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I loved today's episode, which is saying a lot considering it had so little Abeer-Meher interaction; I am so happy that they are building strong supporting tracks! Even though Meher's dad can be painful to watch, he is such an interesting character and raises such important questions about Meher's family dynamic, which is what I wanted to discuss in this post.
Today's episode made me a fall in love with the relationship between Meher's mother and Bua. I love how they depend on each other for emotional strength and support each other as co-parents to Meher and Tunnu. It's an unconventional family but in many ways a complete one. From their mother, the children learn sensitivity, generosity and humility and they get the discipline, confidence and independence from Bua. Actually the two women make an excellent parenting team which is already evident in the way Meher conducts herself: despite significant pain and loss, she is a mature, successful and emotionally stable individual. This is the kind of stable and sensible guidance that Abeer has never had. He has grown up trying to hide his pain and fight his demons completely on his own, which I think accounts for a lot of his immature behavior.
But here's the catch. Even though the two women have worked together to raise the children, I think it is Bua who has had the dominant voice, which is why she came across as much stronger...until today, when I glimpsed an unseen side to Suman. Her conversation with Meher towards the end of the episode was fascinating to me and made me wonder if she wasn't actually the wisest of them all!
A recurring lesson that keeps popping up for the characters is not to misjudge silence as weakness. Today's episode really made me wonder if we have been doing just that with regards to MM. Meher seems mature in the face of Abeer's daily pettiness, but I think she falls short when compared to her mother. Suman, unlike her daughter never felt the need to prove that she was over her husband, even though he left her in much more damning circumstances, to pursue another relationship. She may not say anything when he turns up but the very fact that she is able to treat his other wife and child with kindness shows that she is above any kind of bitter feeling towards them or him. Unlike Meher who is motivated by vengeful feelings to show Abeer up (therefore taking the Groove job), Suman silently carries on with her life, never seeking out her husband and dealing with him only when he shows up. Given that he is the father of her children, and that is an undeniable relationship, I would argue that her approach is actually very smart. As long as she doesn't engage his nonsense, the worst he can do is show up once in a while, say a few inappropriate things and leave.
On the other hand, the results of Bua's antagonistic way of dealing with him clearly show that he is capable of doing embarrassing and even dangerous things if angered. And there is no denying that the man isn't afraid to stoop to any low and knows just where to hit the hardest. All of Bua's bluster and self-righteousness crumpled in one go today when he brought up the fact that she had no relations of her own. Thats because in the end, most of her strength comes from her pride and ego, a trait she has very visibly instilled in Meher as well. Pride is what made Bua fight so bitterly with Abeer and his dad despite knowing that her brother was in the wrong. In the same way, Meher;s pride and ego were hurt when Abeer left which fuels her need to put him down to regain it. It fits in beautifully with the theme of the show: one's own heart being the enemy of love. Meher and Bua understandably hold their pride very dear, considering how hard-earned it is, but in their zeal to guard it, they isolate themselves and miss out on other important aspects of life, especially relationships.
Suman seems to have realised there is nothing but destruction to be had from letting your ego take so much importance, and I think she sees that that is what came between Abeer and Meher. That is why she still has so much hope for their relationship, and why I think she is gently trying to teach Meher to let go of her ego a little more, something that is essential for a successful relationship. Today it was she who remained strong when her husband tried to destroy the peace of their household, she who managed to keep calm despite everything that had happened and somehow I can't see her the same way after glimpsing the strength of her silence.
Bindi
Kyunki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi 2
Jodha Akbar
