Hanuman Singh's flaws - Page 2

@Sakura, just saw your post - we are thinking along the same lines!

Originally posted by: Sakurablossom

I am wondering too, why is he taking so long for apologizing about that maryada speech? Regardless of his plans about any relationship with babita, apology is a must. I also don't recall any scene after that event where he showed any remorse for his words?

I honestly believe that any interaction between both should continue only after he apologizes. He has right to not to make any move, but he has to say sorry where it's due.

Exactly.

He was rude to her during the alcohol scene but he acknowledged what he said and flat out told Naeem Bi that he didn't find what he said to be rude or wrong. But here, they've all been giving him a clean pass and have been asking Babes to forgive him / understand why he did it. Which okay, but it doesn't change the fact that he still hurt her.

I'm with Babes on this one. If they want things to carry forward, then he needs to apologize. He needs to know just how much he hurt her. It can be assumed that he knows the extent, but it needs to be vocalized all the same. Something like this can't happen again.

It's easy for everyone else to tell Babes to let it go but the truth is that they weren't the target of his words. They didn't go through what she did. And if Babes wants HS to apologize in order for them to establish any sort of relationship, then that's what he needs to do. If he can't be bothered to do that, then Babes can leave. I'm with her on it.

@asmaanixx

I was wondering if it was an ego thing on his side, but now I realize that it wasn't. He's still hurt because he saw or thought he saw that distrust in her eyes when the truth about the case was revealed. That's clouding his judgement and he needs to go and straighten it out, for all his philosophy about respecting ladies.

The last time he asked her to leave him alone (because of Minnie) he did apologize to her the next day and was sincere about it. This time he's just completely standing behind some new walls he put up.

Hi Inlieu- Just caught up with this week's episode. The Journey from Imarti to Babita has been a big one for him.

HS could say a lot of things to Imarti and she wouldn't take it from him. She would either retaliate or make it clear to HS that she didn't like it. With Babita, the case is different. She takes every word of HS seriously and doesn't know how to handle this. Result is she goes into a shell and then the cold war comes back to the surface.

Babita will either have to understand the intentions of HS when talks like that or HS will have to modify the way he says things. When he said about "Paraya Mard", she should have said that "Aap toh Apne Ho". she can diffuse the situation by saying all this. Mini has the power but she doesn't. Hope this changes after marriage warna toh HS ki Wat lagne wali hai.😊

Originally posted by: inlieu

By others, I meant people outside his close ones. To outsiders he's an honest but tough cop.

I also agree that whether or not they have a relationship, or whatever signal Babita gives him or doesn't he has to apologize to her. Especially now that the situation has been sorted out, he has no reason not to. Even if they were to remain tenant-landlord or she were to leave, he owes her that out of basic decency, forget being a lover. I am speaking about his quota of amends... For sure, Babita has to fix some things too but that's not the scope of this topic.

Yes, I agree that he can't sweep things under the rug. This has hurt both of them in the past because they didn't talk about issues - they thought they were putting them behind and moving on, when in fact the issues were festering in their minds even much later as evidence by their front-door spat the other day.

I think he is being firm on the outside this time because he is afraid for himself and for her but is masking it with this whole "life is good as it is, I'm happy, etc." attitude. He is afraid to change the status quo and afraid he might lose control over his emotions again. The thing is, Babita doesn't know that he has decided not to make a move. So there's this pehle aap thing happening on both sides. I know people have had a go at Minnie in the past for her misbehavior with him and the fact that he put up with it, but of late she has done her best to more than make up for it. He was distant for a little bit but it was soon cleared up the moment she went to apologize.

I don't think he needs to wait for Babita to apologize or approach him or whatever. He is due an expression of apology, a direct one at that, and he should not carry this "debt" around, if you know what I mean. Bringing Pinku back into her life is not sufficient. It needs to be verbalized because the attack itself was verbal and extremely harsh. I want him to address all 3 fronts: Babita as a woman, as a mother, and as an entrepreneur.

Even people who are close to him like Lala and Naeem Bi won't think of taking advantage of HS. It's just wrong.

Oh for sure, Babita has to make amends too. When they were showing those flashbacks, she acknowledged her wrongs as well. I'll be even happier if they both apologize for the things they've done/said.

Your comment reminded me of this gif:

In some situations, communicating without words works effectively but in others, it fails horrendously.

In any relationship, whenever there is a fight, somebody needs to let go and try to extend the olive branch. Prickling issues need to be addressed in a calm manner so that they can get to the root of the problem. As you mentioned, Minnie has more than tried and made up for her misbehavior. She has now gotten to the point where the relationship she has established with HS is of a parent-child. I think it's a bit easier for a relationship like this to be created as the foundation for it was always being created in increments. But Hanita's rishta, while a slow burn, is between that of a man & woman's. It's just different and involves a lot of complexities that a father/daughter's necessarily doesn't.

I agree. And if he doesn't, I will be even more pissed because what the fudge? First he tells Babes to stay within her limits and not take too much interest in a "paraya mard" and then he goes ahead, interfering in her life and tries to mend her broken relationships? If Babes can be faulted for constantly being hot and cold, then HS should be faulted too.

Originally posted by: Tennessean

Hi Inlieu- Just caught up with this week's episode. The Journey from Imarti to Babita has been a big one for him.

HS could say a lot of things to Imarti and she wouldn't take it from him. She would either retaliate or make it clear to HS that she didn't like it. With Babita, the case is different. She takes every word of HS seriously and doesn't know how to handle this. Result is she goes into a shell and then the cold war comes back to the surface.

