Why is Babita wrong? - Page 2

My biggest problem with Babitha is her attitude towards Minnie. Minnie has always kept her mother's happiness above hers. But I have never seen Babitha doing the same. During her divorce she refused to take alimony and maintenance which could have been a great help in building Minnie's future. It was because of the same self respect of her.Inturn Minnie had to sacrifice her dream of studying abroad. Later she left garment's job without thinking for a second about her daughter's college fees. What if HS had not got her catering contract? How would she bear expenses of Minnie's studies? Then she started earning. If I were in her place the first thing I would have bought would be a camera for my daughter with my first paycheck. Why HS had to do that? Now she is talking about leaving haveli to honour her self respect. Doesn't she realise she is snatching father's love from her daughter? HS may be wrong in his behaviour with Babitha but no one can question the fact that he has been a great father for Minnie. Why can't babitha keep her daughter's happiness above her self respect for once ? She can break all ties with HS, and can even file a case against him if she wishes to punish him . But I want her to think of her daughter this time. Otherwise Minnie will again be in danger of depression.

Originally posted by: Jiarao

My biggest problem with Babitha is her attitude towards Minnie. Minnie has always kept her mother's happiness above hers. But I have never seen Babitha doing the same. During her divorce she refused to take alimony and maintenance which could have been a great help in building Minnie's future. It was because of the same self respect of her.Inturn Minnie had to sacrifice her dream of studying abroad. Later she left garment's job without thinking for a second about her daughter's college fees. What if HS had not got her catering contract? How would she bear expenses of Minnie's studies? Then she started earning. If I were in her place the first thing I would have bought would be a camera for my daughter with my first paycheck. Why HS had to do that? Now she is talking about leaving haveli to honour her self respect. Doesn't she realise she is snatching father's love from her daughter? HS may be wrong in his behaviour with Babitha but no one can question the fact that he has been a great father for Minnie. Why can't babitha keep her daughter's happiness above her self respect for once ? She can break all ties with HS, and can even file a case against him if she wishes to punish him . But I want her to think of her daughter this time. Otherwise Minnie will again be in danger of depression.

That is only reason why I am also not able to relate to her at times. Minnie has surely done more for her being at such young age.. it was Minnie who took her out of that house where she had brutally being ripped of self respect and yes one can understand hurt she carried being a woman.. Minnie was the one who stood by her rock solid when she went thru trauma of that divorce proceedings. Minnie herself went through mental trauma and we saw Babita changing due to that for better.. but now can't she see how her daughter has found dad's love that she might have yearned for all these years. Minnie's standing by HS inspite of his pushing them both away should have been major giveaway to her about what HS means to Minnie and yes HS leaving drinking for Minnie and his care of Minnie in hospital should have clearly shown Babita how much she means to him as well.

@TM - Your post is well written and I understand your sentiment , being a woman myself I understand why she would distance herself from HS after what he said. Yes she loves him but as she says she doesn't want to impose any relation on him from her side .. and HS needs to do bit from his end to woo her love and trust back but her snatching away his daughter from him will be more harsher punishment for his words .. which definately both Minnie and HS doesn't need at this time..after being through so much in past few days..

I was thinking same, thank you for putting my thoughts in words. I feel Babita wasn't treated fairly. Minnie talks to her like she is a little kid. I know she wants her mom to be happy, but she doesn't see how deeply she was hurt. Her love was rejected, she waited all night just to hear all HS accusations. I know he wanted to protect her, but for someone who started to learn to fly again, he just cut her wings. HS was telling they are friends with Babita, she was telling him everything before, but it took him just a moment not to trust her. I think she is just afraid to be hurt more and is running away. And also I didn't like how HS wants Babita to express her feelings first. Actually I don't want her to do it, isn't it a man's job? From woman's point of view, I would of done same thing.

I understand where HS is coming from. Because she flips and flops and gives him mixed signals all the time, hence him saying that she has to make the 1st move but this was before the flash back.

Now lets see.

Originally posted by: Lakshs

This is long post and sorry this is not to offend anyone....but just my 2 cents:

In the last few days, I heard such negativity about Babita's reactions. Why so? Simply because Imarti came out of our imagination and portrayed a strong and passionate woman? A fairytale eye candy story?

A lot of us when we start our journeys, have desires, outlook, and don't forget a strong backing from our parents in most cases. In Imarti's case she was young strong, bold, did what she wanted, and knew her father would support her no matter what and so, boldly put Hanuman in place on the first night and to her luck, Hanuman was a nice guy who realized his errors right away and embraced her the way she was- gave her the freedom. (We all like to see ourselves like that too). This helped build a beautiful, strong and passionate relationship between the 2 until her death and perhaps beyond. He adores her even now.

