OS - Destiny's Desire...

Baraat bhi aayi... Doli bhi uthi... Main dulhan bhi bani... Ek bahu bhi bani... Par ek patni ni ban payi... Bina pati ke saath aur pyaar ke, ek bahu kabhi ek patni nahi banti... Kaash meri zindagi bhi har ek aam ladki ke jaisi hoti... Kaash mera pati bhi mujhse pyaar karta...

(Being a married women doesn't mean filling the partition with a pinch of red vermilion... It means a lot for a married women.. It means being loved by her husband, being accepted by her in-laws... She became his bride, she became a daughter-in-law of the house... She was loved and adored by his family... But not him... He didn't love her.. She never became his wife... His other half in literal terms)

Apni mohabbat ka ishaar karta... Kaash koi ladka mujhe pyaar karta...

Bachpan se aaj tak main isi khwahish mein jee rahi hoon... Kaash usne bhi kabhi mujhse pyaar kia hota... Kaash usne mujhe apni chahat ke kabil samjha hota... Ya fir main uske layak thi hi nahi toh kyun ki mujhse shadi... Kyun uss ladke se meri shadi nahi hone di.. Jab ki main jaanti hoon ke woh mujhe pasand karta tha... Par aaj toh woh bhi apni zindagi mein khush hoga... Par main toh aaj bhi yahan hoon... Usi mod par jahan tum mujhe chod kar gaye the... Aaj bhi bas ek bahu.. Pta nahi kab ek patni ban paungi main... Kaise sapne dekh rahi hoon main... Main yeh kaise bhul gayi ke mera pati toh mujhe akela chod kar chala gya bina kuch bole... Bina kuch btae...

(Like every other girl, she also dreamnt of being in love... Of being proposed by a guy... She wishes that someday he will love her... She hopes that one day he starts loving her or for that matter looks at her with love for once... She wondered why he didn't let her marry that guy, she was supposed to marry... He definitely liked her, if not loved her... Now after years, he must also be happy in his life. But she.. She is still at that very crossroad... She isn't happy in her life... Her husband doesn't love her... She scolds herself for not remembering that her husband left her... Without a word... Without telling her anything...)

Zindagi ye safar mein hai... Katt rha hai raasta...
Humsafar toh hai magar, manzilien hai juda juda...

Hum zindagi ke humsafar hai... Par humara safar ek nahi hai... Ek hote hue bhi hum saath nahi chal sakte... Pati hote hue bhi main ek vidhwa ki tarah jee rahi hoon... Jeevan saathi k bina zindagi beetana ek saza hai... Ek bahut badi saza... Ek shraap...

(We are like the two ends of a river, flowing together but they will never meet... They will never become one. They are life partners but they don't share a thing... Life without a life partner is a curse... And she has to live with it, all her life...)

Agar tum mil jao... Zamana chod dege hum...

Main ye duniya bhi chod deti tumhare liye abeer... Par jo tumne mere saath kia hai uske baad main tumhara chehra bhi nahi dekhna chahti... Ek taraf mera dil tumse pyaar karta hai toh ek taraf nafrat... aaj tak tumne mujhe dard hi toh diya hai... College mein bhi tumhari har galti ki saza mujhe milti thi aur aaj bhi mil rahi hai... Kya badla hai... Kuch bhi toh nahi... Par ab main badal chuki hoon... Meher Purohit was a timid naive girl but Mrs. Meher Malhotra is a smart, independent businesswoman. After Abeet left me n his family for his so called dreams, i decided to stand by my family and support them. I joined dad in business and everything is just superb now.

(I could have died for you abeer, if you asked for it. But after what you did, I don't even want to see your face... It disgusts me... You always hurted me... Back in college also, I used to get punish for your silly pranks... Nothing has really changed... But I have changed... For the better)

Mere zindagi sawaari mujhe gale lga ke...
baitha diya falak pe mujhe khaak se uthake...
Yaara teri yaari ko...
Maine toh khuda mana...

There is one more development as well and its my newly found friendship with Nisaar. Nisaar was Abeer's best buddy in college... Though we all three were in the same college, we were like poles apart. Abeer never really paid attention to shy girl like m e who always used to wear boring clothes according to him. He was interested in those girls dressed in short and expensive dresses and nisaar was his partner-in-crime. I never liked him but from the time Abeer left us, Nisaar is like an inseparable part of our family. For mom dad, Nisaar is like a son to them n he is my best friend now... donno when we started knowing each other n ended up as bffs. He calls me mehu n i call him nisu... Isnt it cute...??? It is indeed... I have only one friend n dats nisaar... Thank god for giving me a friend like him...