Babita will either have to understand the intentions of HS when talks like that or HS will have to modify the way he says things. When he said about "Paraya Mard", she should have said that "Aap toh Apne Ho". she can diffuse the situation by saying all this. Mini has the power but she doesn't. Hope this changes after marriage warna toh HS ki Wat lagne wali hai.😊

Yes I agree with this logic of him not apologizing. Though I would love him to do that . But I feel he needs to understand that Babita does take things to heart unlike his previous relationship with Imarti which was on equal terms..a fierce one with words and action.. I remember the words he said to Minnie that one was Babita had to overcome her fears after coming from past relationships and second very aptly his rough side .. his policeman side where he said he can be a tough nut .. Yes he has been patient with Babita earlier and always respectful . He reacted in certain way due to certain condition where he either expects her to confront him or forgive and forget.. he doesn't want to take risk with a person who can be so sensitive to his words. .he might fear hurting her again in future .

And if it's a flaw in him ..I m glad I can point one of that in him..it's quite human and yes it's not ego, it's his love..

Originally posted by: inlieu

I was wondering if it was an ego thing on his side, but now I realize that it wasn't. He's still hurt because he saw or thought he saw that distrust in her eyes when the truth about the case was revealed. That's clouding his judgement and he needs to go and straighten it out, for all his philosophy about respecting ladies.

The last time he asked her to leave him alone (because of Minnie) he did apologize to her the next day and was sincere about it. This time he's just completely standing behind some new walls he put up.

If he's hurt about that, then I completely understand but again, he needs to vocalize it. HS has always been honest about his feelings so to see him blatantly lying, that too on a continual basis, it hurts and irks me.

They've both hurt each other very deeply and what sucks is that they both did it on purpose. They both knew exactly what their reactions will do to the other and how broken it will leave them. I don't think Babes did it with the intention of getting back at HS but she did use it as an easy way, and by constantly saying, "I don't know him", "I don't trust anyone these days", she's in a sense erasing or discrediting everything he has done for them. I could be reading all of this wrong though.

This also has been the longest time they've went without speaking to one another, that too after a major fight. Rather than holding onto grudges, or just sweeping them aside, they need to address the underlying issues so that they don't crop up again.

Originally posted by: Tennessean

Hi Inlieu- Just caught up with this week's episode. The Journey from Imarti to Babita has been a big one for him.

HS could say a lot of things to Imarti and she wouldn't take it from him. She would either retaliate or make it clear to HS that she didn't like it. With Babita, the case is different. She takes every word of HS seriously and doesn't know how to handle this. Result is she goes into a shell and then the cold war comes back to the surface.

Babita will either have to understand the intentions of HS when talks like that or HS will have to modify the way he says things. When he said about "Paraya Mard", she should have said that "Aap toh Apne Ho". she can diffuse the situation by saying all this. Mini has the power but she doesn't. Hope this changes after marriage warna toh HS ki Wat lagne wali hai.😊

Hi! Nice to see you back on here.

HS has always said he is a direct and straightforward person, which is why I expect him to continue to be this way, i.e. be honest and open about what he feels.. Over time, he has to be more sensitive towards Babita and she has to be less sensitive to his words and more vocal when she is unhappy about something. They need to compromise if they end up in a relationship. But for now they should be thinking "let's get this thing sorted out".

That's why it's so important for both of them to realize that Imarti Imarti thi and Babita Babita hai.

Babes needs to apologize to HS too for a lot of things she has said and done in the past. But she did not. Yes, she thought about them in her mind but was never vocal.

Similarly, HS can apologize for the paraya mard remark.

Since I don't remember all the lines, I don't know if it has ever been shown as Babita telling Mini or anyone else that HS is apna. If not, he is "paraya" .

I like Mini in this regards. She says things, feels bad and apologizes. That is why HS Mini bond has grown strong.

Unless Babita starts communicating, she will never be where Mini is. And it is unfair to expect HS to understand all the time what Babita is thinking in her mind unless she is bit more verbal.

Their married life will be a test. As husband wife, we say things to each other. Sab kuch dil se nahin lena chahiye. Otherwise, shaadi naam ki gaddi ka chakka kabhi hilegi nahin. This is something I have learned from my marriage. 😊

Originally posted by: asmaanixx

Even people who are close to him like Lala and Naeem Bi won't think of taking advantage of HS. It's just wrong.

Oh for sure, Babita has to make amends too. When they were showing those flashbacks, she acknowledged her wrongs as well. I'll be even happier if they both apologize for the things they've done/said.

Your comment reminded me of this gif:

In some situations, communicating without words works effectively but in others, it fails horrendously.

In any relationship, whenever there is a fight, somebody needs to let go and try to extend the olive branch. Prickling issues need to be addressed in a calm manner so that they can get to the root of the problem. As you mentioned, Minnie has more than tried and made up for her misbehavior. She has now gotten to the point where the relationship she has established with HS is of a parent-child. I think it's a bit easier for a relationship like this to be created as the foundation for it was always being created in increments. But Hanita's rishta, while a slow burn, is between that of a man & woman's. It's just different and involves a lot of complexities that a father/daughter's necessarily doesn't.

I agree. And if he doesn't, I will be even more pissed because what the fudge? First he tells Babes to stay within her limits and not take too much interest in a "paraya mard" and then he goes ahead, interfering in her life and tries to mend her broken relationships? If Babes can be faulted for constantly being hot and cold, then HS should be faulted too.

I agree! Whatever it is, HS needs to apologize to Babita for what he said that night, then only they should move forward.