⭐️Mission Unite ArMan⭐️
All right people here is the next of my crazy writings, with the sole idea of instilling some fun in the forum.
Things started from the point when we chatties at Kools Commentary were chatting about the 'divorce bet', to which I said that even if Archana Manav get divorced, I won't let Manav get married to Shravani. I even said that I would pull him out of the mandap like Sulochana, proclaim him to be mentally unstable, kidnap him and throw him into Archu's lap.
The silly joke however was welcomed warmly, with Tanya Di and other members even outlining a whole plan as to who will do what during the kidnapping. And later, I thought, why not develop it for everyone to enjoy???
This one is dedicated to the regular chatties at Kool's commentary- Kools, Fifi (PRnerd) Tanya Di, Tulsey, gaurimisha, Deni (addenise) Mansi, Hope (stillhopeful), Akash and Ali. (I am sure there are many more, but have included these many as of now, cos they were the people present in the discussion that day. Guys, have tried to incorporate whatever little I know of you from your posts.. and as you will all recoginse-included snippets of our daily chatting. I hope no one minds a bit of fun.
Enough of my blabbering, I hope you guys like the kidnapping of the century!
👏Manav's Kidnapping- Mission Unite ArMan👏
Venue: A room at Ladies Hostel, J.J. Hospital Campus, Mumbai
(Scene): A very dirty room with lots of books, pics of Sushant and Rajeev and soft toys- the only thing which has been kept reverently is a laptop on the table.
Tanya Di, Fifi, Gauri Deni Mansi Tulsey and Hope are conversing with Niki.
Fifi: This room is worse than a doghouse! Alright ladies, so who wants a cuppa coffee? Am kinda tired after the long flight from Trinidad.
Gauri: Fifi, no time for coffee, we haven't come so far for coffee, we have to plan about tomorrow! Tanya Di, you start!
(Tanya Di stands up, she is wearing a T-shirt with a 'I hate Shravani' sign on it!)
Tanya Di: Ladies, as we all know, my poor girl Archu has been divorced, and she is lonely- now I want her to move on in life- finish job, education and get a good guy like Satish.. and get away from that Manav Deshmukh's life.. let that shameless man suffer with Shravani and his sasur who sold him that dodgy garage..
Niki: Tanya Di, but yesterday you said you will come to India to unite ArMan??? You were pleased with Manav yesterday cos he shed a tear for Archu.
Tanya Di: That was yesterday, now after today's episode, I don't want Archu to go back to him. He dressed up so nicely for the wedding with Shravani!!! How dare he??? If he had decided to get married in some fatichar clothes with big big stains on them then I would have been happy.
Hope: Arey silence Tanya, promo nahin dekha kya- Manav gave Archana a nice gift and cried before getting married to Shravani.
Tanya Di (pleased): Really? Then I think I like Manav- he is such a sweetu, he looks so good while crying? he divorced Archu and made me win my bet- darling he is!!
(Everyone bursts into tears, Hope and Tanya Di give a hi-fi)
Deni: Ha ha ha? you're emotional turnabouts will continue, Tanya Di, we need to outline the strategy.
Tanya Di: Okay, so tomorrow Shraavani gets married to Manav and we will kidnap him from the mandap.
Niki: Yayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! If this plan is successful I shall write my next short story on this!!!
Tanya Di: If the plan is successful??? Arey it will be 100% successful- who wants to bet plan will be successful or not???
Gauri: Me! Me!
Hope: Be logical, guys! What if we get caught?
Tanya Di: I'm counting on you to drive us out of there very fast, Schumacher!
Gauri Di: If we get caught, I and Niki will bail everyone out- don't forget we are the best lawyers of IF!!
Deni: Ha ha ha.. bring it on gals!
Niki: What about Archu, what if she slaps us like she slapped Varshu? I don't wanna be slapped!
