MehBeer OS- Meelon Ka Jaise Tha Faasla

Meelon ka jaise tha faasla, sadiyon ka jaise tha raasta..

In a dimly lit corner of his room in groove channel stood its rockstar abeer malhotra. The entire office was empty and pin drop silent, the voices in his head though just wouldn't shut up. More aptly just one voice 'her voice'. Everything she had said to him today was like a knife through his heart. He wanted to cry but even tears had evaded him and left him alone today. His mind just kept replaying her words in an infinite loop for him, his own special concoction for slow torture. While his heart kept crying out what he should have done/said.

"Tumne dhoke se mujhe waha bulaya. Jaan boojh ke mujhe itni attention di ke sabko lage ke humare beech mei kuch chal raha hai. Mission accomplished"

He wanted to laugh at the cruel joke destiny was playing on him. She was blaming him for wanting her with him on his special night. She was blaming him for giving un-necessary attention to her wantedly. Didn't she know by now that when it came to her his heart took all its decisions on its own without consulting his head? "Even after 11 years you haven't realised that I don't give you attention but it comes automatically because you are the star my life revolves around-you've always been" he wanted to tell her instead he kept silent and let her rant on.

"Yahi chahte ho na tum ke mai embarrass hoke ye company chodke chali jaun"

"YES.YES.YES. PLEASE GO AWAY. I can't bear to see you every day and realise that you are not "my meher" anymore. It hurts too much. I just started breathing normal again please let me be" he wanted to beg her to spare his sanity but she hadn't given him the chance.

"Tum apni zid apni frustration apni ego mei pagal hokar kuch bhi kar sakte ho"

"Kuch bhi nahi kar sakta meher. I couldn't stop you from leaving me. Even my 'zid' couldn't do that. Have you completely forgotten your abeer" His heart kept screaming at her and questioning her but kept coming up to a blank response from her.

"8 saal pehle meher aur abeer ka divorce hua tha"

"Tum alag hui thi thi meher mai nahi. Kabhi mere gaano ko suna bhi hai tumne with every word I sang I just kept calling for you but you never came. You never turned back. You left me I didn't leave you. And now when I was finally learning to survive you came back to destroy what was left of me and take the spoils home."

"jo bhi tha wo aath saal pehle khatam ho chuka hai aur ab kabhi hoga nahi"

Even his crazy illogical heart didn't have a comeback or answer for that. How his already shattered heart had any more space for heart break or pain even Einstein put together with newton wouldn't have been able to figure out. Maybe even the founder of biology couldn't answer this.

The door to his room creaked open and light filled into the dark room as the object of all his agony stepped into it.

anjaan tha dil ke hona hai kya , fir bhi mujhe, lagta hai yeh

She was dressed in the pink gown he had sent for her to wear to the award function. He was right to select the pink for her-she still looked ravishing in it. For a second her beauty stunned him speechless.
humko to milna hi tha..

She extended her hand towards him not breaking eye contact with him even for a second.

"Lets finish what we started yesterday in the ATM"

A shadow of a spark returned to his eyes, in a slow swift move he snaked his hands around her waist and lifted her so that her two feet were on his, while he used his other hand to curl her hands around his neck. Then depositing his other hand to the other side of her waist he started slowly swaying to the music moving her along with him.

meelon ka jaise tha faasla, sadiyon ka jaise tha raasta..
anjaan tha dil ke hona hai kya, fir bhi mujhe, lagta hai yeh
humko to milna hi tha..

He ran his fingers through her face, trying to recollect her features from memory, how her face felt under the touch of his skin. It was like every vein in his body had sprung to life and was shooting electric currents thanks to their close proximity. They were almost hugging each other, barely moving, continously gazing into each others eyes trying to find the truth and solace that they both were searching for.

Time stood still as he gazed into her eyes searching for something that was lost a long time ago.

"Meri meher" he searched her eyes hesitantly calling for her, because of a miniscule part of a hope that she wasn't lost to him forever as he lifted her up into the air and swirled around.

