Can Abeer be a good husband ? Share your views

Page

Next Last

cool_kriti

@cool_kriti

Dazzler

Posted: 9 years ago

I just happened to read few posts in the forum about Abeer is not a husband material because he is too impulsive and immature... So i thought I would share my POV in this topic...This is just my opinion and no offence 😊 I respect everybody's opinion...

There is a scene in BD where Appendix and Abeer tries to frame Akshat by sending Alia in a coffee shop. Abeer says to Appendix- "Ghor Kalyug aagaya hai... Ladkiyon ko aise turkey chahiye(pointing to Appendix) aur ek mei hu patnivrata jo gaaliyan khakar bhi apni BV k liye jaan de raha hu"... that scene defined Abeer. Abeer is a loyal, faithful guy who only believed in love more than anything else in life...All his decisions are based on love... He is ready to give up anything in his life for his love...No money, fame in the world is more important to him than his love for Meher... Like Suman says - though Akshat has everything he does not have a golden heart like Abeer...

Abeer being the only son of a multi-millionaire father could have been married many times by now... He could have lived the life the way he wanted... But No... what does Abeer do ? Abeer spends 8 years of his life alone like a dead body as he claims and still loves Meher... He can plead pray to God for 15 days when Meher is in hospital... He can give up all his wealth just to save Meher's brother... He treats her mother as his own mother...He lands himself in front of Pinky Bhai to save his wife...After knowing that his wife hid his son for 8 years, still he forgives her and tries to win over her and Ishaan...Does what is good for them... He can give his life for them... His decisions, his everyday activities depends on them...He apologises for his mistake chucking his ego many times...In this Kalyug, it is hard to find such a guy with a golden heart...Anybody can find people like Akshat who believes in leading a life because they are obligated to it... But being in love and believing in love is the best thing of life...I would be the most happiest if I can get someone like that who keeps my interests and myself as the topmost priority...Being immature/impulsive can be corrected with love... But being characterless freak like Akshat cannot be corrected...

So what if he is impulsive and little immature?? Guys grow with age... As time flies by he will take up his responsibilities as and when the situation arises... More than anything he is willing to change... He tells clearly to meher that he will do as she says... He is willing to be a good father, a good husband... One cant be judged by their past actions... Honestly to me fleeing to SIngapore did not seem such a big crime that he should be punished and hanged for his entire life... More than anything he came back the night before divorce when he realised his mistake...

I am not against Meher's character here.. She might be ignoring Abeer for her reasons.. I am just trying to justify that ABeer can be a good husband... I just hope they keep Abeer's character the same way in the story till the end...😆😆

Please feel free to share your views😃

Edited by cool_kriti - 9 years ago

Quote

Frequent Posters

malikakas

@malikakas

Rocker

Posted: 9 years ago

I don't know.

I think he has the ability to be a good husband. But right now the way he is acting I don't think he would be any better than last time. And last time he was a terrible husband. I personally would never go back to him if I were Meher. Yeah he has a good heart but he is incredibly selfish.

You wrote: I would be the most happiest if I can get someone like that who keeps my interests and myself as the topmost priority...

But he doesn't do that. And that's been my whole issue with him. Meher's interests were in fulfilling her responsibilities. He knew that before he married her and promised to help her. He made so many promises that he never kept.

Did he ever do anything to help her responsibilities? Did he wake up in the morning and make her breakfast, did he give her coffee at night when she was working on her presentation? Did he start working to provide money for her? Far from making her life easier, he made it so much harder.

The problem is that Abeer says whatever needs to be said to get what he wants but he doesn't even bother living up to it. And he hasn't changed.

He told Meher he would do anything she wants but he once again is back to acting like a jerk trying to hurt her because he's been hurt. Meher was hurt when he insulted her at her birthday party but she didn't try take revenge. She tried to fix the root of his frustration by quitting her job. That's the kind of behaviour I want to see from Abeer. Not just making Meher's life difficult because he isn't getting what HE wants.

Its easy to say you love someone but its only when you are able to compromise your desires to respect what they want is when you prove that love. At this point Abeer just looks like he wants Meher as some sort of trophy. He has no concern for her emotional state.

