Originally posted by: milkcakejamun
I'm a firm supporter of open discussion and sharing opinions. Full disclosure, this post is entirely about why I left Pandya Store approximately 8 months ago, and why I have a hard time of watching the episodes everyday. This post will not be celebrating the show/characters, so if you don't want to read this opinion, please ignore the post. However, if you want to know why I left/the reason why I don't particularly enjoy this show anymore, please continue on ahead. By all means, feel free to share your opinions since you might make me change my stance on things.
Disclaimer: Before reading this post, you have to know certain things about me to determine whether I am even "qualified" to make the post (i.e., you can't call me "Aunty" without fully understanding me 😆). I am 26 years old, never have been in a relationship (yet counseled friends and family about relationship issues), and I have lived in America for the past 22 years. I have watched ITV, American shows, Asian shows (Korean, Chinese, Taiwanese, Japanese, Filipino, Thai), Turkish shows, French shows, and even Spanish shows. I have read over 1000 books authored by American, Indian, Chinese, and Korean authors , and I have even picked up writing myself. I'm a medical student who has the privilege of talking to patients and learning about the family dynamics they face (i.e., difficulties raising a child with special needs, relationship difficulties due to cultural, ideological, and experiential differences) as well as the bullying they go through. I am well exposed to the DSM-V which is a set of clinical guidelines to determine whether patients have psychiatric diagnoses that need to be treated. So, it is your wish, if you still want to discredit my opinion because I am just an "Aunty", that is your right and I won't argue with you (I'll just carry the "Aunty" tag with pride 😆).
Okay, if you made it thus far, here is the beginnings of my thoughts and opinions. I know some of you do not like comparisons of the OG show and the Hindi re-make, but it is critical for me to compare the shows since the differences also make up a large part of why I left.
Every large commercially hit storyline has just three basic core components:
1. A large part of the audience finds the characters in the story relatable
2. The storytelling is narrated in an entertaining manner, evoking a wide range of emotions from the audience from happiness, sorrow, humor, and jealousy
3. There is character growth with each and every arc
To begin, Pandya Store had the first two components. A lot of the characters had relatable storylines should they be properly explored:
Gautam: Had to become the "head" of the house at a young age because of his father's death and his mother's disability. Had to raise his three child brothers, and lost the most exciting moments of his 20s due to the responsibilities he faced. Was rejected by a girl because he was "poor" and married a childhood friend who he trusted, yet had no romantic feelings for at the moment.
Suman: Lost her husband and was betrayed by the greed from her brother's wife. Had to become bedbound witnessing her children grow up, yet not be entirely involved in their development because of her disability. Faced a daughter-in-law whom she didn't like, especially since said daughter-in-law had greater significance in her sons' lives than either her at some points.
Dhara: Was the daughter to a criminal. Married at a young age and had more responsibilities than someone should shoulder at her age. Faced ridicule and contempt from her mother-in-law which never truly improved despite all the love she tried to send her way. Sacrificed starting a family with her husband because she didn't want her child to overshadow the needs of her husband's brothers.
Dev: The "perfect" child who was smart, handsome, and fit. He was blessed in every such manner, yet he knows how much his family sacrificed in order to educate him. He feels guilty his family had to sacrifice so much for him, yet at the same time, he wants to live life for himself and marry the girl of his choice. (I personally relate to Dev in the sense that my family had to give up a lot for my education. I always have a sense of indebtedness to my parents and sister because of this, but at the same time, I have my own desires and goals, so I wonder if it's alright for me to be selfish for my own happiness or whether I should just give in to my family because they are the reason I made it this far)
Rishita: The spoiled "princess" who grew up rich her entire life. Her father ensured her she would never have to lift a nail, and she was used to a life filled with pleasures. She fell in love with the handsome Dev, and felt the love between them would be enough for her to survive below the luxurious she was used to. But, unfortunately, her new family is entirely more restrictive in their ways. As much as she wants to continue living in luxury, she doesn't want to lose the man she loves. She is jealous and insecure of Raavi because she knows Raavi is adjusting, lovable, and sweet, and wonders whether Dev and Raavi shared a history together in all the years they've known each other.
