Originally posted by: sashashyam
Dear GManda,
As for Arjun choosing Archana to return the ring, perhaps it was because he though she would still be there in the Karanjkar residence after she had finished chewing him out, and that she would be returning to the Deshmukh residence immediately after. It is something that occurs to him on the spur of the moment, as he is looking at the tiffin carrier. He could not have handed it over to Teju when she met him at the garage, as he would not have been carrying it on him.
It was not the best choice, the best would have been Teju. as for returning it himself, the case against that has been made superbly by Laurie, earlier on this thread. In any case, there is hardly any compulsion on Archana to comply; she can always refuse to do it.
@ red. Well, if I had been Purvi's mother, then she would definitely NOT have acted 'like a scaredy cat". That, however, would have been because:
1) I would not have slapped her so hard, not let her get a word in edgeways, and then told her I did not want to see her face and she should go away.
2) I would NEVER have told her to choose between me and Arjun. This is the worst form of emotional blackmail, and effectively amounts to demanding abject obedience from Purvi, without ever asking her for her side of the story, as my parvarish ki keemat, like the doodh ki keemat that mothers in the old films used to demand to whip their sons into line.
3) I would not have glared at the shrinking girl every time I came face to face with her, and cross-questioned her with a harshness that would have done the Spanish Inquisition proud. I would not have snarled at her Kahaan gayee thi? with my eyes as hard as agates.
4) I would not, as Archana did today, have dragged Purvi to the door and saying that if she wanted to see Arjun so badly, she should go and stay with him? It reminded me of the old, melodramatic Indian films of the 60s and 70s, when erring daughters were dragged by their father and cast out of their home for having dared to fall in love with someone not chosen by their parents. To call it ugly would be a major understatement.
5) I would not go on repeating to Purvi that Arjun is going to fail,when all indications are to the contrary. If Purvi was not such an aai-worshipper, she would have started suspecting Archana's motives long since, and realised that Archana does not WANT Arjun to win.
6) Most important of all, I would have sat Purvi down on the very first day I saw her with Arjun, for a heart to heart talk, and then, if I had still been doubtful of Arjun's steadiness, I would have communicated that to Purvi calmly and in an affectionate and trusting manner. I would have empathised with the suffering she was going though, even if I felt that she was in the wrong.
Then, if I had not wanted Purvi to keep up the relationship with Arjun till matters were cleared up, I would have asked that of her, and she would have complied. Not out of the kind of petrifying fear that paralyses Purvi these days whenever Archana shows up, but willingly, out of love for the concerns of a mother who has taken the trouble to listen to her and to understand her feelings.
Let me, in conclusion, add just one thing. If your child behaves, as you put it so well, like a scaredy cat, then that is YOUR failure as a parent. It is NOT the child's fault. NEVER.
Shyamala B.Cowsik
Love Friendship Dating and Relationships
Bindi
