1st Oct Discussion - Ajao Saray - Page 40

Originally posted by: asmaanixx

I don't think Minnie is in the mindset to be dating right now. She already has so much going on in her life, a boyfriend will be the last thing she'll need. Loll, if we get HS having a stern talk with Mickey, then I'm game. 😆

I would love to see HS talk him down and that scared look on Mickey's face, but now that Mickey is in his inner circle would HS be that way with him?

Originally posted by: Mishti_Dahi

I've watched it. Amazing movie. Shefali Shah was brilliant! I love how she keeps her foot down in the end. Enough is enough!

Thank you Jean. I feel better. 🤗

Yep, I'll definitely earn a lot of money first lol.

🤗

Originally posted by: Sakurablossom

Babita, Khuranas all are fictional characters. What I am actually disappointed about is the fact that writers made joke of a serious issue like emotional abuse DIL goes through in typical Indian household.

Easy to say raise your voice, but in reality it is so much more complicated than that.

Are all women or men who were victims of abuse of myriad sorts foolish, immature and spineless? Why do they need so much push to leave a toxic relationship? Because it's freaking difficult.

I wonder did the writers tried to look into real life cases where women are abandoned by NRI husband for years and left to serve the in-laws? Did they try to dig into their psyche? They made comments as a third party witness.

I had hopes that they would do justice to a delicate matter like this, but they didn't.

And I request you guys to read some posts on #whyIstayed. It's so difficult to leave a physically abusive person, imagine strength one would need to leave when abuser is not that bad.

I am still hoping that they bring this all into a proper conclusion at some point, as this is one of the central themes of this show. Right not it's getting a bit confusing.

Originally posted by: Sakurablossom

So to put it bluntly babita was actually stupid to think that 17 years of selfless service would land her some place in their heart and she might become part of khurana family.

And since Khuranas are old school, they have no obligation to be fair and just. Being old school is a free pass to be misogynistic leeches.

That's not what I am saying and you know it.

I am talking about our expectations from people hurting us because what happens to many people like Babita is that they start wondering if there's something wrong with them if people around them do bad things to them or don't treat them nicely. That's unfortunately what causes victims to lose self-confidence and go into a downwards spiral. They measure their self-worth based on what people around them do or think and it hurts them really badly.

Originally posted by: asmaanixx

But I can!

In a lot of ways, Naeem Bi is also his second chance of being a son. He had failed to protect his own mother and had to lose her in the process. In the absence of his mother, Naeem Bi stepped up and filled that void. He got the guidance, love and warmth that he needed at crucial points of his life and he is eternally grateful for it. Thus, for him to see yet another mother of his be abused and be powerless to help her, it would have surely ripped him apart. The amount of times he would have wanted to intervene or put a stop to Baig Saab's abusive ways, but couldn't because either Naeem Bi never spoke up, or had to hold back because he wasn't their biological son - it's heartbreaking.

His own mother suffered and ultimately died at the hand of an abusive drunk. He might have been fearful that something similar might happen to her too. Then there was that period where she stopped coming over to his place when Imarti passed. It was brutal as it is because he lost Imarti but then to have lost his mother again, even if it was in certain respects, that's even more haunting. I don't even wanna know what was going through Naeem Bi at that time. Rubina was wedded, Ifran was living in Aligarh, and the only son that she had left was slowly losing pieces of his soul as he drowned himself in alcohol.

Baig Saab passed, Naeem Bi was no longer being abused but her home too became just like HS' - a container that held bittersweet memories. I'm sure they still kept in touch whenever they needed each other but the equation during that period wouldn't have been the same. HS had mentioned that she had stopped coming around and Naeem Bi had retorted saying she had no reason to when all he did was lose himself in alcohol after coming home so late. What mother wants to come back and see her child in that state? It was neither of their fault either. HS' pain was simply far too great for it to be healed with a motherly touch.

Still, they found their way back to each other and though they seemed to have picked up right where they left off, I do want them to address the place they have in each other's life. What their time apart meant for them, how they spent it without each other, what they mean for each other now and how that place will never change no matter what situations are thrown their way.

