Aaj Ka PR Samachar (June 1st)
IN ENTERTAINMENT NEWS TODAY
Our entire investigative team is made up of ArMan fans and so while we are publishing this special edition, we have only gathered snippets of gossip and news for our avid readers today.
- Ekta has confirmed that Keshav Pandit is heading down to Bombay. Apparently, a lot of concern has been expressed by Shravani supporters who believe that all members of the "Shravani Hate Club" will be openly protesting at Manav's chawl today and Keshav Pandit, the defender of the underdog , has volunteered to come down and help protect Ms. Shravani Mahate. BT and the PR Creatives are very proud that "BT's Golden Girl" will be the protectee of such a macho mard and a welcoming committee is expected to greet him at the Maharashtra border this afternoon.
- The popular yellow and red gatbandhaan from the PR title montage and the bridal clothes of both Archana and Manav are being put up for sale. Madam Tusaad's Wax Museum has already put up an offer. The commemorative piece will be the centrepiece of their new display called "ArMan Heaven". The wax models will be dressed up in full bridal gear, however, Archana's hands and Manav's feet will be covered to spare the visiting tourists from the gruesome sight. Ekta Kapoor and Shravani will be presiding over the inauguration.
- We have learnt the reason for the couple's delay in attending their divorce proceedings. Apparently, they were in consultation on their first "Friendship Summit" and through unanimous consent they have decided on Las Vegas. Apparently, Manav was surprised because he was pretty sure that it was going to be Switzerland but Archana the movie buff told him to get real, apparently all the fairytale Yash Chopra movies are real downers and she was extremely impressed by her latest movie "What Happens in Vegas Stays in Vegas". We wish them all the best in their friendly endeavours.
- BT Telefilms is holding their anniversary bash and the Lokhandes, Manju and Mahates will be in attendance. Ekta is very happy that the D's and K's will not be attending as they are real party poopers. However, MacDonalds has decided to launch its Friendship Burger today and has picked the Dombivili suicide point as the special location for this event. The D's and K's have confirmed they will be in full attendance as apparently the site has emotional significance for them.
- Kaka has decided to go back to farming. He will be joined by Sav aai who has decided that she needs to do hard labour as penance for her role as master orchestrator in PR. Sav aai has volunteered to pull the plough (instead of the cow) in act of sheer remorse. Damodhar has decided to support his wife's decision wholeheartedly (after seeing the example of Manav's unquestioning support for Archana)
- In the absence of Sav aai, Archu will be supplying Manav and Shravani tiffin for a period of five months (2 months till delivery and 3 months after childbirth) . Shravani has grudgingly accepted on the condition that Manav act as taste tester. A menu for Archu is being prepared as we speak.
- Varsha has decided to consummate her relationship with Satish tonight (with no delay) because she is afraid that the Ashwin card may be used in a similar manner by Ekta in future.
- Archana and Manav have signed a contract with the Indian Army and the United States government to teach them their technique of carrying out telepathic conversations without having any ESP powers. Details on the contract are confidential at this point.
- The divorce court clerk's office has been filled with freedom of information requests re the ArMan divorce transcripts by avid PR fans. The clerk's office has decided that no new divorces or dockets will be processed until they have dealt with this influx of requests. The Indian government is looking to revoke the freedom of information act altogether. A motion will be introduced into the house tomorrow.
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Aaj Ka PR Samachar (May 31)
BREAKING NEWS – PAVITRA RISTHA BIDDING WAR
We have received confirmation from Ekta Kapoor herself about the ongoing bidding war being waged for the "ArMan" story. Apparently both the University of Bombay Law program and the Hallmark Greeting Cards are willing to pay top dollar for the exclusive rights to the story.
The University of Bombay Law program says that its students have been unchallenged with the recent case studies and they would like to infuse the curriculum with "ArMan" case study. A study will demonstrate the case of a Laila Majnu type married couple and their divorce appeal to the court. We initially wondered if the story was considered for the complexity or such other purpose but apparently this is not the case. The story is being told as a tale of caution to budding lawyers and judge hopefuls where the students will learn how to avoid taking on such cases. A variety of techniques will be taught on issue resolution i.e. faking illness, losing judge's gavel, lawyers and judges getting amnesia about case details or case law and thereby being excused from pronouncing judgement, considering the use of truth serum before securing laila and majnu's confessions/ opinions / statements, etc.
Hallmark Greeting Cards wants to use Archana and Manav as their poster couple for the "Sorry" category of cards. The titles being considered for these cards are "If I Only Had a Brain", "oh Baby Baby" "Really, Terribly Utterly, Sorry". The cards will also have a music option and the tune "aaaaah" from PR is being considered to add the right tone to the message. The message in the card will indicate I am sorry but at least I am not as dumb as these two.