Tanya Di: I also feel bad, we will drug her and bring her in unconscious state, Tulsey, you shall be taking care of her.- she wont be able to do anything then- later I will slap myself- slap! Slap! Slap! Who wants to bet whether Archu will be angry with all of us or not! Niki: Oh please Tanya Di, no more bets.
Tanya Di: Hmmm.. what's left?
Mansi: Shall I play the Ram Ram Raja Ram song?
Tanya Di: Not a bad idea at all! Yeah Mansi you do that!!!
Everyone- So we are set!!!
*********************---------------*************************
Venue: Girishji's house
Scene: Preparations for wedding are going on.. everything is set- Tanya Di and Hope are roaming about in the wedding.
Tanya Di: Seeing the wedding preparations, I'm missing my hubby!
Hope: I'm missing him too? I mean, I'm missing my own hubby!!
Mansi: Dedicated wives missing their husbands, shall I play Ram Ram Raja Ram???
Hope: Not right now.
Tanya Di: I hope everything goes as per plan.. uh-oh, look who we have here!
A strict lady is supervising everything and testing the mike for the function ahead.
Hope: Who is that???
Tanya Di: Didn't you hear her, instead of saying 'check mike-one two three- she said 'Kools reporting from base'. Do you wanna bet its Kools from I-F?
Hope: Grrrr.. Tanya , no betting!
(Both of them approach her slowly)
Tanya Di: Namaste ji, aap kiski side se hain???
Kools: Look at me carefully, civilian, this is Hitler kools. Do I look like the Meduvada or the Pyaasi Atma? No na! Then how can I be from girl's side? Buddhu! Do I talk like a duffer? No na.. then how can I be from the Duffer Khandan side?
Tanya Di: You forgot the Sanskari Ullus!
Kools: (pleased): Do you read my commentary? Please press like button if you like it only, and comments even if you don't! Hey who are you by the way?
Hope : Ago Kools Haav Hope ! Koshe asa tu ? Hanga businessak aayla ?
kools : Maka kitle bore disle tuka polun Hope ! Haav Mogal Amreekensun Mogal Mumbai aayle ..........Haav kitle mhonun Mumbai Miss Korta kite sangu ! { Sob]
Tanya Di: As usual, I didn't understand anything! (don't worry Tanya Di, we're all with you)
Tanya Di: Kools, I'm Tanya, recognize me??
Kools: Finally we will be getting that much-in-demand MAnav blasting from you Tanya- go for it!!! Shubh Muhurat hai, this bigamous, shoddy responsibility taker will come in a few minutes- AAJ HO JAYE!!! It will be FUN!
(uh-oh no, Tanya di, thought, Manav supporters yahaan bhi mere saath saath aaye hain.)
Hope: Why are you here Kools?
Kools: Looking out for Insaaniyat Baba's chelas and Pyaasi Atma haters- they will definitely come here to create trouble. You see, now that Manav has committed, he MUST get married to Shravni- who told him to go on the insaaniyat trip- now let him get married, nurse the pavitra baccha and get RAPED every night!!! Bechari Pyaasi Atma- she kept her head on my shoulder and cried- no one understands me as well as you do, Kools Tai!!! Now I will make sure this wedding will happen!! I will not let that Chauvinist man and his supporters ruin the wedding!! By the way, why are you two here?
(Tanya Di and Hope give an uncomfortable smile.)
************************_____________________**********************
Venue: (gate outside wedding hall)
(Scene: Baaraat is coming. Niki, Gauri and Deni are in the baraat. Deni and Niki are dancing)
Gauri: Hey, stop dancing, I've got a lot at stake tonight with one more bet up my sleeve! Why are you girls dancing??
Niki: I haven't been to a wedding since AGES!!! I need to dance! And today my Manav will be free, free, free- we MUST rejoice!!! Oh great!! Deni wht is this dance that you are doing!!!
Deni: Hey, I can't get these Hindi lyrics, gotta ring up my BF and ask him to translate.