Maine dil se kaha dhund laana khushi...
bekhabar laaya gham, toh ye gham hi sahi...

Abeer left me n changed me in and out... N i dont regret it... I was walking down the stairs wearing a stapped cotton top teamed up with a long skirt. The door bell rang n on opening the door i got the biggest shock of my life. My husband was standing in front of me but he didnt seem to notice me. He pushed me away n entered the house n i was looking at him with my eyes wide opened. He looked at me n asked "who are you...???".

I was surprised to see the guts of this guy, standing in ront me, failing to acknowledge my presence n on the top asking me who am i... I replied "i am Mrs. Meher Malh- i mean Ms. Meher Purohit". He looked at me from head to toe... Was he checking me out...??? Ohh yes he was... I said "excuse me..." to which he replied " were u always like this...??? I mean you have changed n by the way whats our current relationship status...??? " i looked at his handsome face with disgust in my eyes. He smartly continued " i mean single, divorced or still married ". I will not let him win this time... I replied "Married...??? Ohh yeah u married me n then left me... But it was just a marriage on papers... So..." he cut me in between by saying " whatever... By the way where are my mom dad n didnt dad tell u I'm coming back n will b taking over the business..." . I wasnt surprised seeing his attitude which is an evitable part of his personality.

Do ajnabee chale jaa rahe hain... Kahaan jaa rahe hai...
Ye ek doosre se dekho roothe roothe nazar aa rahe hain chale jaa rahe hain...

Abeer met mom and dad n then soon they all asked me n abeer to give another chance to each other n our so called marriage... I knew abeet would never agree so i readily agreed. There was a party that night n all throughout the party i could feel his gaze on me n i felt elated yet unhappy n uncomfortable. I was busy socialising with the guests when nisaar came and i welcomed him with a friendly hug...
"Nisu this is not done... Why are u soo late...???" i said with a wide smile.
"mehu... Why are you still so interested in me...??? I heard your husband is back" nisaar replied with a cheeky grin.
"yeah... My bad luck... " i whispered.
"ohh let it be lets dance... " Nisaat asked me n i readily agreed.

Tu pyaar hai kisi aur ka tujhe chahta koi aur hai...
Tu nazar mein kisi aur ki tujhe dekhta koi aur hai...

I was busy flirting with the hot girls in the party... I mean cmon no one can ignore my mesmerising charming personality. I heard some girls saying something like "aww... They look so cute together... What a perfect couple...!!!" i turned around to see Meher dancing with a guy and she was visibly enjoying his company... She was giggling n sometimes blushing... I never noticed that Meher was so beautiful because i could never see beyond her physical appearance... I was burning in jealous n made my way to the dance floor.

sholon si sholon si teri aakhon ki ye roshni... mere liye hai... mere liye hai...
chandni chandni, tere chehre ki ye chandni mere liye hai bas mere liye...

I pulled Meher towards myself, in my arms and suddenly felt as if i was the rightful owner of her body and her soul... no one could get what belongs to me... i dont know why i did it but i know only one thing that i would not not tolerate any other guy coming close to her. when i looked at the guy, it was Nisaar... my buddy... i met him and gave him a cold look which nisaar understood. he went from there while i pulled meher closer. my hand on her waist and her hand at my shoulder... all this just seemed perfect.. i was lost in her eyes and there was some kind of attraction that was pulling me towards her.

abhi abhi toh pasand aaye ho... abhi na karo jaane ki baat...
hum toh haare mahiya re...

as the song ended, Meher left me and went outside... i shrugged my shoulders seeing the attitude she carries now... after some time mom asked me to go n find manvi... i freezed when i saw Nisaar and Meher hugging each other... unknowingly my blood started boiling... she left me just to be with him... the thought of Meher and Nisaar being together made me feel more angry and i shook my head to avoid thinking about all this... and pretended to cough to catch the attention of the love birds who were immersed in love...
"Mom is calling you Meher... " i said in a pissed off tone and meher walked passed me and went inside. I followed her but after giving a look to Nisaar...

dil mera puch raha hai tumse, kya pyaar karoge mujhse...

the party ended leaving me with issues to sort out... why was i jealous and why the hell am i getting attracted to Meher...??? why...??? i myself went away from her but why today her staying away from me is bothering me...??? why cant i see her with anybody else...??? i dont know... i just dont know... i got up and told mom that i am ready to give this marriage another chance... was i really give a chance to this marriage...??? i dont know... i just wanted Meher to be with me... only me... i wanted her to love me the way she used to... but i am not going to drop this idea... i will tell her that this is just a trial thing for few months and after that we will sign our divorce papers...

