: 9 years ago

#55

Originally posted by: shruthiravi
@cool_kriti using Alia was a bad move to check if Akshat is good or bad. A man with conscience would never have agreed to it. Let whatever be the reason. What if Akshat is bad. What if he drugs Alia and take her to a hotel room. What if he has gundas who can tie up Abeer and Appendix. Who will answer if Alia is taken advantage by Akshat and co.
Akshat is bad, but I will point the finger at Abeer only for the fiasco. Because for me more than the criminal, the person who gave chance for such a crime to take place is more of a culprit.

Alia was used, poor girl suffered and Abeer was responsible for that molestation on Alia. And that doest make him look better in my eyes. You don't do such cheap tricks to prove yourself right and using Akshat's car as washroom that was disgraceful.

Exactly... No one is saying Akshat any perfect here... but that incident was planned by Abeer..

Aliya is a Female fan of Abeer.. and so Abeer took it as advantage and used her as a pawn in his game.. How selfish was that?

(Thanks for this emoticon mallika.. I need to use it here... sorry.. these days, I really need to use your emoticon...)

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shruthiravi

@shruthiravi

Stunner

+ 2

Posted: 9 years ago

#56

@Cool_Kirti what has changed in Abeer. His impulsiveness has not changed a bit. His impulsiveness in closing tunnu's loan without telling Meher, got her almost dead. And the comments she heard from Kuber, that she is a woman who is opening her doors for rich men. Who was responsible for that.

And for giving money to Tunnu even Suman reprimands Abeer. Then he knows the truth of Kuber. He publicly insults his dad. Yes Kuber maybe bad, but even he doesn't publicly insult Meher. What needs to be spoken it has to be spoken in private. But going ahead and washing the dirty linen in public is not a mark of maturity.

I stick to my point, Abeer is not mature, impulsive with his actions even at this point he can only bring hurt. Because if he thinks he wants something, he wants it by hook or crook. Doesn't matter who lives, who dies, who suffers. Yes he might repent for a short time, but is soon back to his own ways of being irresponsible.

And you said you cant compare Abeer to Sooraj because Abeer is a rich lad. Why cant I compare him with Dev. Dev too belonged to a super rich family, have got enough money and comforts. Still from where that compassion came in him. From where self reliance came in him. He was a guy with very good manners, good educational qualifications and earning on his own irrespective of being the 50% shareholder of a very big corporation. So it doesn't matter whether you are rich or poor. Your background may have some influence on your attitudes, but in the end it is you and the values you believe makes you the person you are, only if you are willing to retrospect properly.

@Zainab I told Meher's problem. She is clinging too much to the past. Instead of trying to put across her problems, she points out his problems. Her insecurity is at the root cause of all her actions. And a mother's protective instinct that her son should not suffer heartbreak in the hands of an impulsive man. If Meher needs to trust Abeer, let him do something to prove her wrong. As of now I have not seen anything.

Even when EHT was running I was clear with locket and guitar Durga should never melt and go back to Dev revealing her identity. Let him deliver on the trust Nithya placed on him. And yes CVs did make Dev deliver on the trust Nithya placed on him. He took the proper punishment for his mistake before getting her back. And Durga too proved why Dev loved Nithya so much and to what extend she can go for his sake. I mean there was a give and take in that relation.

So Abeer also prove that he can be a good husband. Mere Nishaan doesn't make him one.

Edited by shruthiravi - 9 years ago

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cool_kriti

@cool_kriti

Dazzler

Posted: 9 years ago

#57

Originally posted by: shruthiravi
@cool-kirti you are missing the point, when Sooraj stood up for Sandhya, he didn't insult his mother. Whenever he had to sort out the differences he took the blame on himself guarding the reputation of his wife and mother. That was his beauty. He was a good son, brother and husband. He managed relations.
Meher was hurt, Kuber is the problem. When Meher has divorced him its Meher's fault. Insult Meher in public, Insult Kuber in public. You cant stand up by someone by pointing fingers at someone else. You don't become a good husband by becoming a bad son. Suffering happens when you try to balance out.Maturity comes when you try to balance it out.

