Originally posted by: Shruti_sh
Hi everyone but I'm sorry to come up with this "fake ID" to contact with you all. I also started to watch Maryada, CCBM, & PR and I wanted to vent out today.
PLEASE READ MY STORY:
I used to be a regular in IF some years ago (but not here, instead the Kiyunki forum). I hope I will be given the chance to say my story anonymously to people who might listen to my cry.
I used to be the typical "saas-bahu" serial loving girl who would fight for tulsi or mihir in the forums. Perhaps I were not so smart but I was happy! Truly happy, I smiled and giggled and cried on petty things. I have been my father's doll my mother's heart. I had a life, until I got married to this horriable man ...
He was an NRI and son of a family friend. I will not take too much of you people's time and come to the point:
They came, everything was good. Our investigation was not too intense due to the trust we had on our own people, and they always seemed OK from their behavior and basic information. The boy was mostly quiet, but I thought that maybe he is shy and things will get better after marriage.
After marriage we moved to Norway. And slowly I began to realize that these people have lots of complications. Unfortunately the biggest complication was with my ex-husband! He had another girlfriend (Norwegian), and gave no time to me. He seemed to be avoiding me, sometimes it used to be so irritating, but I had patience. But as soon as I knew about his affair it broke me. I didnt know how to disclose it to his parents or to my parents, but then more pain awaited me.
His parents knew all about it. They wanted an Indian "Bahu" for their home. While their "obedient" son was wildly in love with that "amazingly cold" woman who infact insulted me "FACE TO FACE" (so much for a woman to woman compassion or the humanity of Norwegians). Insulted me such (verbally) that I shivered back in my room for two days and nights.
As soon as I found out that his parents knew, I went through the most suffocating helpless period of my life. By this time my ex-husband had already shifted near his girlfriend, and surprisingly now he was bold enough to want to marry her. And what about me and my rights? Ofcourse, there was more to come for me.
When finally I had no option, even out of shame and pain I called my home. I couldnt share with my parents directly (call me coward). But I shared with my cousin sister who I am close to. She cried listening to my pathetic life and shared the information with my mother. My mother who brought me up with love, fed me her milk, whom I had always thought of my greatest support.
My MOTHER hid my story from my family for a considerable period (I was more shocked than anyone else). Infact cutting short - she knew about the "previous affair" of my to be husband with a certain GORI - but was assured that it was over and complete, and in such countries it is normal to have such a past. She was brought in confidence by many more such assurances, and the FAKE dream of my NRI life (filled with disgust). Such was her delusion that she had not only kept this matter a secret from the rest of the family but ALSO HER HUSBAND (my father, the only person in this whole world who I love).
Eventually when my father learnt of this matter, he wanted nothing else but me BACK TO HIM. After all the chaos, I was back to my father.
WHILE WRITING IT I HAVE SHED TEARS. I wanted to share this with the KIYUNKI family ... mere saat kya kya hua, main kiun nahi kisi se kuch share kar saki ... aur ab-bhi ek fake ID se share karrahi hoon ... yeh aap log shayad samjho ya nahi samjho ... but my message is that YOU CAN TRUST NO BODY, NOT EVEN YOUR MOTHER ...NO BODY!
Please dont marry anyone without PERSONALLY KNOWING HIM. Specially when it is an NRI.
The purpose of my writing here is basically due to my relation in IF, and my desire to vent out the acid which continuous to create waves in my heart.
A tortured soul,
Your friend.
(Please allow this post mods, even if you found I had a MID. I would be thankful if you do not investigate for the sake of my self respect. Of an Indian sister of yours).
i am so sorry to read all this and the fact that you had to endure all of this by your self. i cant tell you i know what you are going through cause i dont, i can only imagine your pain and betrayal.
i would tell you this piece of advice though, please from now on, take care of yourself first. you are your first priority. i hope you get past this, whether that me mending relationships with your mother, moving on with life , only you know the answer. it might not come to you right awy but you need to give yourself time to heal, and like i said, take care of yourself first.
you have been through alot, and this post is a good sign that you are on the right path, i would strongly recommend you talk with your friends, or your cousins , please do not bottle this up, it has been bottled up for too long, let it out. your health will deteriorate if you dont let it out.
we are here to listen and if you would like, feel free to pm and vent too! never feel that you are alone! sometimes talking to a sympethzing stranger is easier than talking to family cause you know yu will not be judged!
i am praying for you to bounce back from this and be a stronger woman! dont let this break you!
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