Shiva - Raavi Alternate Universe #DT 81 (DT Note pg. 76) - Page 24

Originally posted by: EuphoricDamsel.

How'd I fake it without a purpose man? Its seems so impossible. I don't know I'm not chronically sad/depressed or anything. Anxious? Yes...always been. But I am exhausted with being this sort of a nobody ATM. I just wanted to do something good and make my parents proud and just have a purpose that keeps me up...instead of the stupid scenarios.

I don't have a life, its pretty established. I've not left my house in the longest time to visit anyone or to go out just for fun without an errand. Last time I left the city was in 2021 Jan to get my degree and stuff from the hostel back because it had been sitting there since March 2020.

Mujhe smj nhi aaraha ye kya slump hai...I know I started my prep late in July or something but I started off rigorously. 16 ghante I used to sit straight on the desk, either having class or studying, but phir November mein I don't know what happened I have lost all hope. Koi bhi exam acha nhi kiya hai maine...EK BHI NHI. I scored so pathetic...all the personal growth I did in college went down the drain.

Well, then I'd say it's about making the decision to go out that's stopping you, you know? From personal experience, there's always an excuse to stay at home and just STAY there. When someone suggests a plan to go out, or you think of it, there's always a 100 excuses waiting about why not to make that trip, the effort acting like you're normal is going to take...

But i think it's the first time that counts really. That first time when you think, oh, I don't know what on earth I'm going to do going there right now all alone, but I'm still going to do it. And hopefully, that'll be a good experience and you'll do it again a couple more times and you won't feel like you're forcing yourself to act normal at some point. At some point, you'll just find a new normal that's better than you're current state of mind. But the first time really matters...

You just have to make that decision, there's no two ways about it, I think. ❤️

Originally posted by: VaishnaviG

insta I’d de tera

@_Bookspensandmelancholy zada nhi khulta aaj kl ye bhi lol 😆

Originally posted by: Pottermeow

Well, then I'd say it's about making the decision to go out that's stopping you, you know? From personal experience, there's always an excuse to stay at home and just STAY there. When someone suggests a plan to go out, or you think of it, there's always a 100 excuses waiting about why not to make that trip, the effort acting like you're normal is going to take...

But i think it's the first time that counts really. That first time when you think, oh, I don't know what on earth I'm going to do going there right now all alone, but I'm still going to do it. And hopefully, that'll be a good experience and you'll do it again a couple more times and you won't feel like you're forcing yourself to act normal at some point. At some point, you'll just find a new normal that's better than you're current state of mind. But the first time really matters...

You just have to make that decision, there's no two ways about it, I think. ❤️

Dekho bhaaaiiii...mujhe ab smj nhi aata ki kya hone wala hai theek hai? Main spirall kr chuki hu ab...lol...dekhte hain...🤣🤡

Originally posted by: Pottermeow

Yeah, I'm gonna delete it in a while too. Too many people on the EDT to be comfortable about it.

To be completely honest, I've always been an extrovert on sight, but a closet introvert. In the sense that i used to be very social, didn't hide myself, but had all these inner guards, you know? So i knew how extroverted behavior looked like it was the back of my hand, and i kinda faked it till I made it. Which I've only fine after the second lockdown. Slow progress, but still progress.

That's really not the best advice though... 😒

I'm just putting down some practical stuff for you. I know it's easier said than done - most times I'm not able to follow this myself but if it helps you even 10% then I'll feel like I did something right..

1. First of all, STOP BLAMING YOURSELF. This f**king pandemic has screwed all of us. YOU ARE NOT ALONE! Young people, old people everyone is feeling the effects, mental health is at an all time low. I work with children and families and I see the repercussions every single day including in my own home. It's not been easy, but we're learning to cope. That's what we as a human race do, and have always done. We cope. We find our own ways of coping so you need to find yours.

2. Organize something. Your thoughts, your ideas, your goals, your room - anything. Trust me - the mundaneness of the activity helps. Decluttering also helps. Get rid of stuff you don't need. Donate it to a charity. Or dump it. Either way you'll feel good.

3. Make small goals for yourself each day. It can something really small.

- I will finish this book I'm reading today

- I will find something to laugh about

- I will whatsapp someone I haven't talked to in a while

- I will dance

- I will watch a movie I've been meaning to for a long time

- I will chat with my parents about a childhood memory

- I will take a 10 minute walk around the block

Heck, it can be anything. But achievable. But when you tick it off your list, it will feel good. You'll feel like you've done something. Dekh, scoring in exams is not the only goal in life. These matter too, and when you've added up enough of them, you'll feel more motivated.