Dev could have easily rebelled against his family and gone out and took a stand in public. Many were expecting him to do that and he was termed weak just because he was not questioning his family. I could emphatizize with his character because he was trying to balance out being a son and a friend. He didn't had solid proof to convince his mother because Payal changed her statement. He wanted to ensure his mother is not hurt, when he rebels against his family, because his dad's name is also associated with the extended family and that name is not tarnished. All his problems stem from the balancing.

And Abeer has to learn this balancing.

And here it is not only Abeer at fault, Meher is also at fault. Akshat is right when he says she cant manage relations. Both has to grow up. Atleast for Ishaan's sake.

@shrutiravi Sooraj did make Sandhya leave home after the airplane incident though Sandhya was right in her place... SO here even Sooraj is not 100% right...

I like your point that Meher and Abeer both need to grow up here ...😆😆Its not ABeer's fault alone that things are the way they are... If Abeer acts in a weird way it is that Meher is making him do so by not giving him a chance and rushing towards her marriage...

Edited by cool_kriti - 9 years ago

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shruthiravi

@shruthiravi

Stunner

+ 2

Posted: 9 years ago

#58

Yes Malikakas. What I like about Akshat is that he is showing Abeer how to be at the receiving end. And I really like that, because it is time someone stopped mollycoddling Abeer. Bacha hai, men are like this, that and all. Accountability applies to all. It is because of supporting the attitude of men like Abeer, we still hear rape is a mistake, acid was thrown on the woman because she refused a proposal. You can say Abeer is not like that, he wont do that and all. But Abeer's attitude of bullying is the early stages of such things, owning woman as a property.

Meher is Abeer's ex-wife. It is time he accepted that. And try not to control her. He can have custody battle for the child, but he cannot decide who Meher wants in her life as husband.

He did an insincere marriage plan with Sasha. And Meher is doing an insincere plan with Akshat. I know Rage of Angels. I know what happens to Michael Moretti. Akshat is my moretti. Abeer can have the woman, but most probably Akshat will win it hands down for me.

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kavita

@kavitha_r

Sparkler

+ 3

Posted: 9 years ago

#59

Originally posted by: komal1234567891
absolutely i agree with u completely...abeer will not only be a good but THE BEST and the most loving and caring hubby and a responsible father as well this time😃😃😳...we all have seen despite his anger in season 1 he was so caring towards meher whenever anything wrong occured with meher...pinky bhai case then swimming pool case...infact even in past abeer was the one who tried to convince meher that he does not want divorce but it was meher who in her anger or ego(i must say) did not give him a chance...😕😕...as for now in my opinion it has become complusory for meher to realize the worth of abeer and for that some big shock like accident track is a compulsory thing to occur ...this is necessary for abeer to win back his meher and child...😊😊...otherwise we all know meher is so much stubborn...no offence...its my opinion...😊😊😊

Meher is still stubborn. Even in the engagement party, Meher said that she does not want to get ditched again which means that she has indirectly accepted that she still loves Abeer.

Meher has to get over her ego or prejudice, then her bua to accept Abeer back.

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kavita

@kavitha_r

Sparkler

+ 3

Posted: 9 years ago

#60

Originally posted by: .SSS.

Exactly... No one is saying Akshat any perfect here... but that incident was planned by Abeer..

Aliya is a Female fan of Abeer.. and so Abeer took it as advantage and used her as a pawn in his game.. How selfish was that?

(Thanks for this emoticon mallika.. I need to use it here... sorry.. these days, I really need to use your emoticon...)

I am not telling that Abeer did the right thing using Alia as a pawn but what was the need for Akshat to molest Alia.

He has no right to do this to Alia even if she comes naked before him. That is the quality of a gentleman.

We see so many rapes & molestations in TV & Internet news. The guy who raped the girl always say that she was wearing short & seductive dresses & it tempted him.

Just because the girl is wearing seductive clothes, that does not mean that he can get physical with her against her wishes.

The same goes in Akshat-Alia case too.

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