Babita's story is a bit different. Remember, her brother saying that she was the dear daughter in the house, however she by nature was simpler and more mellow always caring for others. Fact is there are a variety of people in the world how much ever we want all the women to be strong and bold and what not... next her marriage proved different. If you remember the first few episodes, no one saw to her comfort. She worked for everyone and this was not for one or 2 days or months for 17 years- no joke. She did not have the support of her husband who stood by her like in Imarti's case either which is a big thing for a woman especially in a joint family. And moreover, her parents were nothing like Sardar Singh who would fight until the end for his daughter. And remember they passed away leaving not such a strong younger brother behind. I am not saying that her in laws were mean.

The dynamics change in this situation and the girl is left alone in the world with no one. They become insecure regardless of how strong they were as a child. And I know her strengths as a child keeps popping up now and then after a long time but it takes time- as you see in the after ashok phase with some prompts from Minnie and Hanuman.

One may think there is Minie, but she has become a great source of support only recently. Please don't forget her age. And yes she is sensible and forgives Hanuman for he recently told Babita, but remember she is still young and sees hanuman as the father figure. She really wants this to work for her mom and hence she is quick to forgive. I am not saying she is wrong or that Hanuman is a bad person. But remember her situation. Yes, she has gone through rejection from her dad but what her mom goes through is totally different. I am not sure how to explain but a woman giving everything to a man is so different especially for someone like babita.

It took a Herculean task for Babita to come forward and accept her new feelings and then Hanuman yelled at her saying my space my life etc for stopping him from drinking pushing her away. next day he came and claimed to be Minnie's dad building a relationship and confusing her further and thentelling her to stay within her limits. Paraya Mard is not a small thing for people like Babita to whom self respect is everything. One wrong move and it could have a big negative effect/impact. She was groomed by the society's thought process. She is slowly coming out of the shackles of her fear and accepting life as she wants it and an accusation so deep for whatever reason hit deep in the roots. She has a daughter too she is responsible for who might be a big strong girl with a strong mind and personality. But a mother is a mother. She feels responsible as naive as she might be. It is unimaginable for a mother to take risky steps for a woman who has been shunned and left with no support all her prime life and later to be accused in court by her ex in the rudest way to easily forget everything.

Like I said she has moved past Ashok, she has become independent in many ways, and is bolder. But saying "don't have so much interest in Paraya Mard " by the very man she is ready to move forward and try and build a new life after a lot of hesitation, is no joke.

And why should she stay right now? hanuman is cute and a good man and many positive things to add to these qualities ( I love his character), but he has made it clear that his Imarti is all he cares for. Then why should she sit and wait for something that is not cooking? You and me know Hanuman's feelings but please wear the shoes of a women like Babita and think from her side. It is not easy to just fight and say what do you mean by paraya Mary you are mine when he has not said anything in words and claimed Imari is everything for him.

NB is also portraying a section of well wishers who mean well but may not be looking at Babith's perspective. They look for good endings If Hanuman was hurt in the worst way would we have given Babita this much slack saying she is a good person and loves him, so he should forgive her easily? Kudos to the makers for representing this part of the society as well.

I am once again very impressed with the makers for understanding the true psyche of a woman going through such a situation despite the nice man in her life and a daughter who pursues her to stay, and take a bold stance in the right direction. There is no stupid ego in this but a very deep hurt insecurity and fear that is being portrayed .

This is not just a thought, but is coming from a woman who has gone through the exact circumstances with a 17 year old strong daughter and a 14 year old son. In my case I was much stronger than babita in many ways during my marriage and before but sacrificed everything for the family. It took me more than 4 years to rebuild my confidence and I am still hesitant with moving on with my personal life with another man. And I live in a modern society and still hear so much ...so imagine her state.

Thanks for hearing me out and thank PB TEAM for making this show so realistic and informative to the society at large.

First bolded part

No, not for me. My take on Babita allowing her ego to get the better of her and not standing by Hanuman Singh when he really needed their support just as he had always supported them unquestioningly and not being able to see through his harsh words given the whole context of court papers being delivered and his doing an about turn especially after the pooja where he proclaimed to be Minnie's father had NOTHING at all to do with Imarti or seeing her because she had not even been shown at that time. My stand was after the episode where she walks out of his haveli and Imarti happened after that.