sawan beeto jaye piharwa... (2)
mann mera ghabraye... (2)
aiso gaye pardes piya tum, chain humein nahi aaye...
mora saiyaan... mose bola na... o mora saiyaan...

i dont know what is happening... the Great Abeer Malhotra agreed to give me n this marriage another chance... but why...??? oh my god... dont tell me Nisu was right... Is Abeer really feeling jealous...??? matlab he is feeling uncomfortable seeing me n nisu together... ohh god this cant be happening... i mean whats the use of all this now... what does Abeer want ow...??? i am sure that i dont want him though i still love him but what the hell is wrong with this so called husband of mine... and why doesnt he talk to me...??? Is this the way he will give me an another chance...??? why the hell he is giving me silent treatment...??? haww... may be thats why he shifted in my... i mean in our room today morning... but why this sudden change...??? i think there is some hidden purpose in all this... Abeer surely wants my share of property... i think usko pta lag gya hai that half of the property is on my name now... he left me for money, his social life and his so called girlfriends and has returned for money only... ohh i see... u greedy malhotra u are the heights...

piya na rahe mann basiya...
piya na rahe mann basiya...

ohh god... what should i do now...??? should i really go and ask abeer whats going on in his brain or should i follow nisaar's advice...?? should i make abeer jealous... but why would he feel jealous... will he be jealous...??? but why will he feel jealous... he doesnt love me... or does he...?? i think nisu is right...
i called up Nisaar and just said " i am ready " and he giggled and i have no idea whats going on his mind. i came down the stairs to see my so called husband enjoying the football match and i quietly sat beside him... my phone rang and i recieved the call... Nisaar asked me for a movie and i agreed. Abeer was now listening to me carefully and looking at me from the corner of his eye... i saw it and went upstairs to get ready...

saason ne baandhi hai door piya...
tohre liye mora dil dhadke piya...

we are friends... ohh really...??? i am not blind meher... you could have asked me also for formality... but you are not bothered and here i didnt went out thinking we would spend sometime together... okk i admit, i stayed back fearing you would catch up with nisaar... but that is what is happening right now... i see meher descended down the stairs and burned in jealousy... what is the need to look so beautiful when you are going with a friend and that too to a movie... it would be all dark then why so much of make up... dark...?? no... i stood up and called meher. she turned with a questioning look on her beautiful face... ohh god abeer stop admiring her dude... i cleared my throat and told meher that she is not going. she asked me the reason and i fumbled with words...

meri bebassi ka byaan hai... bas chal raha na iss ghadi...
ras hasrat ka nichod doon, kas bahoon mein aa tod doon...

the door bell rang and i opened the door with anger written in my eyes... so here he is... why is he also dressed up so much...??? Nisaar i will kill you... i gave a fake smile to nisaar and Meher pushed me a little and smiled at him... ohh god... have some patience guys... i am still her husband and i am standing in front of you guys... i was literally wanting to put nisaar to fire and pulling meher in my arms... she is married to me and this guy is flirting with her infront me... forget flirting, he kissed her cheek... how dare you man...??? i never kissed her and he... he just kissed her in front of my eyes... the chain of my thoughts was broken by nisaar's words "Can i borrow your wife dude...??? wish you never married her... my bad luck ". " yeah bad luck... better stay away from her... okk... go take your sister to the movie and drop her back on time... " i retorted back...

thoda sa pyaar hua hai... thoda hai baaki...
hum toh dil de hi chuke, bas teri haan hai baaki...

ohh my god... Abeer is getting jealous... eeksss... that means he loves me... i mean cmon he was the one who told me that he will tell everybody that we cant be together and then we will sign the divorce papers... and last night he himself tore the papers and burned it turning into ash. i know he is jealous... everytime i go out with nisaar, abeer grits his teeth and makes attempts to stop me... but hum bhi kam nahin... we always ended up going on dinners and movies... and today was like the cherry on the top of the cake when he saw nisaar putting a ring on my finger... ohh gosh my dear husband, your best friend is getting married... he doesnt love me... cmon Abeer... accept your feelings... come n tell me you love me... i would forgive you after all you are my husband... i married you... And somewhere down my heart, I still love you..

humein tumse pyaar kitna ye hum nahi jaante...
magar jee nahi sakte tumhare siva...

