Originally posted by: nikitagmc
My views on sulochana: I agree with many of your points about Sulochana.. but what I don't like about her is that she doesn't give others a chance where her family is concerned.. Manju has made so many mistakes.. but Sul didn't even scold her.. infact brought her back each time and even asked her family members to not speak bad about her... but when Manav- a person who saved her daughter and her husband, was framed, she did nt even give him a chance to explain.. Again when he called to ask for help, on humanitarian grounds at least she shud have asked him what the problem was.. especially when he has recently saved the life of her daughter Varsha and even made her accept that he might just be innocent (she said it herself) moreover Manav did not insult Archana at the function, his aai did, so why punish him for his Aai's mistakes..???
This reasoning can be thrown at Sulochana's face by Varsha or Archu at a later point in this serial . It is a valid point , I do not disagree with you on this one . Yet i can give you an explanation for this from her point of view .............a mother's point of view . In Vinod and Manju's case , Punni has been born and the relationship is somewhat sealed . For better or for worse , Manju is their daughter in law now . In Archu's case , even the physical consummation has not taken place and the mother in Sulochana feels that Archu's fate can still be salvaged , that she is still in a position to take some decisions and correct her mistake . And hence the strong decisive reactions . Besides , to her credit , Manju is not caught ninety percent of the time . When she was indeed caught once , Sulochana went and got her back due to Punni . I think if Archu and Manav had a baby , this same Sulochana wud not hasten to break up the marraige but re think her decisions . From her point of view , this marraige was a bad dream that went wrong in its teeting stage and is best dealt with by cutting its roots so her daughter can start afresh again . Archu's insult at the function was fresh in her mind when Manav called and even Savita wud have kept the phone down in exactly the same way , perhaps even more rudely .
She even accepted that Manav might be innocent, but went ahead planning Archu's marriage with Satish.. cos she doesn't like Savita.. so again she will punish Manav for his Aai's mistakes.Again.......try to think as a mother . Yes Manav is innocent . But meanwhile what about the horror story in Manavs house called Savita ? She has shown a diffrent roop to Sulochana , do not forget that . The way she barged in on them with far too many guest , made them spend beyond their budget , harassment for jewellery , threatening her that I have not yet given your daughter a laafa , standing outside their door and telling her neighbours that this girl was badnaam for prostitution , making her daughter remove mangalsutra on the roads , Manav's innocence becomes extremely wishy washy infront of his mother's colourful deeds . Any mother will think this only ..........so ok , boy is good , but so what ? His mom is always going to be there and the boy is not gonna live seperately . Why shud i ruin my daughters life by sending her to live in that hell ? Just the boy being good isnt enough at this point .............and frankly , is she wrong ?
there's no doubt that sulochana tries hard to be a perfect mother, but somewhere she ends up running (and ruining) her children's lives. She is so overprotective that she feels its better she makes all their decisions since she always thinks the best for them. She made all the decisions for Archana (even Archu accepted it today) and for Varshu as well... no doubt Varshu felt suffocated and moved out of the house (her husband said it to her once that she was wrong in being so harsh on Varshu). She always claims that she knows her daughter well, but then why can't she feel her pain and understand her love.. she didn't even ask her before saying yes to Satish's Mum...
These mistakes r common parenting mistakes that every parent does .............the mistakes of generation gap [ her tiff with Varshu ] , the mistake of not realising my child has grown up and can actually have a mind of her own [ her mistake regarding Archu and Satish ] . What has to be noted is that her motive was to protect them , wanting the best for them . Varshu did realise her mistake after enjoying her new found independence the hard way . And if Archu goes back she is indeed going to suffer under Savita once more . Sulochna is , in a sense , not wrong . Still , these mistakes r human ...........Savitas mistakes r inhuman coz she tried evilly to break Manav and Archu up by listening to Manjusha . The trickery about the divorce papers is unforgivable ............saying she had Manavs best interests at heart is laughable here . She had completely other plans.........of getting a far richer girl than Archu .