I am not one who would be swayed by fairytale eye candy as you put it. And I am not a judgmental person either. I was just taking the entire context into consideration things that had happened before between them, what all he has done for them, how nice he had been to them, to her and the pooja and the guy who came to deliver the court papers and then what he said to her and the fact that Babita walked out without considering the whole picture and on top of it acting as if she believed he was capable of culpable homicide because at that time she loved brandishing the word around in front of all and sundry. And I still believe she has too much ego and that she doesn;t understand HS at all except when she completed Imartis letter when I felt that she did understand why he could have said such hurtful below the belt things to her but no I was wrong because she is still obsessed with that ONE stray incident where he said awful things to her and doesn;t even remember all the horrible things she has said to him that he totally disregarded such as the camera incident just to cite one example!

Second bolded part

For how long?? How long will she wallow in self pity? You yourself said she has moved on. Then so be it! Ashok is just not worth it for her insecurities to go on and on! And if she is so insecure then why give mixed signals to HS?

She has hurt him deeply by moving out when he needed her the most, her trust in him and she failed. Minnie stayed with him. This is why now he is maintaining his distance, otherwise he would have apologized ages back as he always did. Had he EVER before been rude to her? No. In fact he had always been most discreet and most respectful except the pottery scene when his instincts got the better of him. Didn't he come back running when he heard her song request? Didn't he hover around her hoping for a confession? The reason he wants her to confess first is because he knows her insecurities and wants her to be absolutely sure.

Third bolded part

I am sorry for your bad experience and proud of you for moving on but yes I guess different people react differently.

I too have a terrible past and have gone through even worse things and decided to get separated and brought up two sons all alone without any help whatsoever and faced society at large and decided to never get involved again and am happy with my decision. Well I never did meet a Hanuman Singh. Lol. had that happened I know for a fact that I wouldn't have been like Babita and I know for a fact that just like Minnie I would have seen through his harsh words because I would have tried to understand him thoroughly and not just brought everything to I, me, myself. I would never have deserted him when he needed me the most and I would not even for a milli-second have believed him guilty of killing his adored wife. I would have protected him like a lioness or a tigress who protects her cubs!

Sorry for the long answer.

Originally posted by: Padmajaan

First bolded part

No, not for me. My take on Babita allowing her ego to get the better of her and not standing by Hanuman Singh when he really needed their support just as he had always supported them unquestioningly and not being able to see through his harsh words given the whole context of court papers being delivered and his doing an about turn especially after the pooja where he proclaimed to be Minnie's father had NOTHING at all to do with Imarti or seeing her because she had not even been shown at that time. My stand was after the episode where she walks out of his haveli and Imarti happened after that.

I am not one who would be swayed by fairytale eye candy as you put it. And I am not a judgmental person either. I was just taking the entire context into consideration things that had happened before between them, what all he has done for them, how nice he had been to them, to her and the pooja and the guy who came to deliver the court papers and then what he said to her and the fact that Babita walked out without considering the whole picture and on top of it acting as if she believed he was capable of culpable homicide because at that time she loved brandishing the word around in front of all and sundry. And I still believe she has too much ego and that she doesn;t understand HS at all except when she completed Imartis letter when I felt that she did understand why he could have said such hurtful below the belt things to her but no I was wrong because she is still obsessed with that ONE stray incident where he said awful things to her and doesn;t even remember all the horrible things she has said to him that he totally disregarded such as the camera incident just to cite one example!

Second bolded part

For how long?? How long will she wallow in self pity? You yourself said she has moved on. Then so be it! Ashok is just not worth it for her insecurities to go on and on! And if she is so insecure then why give mixed signals to HS?

She has hurt him deeply by moving out when he needed her the most, her trust in him and she failed. Minnie stayed with him. This is why now he is maintaining his distance, otherwise he would have apologized ages back as he always did. Had he EVER before been rude to her? No. In fact he had always been most discreet and most respectful except the pottery scene when his instincts got the better of him. Didn't he come back running when he heard her song request? Didn't he hover around her hoping for a confession? The reason he wants her to confess first is because he knows her insecurities and wants her to be absolutely sure.

Third bolded part

I am sorry for your bad experience and proud of you for moving on but yes I guess different people react differently.

I too have a terrible past and have gone through even worse things and decided to get separated and brought up two sons all alone without any help whatsoever and faced society at large and decided to never get involved again and am happy with my decision. Well I never did meet a Hanuman Singh. Lol. had that happened I know for a fact that I wouldn't have been like Babita and I know for a fact that just like Minnie I would have seen through his harsh words because I would have tried to understand him thoroughly and not just brought everything to I, me, myself. I would never have deserted him when he needed me the most and I would not even for a milli-second have believed him guilty of killing his adored wife. I would have protected him like a lioness or a tigress who protects her cubs!

Sorry for the long answer.