If Abeer truly was sorry about how he treated her in the past he would accept her saying no to him as a consequence of his actions and not be angry about it. And not keep trying to push her or beg her. He would've respected her wishes.

And certainly wouldn't have used Akshat's car as a washroom. What had Akshat done to him at that point in time? Stood by and supported the woman he claims to love for 8 years without getting love in return. Abeer couldn't support Meher for a month and he thinks he is better than Akshat?

The problem with the way he is acting is that Akshat is coming off as the better person. He probably isn't but Abeer is not showing himself as a good person. At some point I want to see Abeer respect Bua and Akshat for looking after his family for so long when in the same position he ran away.

Abeer needs to think about what is in Meher's and Ishaan's best interests and put aside his own needs to do what is right for them.

At this point I think Abeer needs to go through a phase where he realizes the value of a person like Akshat. Meher can trust him to pick up Ishaan from school. Remember when she trusted Abeer to pick up her mom and he got drunk. Nissar manipulated him but Abeer should know his responsibilities and limits. And he hasn't changed. Look how easily Akshat got him drunk in the middle of the day when he knew he had a press conference. What if one day he was with a fan who wanted to get him drunk and he had to pick up Ishaan? Would Abeer stop on his own? Would he drink and drive with Ishaan in the car?

Abeer needs to take a good look at himself.

Edited by malikakas - 9 years ago

Quote

Looks like you are new here. Register for free, learn and contribute.

Srishti

@srishtisingh

Voyager

Posted: 9 years ago

Abeer as far as i have understood he is a passionate and loyal lover but yeah when it comes to question of him being a good husband, i think he will need someone who is mature enough to guide him, sensible and patient enough. He is more playful and kiddish in nature, and too some extent such life partner do keep keep the spark ongoing even after marriage. But the other half will need to be exact opposite than them. 8 years ago he was a pampered and spoiled child who always got his way. But people grow up with time. Not everyone is on same level of maturity. But i do think if given a second chance he might prove to be good. Still i donot fault meher for not giving him a chance, but i do blame her to not being strong enough. In my opinion her reasons for marrying akshat is wrong.(personally i donot find akshat as bad guy till now)

Quote

TUM BIN

@tumbin

Navigator

Posted: 9 years ago

I completely agree with you&I definitely am waiting for the day,when Meher accepts Abeer with all his qualities as well as vices.By the way, they were very much immatured when they married & boys mental age is always less than girls.Hope you get my point.

Edited by tumbin - 9 years ago

Quote

malikakas

@malikakas

Rocker

Posted: 9 years ago

@cool Kirti

I think our difference in opinion comes from the fact that I don't see how Abeer has the right to make the determination Akshat is negative. Not saying Akshat won't turn out negative but Akshat hasn't done anything worse than Abeer has ever done so far.

Akshat touching Alia was wrong. But wasn't it just as wrong for Abeer to exploit Alia's sexuality and using her to lure Akshat like that? He didn't even ask Alia for permission to use her. He lied about the intention. Does that make Abeer a better man?

Akshat touched Alia inappropriately because he knew he was being framed and wanted to make her uncomfortable enough to run into Abeer's arms. But he wasn't actually getting off on it. If I were Akshat and someone was trying to frame me, I would think that woman is very cheap and deserved whatever tactic necessary.

But Abeer has also touched Meher inappropriately to make her uncomfortable. Like the dance at Nissar's party and when Meher had to kick him in the gut. So if Abeer can cross a line to prove a point, I don't see why I should have a higher standard for Akshat?

At least Aksaht doesn't try to get physical with Meher against her permission the way Abeer does. Abeer is her ex so he doesn't have a right to touch her when she is saying no. Can you imagine if Akshat faked an injury to hold Meher in his arms.. we would all think he is cheap even though he is her fiance. Yet Abeer does that.

This whole thing started with Abeer using Akshat's car as a washroom. What had Akshat done to him at that point? So do you think Abeer is unbiased enough to make a decision that he is better for Meher than Akshat?

Even Abeer chose to spike Meher's drink to bring her true personality in front of the world to get revenge against his father humiliating him. So how can Abeer think Akshat was bad based on that. When Appendix was pointing out how great of a catch Akshat was compared to him-- did Abeer stop and think that maybe he is right and that he wants the best for Meher. Or did he try to trap Akshat on false charges? So no i don't buy that Abeer is looking out for Meher's best interest.