Mansi: This is some great music, I'm in a musical mood too.. shall I play Ram Ram Raja Ram???
Niki: Puhlease, I need to dance right now!!
Tanya Di and Hope come outside.
Hope: the Hitler is here!!!
Deni: Ha ha ha! Great, we love her commentary!!
Niki: OH wow, now I and Kools can debate in front of Manav.. we always wanted such a face to face session. Manav will come to know how much I fight for him.
Tanya Di: She's here to whack you left right and centre-BEWARE!!!
***************_________________******************
(Venue: Mandap in front of the fire)
Scene: Manav is looking like a dead body. Slowly he is about to put sindoor on Shravani's forhead)
Nahhhhiiiiiiinnnnnn!!!
Gauri comes forward and whacks the sindoor out of Manav's hand. Manav yelps loudly!!!
Gauri: This is in memory of Sulochana, who did it so well last time!!!
Manav: AAAOOOO!!!! You girl, what did you do, my hand hurts? you've probably fractured my hand? AAAAAAAAAAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!
Kools: Now you sound like a wolf from a horror film- wolf and Pyaasi Atma- a perfect match!!!
Gauri: This marriage cannot happen- the patient is an imbecile, mad, not in right state of mind!!!
Girishji: Who are you to declare it???
Gauri: Aja..aja.. sunati hun tujhe iski pagalpantiyan- you cannot win from me- I'm the best lawyer after all!! You damaad is kadka, mentally unstable.. and ?
Manav: ..and now handicapped for life.. AAAAAAAAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!
Mansi: Now can I play Ram Ram Raja Ram?
SSHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Gauri: See what I said! Pagal hai yeh insaan! Do do minute mein apna decision change karta hai, kabhi Archu ko sindoor kabhi Shravani ko sindoor! Short term memory loss hai ise!!
Upar se Shravani pe kitna chillata hai.. Shravani ko pyaar se dekhta bhi nahin.. Shravani ne mujhe apna dukhda sunaya..
Shravani: Maine sunaya.. kab sunaya..???
Gauri: Archu pe chillane ke beech mein sunaya.
Niki: Is insaan ko kissi ladki se shaadi nahi karni chahiye- yeh Insaaniyat Baba hai, Himalaya pe hi khush rahenge, kand-mool-fal khake. Apni beti ki chinta hai toh is-se shadi mat karwao.
Girishji: Arey yeh kya!!! Kya ho raha hai!!!
Niki: (Examining Manav): Emergency.. emergency.. haath mein gehri chot.. kuch bhi ho sakta hai.. jaldi se ambulance mein dalo ise?
Niki pulls Manav by the legs.. Deni pulls his hair.. Tanya Di and Gauri pull his arms and together they lift him.
Manav: AAAAAAAAAAOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!! BACHAO!!!
(The guests are shocked, voices are rising now)
Hope runs to the car.
Hope: Hey where's Fifi???
She finally finds her hogging at the food stalls.
Fifi: Ladies, I don't hog, I was just having my evening tea- you need it to make plans and come with good one liners you see.
Hope : Stop it, Fifi, we need to rush!
Fifi: Oh, the plan is done, of course it had to succeed- afterall, we had begun with coffee- as they say 'Well begun is half done'. Just thinking about Shravani's horror-mones now!!! They will be on such a rise!! Did you have a look at the Meduvada's car by the way.. gotta ask hubby dear to get me a similar one!
Hope: Leave all this.. lets go..!
(They run outside. People are waiting outside, the ladies are trying to lift Manav)
Manav: AAAAAAAAAAAAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! Madam, stop pulling my hand, and Madam WHY ARE YOU PULLING MY HAIR.???
Deni: Can you see stars now???
Manav: No!
Deni: Then I won't leave your hair!!
Manav: Yes, yes, I can see everything, now please let go of me!!!