In other news:
Rumours have also been heard about the new Friendship Burger that MacDonald's is planning on introducing this week. The burger will be dedicated to ArMan. The burger will essentially be a pav bhaji sandwich with a McChicken patty will be added in the middle. The pav bhaji is intended to represent Archana and Manav and the McChicken patty is intended to represent Shravani (kind of like a kabab mein haddi). They believe that sales will be motivated by the sentimental value attached to the burger for ArMan fans rather than the taste itself as seriously guys THAT SOUNDS GROSS EVEN TO MACDONALDS.
Apparently, two of BT's biggest problem viewers have taken on Supari on Ekta and BT. The intent is to make it look accidental but unfortunately the contract is pending due to shortage of adequate funds. An online campaign is being mounted as we speak.
The devotees at the Siddhivinayak temple are planning a morcha against Archana Manav because they think that they are giving a global message that Bappa devotees are lame-brained. Archana and Manav will also be banned for visiting the temple post-divorce as even the pujari is fed up of this drama. Also every time this useless couple come they bring their film crew etc with them and the temple is getting bad publicity. So mug shots of ArMan are being handed out to the cops at the entrance of the temple so that the parameter is secured.
The pav bhaji vendors are going on strike to protest the last date of ArMan. Apparently, till date pav bhaji was considered date food by Mumbaikars but since ArMan came into the picture it is being considered the "Last Supper". The pav bhaji vendors association has advised that they will be contributing to the online supari fund and they are issuing a nationwide call to all other street hawkers to do the same.
Hope's Editiorial
Lunch at the Ks
Guys that Sulo is good. She serves a big meal before she talks to people so that they are too satiated from the meal to be able to protest anything she says. That poor Manav looked stuffed. Bet you he only agreed because he wanted to get permission to sit down and rest his power overworked stomach muscles.
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Aaj Ka PR Samachar (May 28)
ENTERTAINMENT NEWS TODAY - Archana Manav Deshmukh Off to "Sweeten" Hollywood
Hollywood is in the era of remakes from "Nightmare on Elm Street" to the "A-Team". Hollywood talent scouts are always on the lookout for the next Hollywood darling and today our very own Archana Manav Deshmukh has won the prize. Archana is being considered for the remakes of "Six Degrees of Separation" (part previously played by Will Smith) and "The Hand that Rocked the Cradle" (part previously played by Sharon Stone). Apparently, the talent scouts were extremely impressed by her recent epi where she managed to show an inherent relationship to multiple characters on the show (none of whom are blood relatives i.e. Shravani, PB, Sav aai, chawl ladies, etc.). Her talent for developing these unbreakable bonds and life-long pavitra rishtas has Hollywood bowled over. The manner in which she has aggressively introduced herself as the honorary and totally unwanted caretaker of her husband's fianc and PB has shown that she will be very successful in playing the stalker personality in the Hand that Rocks the Cradle. However, Archana being the good gal that she is has given full credit to the CV's for this dramatic character development and so the CV's will be joining Archana as she sets off to "sweeten" Hollywood with pure desi shakkar. The Los Angeles Chapter of the American Diabetes Association is concerned and is on full alert, an anti-desi shakkar campaign is being planned.
We have learnt that Manav Deshmukh is concerned that that the separation may impact his plans of "Friendship" with our Archu. Sorry manav but that's the way the sugar cookie crumbles.
Ekta has been negotiating very aggressively to get in on this sweet deal but Hollywood producers are concerned by her penchant for ruining her own productions with her sadistic- psychotic relationship with cast and audiences. So they have politely declined the partnership, much to Ekta's dismay.
Shravani "BT's Golden Child" is very upset because she has worked so hard at developing her character as the "Pyaasi Atmaa" and felt she should have had first dips. So she and Ekta will be working on the remake of "Misery" (part previously played by Kathy Bates) and in a new twist, the role of the author (previously played by James Caan) will be replaced and the story line will now show Shravani torturing into submission two of BT's biggest problem viewers ( script indicates these characters will be called Gauri and Hope)
Hope's Editorial
Clothes washing scene
ok first and foremost let me say that I found this scene both cute and funny. So let's leave the cute part for my own internal reflections and focus on the funny part. What a lame-brained way to start a scene. Archu who has never in all the epis stood down at the lower balcony for silent reflection chooses to stand there so that she is available at the opportune moment to do Mannu's laundry.
