New FF Pavitra Rishta part 4 pg3 updt 17th july 09

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Posted: 16 years ago
#1
Hey everyone
My first attempt at writing so plenty of warnings ....a) dont know much abt the show except that i saw a recap epi at my aunts place as she was watching it ...and manav's character touched my heart really hence this FF (the lead actor ...simply wow!!!),b) i dont watch hindi shows as such so pardon me abt that ,c) i will be using a bit of hindi in the FF so bear with that,d)have made a few changes to the characters and obviously the story .....but their essence remains.
Finally ...comments and criticisms are most welcum...plus all those who know mumbai well ,as well as maharashtrian lifestyle i'd like u to help cause me have little idea abt that.
Pavitra Rishta
Chapter 1

As Archana continued to think and look thru the french windows at the beautiful sea before her '.the sudden knock at the door startled her ..so much so that she found herself jerking a bit.

Come in she said

Archana this is the entire file for the event that has to organised for Rolta India ..if you don't get anything I can always be contacted ..though I'm sure the need wont arise said Arjun as walked over and handed the file to Archana.

Right Sir , thankyou so much for trusting me with this ,hope I wont let u down .she continued

No worries Archana Trust me I no what I am doing ...U'll be fine ....good luck..with that Arjun left the cabin leaving a beaming Archana behind ....Archana who had joined the taj grp of hotels two years ago as a sales trainee ,Archana who had impressed one and all with her work so much so that now she was being given a responsibility that Sales team leaders handled.

With Arjun gone Archana turned once again to face the sea 'and it wasn't time before she was lost deep in thought remembering her journey so far.

Archana was born in a typical middle class maharashtrian family,right from her childhood she had been living in the same small house in a crowded suburban locality in mumbai .She had a huge family and she loved them all ..be it her mother and father ,two younger sisters .or her elder brother Vinod and his wife Manjusha .The house with so many adults did seem very small compared to when they were all younger and manjusha's presence did make it seem even smaller .So she was educated , had a nice career , loving family ''picture perfect!!!! Not really '..her marriage had become an issue of great concern especially for her Aai 'well she wanted to get her married once she had finished her graduation but things didn't work '.and ever since years passed ..attempts were made but the result remained the same 'things didn't work out .The frustration had started to settle in as she found herself analysing why things never worked out and why she had to be the cause of her Aai's tears .She not only managed her job but managed the house as well but at the end all she was being remembered was the trouble she caused evryone be it her mother , her sisters (they cant get married unless she does ) or her brother (who loved her immensely but cudnt save her from his wife's taunts) .

Her Aai wanted a rich ,well educated ,good looking man for her '..but the guys fulfilling these qualities..things never materialised with them and their families thanks to her luck and her lovable SIL manjusha and her mother.Over the years she had heard several things about her character as as she worked in a hotel and her looks as well but never a word of appreciation for what she was and did as a person for everyone.They say beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder '.and she was looking for those special pair of eyes ' that would not look beyond her , a special pair that would make her feel she was the ultimate for them , a pair that would capture her in them forever ' ''.Yes she was looking for that special pair of eyes''''..

Those special pair of eyes '..looking at him once again '..everytime they came before him he found himself drowning into them and it made him wonder what the face that held exclusive rights to this pair of bewitching eyes wud look like.

He still remebered the first time those eyes looked into his own ,it was a busy evening at the local railway station and he was making his way thru the swarm of people to catch the local back home when suddenly a girl went past him almost making him trip ,as he regained his balance and looked into the direction where the faint 'Sorry' came from,all he cud manage to see thru the bunch of people was a pair of absolutely bewitching eyes he had ever seen '..

It had been over a month now since that fateful evening 'but those eyes never left his mind 'and as he was now realising the problem was turning severe.

Manav ,manav kya kar raha hai , haath mein chot lag jayegi ''yelled tarun , which brought Manav back from his dream land

Huh , maine dekha nahin 'Manav said sheepishly

Dhyaan kahaan rehta hai tera yaar , garage mein kaam karta hai ,u have to be careful'.chal time ho gayaa ,ghar chal continued tarun as he literally dragged Manav out of his workplace.

Yaar mujhe station pe chod de'..said manav

Kyun who station wali ki wajah se '..yaar tujhe kya lagta tu roz platform pe khada hoga aur wo tujhe mil jayegi''. zaroori hai wo roz train se aati jaati ho continued tarun

Manav: woh baat nahin hai '.yaar seriously i am just taking the train back

Tarun: Jhooth Jhooth .....as if mujhe pataa nahin hai kuch'.theek hai ill drop u there.