i love you Meher... i love you... but how can i expect you to love me after all the things i did to you...?? how can you go out with nisaar... how can you always choose him over me... i am your goddamn husband and he... he is no one to you... i was supposed to be your everything but i think i am late... i am late in understanding my own feelings about you... but what can i do now...??? pehle pyaar karna nahi aata aur ab bhulana nahi aata... what have you done to me Meher...??? i am in love... i am in love with my own wife but i cant tell her because i am on the verge of losing her... i think you have made the decision... you have chosen him... i would have never believed it but now how can i ignore what i saw... i saw nisaar putting a ring on meher's finger and she was smiling and admiring it...

baksha gunaahon ko, sunke duayon ko...
rabba pyaar hai tune sabko de diya...
meri bhi aahon ko... sunle duayon ko...
mujhko woh dila maine jisko hai dil diya...

why is god punishing me like this...?? yes i left meher after marriage... i didnt give her even a single moment of happiness... i know i was wrong and i am guilty now... but now when i am ready to make things work between us... everything is just falling apart... i feel as if i will lose meher any moment... why cant i have the one i love...??? i cant let this marriage fail because i want to be with meher... i want her to be mine and i want to be hers... what am i supposed to do now...??? what...??? i have to fight for my love... i wouldnt let meher go... she cant walk out from our marriage... she cant...

kya khel ishq ne khela hai...
kya gham ka lga hai...
dil kal bhi mera akela tha,
dil aaj bhi mera akela hai...

i entered the house and searched for meher. when i heard some sound coming from our bedroom. i made my way upstairs and found that the door was locked. it filled me up with a very strange feeling... i was getting really bad thoughts about what might be happening behind the locked door and when the door opened i saw meher breathing heavily, fixing her hair and trying to catch her breath... this added fuel to the fire which was burning inside me... but this wasnt enough i guess... one look at the bedding which was in a mess and the condition of the room just broke all the limits of the patience i had been holding onto... "get out " i roared at nisaar... i am broken.. everything is finished... every limit is crossed...

kasam ki kasam hai kasam se...
humko pyaar hai sirf tumse...

dont tell me he is angry because he misinterpreted all this... should i explain...?? why should i explain...?? if he is bothered a bit, he will himself ask me... no but creating a misunderstanding would ruin everything... "Abeer you are taking it all wrong " i said scared from the look in his eyes... he looked at me as if he would eat me raw... i shrugged my shoulders and sat on the chair of my dressing waiting for him to calm down... "Dont you dare bring him into my bedroom from the next time... infact i will make sure that there will be no next time... " Abeer said and ***breaking news*** i was right... he thought that nisaar and I were-... shit... i have to stop him... i ran up to him and sat in front of him... "Abeer nothing happened... trust me... i didnt sleep with him..." i said without utmost sincerity. " thats the only thing left i guess... " he said and i was shocked knowing that my husband can think that low about me... "so you think i have illegitimate relations with your friend... " i said as i was hurt by his earlier statement... Abeet got up and stood near the window... this was the limit... i lost my calm and shouted "no... no mr. Abeer Malhotra i didnt sleep with your friend because i am married to you... i am your wife and i still love you after whatever you did to me... but why would it make any difference to you... why are you upset and broken...??? why...?? ". he turned around and fell on his knees... he was broken and i could see it... "because i have developed feelings for you... i love you damn it... i love you " he whispered... that was the only thing and i wanted to hear and he said it... i went to Abeer and sat on my knees... i made him look at me and confessed that i only and only love him... "I love you too... i love you from the day i understood what love was... i have always loved you Abeet... it hurted me to see you ignoring me, hurting me, making fun of me, but u know what... i never hated you... it was just the most difficult thing for me to do... i cant hate you... infact i hate myself for loving you so much that i cant even think of hating you or for that matter cheating on you... "

Din raat sochta hu tujhe itna pyaar main du
Jo kabhi utar na paaye tujhe wo khumar main du
Mujhe aisa tu kuch mila hai jaise ke koi dua hai
Tujhpe koi aanch aaye to main khud ko bhi jalaalu

i cant believe that she loves me... i looked at her as if i got my everything back... no one can understand how my heart broke in those few minutes when i thought i lost meher forever... those few minutes when i thought she crossed every limit of hers... i was devastated and thought that i would never be fine again... but those three words she said to me made up for the loss in just few seconds... it made me suddenly believe in destiny... i was destined to be with her or i should she was my destiny... i took her in my embrace and promised her that i would love her and cherish her all my life... i would protect her till my last breath... i would be only and only hers... i would give her everything... everything possible in this world... so basically it was destiny's desire which bonded me and Meher for the rest of our life...