She stood there, watching as Shiva, her Shiva, her husband on stage with Disha, collecting the prize for winning the best couple of the couples competition. She had never felt smaller, not when he had pushed her away in front of the entire mohalla, not when he had questioned her character, but now? She had never felt worse. She walked away, her head held low.
Shiva saw her walk out of the event hall, her face a mask of impassiveness, but her eyes? Desolate and empty, her eyes were never empty, they always had some or the other emotion that sparked from the honey brown depths of her eyes, Shiva was terrified, he had gone too far. Too far.
Raavi walked to the Pandya Niwas in a daze, her gown sweeping the floor behind her, her feet bare and there soles hurting thanks to the concrete, yet none of the physical pain hurt her, it appealed to her, seeing the scars and blood on her body made her feel better, there was a source for the pain, she could see where her hurt spurned from. She wanted to cry but there were no tears, just a a heaviness in her chest, she supposed it would be better than the tears, it was not like people cared for her tears anyway.
As she walked towards the room she stayed in, every memory of being ridiculed, taken for granted and just humiliated played in front of her eyes, the aangan where Shiva had pushed her away, the bedroom where he had yelled at her when he was drunk, the entrance of the kitchen where Suman kaki had condemned her parents and her upbringing, Raavi couldn’t stay here anymore, she couldn’t stay at a place where she was not respected.
She packed her bags as quickly as she could, leaving her Sindoor and Mangalsutra, it was not like either of those two things she held dear to her were respected by anyone, The sanctity fo her marriage to the son of this family was ridiculed ruthlessly today, amongst all of Somnath. She left a note, simply stating that she was leaving and to contact Prafulla if she needed to present herself for the court hearing.
She was in the cab, on her way to her parent’s house in Ahmedabad, She had spoken to MausaPaa and had gotten him to book her a ticket to Ahmedabad from Keshod, as she sat back and relaxed she decided it was time to work on Raavi. Gone was the Raavi who thought emotionally, gone was the Raavi who trusted anyone and everyone, gone was the Raavi who loved fearlessly. She had one Achilles heel, her Shiva, but he didn’t need to know that.
Shiva had comeback home, cold dread settled into his being as he saw faint marks of blood leading up to her room, their room. All he found was a note and her Sindoor along with her mangalsutra, She left. They had all broken her successfully, with him delivering the final blow. He slumped to the floor, devastated as the feeling of loosing her sunk into him, wasn’t this what he wanted? He wanted a better future for her, a better man for her, even when she had tried telling him that she wanted him, he was set that she deserved someone better. What she truly deserved was to make a choice of her own, for once in her life, but no, she couldn’t even receive that.
He lay lifelessly against the foot of the bed, clutching her note to his heart. He needed her, only now he wasn’t sure if she even wanted him. He had his chance. He threw it away, on purpose. He couldn’t let her go, even though it was probably the right thing to do, he needed her to listen to him once before he had to let her go, one last time. He promised himself. One last time Raavi, One last time.
Our wounds are often the openings into the best and most beautiful parts of us.
-David Richo
A.N: Okay don’t kill me for this one. I really needed to let this out! also the title of the Drabble means something that is both painful and pleasurable.
Anupamaa
Kyunki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi 2