After tarun dropped him ,manav made his way to the same platform and looked arnd for her '.he waited for an hr looking for her but Alas she never came..like the many days he had waited for her hoping against hope that she would come and he wud catch a glimpse of her but like those days today also he wud have to go home heartbroken as she never turned up.As he boarded the crowded local to go home ..he sadly smiled at his state 'what was he doing 'all he had seen were her eyes 'and if that had caused such mayhem in his life ..if she ever came face to face with him '.what would happen then he wondered .

Thats that for part one ........next update ...well it will come if u guys want me to continue...................😉
Edited by rdfan - 16 years ago

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Larki_deewani thumbnail
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Posted: 16 years ago
#2

wow..that was great..im looking forward to the next part. Please continue soon

devashree_h thumbnail
Posted: 16 years ago
#3
It was simply fantastic. Very descriptive language you have used. Dont worry about Hindi since we mostly discuss everything in English here. I really liked the first part.
*Maleena* thumbnail
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Posted: 16 years ago
#4
love it! can't wait for more!
P.Kamaljit.Sean thumbnail
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Posted: 16 years ago
#5
hey
i am a new reader of ur ff
that was awesum
loved it
blackdaughter thumbnail
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Posted: 16 years ago
#6
I like it! You are doing a great job for someone writing the first time! can't wait for the next part! =D
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Posted: 16 years ago
#7
A big Thankyou to *Maleena*, mou.kundu100, devashree_h, Larki_deewani, blackdaughter for your kind words of appreciation .
Next part coming up shortly.......
Edited by rdfan - 16 years ago
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Posted: 16 years ago
#8
its too good:)
waiting for next part
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Posted: 16 years ago
#9
A quick thanks to sadvita as well!!!!

Chapter 2

Manav was born into a simple middle class maharashtrian family,that lived in a small yet comfortable home in an overly crowded lane in suburaban Mumbai,he had grown up seeing hawkers crowding up the lane ,neighbours arguing with each other in public , kids playing arnd and had always wanted to move away from this mess and live with his parents and siblings in a nice aprtment of his own overlooking the arabian sea,towards which he had made a bright start as he was a top performer in school 'which earned him an admission with half scholarship to the prestigious engineering college in Mumbai.His first year at college was rocking as he not only topped his class but was quite a hit among girls as well which led to most guys being envious of him except one'..Tarun.

He had met Tarun on his very first day at college and they hit off instantly '..and with every passing day that he spent with him ,he realised that Tarun was indeed the special friend he was probably looking for all this while .The Second year too had started of equally well but that one evening changed it all , Manav returned home from a usual hectic day at college to find his mother, younger brother and sister crying inconsolably and a few neighbours trying to pacify them, manav tried to gather what was happening when the words about his father severe accident hit him ,he felt himself going numb and then came the final blow that left him devastated 'the accident had left his father immobile for the rest of his life.He was only 20 and his life , his dream had been shattered into pieces that he could never ever collect .That eveniing changed not only his life but him forever.

The new dawn 'brought with it a new manav and his new life 'which began with paying his last visit to College, informing Tarun abt his siuation and then looking for work ..which after much begging he found at a garage in the main city.So manav the future automobile engineer had turned into a mechanic at a local garage.

In the 7 years since that day 'everything had changed in his life except one contsnt force of support Tarun.

Manav jerked out of his reverie and looked arnd to find that almost evryone had left the train , what was wrong with him these days ,he spent too much time thinking .and that was wrong ,with that thought he got of the train and headed home.

Archana hurried thru the lane to reach her house , she was already late today and everybody must be waiting for her to come and cook for them,as she neared her home it was a familiar site waiting for her ,Manju was bickering with her Aai as usual ,while her two sisters were actively partcipately in their verbal dual ,sometimes all this made her wonder if instead of arguing these people would do a little housework ,things would be so much easier and better.

With that she let out a sigh and entered the fight arena .

Aai: Archu ,tu aagayi '.beta aaj main bahut khush hoon , tere liye ek rishta aaya ,ladka bahut he padha likha hai ,ghar bhi achha hai'..

Archana:ji aai (so that's what the argument was abt 'she sould have known from past experiences ), main change kar ke kitchen mein jaati hoon , kya khaana bana na hai ?

Aai: Rehne de aaj maine sab kar diya hai , tu araam kar '

Wow , a rare day of rest 'but why did aai have to do it 'main aake kar to deti ..she thought 'maybe she was happy because of the rishta that's why..