When HS finds out how Irfaan is treating Naeem Bi, he won't stand it. For Irfaan to even think about selling Naeem Bi's house and then to take her away so that his own selfish desires can be fulfilled? Hell no! There's no way HS will let his mother be mistreated this way. He couldn't intervene before, but he will have no problem doing so this time around because he will be confident in his role as a son. After all, Naeem Bi has given him the status of being her first son, so why should he shrink away from the responsibilities that come with this role? Not to mention, Naeem Bi's refusal to leave her home will give him further reason to stand up for her.

All in all, this mother-son rishta is way too precious for me. I sincerely hope ki kissi ki bhi nazar na lage inko. <3

Pehle to Gur, aapke liye bada wala 🤗

You said everything that I've been wanting to about NB and HS. I don't know if they will get so much focus on their bond here but I really really hope we see some of what you've mentioned, in particular a conscious attempt on HS' part to make the most of this second chance to be a son. It's amazing how we've inferred all this about NB and her suffering without long conversations, rather through small sentences inserted here and there over the months, and have been able to form a picture of what she must have gone through.

@bold, yes it was and I think NB herself feels that she couldn't get through to him or do enough for him.

I want them to have some heart to hearts, not just in this matter but also for him to go back to her for advice as he has always done before the wedding. That pre-wedding conversation also needs to be completed, but right now I want the focus to be on her issues and not his. I think at this point he's the only one who can understand her and whom she can really open her heart to. She must be hurting so much! I also do hope the issue about her husband abusing her comes up - HS alluded to it after the court scene but I would like them to dig into it a bit more. Why did someone like NB put up with it? Was she also like Babita when she was younger? Did she ever feel majboor? Or did her husband eventually become like HS and learn to respect women?

I also agree that as her son it is HS' responsibility to do right by her and give her whatever support he can and more. NB is an independent, strong woman, and there won't be many opportunities in his life where he gets to do something for her. Mamta ka karz can never be repaid but if he can do his bit that would make him feel so much better. She has not only been his mother but also his guide and mentor in so many ways. I hope he refers to his mother too here and some of what he said to Minnie about doing penance for keeping quiet when both his mothers suffered.

I know what you mean about NB not being able to see her son in that state. The scene where she first walked into his house was where she scolded him but we kind of understood how she felt about him wasting his years away, and then there were others like in the sharaabi scene where you could see the years of worry behind her scolding.

They really are so precious! I love this bond.

Originally posted by: inlieu

I bet she will point fingers at HS and his worthiness as a father. Agar Beeji ne HS ke khilaaf ek bhi lafz kaha na....

Bhai HS chahta tha ki Biji aake rahe Haveli mein.. to ab bhugto.

Biji romance bhi na karne de ibb toh.

😆

Originally posted by: NimbuMirchi

Bhai HS chahta tha ki Biji aake rahe Haveli mein.. to ab bhugto.

Biji romance bhi na karne de ibb toh.

😆

I think he knows it deep down but will think of the humanitarian angle.

Romance? Woh ke cheej hai bhai?

Originally posted by: tk2015

Also, I completely agree. If I can't handle myself, mentally, emotionally or financially, how can I be expected to deal with another completely separate and different human being + their family? Let me learn who I am first.

Absolutely right! (also, I didn't want to scare anyone by what I've written yesterday 😞 just wanted to illustrate a point).

This is BTW a major issue for HS, Minnie and Babita alike. They all have to learn that they can't make or keep someone happy. One has to be happy first and then the relationships of happy people will probably be happy by default. (which of course doesn't mean that one cannot make others miserable)

Originally posted by: _Reka_

Absolutely right! (also, I didn't want to scare anyone by what I've written yesterday 😞 just wanted to illustrate a point).

This is BTW a major issue for HS, Minnie and Babita alike. They all have to learn that they can't make or keep someone happy. One has to be happy first and then the relationships of happy people will probably be happy by default. (which of course doesn't mean that one cannot make others miserable)

@bold exactly. You can have the best family in the world but if you are not happy from within, then no one can make you happy.

Also, HS unable to handle Minnie's anger was the scariest part. He was really holding back but instead has to step up his game real quickly before she does something irreparable to herself or others.

NB is sooo smart and I seriously think she should open up a senior citizens' home at her place 😁 it was also remarkable how NB and Biji were bonding over the fact that their children have emotionally slighted them. And I can connect with Ruksana too, because education and work is important for women to be independent, but with young children around it can get physically and mentally exhausting and Immu is not that old yet