Shiva: The angry, young man who lost a lot in his life. He witnessed how monetary greed was able to overtake his entire happiness, and he made a mental promise of protecting his family so greed could never ruin their happiness again. He gave up his education so Gautam could breathe and live his newly married life, and he gave up his right in choosing a partner because a little part of him understood Dev's selfishness. But, he was angry at the world for not recognizing the pain and suffering he had to go through, so he had an explosive temper that was known to the world.
Raavi: Just like Shiva, she is a woman who has lost a lot in her life. She lost her parents at an early age. She always craved for familial love and for a partner who would accept her every flaw. She had a "dream man" who was at her fingertips, but was pulled away from her in the most brutal manner possible. To hurt her even more, she ended up marrying the man who hated her the most. As much as she loved being a Pandya bahu, she was further away from gaining the love she desired most.
Krish: The absolute baby in the family. He was very young when his father passed away, so he never was able to truly understand fatherly love, and his mother was bed bound as far as his memory stretched, so the first form of fatherly/motherly love was from GauRa. As the baby, he is entirely spoiled. He wants to be rebellious, but he knows he will be caught, so he becomes more fancy with how he blackmails his older brother Shiva. He just wants to live out his youth, and he hopes his family won't stop him.
In short, every single major character has some sort of aspect that the general audience can connect to. Whether you've made sacrifices for your family, whether your in-laws were much more demanding than you expected, whether you've felt guilt about your decisions, or whether you think the elders are crazy for restricting you, there is a character for everyone. And that's what makes this story very appealing!
In the early days of the show, there was a wide range of emotions that were invoked as well. No one can forget the heart wrenching episodes of the ShiVi and Dev/Rishita wedding. We saw Raavi's initially happiness and then Raavi's immense sorrow in just a span of episodes. We all laughed during the initial prank Shiva and Krish played on Rishita, and we all cried out in foul when Dhara beat them. We all were making predictions of how Shiva would turn into the best Pandya patni because of his unconditional love for his family; and should it extend to Raavi, she would be showered in the love she always craved. This forum was buzzing with opinions/theories/and predictions, and that's exactly how a successful show should be!
This show had the potential to be the best show on the network, even the best show of the decade. But the poor script writing and the terrible creative heads and preventing this story from becoming anything more. Unless this story takes a leap, I have no doubt there would be no significant increase in the TRPs.
Why? Because in the eight months I have been gone, there is absolutely zero character growth. Now, I will have to say, after the Dhara beating episode, I had no interest for the other characters except ShiVi, and those two were the only reasons I lasted until November 2021. But, it absolutely sickens me that there is zero trust, love, and affection between Shiva and Raavi. I entirely believe there is only some sort of lust and nothing more of deep significance.
Let me remind you, the core essence of ShiVi's love story was how a boy, who was battered in pain and anger, met a girl who soothed him from his sorrows. In return, he showered her with more love, happiness, and support than she could imagine. That is their story. It was never supposed to be about a story of an angry boy who married a subservient girl who caters to his every need.
The significance of the Kanwad Yatra fight was to reveal Shiva's deepest insecurities. In this childhood, he made a ton of sacrifices for his brothers' and family's happiness. But, in the process of all of that, he became someone that was "unwanted" by societal standards. He had no significant education. He labored in the store, covered in all types of grease/masalas, and he had no sense of societal expectations (as he never adjusted his personality or dressing sense to fit others' needs). He was the "beast" of Somnath, and he was entirely accepting of the fact. But at no point did he fathom that his decisions then would hurt him now. The carefree attitude he had is the reason his wife would "never" love him. Because in her eyes, she wants a perfect "prince charming" but he knows he is nothing more than a "beast". What he doesn't know is she doesn't care about those things and just wants him for him. But of course, their explosive fight makes them question their relationship.