In favour of Manav: Manav DID NOT insult Archu at the function, he just asked her to leave (and that too not 'GET OUT' but folding his hands and begging her to PLEASE go) as the situation was already getting from bad to worse.. her staying there wud have complicated matters more. His dad slapping his mom is indeed a big matter and he was obviously quite alarmed...! I mean, I really can't think of anything else he cud have done... what shud he have said.. yes, you did the right thing.. she humiliated my wife so badly... so he said... you can't hit my mom for archana (i.e. it is alright if you favour archana but that doesn't mean you can hit my mom, his statement is absolutely neutral with respect to what his Aai said), I repeat.. raising your hand at your wife is a big thing,, even Archana was genuinely shocked... if he had kept quiet his dad wud have hit out even more at her... I don't think that was the time to take sides, it was more like controlling the situation, I came to this conclusion after thinking from a practical rather than emotional point of view... that also justifies why Archana and Varsha were angry at Manav's Aai but not at Manav and wanted to call him to the function the next day, they understood his predicament..!
My dear , what his mom did............character assasination of a girl and the dirty way she talked was indeed a big thing too and somehow he seemed to be silent on that one . It was a husband wife matter and even Kaka did not fall into it . Neither did Vandu . His mom was clearly out of control ..........and it was high time she was curbed . He had seen his parents disastrous marraige all these years .........his father had never raised his hand on his mom inspite of being a drunkard he was quite the gentleman . On the contrary his mom was perfectly more capable of thrashing his father and talking to him a a foul way . it shud have struck Manav that if his gentle dad raised his hand , it was indeed a far serious matter , and he shud have walked in with his dad , not cradled his nautanki mom who obviously gets encouragement due to this blind love .
Where Manav being a weak husband is concerned... it is important to keep in mind his situation.. he loves his family and also Archana.. it is difficult for him to take one side... so when his aai asked archu for jewellery, then at first he tried to be diplomatic and gave it to her himself.. but when it didn't work out he fought with his aai over the matter, clearly told her that relations are not made of gold and silver and it doesn't matter if that necklace was fake or not... eventually Archu told him to back off and drop the matter and not interfere in his and aai's fights... so according to me the guy is not at fault..
Yes he is very much at fault here . It is not a diplomatic handling of the situation at all .........it was weak , shoddy , immature handling . He was a simple mechanic.........his moms demands for gold were not gonna cease . From where was he gonna buy gold each time she demanded it from his wife's maayka and pretend that it was from the Karanjkars ? Was it possible ? No , the problem shud have been nipped in the bud itself . Mom , no asking my wifes family for jewellery . I forbid it . Upon this if Savita called him henpecked or joru ka gulam he shud have shown toughness enough to tell her call me whatever you like , the jewellery should not be demanded , bas . Only these two sentences r required to set mothers like Savita straight . Listening to Archu's promises was again weakness . A principled stand is a principled one.........wife or mother shudnt matter .
Again he fought with his aai when she badmouthed Archana the first time.. after that he probably stopped saying anything cos he knew that there was nothing he cud say in Archu's defence.. (he thinks Archu likes Satish.. ) even though he doesn't agree on the characterless part..(he divorced her so she cud marry him and live peacefully.. he said it to Varshu that there's nothing wrong in Archu marrying Satish)
Where the jail thing is concerned.. Manav has all rights to be angry and upset.. Savita was wrong no doubt.. but what have the rest of the family members done..
(I have written all these things in so many posts.. defending Manav.. he is not dumb.. he is not weak.. but the debate seems to be never ending... am really tired now.. now will leave everyone with their own views)
About Savita: i myself said it that Savita is honest and Sulochana is not.. by this i don't mean honesty towards others but honesty to self.. Savita admits to herself that she wants money and jewellery and is even doing wrong cos of it, but Sulochana thinks herself as goody to shoes and always right. Again when Varshu told them all abt Manav's gudness in saving her.. she accepted that Manav may be innocent... but went ahead planning her marriage with Satish.. alright she doesn't want to send Archana to that house... but who started it??? So ? Even if she started it , if it went haywire due to the boy's mom , shud she continue with her mistake ? No logic in this !
