Okay I haven't posted about the serial in a long time now, but I am actually taking a lot of courage and putting down my thoughts today, with the hope that I won't be bashed.
Actually I liked what Manav did today. Maybe bcos what he said to Archu today was exactly my own thoughts about the situation- that Savita is wrong and this was not the right way to handle her.
Savita was wrong, agreed. But there was no good in trying to put a fight just then for the following reasons:
1.) Savita is unreasonable right now cos she is ill. When a person is unreasonable/biased/stubborn in a fight/debate, there is no point in putting up a fight cos you know even your reasonable words are not going to have any impact. At such times, a person should try to convince the person in front by taking lead from something he believes/ favours/supports, so that he/she cannot refuse later. (like convincing Savita to let them stay using Sachu's name) or scaring the person to accept whatever you are saying (like archu could have shut savita when she abused her after first marriage, by saying i will report to police-- right now this won't work)
Archana's yelling and shouting only ended up PROVOKING Savita more.
2.) I'm all for defending your parents- but it could have been done in a better way I feel. Savita is not the one going unnecessarily hating Archu's parents. Look at her situation first before accusing her as a hater. When a mad person shouts at you, there is no point defending right/wrong in front of her. Fighting only provokes them more. What Archu is doing is showing her nasty side to Savita and indirectly proving right Savita's fears- that she will take over the house- by again and again using dialogues like 'I'm Manav's wife and this is my right'. Sorry to say, but she is actually aggravating Savita's illness by increasing her insecurity- which was the root cause of her problem in the first place.
3.) Manav's approach was not completely right either. But I liked the way he convinced his Mom to let them all come into the house- he spoke sweetly and silently and made her see sense. That is what Archu needs to do. Shakkar pholosophy was always Archu's forte, and I'm really disappointed by the CV's that they are not making Archu use it this time. Honestly, this whole provoking thing SUCKS. Where was Archu's tongue all these days when Manav was insulted repeatedly? What was she doing when her parents had been repeatedly insulted. Why did she never count out her rights then? Of all times- Archana chose to voice out her rights TODAY- by fighting and shouting and defending against Savita, whose mental balance has gone for a toss and who has no clarity of things. I repeat, what Archu had said was absolutely right, if savita was fit and fine and she had said those same things and silenced her I would ahve clappped for her, but today this 'defending' actually made matters worse for her. Archana has chosen to speak up at the worst time is my opinion.
Savita's state everyone knows. She is not in the right state of mind right now. No one would have taken offence if she had accused them blindly, cos everyone knows her condition right now. Even Sulo dealt with her quietly by talking to her later. Look how Manav convinced her that their blessings would do good to Sachu. This was certainly a better way to handle the situation than the way Archana handled it. These all facts, told by debating and fighting and voicing rights, ARE NOT going to help the situation- calm and skilful handling is. Didn't Savita eventually let them all stay? Didn't she even accept the gifts? Why? Bcos Manav and Sulo handled the situation cleverly. I am all praise for Sulo today actually. Manju and Rasika's behavior was expected, bcos they have never had any sensitivity to understand anyone's situation in life. I honestly see no point in taking offence at the insult.
In psychiatry wards, patients insult doctors also bcos they don't want treatment. I know of one case when a patient hit the doctor. At that time doctors don't start defending themselves and debate unnecessarily- its a waste of time really and does no good to anyone. They either convince them to take medicines, come for treatment etc, by coaxing them and speaking calmly to them, asking relatives to convince them etc., or in extreme cases they shut the patient up in a few words (if medicine has to be given, then only). They don't debate unnecessarily.
All the same I have to give credit to Archu for one thing--- she didn't blame Savita for forgetting. She took it on herself. But the whole provoking thing was uncalled for. There was no need to say- "I'm Manav's wife and it is my right."- in these ways, she is increasing Savita's insecurity, nothing else. She should have said something lile--- "I invited them, cos Sachu would get their blessings' (just like Manav said.) Obviously Savita would have shouted back at her, but it would have been less provocatory, and Manav and the family would have backed her up as well.
I had felt that this whole track would be finally used to show Shakkar philosophy in a good light. This track was actually a way to make Archana shine by highlighting her good qualities- her sensitivity, her calmness, her maturity, her patience- all this would have come handy in taking care of a mental patient in the family. But Alas! What else can you expect from these CV's. The track is disappointing me more than ever. Manav ko to butcher kar hi diya hai, kam se kam Archana ko to butcher mat karo.
EDIT ADD:::::
Here I must add one point where I actually LOVED Archana today-- when she didn't take offence at the slap and didn't back answer Savita. I felt terribly bad for her but I was proud of her for not complaining- bcos she stepped into this herself. When you are taking responsibility of a mentally ill patient,. you must be ready for all the nasty things that come with it-- sudden temper flares, behaving out of control sometime, even abuses. Otherwise go and leave them in a hospital or somehwere where they will be better taken care of.
At the same time, keeping quiet won't help, otherwise tomorrow Savita might even try to burn her in rage. Archana must handle the situation cleverly and diplomatically in a way that Savita is also convinced and Archana also gets what she wants (like Manav did today-- by saying that Sachu will get the blessings if K family come in). Today Savita let her and Manav help and get involved bcos it was something related to Sachu whom she loves deeply. Manav and Archana shud continue to use THIS approach to get closer to her. But provoking, arguing and so on is a strict no no. The problem with Archu is she gets to both the extremes--- either stays quiet, or gets ekdum defensive and provocative. Both approaches are wrong. The first is self-destructive to Archu, second is not right to Savita. A diplomatic, calm handling of the situation is required. And I know it can be done, bcos I have seen people (not doctors) handling depressed, mental patients in this manner.
Edited by nikitagmc - 14 years ago
Kyunki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi 2
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