3. Online dekho to find some courses you can enroll in. Bohot saare free courses hain aajkal. It can be on anything. Not study related. Learning a language, photography, art appreciation - even Harry Potter! My daughter did a course once on HP and how it can help stem anxiety! Nothing is off limits and people have come up with innovative out-of-the-box trainings and seminars you won't even believe. And so much of it is free!

4. Volunteer! Idk what the situation is in India, but here volunteering is big. And I know in the initial days when I came here I would feel so lonely - I didn't have a job aur sab chale jaate the. the only thing that kept me sane is volunteering. Kuch bhi karo. There are so many organizations who could use help - writing proposals, brochures, content for their website, teaching kids online agar in-person nahi hota to. In-person opportunities hain toh aur bhi accha, but idk because of the covid situation. It's also a great opportunity to meet new people and it keeps you grounded and being more thankful for small mercies. I know this sounds cliched but there are so many people out there with so little. This is even more true in India - I know that.

5. Are you allowed to have a pet? If yes, then get a pet. My doggo is the best thing that happened to me over covid. Before that we didn't even think of it, my hubby was against a pet for the longest time, but now? There's not a day- heck- not a moment that goes by that we are not thankful for that little ball of fur - even though he's anything but little and leaves little balls of fur all around the place! 😆

6. Write more. Keep writing even if it's crappy. Yaar, I'm the most critical of my own work and nothing I write ever looks good to me but I've learned the only way to get out of the slump is to keep writing, and it's also the only way to get better (besides reading). Don't edit, don't check, don't critique. Just write. Let your words flow, even if they don't.

7. Another cliched one - if you have a dream, a goal or something - keep thinking about it. It does not have to be a professional one. It can be a personal one too. Just keep bringing up the image of it in your mind like it will be a reality for you someday. Even if it hurts. Even if it feels like you'll never achieve it. Believe me, having a dream and having it unfulfilled is better than having no dreams at all!

8. Lastly, don't blame yourself. Again. You got this.

(also it's last because mera preaching ka pitara exhaust ho gaya hai! 🤡)

I'm here. I'm good at adopting people. 😆Lemme adopt you too! 🤗

Also adding this -since y'all have been talking about it.

It's absolutely okay to be introverted,

Idk why everyone feels like extrovert hee hona chahiye and they have more fulfilling lives?

It's so not true.

Extroverts are unhappy because they seek their happiness in other people. Introverts stay happy because they seek their happiness within themselves.

If you're your own best company, that doesn't make you a loner or a bore or self-centered. It just means you love yourself best. And that's healthy, believe me, as long as you don't become Gilderoy Lockhart 😆

As for not sharing much of yourself with others - that's okay too. It's good to be cautious and not overly trusting, especially in these times. But when you're in a relationship (with a friend, family, or SO) you have to reveal bits of yourself because it's all about give and take. Nahi toh relationship flourish nahi hota.

I read somewhere recently that Dan Levy (writer and actor in Schitt's Creek, a show I've grown to love) was inspired by this quote - "No one is thinking about you the way that you are thinking about you" or something on those lines and I find it's true. We spend so much of our time worrying about what people think of us, but I find people don't think of us at all. They're too busy worrying about themselves!

Chalo, I'm outta here. Sorry for the lamba gyaan session... 😳😳

Originally posted by: LizzieBennet

Also adding this -since y'all have been talking about it.

It's absolutely okay to be introverted,

Idk why everyone feels like extrovert hee hona chahiye and they have more fulfilling lives?

It's so not true.

Extroverts are unhappy because they seek their happiness in other people. Introverts stay happy because they seek their happiness within themselves.

If you're your own best company, that doesn't make you a loner or a bore or self-centered. It just means you love yourself best. And that's healthy, believe me, as long as you don't become Gilderoy Lockhart 😆

As for not sharing much of yourself with other - that's okay too. It's good to be cautious and not overly trusting, especially in these times. But when you're in a relationship (with a friend, family, or SO) you have to reveal bits of yourself because it's all about give and take. Nahi toh relationship flourish nahi hota.

I read somewhere recently that Dan Levy (writer and actor in Schitt's Creek, a show I've grown to love) was inspired by this quote - "No one thinks of you the way that you think of you" or something on those lines and I find it's true. We spend so much of our time worrying about what people think of us, but I find people don't think of us at all. They're too busy worrying about themselves!

