A/N : Tried something different in the style of narrative. Wanted to write a feel good kind of story. No idea how many of these feelings this was able to put across. Constructive criticism and joote most welcome 🤣 not completely satisfied with this myself 😆
Home is where the heart lies
HOME
I remove my blazer shoving it onto my shoulder in frustration. It is day 6 of me trying to be a good mature husband. It is day 6 of me trying and failing.
I sigh. I don't know how long I can do this. I don't know how long I can keep disappointing her. My eyes automatically shoot to the floor as I ring the door bell and the door opens.
"Abeer" meher calls to me excitedly as if I was the best gift she had ever recieved. I knew I wasn't one and that makes my shoulders droop as I lose my remaining ounce of strength I had gathered.
Without raising my eyes to look at her I enter the house from the gap she had left between her and the doorway. I throw my blazer to the sofa not caring when it hits the floor instead and start heading towards the bedroom but she stops me midway.
Wrapping her hands around my waist she holds me in place hugging me from the back. I stand still for a second taken aback by the fact that every second she was close to me my mood got better. She was like my personal favourite brand of an anti-depressant.
I turn around unable to help myself anymore. I knew I was worthless and every job interview i went to where i got rejected only attested to that fact. But in her eyes I was a hero, and seeing that reflection of myself in her eyes gave me strength.
"Oh Meher" i groan as i pull her into me burying myself in her neck trying to hide myself from everything. "why does it have to be so tough" i finally let the words that have been killing me.
She doesn't give me false promises that it will get better or long speeches on being optimistic. But hugs me tighter and somehow her love heals a part of my soul that got broken after hearing rejection after rejection.
Who knew real life would be so tough? I surely didn't.
------
She drags me to the dining table amid my protests of "I am not hungry" though I am starving but i want to maintain my depressed avatar. She hears none of it though and pushes me onto the dining chair while she serves up dinner for me. I eat without any more protests my depressed avatar lying in the corner of the room. She watches me eat as if it is the most interesting thing to do in the whole world, the smile never leaving her lips.
-----
She drapes herself around me in our bed, the world's most comfortable and warm blanket. It is right here and now that i finally find my solace letting go of all the baggage that has been tormenting me.
This girl who can make everything alright without uttering a single word is my wife meher abeer malhotra. I love her more than I love myself. But above all these is the fact that she is my home' a place I want to come back to at night, where I find my peace of mind, where my heart finds its happiness.
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8 years later.
I twist and turn. I try everything to wipe out her hurt expression from my mind but nothing helps. Maybe I had crossed my line i think.
'But she has said way worse' my mind reasons.
'So are you really leaving tomorrow' my heart asks
'FINALLY' my mind screams in joy.
'I don't love her ok. I don't even want to be around her. But she was my home. The place where I belonged. The place I want to come back to after a shitty day. After 8 years I have found my home again I don't know how to let go.'
I let the tears finally break through with this revelation. How does anyone go away from their home?
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Anupamaa