I am glad you brought up your parents forcing you medicine. But Abeer is not Meher's parent. This is my fundamental problem. He doesn't have the right to decide what is right for her. He does not have the right to force himself on her which is what he has been doing. There is no law that says an ex-wife needs the approval of her ex-husband to decide on who to marry even if there are kids involved.

Frankly I am not even sure if Abeer has the understanding to know what is good for himself. If Abeer had any sense how could Akshat goad him into drinking when he knew he had a press conference? He chose to fall into peer pressure, something he is now teaching his son to do. Telling Ishaan he looks like a loser in glasses? I don't think Abeer has any idea of what a good parent is supposed to be.

Saying all that I think Abeer has the potential to be a better husband and father than Akshat but I don't think he is there yet where he can point fingers at Akshat's actions.

Yeah forgiveness is important. But how many times can you forgive he same mistake? Repeating the same mistake becomes a gunnah as Abeer said. How many times did Abeer fight with Meher and leave her for the night. They were married for a month-- he left at least 5 times after promising to never do it again. Meher easily forgave him every time. But the last time was the straw that broke the camel's back. I am not saying Meher acted perfectly but she tried to understand his perspective and change herself something Abeer did not do. And Abeer has not changed. He still was running in there to fight with Meher when Appendix stopped him.

Quote

shruthiravi

@shruthiravi

Stunner

+ 2

Posted: 9 years ago

@cool_kriti using Alia was a bad move to check if Akshat is good or bad. A man with conscience would never have agreed to it. Let whatever be the reason. What if Akshat is bad. What if he drugs Alia and take her to a hotel room. What if he has gundas who can tie up Abeer and Appendix. Who will answer if Alia is taken advantage by Akshat and co.

Akshat is bad, but I will point the finger at Abeer only for the fiasco. Because for me more than the criminal, the person who gave chance for such a crime to take place is more of a culprit.

Alia was used, poor girl suffered and Abeer was responsible for that molestation on Alia. And that doest make him look better in my eyes. You don't do such cheap tricks to prove yourself right and using Akshat's car as washroom that was disgraceful.

Quote

komal1234567891

@komal1234567891

Beginner

Posted: 9 years ago

absolutely i agree with u completely...abeer will not only be a good but THE BEST and the most loving and caring hubby and a responsible father as well this time😃😃😳...we all have seen despite his anger in season 1 he was so caring towards meher whenever anything wrong occured with meher...pinky bhai case then swimming pool case...infact even in past abeer was the one who tried to convince meher that he does not want divorce but it was meher who in her anger or ego(i must say) did not give him a chance...😕😕...as for now in my opinion it has become complusory for meher to realize the worth of abeer and for that some big shock like accident track is a compulsory thing to occur ...this is necessary for abeer to win back his meher and child...😊😊...otherwise we all know meher is so much stubborn...no offence...its my opinion...😊😊😊

Quote

Mandy

@mandy0310

Alumni

+ 8

Posted: 9 years ago

Great post! Honestly I believe Abeer can be a good husband, its like he is always telling Meher he has many flaws but he is not bad at heart. We all know he did Meher wrong and she is justified in not wanting to let her guard down but this is why I am hoping with Abeer now learning the truth about his son, trying to rectify all the mistakes he has made, he will be able to prove that he has changed. I really want this to be Abeer's redemption and growth period, let him show that despite his flaws he can be a good father and husband.

Quote

cool_kriti

@cool_kriti

Dazzler

Posted: 9 years ago

Originally posted by: malikakas
I don't know.

I think he has the ability to be a good husband. But right now the way he is acting I don't think he would be any better than last time. And last time he was a terrible husband. I personally would never go back to him if I were Meher. Yeah he has a good heart but he is incredibly selfish.

You wrote: I would be the most happiest if I can get someone like that who keeps my interests and myself as the topmost priority...

But he doesn't do that. And that's been my whole issue with him. Meher's interests were in fulfilling her responsibilities. He knew that before he married her and promised to help her. He made so many promises that he never kept.