Then up comes this neighbour who asks Manav where he has been. When he finds out that the Mannu has been job-hunting what does he say? NOTHING. Wow!!! No follow-up !!! No curiosity!!! NOTHING!!! Manav your life is really quite boring even for the chawl folks. So we wondered why he started the convo to begin with. Oh wait! because he was only placed in the camera frame so that Archu would have an opportunity to hear Manav. Ok Manav you should totally avoid such useless people who don't care to finish a convo that they started.
When Archu insisted on doing the laundry, Manav was very nervous and hurriedly gave her the bucket . Why? Guys, PHATTAK. The sound of the morning's slap is still resounding across the chawl. That's why. He was so afraid at this Kali like Archu who had just finished slapping Shravani. So he gave in and then so that the chawl people did not think he was a lallu (which OMG he so is) he proceeds to shake his head indulgently. Mannu we are not fooled. It's ok we were taken by surprise too when she whacked Shravani. But as Archu said she has learnt everything from you and this is her interpretation of the mandhir scene were you tried to mow down the innocent devotee.
Then when she reminds him people are watching, he says oh that's ok they are used to this and My QUESTION IS: Define "THIS". Are they used to seeing you washing your clothes or are they used to seeing you washing your clothes with women? Clarify, Clarify, please.
Then began the looks and the PR title song and my heart did a double dip. People, Archana Manav Deshmukh became one rich lady yesterday. A sudden and huge deposit was made in the COLLECTION OF MEMORIES FUND. At every look, I heard a definite KaChink!!! KaChink!!!! The memories coins kept dropping and for every smile there was a bonus coin. More KaChink!!! KaChink!!!! I wanted to make my contribution too but alas it would have disrupted the moment so I refrained. However, Archu is very upset that the memory coins are not legal tender and therefore she is only rich in the "virtual" sense. Too bad babe but that is ok Hollywood will fix that.
OMG I totally forgot the neighbour who was fascinated with the romancing worker bees. Yes, yes, she found the scene very romanchak and I wondered why? then it hit me like a lightning bolt. The clothes she was drying. If that was her wardrobe no wonder she was short on dates and no wonder she found this laborious interaction so exhilarating. Bless the Poor Dear. She needs a fashion consultant. We will try and see if we can sign her up for "Style By Jury". Guys she is so hard up for conversation, she started talking to the dude who left Manav high and dry just a few minutes ago. Predictably, he totally ignored her and she ended up talking to herself. The dude proceeded to polish his bike so vigorously I thought the paint would peel off.
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RECENT DEVELOPMENT ' Archana Deshmukh applies for "CONDITIONAL" DONOR CARD
We have recently learnt that Archana Deshmukh who has been very worried about the duress that she has put her Shravani through by her mere presence, has decided to apply for a Donor Card, however, the card is conditional on the recipient. Archana has insisted that Shravani and only Shravani will be the recipient of any donor parts. The offer is valid from the point of delivery and for the rest of her life. As delivery is expected in two months and the offer may need to be redeemed, Archu has made necessary arrangements with the pool boy at the Dombivili suicide point.
We were totally surprised by this news and decided to get the family's reactions.
Sav aai and Sulo aai were very vexed, now even Sulo does not understand this gal. These two sumdhan cum BFF were even considering approaching Rasika Tai (who apparently is the only person with her eyes wide open to the ludicrousness of the show ' to the point that it is extremely disturbing for all viewers now to see the protruding black pearls shining over the white ones on her neck) they have decided to consult with D and K families
All Karanjkars and Deshmukh siblings smilingly shook their heads at another one of their tai's unbelievable but oh so endearing antics
Kaka has decided this strain is too much for him he is going back to the farming
Manav is livid and has started doing more home improvements as his garage is sealed and he cannot go there for sanctuary. However, still firm on the divorce decision. Now actually he is beginning to see the sense behind his senseless act.
Damodar started crying. We asked why and he sobbingly said "I cannot believe that I spent the last three months severing my lifelong friendship with my bartender for this despot."
Shravani is beyond words. She is speechless. She has decided that she will not deliver pavitra bachcha so that the offer NEVER TAKES EFFECT.
The chawl ladies have decided this dog and pony show is too much for them, they have left to harass their own families. Archu apparently is punishment enough for all Deshmukhs.
We asked Sulo about intervention, she advised that the D and K families reached a sad but unanimous decision, they are totally bewildered by this mind-boggling decision of their saint-like daughter and have decided that all hope is lost that she will protect herself. So they have decided that the only solution to keep her safe is to send her to EKTA'S FUN FARM where this extra terrestrial imposter (defo not their old Archu) will be analyzed to get a better understanding of her base operating system and foundational program. Once this discovery is made an antidote will be developed. Ektamata ki jai jo!!!!