Deni: Atta boy! Tanya, he can see stars in broad daylight! We have taken our revenge for our girl.. ha ha ha!
Mansi: Ram Ram Raja Ram anyone???
Tanya Di: Baad mein! Jaldi kar Niki yeh bahut bhari hai.
Kaka: Wait ladies, I will come and give you a hand, aap na uthaye Manav ko, who bahut bhari hai!
Gauri: I wish I could tell you Manav ko maar ke mera dil kitna halka ho gaya hai! Silly boy! Jis haath se Shravani ko sindoor lagaya, tod diya woh haath maine!
Deni: Ha ha ha!! What did all of that mean, by the way? Can somebody translate please?
Manav: Insaaniyat ke naate, I can translate.
(Guests are shocked. Finally Deshmukh family gets its tongue and decides that since Archu is not there, they shall have to speak.)
Savita: where are you taking my boy??
Niki: Hospital, you can see his condition- depressed, shaken up, and now injured. He has lost his mental balance ever since his wife left him,.
Savita: Aur tu kaun hai re?
Niki: Arey aapko nahi pata? Hamara janmon janmon ka naata hai- I can get into his mind and read it- we have a telepathic relationship!
Savita: Mere bte ko leke koi nahi ja sakta! Aaj shadi hai iski.
Niki: Yahaan rehke bhi kaun si shadi hogi. Haath to fracture ho gaya hai!!
Damo: Arey to tum log kyun le ja rahe ho hospital, hum le jayenge na.
Kools (coming forward): I knew it, the only sensible person in the Duffer khandan- Ladies, hum le jayenge Manav ko hospital, why are you interfering.
Tanya Di: Cos our friend hurt him, that is why insaaniyat ke naate, we will take him to the hospital.
Manav: Koi bhi le jao, koi bhi le jao- par please mujhe koi hospital le jao!! AAAAAAAAAAAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!
Niki: See, he wants to come with me.. I mean us!
Kools: And what about the person who hurt him? Aren't you turning her to the police?
(everyone gets nervous)
Gauri: Aa.. woh.. maine to pyaar se mara tha..
Kools: (breathing fire) I hate abuse of any kind.. Police Police!!
(Suddenly police van comes there. Akash steps out).
Akash: Don't worry, I will take this Gauri to the police station.
Manav: Please take me to hospital first, AAAAAAOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!
Akash: Dude, why are you crying so much- men don't cry!! Don't you know that?? Mard ko dard nahi hota!!
Manav: Hota hai, hota hai.. jab aisi pagal ladkiyan peet-ti hain to bahut dard hota hai.. AAAAAAAAOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
Kools: Hurray! I won, see Chauvinist, I told you na, men do cry!!
Akash: Oh shucks! I lost this bet!!
Hope(whispering) : Are you mad, we are doing this to unite ArMan, you got the biggest ArMan fan award- why are you taking Gauri away??? Why spoil our plan??
Akash: I DON'T WANT YOU TO KIDNAP MANAV! I want my doll to do the sacrifice. I want to win the bet with Tanya Di and Gauri.
Tanya Di: Oh no! Hope we can't make him win the bet, I don't want to lose my bet!!
Kools: Enough blabbering: Akash we take this Gauri to police station. Damo Kaka, accompany these women to the hospital.
Niki: NOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Kools gives a hard glare??.
Niki: Okay, I guess you are just not getting my point, no use discussing the matter further. Lets drop the matter. Sorry if I hurt you!!
Kools: Hey classic sorry line, Niki from I-F??? MANAV'S SUPPORTER??? WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE????
Tanya Di: Bye Kools! Lets run.. (kools blocks the route)
Kools To Niki: Wait I'll call up the hospital, the ambulance will come and TAKE MANAV TO THE HOSPITAL!!
Niki: OH shucks, what do we do now: Damo kaka, and now Ambulance people!!
(The ambulance arrives: Ali gets down)
Tanya Di: Bappa ka chamatkaar!