Did he ever do anything to help her responsibilities? Did he wake up in the morning and make her breakfast, did he give her coffee at night when she was working on her presentation? Did he start working to provide money for her? Far from making her life easier, he made it so much harder.

The problem is that Abeer says whatever needs to be said to get what he wants but he doesn't even bother living up to it. And he hasn't changed.

He told Meher he would do anything she wants but he once again is back to acting like a jerk trying to hurt her because he's been hurt. Meher was hurt when he insulted her at her birthday party but she didn't try take revenge. She tried to fix the root of his frustration by quitting her job. That's the kind of behaviour I want to see from Abeer. Not just making Meher's life difficult because he isn't getting what HE wants.

Its easy to say you love someone but its only when you are able to compromise your desires to respect what they want is when you prove that love. At this point Abeer just looks like he wants Meher as some sort of trophy. He has no concern for her emotional state.

If Abeer truly was sorry about how he treated her in the past he would accept her saying no to him as a consequence of his actions and not be angry about it. And not keep trying to push her or beg her. He would've respected her wishes.

And certainly wouldn't have used Akshat's car as a washroom. What had Akshat done to him at that point in time? Stood by and supported the woman he claims to love for 8 years without getting love in return. Abeer couldn't support Meher for a month and he thinks he is better than Akshat?

The problem with the way he is acting is that Akshat is coming off as the better person. He probably isn't but Abeer is not showing himself as a good person. At some point I want to see Abeer respect Bua and Akshat for looking after his family for so long when in the same position he ran away.

Abeer needs to think about what is in Meher's and Ishaan's best interests and put aside his own needs to do what is right for them.

At this point I think Abeer needs to go through a phase where he realizes the value of a person like Akshat. Meher can trust him to pick up Ishaan from school. Remember when she trusted Abeer to pick up her mom and he got drunk. Nissar manipulated him but Abeer should know his responsibilities and limits. And he hasn't changed. Look how easily Akshat got him drunk in the middle of the day when he knew he had a press conference. What if one day he was with a fan who wanted to get him drunk and he had to pick up Ishaan? Would Abeer stop on his own? Would he drink and drive with Ishaan in the car?

Abeer needs to take a good look at himself.

Well I appreciate your opinion but you are missing one big point here...Meher is marrying Akshat in a few days and is going to be doomed along with her son Ishaan...If you compare Akshat and ABeer then definitely Abeer is a better guy. He knows how to respect women unlike Akshat who tried to molest Alia just to prove his point...

Sometimes, when I was a kid I used to not take medicines when I was ill..I would never listen to my parents kind words to take medicine... So my parents used to threaten me to take medicines else they would beat me... Was that a selfish motive ?? Does that mean they do not love me or not keep my interests as their top priority??Its the same situation here... Meher is being stubborn for whatever reasons and is going to marry Akshat... Akshat is not a good guy which Abeer knows very well... So he has to threaten her so that she does not marry Akshat and in this way he can save his wife and child... It is not a zidd to make Meher listen to him or something... It is a zidd to save his child and wife which is totally justified...He does not want to prove himself right... He has already accepted in front of everyone that Meher is the wiser one...He has already accepted he's immature / impulsive but he knows very well that Akshat is not a good person either...I am not saying Abeer is the best person on earth but he is definitely better than Akshat because he knows how to respect a woman... A guy who does not know how to respect women can never make a good husband/father according to me no matter how good he is in other stuff ...This is my POV...

You said - If Abeer truly was sorry about how he treated her in the past he would accept her saying no to him as a consequence of his actions and not be angry about it. And not keep trying to push her or beg her. He would've respected her wishes. That's the kind of behaviour I want to see from Abeer. Not just making Meher's life difficult because he isn't getting what HE wants

At this point if he just says Meher I am at fault and I respect whatever you do.. Meher will marry Akshat and Akshat would become Ishaan's legal father... This would affect not only Meher but also Ishaan...Hence the only option left for Abeer to save his wife and child is to threaten them... He is not going to tell Ishaan about his parentage anyway... He's only threatening them.. If you see the episode clearly he winks at SUman to tell her that he's only joking and he has no intention of doing anything like that...If AKshat was not there in the picture I am sure he would have behaved differently...