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Aaj Ka Samachar Patra (May 24)
BREAKING NEWS - MANAV DESHMUKH APPOINTED AS INDIAN HOSPITALITY AMBASSADOR
We have the inside scoop on this brand new development. Apparently, the Indian Tourism ministry has been on the search for a hospitality ambassador to promote India in North America and Europe. While the head hunters have been busy scouring for such a personality, the Minister of Tourism's wife had suggested Manav Deshmukh for sucha role and after seeing latest epis of PR, the decision was made and is now irrevocable.
In supporting the decision, the Minister pointed out the reasons for selecting Mr. manav Deshmukh - His smile (apparently a huge amount of Indian women are fiddah over the shy smile and find the dental derailment behind it quite endearing) and MOST IMPORTANTLY his desire to please people he considers his FRIENDS. They have been impressed at how he has willingly and with no external instigation undertaken home improvements (rassi tying scene), housekeeping (laying the bedding for friend in kitchen scene) and of course let us all not forget the overall hospitality (serving sherbet to ladies at wedding even serving sherbet to die hard enemies i.e. Ajit) and finally his respect for traditions (doing kanyadaan without being a dad, taking major loan while being unemployed, etc. etc.) ALL FOR HIS FRIEND.
So efforts are now on at the Ministry in full swing to promote Mr. Manav Deshmukh. Public engagements being considered are special appearances at Miss Universe, Miss World and of course Miss India. However, we have been told that wife to be shravani is very concerned because she knows of his penchant for going above and beyond in assisting his FRIENDS, so to appease her, Manav will be taking boxes of rakhis to tie on the hands of any FRIENDS he meets at these events. This has pleased shravani because she knows that he is a lot less aggressive in his desire to please sisters (i.e. allowing sisters to remain with rapist husbands and take daily abuse, only giving angry glares but not really following up with any action).
Now that Mr. and soon to be Mrs. Deshmukh's concerns are both appeased, promos of the new ambassador will commence next week. Manav has assured his fans that the remaining two hours of his day where he is not shooting for ZNKD and PR will be allotted to the Ambassador work. he is so happy with this new development (especially in the light of his upcoming divorce and subsequent remarriage) that sleep has totally eluded him now. The man is completely on autopilot. His mom is pleased because her son will finally get to go on his first viman trip totally free of cost.
Aaj Ka PR Samachar - May 20
DUMBEST COMMENTS OF ENTIRE EPI:
Sulo aai tells Varsha " Bappa will take care of you" ' OMG Manav looked at her incredulously. He was thinking Aai why are you giving her this failed formula. Arre I believed you when you told me this but seriously, we all know that Bappa is not the solution in PR. Tell her to trust her husband. Did you learn NOTHING from my upcoming divorce? OKAY READ MY LIPS ' TELL YOUR DAUGHTERS TO TRUST THEIR HUSBANDS NOT BAPPA BECAUSE THEY ARE MARRIED TO THEIR HUSBANDS NOT BAPPA.
Manohar baba tells BA " You are intelligent, you will make the right decision - OMG Stupid Stupid Man. Can you not see that this woman has already acted as Judge and Jury against your daughter. She has insulted your daughter, your SIL who you consider a son (please let us all not forget the 3 lakhs and the serving of sherbet) and of course your wife. Again, your advice should be - Tell her to trust her husband. An impartial party. Don't place your trust on the most biased person in the room. Buddha satya gaya hai, kya kare? His wife, three daughters and Manju have sucked all the grey cells out of this man with their constant schemes and drama. Poor Poor dude.
MOST CLEVER COMMENT IN ENTIRE EPI:
All Satish's comments to Varsha
Urmila's support of her sleazeball. Guys when I saw her telling him c'mon Ashu., it hit me like a bolt of lightning. ZAP, ZAP, ZAP ' THAT'S WHERE THE PANTS IN THE FAMILY ARE. Wow she is not as coy as she looks. Good for you Urmila. Ashwin, you suave suave harami, who even I find very very interesting (shameless that I am) you are going to get the biggest boot of your life. This woman is going to drag your butt naked to divorce court and then take you for every penny that you have and when you are kangal, you no longer be so suave (or we hope desperately) and then you will no longer be attractive to women. Wow Mission Accomplished.
MY FUNNIEST THOUGHTS ABOUT PR TODAY WHERE ALL ABOUT ARMAN:
Thought 1 - Godhbarai
Guys, Godhbarai is coming up and it will be a bigger CRY FEST than Varsha's biddai. I guess all of next week will be this one event only.
I don't know if I can take it. Imagine in manav's dream only 4 people were crying. after godhbhari, these four people will be accompanied by all karanjkars', all chawl people.