Mansi: Can I please play my music now??
Everyone": Play it!
(Ram Ram Raja Ram in full blast at the wedding!)
Ali: Chaliye ji, jaldi le chalein patient ko, I have my exams!!
Shravani: I will also come.
Deni: Oh dear, the shameless girl will follow everywhere- don't let her come Damo.
Damo: Actually I don't have a problem, we are going to the hospital right?
Niki whispers : Archu.. Archu..!
Damo: What??? Choo..Choo??? Isn't that what you call Shravani??
Gauri: Yeah, I mean dimwits, think about pavitra Bachcha, do you think Shravani shud come???
Shravani: My bachcha doesn't mind. Living with me, he has grown immune to all types of shocks and weird behaviors.
Kools": Why do you worry Shravani, I'm always on your side. Don't worry, sit and relax.
(All of them get in ambulance, Hope follows in the car. Gauri, kools, and Akash go to police station)
Damo: Kyaa baat hai!! Great job you people did! Kidnapped Manav from the mandap. Bappa has really given you brains.
Manav: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! My hand!!!!
Tanya Di: You wrung Archu's hand with this hand right, ab bhugato!!!
Manav: (shamefaced) Arey I understand you people mean well, but Shravani..
Damo: Bhag ja, beta, bhag ja.. bhag ja..!!
Ali: So shud I stop the ambulance??
Damo: Yes, take me back in this ambulance. We will tell everyone that the crazy ladies kidnapped Manav.
Manav: But.. Baba don't leave me with these crazy ladies!
Fifi: Manav, look into my eyes dude, you think I'm crazy? Just trust us, we have come all the way from Trinidad for you!
Manav: (shocked): HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*************____________________________****************
(Venue: J.J. Police Station, Byculla)
Scene: Kools, Gauri and Akash are quarelling.
Kools: I knew it, I knew it! These people have come to spoil the wedding.. you girls, none of you care about poor Shravani! Hypocrites all of you, blot on the name of women..
Akash: My doll suffers for being so sweet
So innocent, so terribly incomplete
Without Manav by her side
Now, by the law you must abide,
And get to jail now
For creating a tamasha, and how!
Gauri: Kools, this marriage benefits no one! Why do you want a nice girl like Shravani to get married to Manav who doesn't love her?? Wouldn't it be better for her to marry someone else?
Kools: She LOVES Manav.. and frankly speaking Archu-Manav the virgin duo BORE me. Shravani is HONEST guys!
Akash: Aah! My doll needs a honest guy to love her, not that Manav who goes on with his Archu jaap.. poor Shravani will suffer..
Kools: Matters have gone ahead, we can't turn back now. Manav better work on this marriage!
Akash: Ahoy Kools, this Spartan believes that love in invincible, unbreakable, immovable and ..
Kools and Gauri: GET TO THE POINT!
Akash: Manav won't forget Archu, Shravani is doomed!
Kools: Then what do we do???
*********************_______________________________*********************
Archu's home in Dombivili. Archu wakes up from sleep.
Everyone: Happy B'day to you!!! Happy B'day Archu!!!
Archu wakes up to find a gift-wrapped Manav sitting on the bed next to her. His mouth is taped!
Archu: Manav!!!!!!! What happened to you??
Archu removes Manav's tape.
Archu: Say something
Manav: I love you Archu!! (Leans forward to give her a kiss)
Archu turns wide-eyed. She faints straight into Manav's arms.
MAnav: Archu! Archu! Oh Bappa what should do I now?
Niki: Do you ever use your own brain.. Bappa Bappa Bappa all the time!
Hope: So how did you feel after meeting your wife?
Manav: Very nice
Gauri: So how do you feel holding your lovely wife in your arms?
Manav(blushing): Very very nice!
Tanya Di: And how did you feel after kissing her???
(Manav turns red. Hides behind a pillow)
Niki: We understood. But did you understand??