The aftermath was supposed to be how they sort out their emotions. Should they be together because their families want them to be together, or should they be together because they want to be together and are willing to sort out their differences? This was the turning point of their relationship, and these episodes were supposed to set the pace for their future characterization. Because after this, there was supposed to be no more insecurities, jealousy, or major misunderstandings between them.
But, a year later, the same misunderstandings exist between them. Shiva is insecure when Raavi is talking to other boys. Shiva is jealous when Raavi's attention is not on him. Shiva cannot comprehend how Raavi's addiction on SM began because in his mind he loves her, yet she thinks he is criticizing her.
I'm sorry, but creative heads, are you serious?!?! In one year (a divorce and re-marriage later), you are showing the same scene of the Kanwad Yatra again with minor differences? What was the point of the initial Kanwad Yatra? What was the point of their re-marriage if there is still no trust between them? Where is the growth of Shiva's character? Because ShiVi's love story cannot progress until Shiva grows out of his anger and learns to trust Raavi for who she is. Raavi's happiness depends on Shiva (at least from how I've interpreted the story).
If I were the writer of the story, it would have been very, very different. After the Kanwad Yatra, I would show a scene of Shiva and Raavi speaking about their expectations moving forward. Both of them agree to continue the relationship because of their families (at core level, they put their family happiness over their own personal happiness), but know that there will be no love between them. Now that they know not to expect love, they are much more cordial with each other. They still fight, but it's much more tame since their anger is not blinding them anymore. They would later become attracted to each other during the bike teaching (physical touch), Shiva schooling (Raavi admires Shiva for the love he has for his family and realizes this is a trait she wanted in her husband, and Shiva falls in love with Raavi's persistence of seeing him succeed since this is the first time someone cared about his happiness over others), and Shiva and Raavi's first wedding anniversary should have marked a new beginning. A beginning where Shiva confesses his love and promises to love Raavi unconditionally.
This SM track would have been so, so much better if Shiva was unconditionally supporting Raavi into becoming a social media star. He could've been the one to manage the camera as she films. He could have been her defacto manager managing her contracts/works. He could have shopped with Rishita in picking her outfits, and he could've even learned how to choose makeup/apply makeup (as that would have been progressive and interesting to watch). When the entire town of Somnath suspects Raavi of "cheating", we should've of seen a scene of Shiva standing his ground saying, "My wife would never do something so baseless. I don't care who she interacts with and who she has to touch when she films her scenes. Because I know that my Raavi only loves me, and she knows that I would only ever love her."
And don't think that this characterization is impossible because Shiva's transformation happened in both the Tamil and Telugu versions. In fact, there were times when Shiva supported Raavi unconditionally even when the entire family suspected her. The whole reason why I watched the Hindi show was because I saw the ring scene in the Tamil show where Kathir defends Mullai even though he doesn't know the whole story. I saw that love and respect and I couldn't wait to see it in Shiva and Raavi, but even after one and a half year, this show has stagnated in terms of character development (actually, I should say regressed since every character is a worse version of who they were before other than Raavi (but that's also because she had no purpose other than to be Shiva's wife so idk)).
Healthy relationships should be promoted, because when you only see unhealthy relationships, you begin to think the unhealthy behaviors are the "norm." I know this is just a TV show, but millions of people across the world watch this and learn from what they watch. Some people are able to call out on the BS and are not affected by such things. But others clearly can't see between right or wrong. They think a woman's role in the house is to serve the family, take care of the kids, and uphold the family name while the man works to earn money, but guess what? Our ancestors have fought so women could do everything a man can do. If she wants to, she can be a housewife, but even in that situation, she could manage the finances, advance her husband's career, earn money with the skills she has through a side job.
If Raavi wants to be a social media star, let her become one. Let her interact with everyone she can so she can grow and form opinions. So she recognizes who she can trust and who she cannot. If she makes mistakes, be there by her side and support her so she never gets hurt again. Don't suspect her, don't criticize her, and by all means, don't crush her dreams!