Hell even the dhoban, the tarkari wala, the dudhwala and any other vendors in the neighbourhood will cry. they might even have Thane bundh that day. police will need to be called for mob control. Archu will become like Amitabh in the picture Sarkar (my fav by the way!!!) Only happy people will be the rickshawalas and the community lawyers that will be taking on the divorce, as business will be thriving.
Thought 2 - Manav Sulo Hug
Guys when I saw Manav hugging Sulo I felt so bad for HIM. He gave her the biggest bear hug he could. HE NEEDED IT GUYS. He really need this hug. You see guys, Shravani has only given him permission to hug aunties and vandu. all other woman are off limits. defo archu Poor Manv.
But you see, whenever you get all supportive of an emotional woman, you have to prepared for the consequences. She will not only lean on you for support BUT WILL ALSO SEEK COUNSEL. Ahah. THERE THERE IS WHERE MANAV'S PROBLEM BEGINS. Arre he cannot fix his own problems how can he fix Sulo's (especially when HE IS ALSO ONE OF SULO'S PROBLEMS ' IT IS CONFLICT OF INTEREST GUYS, TOTAL CONFLICT). Anyways, I laughed so much when I saw the hug. He did not know how to comfort her so he turned to his BEST FRIEND AND HELPER, OUR DARLING ARCHU. She tried poor thing but she has her own problems. Well, guess what he picked the wrong person for passing the parcel, so the PARCEL CAME BACK. Then he was careful NOT TO GIVE A HUG. He was so afraid that if he did SHE MIGHT NEVER LET GO. Poor Manav he already has two women hugging him all the time, how I ASK YOU HOW, can he even think of taking on another. Guys, he almost peed his pants in gratitude when a much more experienced and older male, his FIL stepped in to counsel and calm the inconsolable woman. He was so grateful he would have borrowed another 3 lakhs at that moment and thrown it at his FIL. All as gifts. NO INTEREST NO LOAN. Manav, learnt an important lesson today when a woman cries, drop whatever you are doing and run in the opposite direction. Do not hesitate for even a second and do not turn back.
PS: I almost jumped out of chair in total shock when I heard Manav raise his voice while defending Varhsu to BA. I thought OMG maybe I should restart this video I think they put on a different show update not PR. Then I realized Savita gave him temporary license to speak.
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Aaj Ka PR Samachar (May 10)
Ladies and Gentleman our investigative team has indeed been very busy raiding PR offices this weekend. We have accumulated some juicy and romanchak tidbits that we are very excited to share
Samachar 1
Guys, a source close to the BT house has advised us about a recently adverted stirke involving the PR Creative Team. Apparently, the PR Creative Team had been tasked with transforming both Savita's and Manjusha's charachters into Shakkar reformees. While the former was a pleasure to undertake the latter has been a major point of contention for the CV Team as they claim the characther lacks the necessary capacity and intrinsic values necessary and this resulted in a strike postion last Friday. We are pleased to announce that a compromise has now been reached and characher of Manjusha IS BACK - over very own kamini personality true to her Lokhande genes. As a compromise, Ekta has allowed them to push Archana's character beyond the limits of rationale and sanity as business intel has advised that Archana has a very strong fan base that will not be dissuaded even if her charachter is developed in an manner that goes beyond the realms of reality.
Samachar 2
We have learnt that not only is Girishji influential in moneylending circles but he also has strong telecommunications contact. Using these contacts he has hacked into Manav's cell phone and installed his face as a screensaver. this program cannot be overriden by the user. Now whenever manav gets soft feeling for Archu and his resolve wavers all he has to do is look at his cellphone and reason will prevail. Shravani has filled out the customer satisfaction survey on Manav's behalf and submitted it to the cellphone provider with a VERY SATISFIED review.
Samachar 3
Our investigative team gained entry into Manav's room while his bodyguard (aka Archu) had gone shopping with baba and retrieved the pills the doctor prescribed, You see we were very concerned when the doctor diagnosed Manav with viral fever and then gave him a prescription as our medical experts had advised us that there is no cure for viral fever. the only thing to do is take over the counter tylenol or crocin and keep the temp regulated.
So of course we knew dal mein kuch kala tha? what was the prescription. Our labs have confirmed that it is high quality steroids. confirmation has been received in mannu boy's actions today. less than 24 hours after suffering from 103 degrees fever he is now ready to resume the family business . 3 cheers for Indian doctors. They are a credit to the Hypocratic Oath.