Archana: aaj kar diya kal se mat karna , aap kyun karti ho 'main aake karoongi

Having said that she went in to change .The later half of the evening was quite peaceful as the family had a quiet meal together .After dinner ,everyone had gone off to do their own thing leaving archana behind to do cleaning as usual.As she cleaned the dishes , she thanked the almighty that another day had passed of well and that she had better things at work to look forward to tomorrow ,with a happy feeling in her heart she finished her work and went off to bed .

The moon light was brightening up the nite sky ..and there was gentle cool breeze blowing arnd ,with such perfect weather conditions manav decideed it was stupid to sleep in his room when he could enjoy the beauty of nature outside .After making himself comfortable bed outside ,manav looked at the heavens above ,enjoying the mesmerizing look of the nite sky'..silently making a wish 'before he went off to bed.

------------------------

The morning hussle bussle broke Manav's deep sleep ,and manav quickly jumped out of bed and went to get ready.

Manav'a mom: Manav ,nashta rakha hai

Manav: aai , der ho gayee hai , main nikalta hoon '' 8:10 ki local miss hui 'to kaafi wait karna padegaa

Aai: manav ,khayegaa nahin to kaam kaise karegaa , kuch to khake jaa beta

That was his Aai '.always caring .and special when it came to him '.he quickly picked a fruit from the table and went and took his dad's ashirwaad and left the house .

Manav was literally running and pushing himself thru the swarm of people 'to catch the train , thoda jaldi aata to shayad usse bhi doondh leta he thought while making his way through ,usse apna dhyan hataa manav , she is not letting u do things '..with that final though he entered the train and found himself a comfortable corner where he cud lean his back to the compartment wall.

The train started to move 'and pick up speed 'manav was looking out of the window to avoid her thoughts when suddenly something caught his eyes attention''.

This guy was deliberately pushing into the girl in front of him and since his motion was so in sync with the trains movement ,it was looking something casual.He saw the girl move away ,thinking that it was happening due to lack of space and the trains motion .But soon the guy moved a little forward towards her and the whole thing he had just witnessed started all over again.

Manav decided it was time to intervene so he made his towards the guy and once there he casually put his arm between the guy and the girl to hold the handrail.

Archana 'heaved a sigh of relief as she saw this guy put his arm between that rogue and her 'she could have given that idiot a mouthful herself but wasn't in the mood to ruin her morning '.but she definitely had to thank the guy who had saved her.

Archana: Thank you ,very much.

Manav turned his attention and face in the direction of the voice only to find himself get completely lost into that angelic face and those mesmerizing eyes.Over a months wait had finally been rewarded 'Thankgod !!! no actually he owed big thanks to that rogue for if not for him he would have met her .What beauty he thought as he continued to look expressionlessly at her .If not for the handrail 'he was sure he would have collapsed rite there n then.As she kept looking at him expecting a response , and all he cud come up with was a meek 'No problem'.Boy was he making a fool of himself in front of her or what

Wow ,what a start to the day 'he cudnt believe it till yesterday all he wanted was to see her face ..and today he was standing rite next to her ,his entire system felt as if under somekind of spell ,and all he did for the next 5 mins was to steal glances at her and smile foolishly to himself ,it would have been better had tarun been arnd , he though, may be he cud have helped him in regaining his lost composure .

The train came to a stop and she left giving him a warm smile , all he cud do in response was look blankly at her '.he was spell bound for sure 'he had to get out of it 'but he didn't want to that too was sure .

She had left what seemed like ages ago and he was still rooted to the very spot ,and as he finally regained his lost senses ..he got off the train and headed for work.

As he walked through the crowded road towards the garage ,his mind went to something he had learned in school abt earthquakes 'as she and them were so similar 'in his opinion....

After seeing her eyes that day what he experienced henceforth were the first mild tremors''Now Meeting her today''was like the final jolt 'leading to complete disaster for sure and as for the aftershocks 'they were still due'but if the final jolt was anything to go by he wasn't too sure if he would survive to experience them.

Ok thats that for the day !!!! next update well it depends on whether u all want one ...and if u do then ill be back soon for sure!!!😉And sorry for the mistakes... haven't had the time 2 proof read it because of work.
Edited by rdfan - 16 years ago
blackdaughter thumbnail
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Posted: 16 years ago
#10
OMG! Nice update yaar! I love how you are so descriptive! *thumbs up* Great job so far! And i'm glad to see that you aren't stretching them meeting till like................ five parts!!! 😆
Great update and i really hope you continue! *hug*

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