Manav: Yes!!!
Hope: Finally, okay what did you understand?
Manav: One should not kiss in public, It is very very embarrassing.😕
Everyone: AAARRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!😡😡😡
Deni: Lets leave him behind with Shravani, he deserves her.
Manav: No, no, I don't want to go.
tulsey: But you promised marriage to her, then.. remember all those big dreams.. I don't blame Shravani a cent for having fallen for you. Its all your fault, YOURS, YOURS,YOURS!!1
Manav is sad now. 😭
Hope: My sweet Dumbo, why did you kiss her, say I love you???
Manav: You pressurized me to.
Niki: Tell the truth, you didn't want to do it yourself?
Manav: Uh-yeah yes! But Shravani..
Niki: Manav why did you think we kidnapped you????
Manav: Urmm.. let me think.. Urm.. oh.. thinking is such a difficult job.. oh yeah! You want to unite me and Archu!!!
Everyone- WRONG!!!!!
Tanya Di: This was to show what a weakling you really are, you buckle under pressure almost immediately, on our pressurizing you, scaring you, you kissed Archana..!!! You never did it before yourself!
Gauri: Just like you buckled under pressure everytime before!!!
Niki: We broke your hand once, and then all your attention was on your hand, shouting for help, rather than thinking of how to escape!!! Never thinking of solutions- just crying all the time!! Just like you never thought of solutions to the Shravani fiasco. We are doing the thinking part for you!!!
Hope: You didn't even try and convince your Dad not to leave you and go away- the same way as you could never convince your Mom, Shravani or Girishji for anything. Poor Archu suffered!!!
Everyone: So did you understand anything now!!!
Manav (sad and disturbed): Its my fault. Oh Bappa, what should I do???
Niki: I'll slap you now if you ask Bappa for help!!! God helps those who help themselves!! Battles of life are not solved by praying to God, they have to be FACED and FOUGHT!!
Fifi: As I always say, the proof of the pudding is in the eating of it!!!
Tanya Di: Now I know you give great one liners Fifi, but how does this one fit in???
Fifi: AAwww.. it was just that I was feeling hungry, so it came to my mind. Care for a snack anyone??
Gauri: Later, well the proof of the pudding is certainly in the eating. Manav, we did what we could do, now we'll drop you back at the wedding. If you care for Archu, stop this wedding on your OWN!!!
Manav: (Looking at Archu): Yeah I guess, I have committed too many blunders but I shall have to stand up and face the music on my own now.. I shall say no to marriage.. no to marriage, yeah! I SHALL SAY NO TO MARRIAGE!!! Oh that felt so good!!!
Tanya Di and Gauri: Yayyy!!! We won the bet- the plan worked!!!
Niki: Yaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyy!!!!!!!! I shall write my story!
Hope: Confess plain and simple, that's it. There is hope for everybody in this world. Tell Shrvani and her father the truth and that you won't be able to keep shravani happy. No use cheating the girl. The girl needs to grow up, become mature and see things in the current perspective.
(Kools enters)
Kools: Yeah I'd like to see how he does that, else I'm gonna BLAST him in my daily commentary.
Manv: Awww.. lets call it peace now.
Kools: Hmmmmmmm??.
Niki: Aaawwwwwww? Kools please, he said he'll take care of Shravani AND PAVITRA BACCHA.
Tanya Di: He is repenting so much.. please Kools..
Kools: Tanya you're an emotional peach- all right! First say Hail Kools!!!
Manav: Hail Kools!
Kools: I'm the best!!!
Manav: I'm the best!!!!!
Kools: Dumbo, you are the best!!!!!!!
Manav (blushing) Thanks Kools , that is so sweet of you.
Kools: (slaps forehead) Why do I even expect from him, ha?
Everyone: Lets leave the love birds alone now- off to the Pani Puri party at Elco or Bandstand!!!!
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