Samachar 4
Guys, Sav aai has really and truly fallen in love with archu. She is very concerned at seeing her reaction today about the godhbharai so she took a quick peek in the kitchen and low and behold her suspicions were confirmed. yes guys, yes, she found the unthinkable - she found a joint. phew!!! as you can tell she is very relieved because she can now understand her darling beti's behaviour. she is planning an intervention tomorrow at 3. All Archu fans are invited. Please be advised Manav is unaware of the joint or the intervention and Sav aai who also loves her son very much would like us to be discreet so that her son continues to believe that Archu's guiding force is Mahaan Love.
Samachar 5
we have recently learnt that Multi-Purpose Tarun and Multi-talented Archana will be entering into a joint venture. Tarun will act as a the caterer and financier and Archu will act as an event planner. A brochure is being developed. All Archu fans will be happy to learn that this track is deemed to have a lot of post-divorce potential for Archu (as per CV's). Archana will be undertaking ALL DESHMUKH FAMILY EVENTS, including Godh Bharai, Manav's Future Weddings (??), AaI Baba's Anniversary, Kaka' Future Wedding, etc in attempt to build up her portfolio. Archu we wish you all the best. Some people do not need an education or a job when they have enterpreniual and a philantrophic spirit.
Samachar 6
We have also recently learnt that two online transactions have been made by Shravani and Sav aai independently. Shravani has placed an order for two dolls and some pins (very curious) - both orders also had curious reference names i.e. '"buddhiya and ms. nautanki". I wonder what that was about. Also Sav aai ordered a pregnant doll and some pins. Ahem Ahem. Well, we wanted to play double agent and inform both parties of the others transactions but CV's have requested us to hold off on this as it might kill the entertainment in future track. In return HHH Inc, will be given first dips on future scoops of PR. Hehehe too bad my SBS and SBB friends. Too Bad. Maybe next time.
Also in Other News:
- Chotu has submitted a Thank You note to the Deshmukh Board of Directors for his recent promotion
- Rickshaw drivers are expressing grave discontent as the influx of business expected was not received and a hartal is being considered in front of Manav's chawl. Kamina Ajit Lokhande has advised that he will bring the microphone and provide necessary financing required to support the rights of his friends the rickshaawalas. He would also like to gain some much needed postive popularity to throw in his drunk FIL face
- Refunds will shortly be issued to ticket holders of the ping-pong tournament. Organizers have confirmed that the rescheduled event will be viewable free of charge.
Aaj Ka PR Samachar (May 7)
Yesterday was an emotional epi and I was sure that all the manav girls were on such an LSD high yesterday from seeing him so sick like a dog and crying for wifey and dreaming happy thoughts that I said why should I act like an undeserved shot of caffeine. But it is with great pleasure that I have to say that ALL Manav girls are now cured from this addictive sudden adrenaline rush. the dope has left the system and we are now seeing the world with clear, pristine eyes again. Thanks to Girishji who came on time and gave each one of us and even Manav a dose of Visine. THANK GOD!!
Guys, it is confirmed, the BT spies are among us. they are scoping around for talent and ideas on PR Forum that they can use for commercial gain. yesterday I was approached by BT head hunters who have been reading my wicked posts. they liked the inspiration post and said they had an idea. You see apparently all these ArMan fans are just hanging around at the studio and they feel really bad that they cannot use these people for a commercial venture. So they now have any idea in between shots they would like to conduct PR Life Skills Courses for these PR fans. The cast will be the instructors and I am to devise the course materials so this are some of the courses that I have suggested.
1) How to be a Blindly Supportive Dad and Raise Delinquent Children -Instructor : Girish Sir aka. Meduvada
2) How to Gain Political Success by Mastering the Art of Flip Flopping - Co- Instructors: Manav and Savita Deshmukh aka. Insaaniyat Baba and Buddhiya
3) How to be a Successful Swinger - Instructor: Ashwin aka. Suave Harami. Special Note: Techniques shown her have successfully tried in Paapi Desh Amreeka. So international training can be claimed by participants.
4) 'How to be good at Anger Management' – instructor Archana (Shravani and Savita should be pre-enrolled for this course). (Special request by my co-creative talent Arien)
Each course will include a workshop where PR scenes reflecting course theme will form case studies. As a promotional offer, Ist batch of graduates will be asked to participate in two special events. the boys will participate in Shravani's swayamvar and girls will participate in Ashwin-Ajit Virgin Fest. CV's are desperate for a partner for Choo to resolve the Archu-Manav-Choo track. At this time Archu will be kept away as we fear that she might volunteer to marry the successful graduate instead of shravani out of Insaaniyat for Choo and Her Manav.
Sorry Manav we would have made it a virgin fest for you but buddy we want the girls to go home happy and your hopeful glances ain't cutting it. these girls have worked hard and they need more than your puppy dog looks. they need candlelight dinners, gold, roses, etc.