You said- Abeer needs to think about what is in Meher's and Ishaan's best interests and put aside his own needs to do what is right for them.

That is exactly what Abeer is doing... He is dropping his ego and trying to save his son and wife despite being insulted many times...He would not have saved Meher from pinky Bhai or Tunnu if he was thinking only about himself or being selfish...

You said - Its easy to say you love someone but its only when you are able to compromise your desires to respect what they want is when you prove that love. At this point Abeer just looks like he wants Meher as some sort of trophy. He has no concern for her emotional state.

If Abeer really wanted Meher as a trophy he need not wait for 8 long years...He could have had many such trophies by now... Its his pure love towards Meher which Meher fails to understand... Forgiveness is the base of any relationship.. I am sure even our parents would have had ego clashes at many points in their life but they would have forgiven each other to take the relationship forward...

The problem is when a person does 100 things right, nobody remembers or notices him...But when he makes a small mistake everybody wants to point and punish and hang him to death...

Edited by cool_kriti - 9 years ago

Quote

shruthiravi

@shruthiravi

Stunner

+ 2

Posted: 9 years ago

#10

@cool_kirti I agree with Mallika. Abeer can be a good husband if he tries, but so far I have not seen anything in him that can be termed as needed to live a happy married. He simply doesn't respect Meher and her views. He doesn't give her space. he doesn't try to understand why she is doing what she is doing. I don't know whether you have seen DABH or EHT. But let me put some points here on why Sooraj and Dev stands over and above when it comes to becoming a husband

Sooraj understands his wife is unhappy in the marriage because he is only 9th pass and she is well educated. Because of the societal pressure she is unable to break the bond. To give her a second chance in life, to ensure she is not the one who should be faulted by the society the sweet gentleman becomes the most abusive husband throwing her out that too in front of the whole gali so that she gets the sympathy. He destroys his character for her. Yes he loved her, but loved her enough to let her go.

And yes they unite.

Once he knows her dream of becoming IPS officer, his mother putting pressure on her to move ahead with married life and seeing her confusion he takes the decision to have a celibate relation till she completes IPS.

She leaves her dream, but he doesn't allow her to and literally carries Sandhya so that she becomes IPS.

On the way he takes lot of blame on him, but every moment he guards her reputation. And it is not that she doesn't guard his reputation, but the path he walks make you respect him all the more.

In EHT a choice is given to Dev. If he marries Durga, Nithya will come in front of him on her birthday. Dev knows the mistake he committed, not being there for his friend when she needed him the most. He takes the punishment by letting her go, letting her have her wish. Because when he walks to the mandap he doesn't know Durga is Nithya. He leaves his love behind to fulfill his duty as a friend. That was his love for Nithya.

And when he finally knows Durga is Nithya there is an imaginery convo happening between them. That convo shows how much Dev has understood Nithya and her need at that point of time because he steps back not confessing his feelings for her giving her the space to do what she wants.

And that is what I call maturity which Abeer completely lack at this point. Yes he knows Meher loves him, but does he understand her, can he let her go. The answer is big no. And true love is in letting go.

Abeer didn't marry for 8 years I can give to Devdas also. After Paro married he went on drinking, drinking and died. Neither he lived,nor he allowed her to live. And I don't call it maturity. I call it living in the past, fool hardiness and escapism.

And coming to Akshat Abeer does not hold any right to hold him negative, bad or whatever. Akshat is another personality with grey shades. But Abeer is not perfect either. Before throwing stones at others, look at yourself once and your actions.

And leave these fictional characters I know how much space my husband has given me in my married life. How much he had supported me in understanding his family, helped me to navigate relations in his family as a new bride. And how much that support has helped me managing relations and had laid the foundation of a good married life.

A girl comes to the boy's house holding his hand, with he as her sole support system, trusting him, leaving behind her family and surroundings that are familiar to her.

And if she gets a baby and her husband in Singapore not owning up the responsibility of pregnancy, mistreatment from his family, she does turn out to be a Meher.

Edited by shruthiravi - 9 years ago

Quote

1 2 3 4 5 ... 10

Can Abeer be a good husband ? Share your views

Related Topics

Explore Topics