"You were the only one who understood me and stood by me through everything meher. You were the one who supported me and trusted my talent when I didn't even trust myself. Wo meher kaha chali gayi? How can you think so low of me? How can you hate me so much?Dont you realize I would never hurt you intentionally. All I wanted was to stay close to you. Everything I did was just a ruse to talk to you and be near you" he looked like a man drowning in sea trying to grasp the last bit of straw that could save him.

Mujhe mera, junoon aakhir, kahan se hai, kahan laaya..
Jisse khwaboin mein tha dekha, usse rahoein mein hai paaya..

Coming back to his life after 8 years and ruining his remaining ounces of peace of mind she couldn't say she was lost to him forever. He wouldnt let her. That was a heart break and pain he would not be able to take another time. If he had to loose to win her- so be it. He needed her atleast to make his life hell, to make him feel human, to make him feel.

itna naa chaho, yu naa saraho, kal mil naa paaye, to jaane kya ho..
Kabhi naa kehna aaa...aisa tum, ab tum naa.. hona gum

He held his one hand to his back as he slowly lowered her to the ground. Taking one of her fingers in his free hand he started twirling her around him- away from him. Closing his eyes and bracing himself for what was coming next he braved himself to finally ask her

"Have I really lost you forever meher? Kya tum phir kabhi meri meher' nahi banogee?" the pain in his eyes was enough to destroy the fiercest of beasts, melt the hardest of hearts.

Jo tum dekho, to dil pighle, jo dil pighle, nazrein jhuke..
jhuki nazrein, to tan machle, jo tan machle, saasein ruke..

"No abeer" and he stopped moving so did his heart. But she moved forward, put both her hands on his shoulder and supported herself up on her tip-toes, then slowly bent her lips forward to his ears and whispered

"I never stopped being your meher" her voice choked as she said each word with utter reverence.

Finally tears came back to abeer malhotra as he shed tears of joy at her words. Even her 'yes' to his proposal hadn't made him this happy. The rest of the night was a blur to him- he vaguely remembered sleeping in meher's lap playing with her hair and hugging her tummy tight while she hummed "mere nishaan" for him and ran her fingers through his hair. Abeer slept with a smile to his face without a single nightmare that night unlike the past 8 years.

pura deewana, main ho gaya hu.. paaya tumhe to, main kho gaya hu..
kabhi naa kehna aaa, aisa tum, ab tum naa.. hona gum

The sun rays shone on abeers face waking him up from his slumber. He tried snuggling back to the comfort of her lap only for his lips to meet the cold hardwood floor in return, startled he woke up to find his semi-destroyed cabin with no sign of meher anywhere though there were 2 bottles of whiskey lying empty on the floor.

"So now I am imagining you as well. Wasn't it enough to break my heart meher purohit why are you messing with my head as well now. Please mujhe jeene do. Ghar nahi ja sakta mai kyunki tumhari yaadein waha jeene nahi deti. The nightmares torture me. Office mei to mujhe baksh do. Akhir jaun to kaha jaun mai." he sighed dejectedly throwing his face into his palms catching hold of his head, trying to hold himself together, trying not to fall apart and failing miserably at it.

Meelon ka jaise tha faasla, sadiyon ka jaise tha raasta..
anjaan tha dil ke hona hai kya,

From a far corner window a girl clad in pink peeped into his room tears flowing from her eyes at his miserable state.

"You bring me to the point of insanity and then you are heartbroken because of what i do in reaction to your stupidity abeer how is this fair? You want me there to cure your broken heart, when you were the one who broke mine by leaving me. Tumhe jo humare beech faasle badhaye haina abeer mujhe chodke wo nahi mit sakte.. No matter how much I want.. No matter how much I try"

Was this how their story was supposed to end? Then what the point of all the never ending pain and agony? Would it ever go away? Would the love ever lessen enough for her to be able to breathe a day without thinking of him? She didn't think it was possible, especially after last night when one dejected heartbroken look on his face had made her go running to him, to console him, to take care of him, to be with him and more than anything else to mend her own broken heart being with "her abeer".

But he could never know, she would never let him know the power and effect that he still had on her.

Meher walked away with her broken heart realizing theirs was a hopeless love story which started and ended with tragedy.