Akash, a special invite is being sent to you for particiation in Shravani's swayamwar.
They will next be contacting Kool for copyrights to certain trademark names like BUNFACE, MISS Shakkar, Chubby Face, Nail Biter,etc. etc. Nikki, they also mentioned that this story of PR is draining on actors and audience so when they do the punjabi version they are interested in purchasing your FF PR Reloaded. Congrats to all the talented folks out there,. keep it up./
Samachar 1 -
Ladies and Gentleman we apologize that due to public health issues and technical difficulties (i.e. Manav's illness) the ping-pong tournament was cancelled yesterday but I am pleased to announce that the ping-pong tournament will be in full blast on Monday. Rickshaws in the Dombivali-Thane area have been alerted about the sudden influx of business to be provided shortly by Miss Shakkar and possibly by confused Deshmukh and kasranjkar family members.
Samachar 2
Guys, as a result of the ping-pong tournament it is expected that Manav's health might worsen. Ambulance services have also been put on alert as with the absence of Miss Shakkar TRUE PROFESSIONAL help might be required.
Samachar 3
That being said, with Mr. Manav out of commission and the garage reopening soon, it has been determined by the Deshmukh Board of Directors that interim Management needs to be put in place. So it is decided by unanimous vote that our beloved " Chotu" will be promoted to Garage Manager and our very own Miss Shakkar will temporarily step into Chotu's shoes to do odd jobs in the garage. However, before she becomes head apprentice she will be given a crash course because as we all remember she was totally clueless the last time and when Manav baba asked for a "pana" she gave him her hand. the last thing we want happening is her hand getting cut off because then she will end up in hospital with Mannu and this time Choo will insist on coming in for an early C-section just so that she can keep an eye on them.
Well that's this edition of the daily. will see you again same time tomorrow.
Funny observations from yesterday's epi:
a) I felt funny seeing Baba ask for a special veggie dish. Did he not know that this was not possible the cook was leaving town? Contract khatum.
b) Aarti's update read that Archu put a hot towel on Manav after she found out he had a temperature. i thought to my self the dumb girl is going to kill him. you do not put hot towel you put cold compress idiot. So I was very revealed to see the actual video to find out that Aarty had obviously never nursed anyone with a fever before.
c) Who the hell gives a body massage to someone with a fever? the fever symptoms are extreme tenderness of muscles and joint pains. A massage would cause more pain than give comfort.
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Aaj Ka PR Samachar (May 5)
Today, Today, PR TOTALLY TOTALLY INSPIRED me. I had a show and awe moment.
I can now understand what all those people who got light-bulb moments like Archimedes and Aristotle felt when they unraveled a successful formula or principle. Guys, watching PR felt like going to a self help convention by Tony Roberts.
So here is this unbeliveable inspiration that I got today.
How to Play God with a Human's Touch OR How to Think "Idiot" to Gain Success
Ok, First you find a bunch of simple-minded folks with an obvious or even latent "dimwit" gene (Sulo, Archu, Vandu, Varshu (OMG NOOOOO) , then find a past transgression (unknowing party to extra-maritial affair), association (bad luck getting photographed escaping a brothel while rescuing a damsel in distress )or incident (unwilling party to attempted rape) which is so obviously insignificant and use your persuasive and hypnotic abilities (RA, Ajit, Ashwin) to create a "FEAR FACTOR" situation (totally disproportionate to the act itself) and derive personal success through the destruction of ordinary happy lives. Wow, Eureka.
Guys, i am going to go to work and try this formula/ strategy on my colleagues. You see I work with about 200 people. Probabilities are that at least 10% have the dimwit gene. Of those 10% I probably do not like at least 10% so I think I can find success by embroiling these poeple in Fear Factor situations and use the favours that they are going to grant me out of fear of disclosure of their insignificant workplace transgresion to climb up the pyramid of success. When I am successful I will write a self -help book and become a millionaire. then I will have followers who want to emulate my succesful strategy.
You think I won't have followers, well I will prove it to you. See Archu has been using the Shakkar strategy it has worked beyond hers and everyone else's expectations. it has influenced and touched so many people that today we saw her first follower Dam baba trying his pilot project on Ajit, the kamina jamaai. Guys, he was so nervous because you know he has yet to master the entire art of Shakkar so he was hesitatingly trying out the strategy in a place where no one else would know - THE MEN"S ROOM.