Chalo, I'm outta here. Sorry for the lamba gyaan session... 😳😳

I just had this conversation with my husband about our daughter being an introvert and our son being an extrovert.
Both of us agreed that it is ok to be an introvert and a quiet performer which our daughter is. You don’t have to constantly tell the world how you feel and what your thoughts are. Sometimes limited sharing helps them as opposed to being out there in the open.

Every person is different and there is absolutely no need to compare ourselves with the other person. Each of us have different weaknesses and strengths. In any case always do things that don’t hurt others and definitely live for yourself first and then for the others.

My kids are teenagers and both of us talk to them often about these things as they should never self doubt themselves.

P.S: I am an extrovert but definitely not a Miss know it all, like to talk to people only to learn about new things

Originally posted by: LizzieBennet

I'm just putting down some practical stuff for you. I know it's easier said than done - most times I'm not able to follow this myself but if it helps you even 10% then I'll feel like I did something right..

1. First of all, STOP BLAMING YOURSELF. This f**king pandemic has screwed all of us. YOU ARE NOT ALONE! Young people, old people everyone is feeling the effects, mental health is at an all time low. I work with children and families and I see the repercussions every single day including in my own home. It's not been easy, but we're learning to cope. That's what we as a human race do, and have always done. We cope. We find our own ways of coping so you need to find yours.

2. Organize something. Your thoughts, your ideas, your goals, your room - anything. Trust me - the mundaneness of the activity helps. Decluttering also helps. Get rid of stuff you don't need. Donate it to a charity. Or dump it. Either way you'll feel good.

3. Make small goals for yourself each day. It can something really small.

- I will finish this book I'm reading today

- I will find something to laugh about

- I will whatsapp someone I haven't talked to in a while

- I will dance

- I will watch a movie I've been meaning to for a long time

- I will chat with my parents about a childhood memory

- I will take a 10 minute walk around the block

Heck, it can be anything. But achievable. But when you tick it off your list, it will feel good. You'll feel like you've done something. Dekh, scoring in exams is not the only goal in life. These matter too, and when you've added up enough of them, you'll feel more motivated.

3. Online dekho to find some courses you can enroll in. Bohot saare free courses hain aajkal. It can be on anything. Not study related. Learning a language, photography, art appreciation - even Harry Potter! My daughter did a course once on HP and how it can help stem anxiety! Nothing is off limits and people have come up with innovative out-of-the-box trainings and seminars you won't even believe. And so much of it is free!

4. Volunteer! Idk what the situation is in India, but here volunteering is big. And I know in the initial days when I came here I would feel so lonely - I didn't have a job aur sab chale jaate the. the only thing that kept me sane is volunteering. Kuch bhi karo. There are so many organizations who could use help - writing proposals, brochures, content for their website, teaching kids online agar in-person nahi hota to. In-person opportunities hain toh aur bhi accha, but idk because of the covid situation. It's also a great opportunity to meet new people and it keeps you grounded and being more thankful for small mercies. I know this sounds cliched but there are so many people out there with so little. This is even more true in India - I know that.

5. Are you allowed to have a pet? If yes, then get a pet. My doggo is the best thing that happened to me over covid. Before that we didn't even think of it, my hubby was against a pet for the longest time, but now? There's not a day- heck- not a moment that goes by that we are not thankful for that little ball of fur - even though he's anything but little and leaves little balls of fur all around the place! 😆

6. Write more. Keep writing even if it's crappy. Yaar, I'm the most critical of my own work and nothing I write ever looks good to me but I've learned the only way to get out of the slump is to keep writing, and it's also the only way to get better (besides reading). Don't edit, don't check, don't critique. Just write. Let your words flow, even if they don't.

7. Another cliched one - if you have a dream, a goal or something - keep thinking about it. It does not have to be a professional one. It can be a personal one too. Just keep bringing up the image of it in your mind like it will be a reality for you someday. Even if it hurts. Even if it feels like you'll never achieve it. Believe me, having a dream and having it unfulfilled is better than having no dreams at all!

8. Lastly, don't blame yourself. Again. You got this.

(also it's last because mera preaching ka pitara exhaust ho gaya hai! 🤡)

I'm here. I'm good at adopting people. 😆Lemme adopt you too! 🤗

I Love You SO Much. ❤️😭

I read it all...I am just too overwhelmed and exhausted to write down. Is it okayyy? I hope so. But I love you.

You guyss are all so precious I can't stop the tears-

I love y'all. ❤️