Also, for all the users defending Shiva's behavior, please open your eyes and look past the hotness of the actor playing the role. Sure, Kanwar Dhillon is a good looking chap, but that does NOT mean Shiva Pandya is a good man or a good husband. The only way you change a person is to point out their flaws, because when you worship someone/move on because they "look" guilty for a couple of seconds, they never change (case in point Shiva who has not changed in the past year).
Please tell me in what way Shiva is a perfect husband? And don't give me the nonsense of, "He stared at her in her sleep" or "He put a blanket on top of her while she was sleeping" or "He stared deeply into her eyes." I put on blankets for patients in the hospital, and go out of my way to bring them juice/crossword puzzles just so they feel comfortable. That does not mean I am perfect wife material for every patient I interact with. I do those things because that's what a mere fellow human who has a heart would do.
Shiva would have been the perfect husband if he:
1: Respected Raavi and supported her through her SM goals.
2: Put aside his differences for Prafulla, and understood that he needs to respect Prafulla because she is Raavi's family
3: Defend Raavi every single time his family or anyone else rebukes her because that is the level of trust he has in her
4: Boasted to everyone he could about how proud he was of Raavi because he loved her that much
5: Quietly explain to Raavi when she is wrong so she can grow and become the better person
Here's a little story. A few days ago, I met a patient who was well into her 60s who was crying and telling me how sad she was. She married a man who never shares her burdens, and who criticizes her in front of the family for small mistakes. She lived with this man because in her culture, it would be frowned upon to apply for a divorce. Unfortunately, years later, her son showed the same hatred her husband showed on her. Her son rebukes her for her olden ways, and doesn't even allow her to come into his house. It was sad because the woman never pointed out her husband's flaws. She just accepted them, and unfortunately her son thought it was acceptable to treat his mother in this manner 😡!
In short, stop defending regressive/harmful/hurtful behavior. Whether it is him throwing food out (which is a terrible thing to do considering how precious food is) or him suspecting his wife and growing angry when she is talking to another man. Because every time you defend the behaviors, you are creating a scene where the actors start to "accept" the behavior, and when the actors accept the behavior, the channel promotes it. Kids, adults, grandparents all watch this nonsense and begin to think it is right for a spouse to question his wife when she is talking to other men. Or that it is right for people to not engage in social media because it is always harmful.
For every single fan girl, if you truly want to promote your star, start demanding the creative heads to change the story line. Don't demand for more ShiVi moments, because in the eyes of the creative heads, it's to have Shiva and Raavi stare at each other and then the next day have a fight. Instead, demand for characterization for everyone. Demand Star Network to promote Raavi working as a social media star, demand the Choubeys to see Suman criticizing Dhara so hard that Dhara realizes Rishita and Raavi have equal worth to her and she is not any better than them. Demand Kanwar and Alice to promote scenes where all Shiva and Raavi do is talk about their expectations.
And before I close this, I wanted to share one last thought which had been bothering me for some time now.
For someone who said, "Raavi naam hai iska," in response to Rishita degrading Raavi in front of a crowd, how in the world is he suspecting Raavi of cheating after a re-marriage? That one dialogue was enough to prove he knew what type of person Raavi was despite sharing all the bad history during their first wedding. Even though he was "forced" into marrying Raavi, ultimately it was his decision. If he really wanted to, he could've walked away. But in the end, he accepted Raavi (whether it was through Bhabi's insistence or not). That was why after the kidnapping scene, we had a soft moment where he lifts Raavi and helps her onto the bed. That was why he caught the piece of the matka. Because somewhere deep in his heart, he knew what type of girl Raavi was.
So, if he knew then, why is he letting his emotions get to the best of him now?
idk, I could go on for hours now, but I'm really frustrated the creative heads and the writers destroyed what would have been a perfect storyline.
Avi🤗 this is exactly why I love you!! And always enamored by your thought process, told multiple times all of last year! I can relate to what you have written.
This post is just love ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
Ye Hai Mohabbatein
Arjun
Sensational South