Indeed well said. If I see what HS did to Babita in one isolated incident , I can understand what TM wants to say completely.. Like Minnie said ki Pass se shayad clear nhi hota , dur se dikhta hain ki HS was more hurt than her while saying those words... Babita needs to have that belief on him for that.. For me yes I would have loved if Babita stayed with HS without Minnie persuading her to be by his side when he said about Imarti's case. A relationship is not just built on love, there needs to be trust too, while Minnie has that so strongly ,Babita didn't show it then. But yes people like her too exists and thus they are lucky to have someone like Minnie giving them that bird's eye views on things ... Everyone learns from their experience and Babita needs to show that growth in her character and especially she needs to do bit more for Minnie at this time.. Here also Minnie is understanding her pain , her hurt while also seeing her hanuman uncle in pain.. She was doing this dual job of keeping both her broken parents emotionally strong.. Why is this expected of her.. Since she is just 17 year old and indeed if Babita has suffered .. She has also suffered along.. I agree with Padma that Babita has been more about herself and her problems.. though only recently she realized that Minnie had gone into depression while taking care of her she claimed to be changed after that..

yes HS has always been there with her as a friend , philosopher and guide.. Remember he is the one who told her at first about why she should move on in life and dare to dream and not be like a cow who is tied to rope and keeps on doing disservice to herself... He apart from Minnie has been her strength whenever she had any doubt or she wanted to share her pain .. and that he has done for her daughter as well.. I am not saying that HS was not wrong.. Yes he was wrong and he needs to apologise for his words to Babita .. but like Minnie said ..she should fight with him on that.. ask for apology and even punish him.. but again taking away Minnie from HS she is going to give them both much harsher punishment..

One thing is that this show has allowed us to see varied perspective on things.. Like I see Padma's views, I also see where TM is coming from , I have myself got a friend like Babita and yes quite funny that lady found a HS in her life as well.. and coincidence was that there was a time when that Man said harsh things to my friend and broke her heart for which reason I came to know and understood.. and it was me then who had given both of them bird's eye view on their situation.. and now they are happily married.. I hope Babita and HS give second chance again soon.. and it seems quite realistic that they would do that.. :)

Nope its all about her ego which has been hurt. She has said worse to him and in the Camera issue she implied that he wanted favours from her.

She never apologised at all but HS put her right.

So my dear its a 2 way street on ego and respect with these two.

Don't cry me woman pride here as its a 2 way street.

Originally posted by: Lakshs

This is not just a thought, but is coming from a woman who has gone through the exact circumstances with a 17 year old strong daughter and a 14 year old son. In my case I was much stronger than babita in many ways during my marriage and before but sacrificed everything for the family. It took me more than 4 years to rebuild my confidence and I am still hesitant with moving on with my personal life with another man. And I live in a modern society and still hear so much ...so imagine her state.

Thanks for hearing me out and thank PB TEAM for making this show so realistic and informative to the society at large.

I'm so sorry that you had to go thro' tough times in your life.. and I'm glad that you had the courage to break away from bad relationship.. taking your kids along with you. 👍🏼

Originally posted by: yelkar

I was thinking same, thank you for putting my thoughts in words. I feel Babita wasn't treated fairly. Minnie talks to her like she is a little kid. I know she wants her mom to be happy, but she doesn't see how deeply she was hurt. Her love was rejected, she waited all night just to hear all HS accusations. I know he wanted to protect her, but for someone who started to learn to fly again, he just cut her wings. HS was telling they are friends with Babita, she was telling him everything before, but it took him just a moment not to trust her. I think she is just afraid to be hurt more and is running away. And also I didn't like how HS wants Babita to express her feelings first. Actually I don't want her to do it, isn't it a man's job? From woman's point of view, I would of done same thing.

I'm sorry but since when expression of love first became a 'manly' job? That's so stereotypical. Why can't women Express love first? Okay, forget the confession. She can give him a green signal whenever she wants, that she is ready for this relationship. Why HS has to initiate things everytime?

She isn't wrong.

I like Hanuman Singh the most in the show after Mini. But what he said to her about "paraye mard mein itna interest na dikhao" is so below the belt comment. He ripped her character apart. One day he gets close to her and next day, blames her character. Isn't the same what Ashok said to her during court case.

Any self-respecting women will think 10 times before going back to this guy.

Even after him saying such words, She stood by him and interpreted Imarti's letter to her father. That was her support.

Except this support, She doesn't have anything left in her to give it to him at the moment. What if she takes the initiative and confronts him, he turns around and says - paraya mard again. What then?

Hanuman Singh has to realize the extent of his hurtful words and apologize first for them to move on to anything.