Savita's anger and bitterness towards Archana is an answer to Sulochana's anger when she showered out insults at Manav, called him characterless and a pimp, and even slapped him. Which mother wud tolerate that, especially for a son who is the lifeline of the family and has sacrificed so much in life for his family... she understood the fact that Archana doesn't deserve a husband like Manav long ago (a fact that we have ourselves said too many times) and so she wanted him to get divorced soon... since he was unwilling she went ahead doing so by crook... (again if we look here she is doing the wrong thing but the intentions are not wrong.. she is just trying to save her son- again a fact all of us here acknowledged long back).
No she was never trying to ' save ' her son , she was ' selling ' her son ...............even in the first attempt with the karanjkars she first sold him in the marraige market by lying that he was an engineer , then once the marraige was done she used the marraige as a weight to hoard jewelllery she extracted from the girls family . The conversation with her neighbour about a second , richer rishta for Manav inflamed her greed and she decided to get him divorced by hook or by crook . When still Manav was not co operating she turned her attention to selling her other son Sachin . Sulochna at that point , was refusing a rich mans rishta for Archu...........Satish's , saying it is too early , Archu is still recovering . See the diffrence between the two mothers .
The plain truth (as I see it) is that- I hate Sulochana cos she treated Manav poorly despite how much he has done for he family, and I don't hate Savita that much cos Archu hasn't really given her a reason to like her.. she walked out on her marriage and treated her son poorly, just attending a function doesn't mean that you respect your family and love them.. love is when you share the sorrows, ups and downs of the family... but archu left manav alone..!!
I will not say anything about your hating sulochna for treating Manav so poorly ............thats a matter of opinion , but i disagree that Archana never really gave her a reason to like her . This is , in my opinion a really unfair statement . Archana slogged in that house , never uttered a word against her atrocities and threats , fetched water , cooked , listend to innumerable taunts ...............no daughter in law wud have tolerated it even for a moment . When Manav went to the garage , life was not a bed of roses for Archana . She did share the hard atmosphere of that family quietly , right from sleeping on the floor to not consummating her marraige with her husband . She didnt leave him alone............the law , police , lied to her and the charges of prosttution levied on her character had been her sore point . Manav indeed had materialised out of nowhere in that brothel , and remember the moment when she had shrunk away from him in the taxi while returning and asked him how come he was there at the brothel . She had never really got a satisfactory answer for that . Just like Manav did not exlain himself clearly to Sulochna on the phone , he did not explain himself clearly to Archu when she saw him with the pimp after their marraige . Explaining is not really his strong point . Also , Manav had umpteen opprtunities to catch Archu alone , and drag her in a corner and have a heart to heart talk with her but he saw her once with Satish and just lost his confidence . This shows lack of trust...........the same thing for which Archu is blamed .
And yes, for the umpteenth time- Manav WAS NOT A WEAK husband.. cos Archu was VERY HAPPY when she was with him.. he stood up for her against everyone.. helped her in all her problems and atrocities by his aai (including washing dishes on their first night) and made her feel happy and comfortable.. no wonder then that Archu admitted to him that she felt safe and comfortable with him and trusted him (which actually she didn't the very next day, but that is another matter). Apart from the jewellery matter (which was sorted out) there were no other problems in those 15 days of marriage.. Archana WAS happy and contented.. all her major problems with savita started after she walked out...
I wud say she was just getting to know Manav and had no problems with him ...........but HAPPY is a strong word for Archu had witnessed things Manav had not witnessed ............his mother bullying her mom with an army of guests , demands for jewels , politics in house work..........Manav was blisfully unaware of these situations due to Archu's silence .
If they had still stayed together I have no doubts that they wud have been very happy cos Savita's basic interests had been fulfilled and Manav was anyway there to take care of her... though I cant say this now cos Savita will surely take revenge from Archu for sending them to jail..
Yup , and this time , dear , when they show the milan , I hope Manav blasts Savita like hell . Coz although i have diffred with u , I too , want this milan just like u !😊
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