I bow down to the creative Creatives of PR that have shown me this path to commerical and personal success. So guys as I said "Shock and Awe" - Shocked at how ludicarous the CV's have made this beautiful show and in awe of my own abilities to derive inspiration from their ludicarous plot and charachters. Wah Wah Hope. Pat on back guys, pat on back
other interesting observations
- Manav was so influenced by the responsibility of doing Kanyadaan that he has gone straight from the newly wed camp to the Senior Citizen Camp. he was the only person standing with Dam baba and Manohar Baba today and was not just standing them he was involved in deep deep conversation. Wow - Archu take the divorce babe and go home there is ABSOLUTELY NO prospect of "ahum ahum" here even after reunion.
- If you totally removed the kamina gene from Ashwin and Ajit, OMG those are too really well practiced lover boys. they know how to use technique, charm and an agressive passion in courting a girl . Mannu / Satish kuch toh sikho yaar in dono se. While Ashwin and Ajit are both loverboys they are in two different leagues. Ashwin is like the "Johnny Walker Blue Lable brand" - foreign mal, exclusive and sophisticated while Ajit is like a desi daru brand - cude, cheap and home-brewed but still serves its intoxicating purpose. Poor Ajit he is not lucky enough like Ashwin. he has only been to HongKong not Amreeka. Ashwin gets his cheap thrills from seducing intelligent girls (Urmi and Varshu) while Ajit gets his cheap thrills from bedding naive submissive desi virgins (Vandu and that dimwit friend of Archu- remember her??) Dekha class ka mala hai, hai na?
- The ping-pong tournament is back on and ladies and gentleman it is time to serve the "Archu" ball again. Tomorrow our dear Archu will leave and day after tomorrow she will be back. At this rate she is going to collect frequent flyer miles or maybe frequent rickshaw miles.
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Aaj KA PR Samachar (May 4)
Quick comments. Today seriously was my day for divine revelations in PR. My eyes are opened and I can now see and understand all the wacko stuff happenign in PR Land. Wow it's almost like Mumbai has been changed overnight to never never land. All we are missing is Peter Pan. Oh wait that's who Vaishu's boyfriend will end up being.
Revelation 1
Finally, finally I understand the weird RA-BA relationship. The former is a khandaani rich person and the latter is what we call in the west nouveau rich. Kind of like kennedy vs hiltons. BA does not love RA she has an inferiority complex and tries to overcome it by hanging around RA. BA has failed on so many counts as a society woman, she has no dress sense, she is not intelligent enough to be manipulative (proof lies in all the innane competitions that she creates- like seriously pani puri and sari shopping - and in all of these inspite of usign the saas trump she still cannot win. But today, today guys she failed the litmus test. What do society women do best? Throw a party.
Seriously guys, she has to be like the worst hostess in the world. Is this a party or a multi-theme conference. there is a bar with no bartender just some snooty waiter, and a party with no music or entertainment - no wonder people are walking around aimlessly doing marriage counselling, financial deals, legal counselling, indecent proposals, etc.
Arre has she learnt nothing from Rasika - even rasika knew that to have an interesting event you need to have hangama - the guests are to be used to derive this hangama. Rasika organized lavni, couples dance, in-laws insult session all in the spirit of entertaining her guests. This bhavna is totally useless having such interesting and novel charachters like RA, Ajit, Sav aai, Choo, Ashwin and the gossiping meddlesome women friends in one function and she cannot use them for a dance or skit or debate or something like that. Total fool. All she does is hangs around poor Varsha who seriously does not like this woman. Arre if you cannot learn from RA atleast learn from Karanjkars when they could not find professional dancers they used Vaishu to entertain the guests.
Revelation 2
Guys At first I was shocked at Archu. totally totally shocked and then it hit me hard thanks to this english movie I saw - she is not longer human - this is a robot impersonator with the shakkar philosophy programmed as her base operating system. She hates her self for doing all these unebeliveable ridiculously surreal mahaanta deeds to choo and sav and manju but she just cannot help herself.
I think we have been placing the wrong bet so far i.e. divorce or no divorce. I think with the way Sushant is acting up these days the bet as far as Archu goes should be divorcee or widow. What the hell was he thinking knowlingly endangering his health and safety for something as vain and immature as improving his image for the sake of a fan base that is already hopelessly enamoured by his charms and looks??
Revelation 3
Vandu is now officially a victim of Stockholm Syndrome. No other explanation why else would she want to back to RA;s house? Sav should not accept her kasam. promises from people with compromised mental abilities are worth kachra.
Revelation 4
manav is now truly scared of the Karanjkar women's investigative abilities and honing beacon. that sulo and archu are amazing no matter how the guy tries to hide stuff or find private venues for his conferences they always find him and learn the truth. Truly scary stuff. these two are very good.
Kyunki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi 2
Iss Pyaar Ko Kya Naam Doon
