Take my breath away: ShiVi FF - Page 69

Originally posted by: LizzieBennet

Tum sab kitne kameene ho! 😡

Update ke liye jaan khate ho 😡 aur jab review maangti hoon toh bolte ho savor karna hai! 🤡

Hayy! Kahan phans gayi main?? 😭 😆

Aarhaaaa bhaiyaaa

Ye 2 part kyu 3 the na?

Mujhe aur maangta 😳

Originally posted by: EuphoricDamsel.

Aarhaaaa bhaiyaaa

Ye 2 part kyu 3 the na?

Mujhe aur maangta 😳

Sorry 'mis' communication ho gaya! 🤪

I meant to say this chapter has 3 distinct parts/ scenes: Shiva at home, Shiva with Raavi and the theater experience, then the Christmas party.

Ab bas itna hee hai 🤡

Baaki ke liye aur intezaar karna padega.

And yes, this is the entire 9000 words. Yakeen nahi to count karke dekh lo! 😆

Originally posted by: Miss.M

Riya!!! I read really quickly and can i just put one word down for now ( because typing my comment on my phone will take too long)

LOVE!!!

Okay longer comment and hopefully part 2&3 tomorrow!!!!

Thank you, Min! Eagerly awaiting your longer and more detailed review whenever you're able to give me one! 🤗

Originally posted by: Kfof

Lizzie, I loved the first part.❤❤

Shiva making his mom understand the situation and coming out of it with respect but not sacrificing himself was perfect 💚💚

Raavi Shiva sneak out 😂🤍🤍

I loved the description and words Raavi used to convince Maami infront of Shiva - for a girl they are so apt 🤎🤎

Waiting for next part💕💕

Thank you! Btw, I never asked your name! What shd I call you? 😳

I hadn't planned on writing that Pandya family scene initially but then I read the WU for the ME and thought I need to fix this family's dynamics a little! 😆 Idk if I was successful but I cannot stomach toxic characters like Suman and cannot abide by how writers sacrifice their own beloved characters at the altar of TRPs! 🤡

I'm also glad Raavi's words to convince Mami sounded authentic to you. I try to put myself in my character's shoes to figure out what they might really want. My writing usually results from that. Every thought and every reaction I put down are built from this. But it works sometimes, and sometimes it doesn't. I think it's completely justifiable having a character act a certain way and then I get readers challenging what I made them do (like it's likely to happen with this update) and then I'm left stuck. Most often it's not cerebral and it's more of taking a plot in a certain direction because only I know the future trajectory of the story.

Thanks for reading , dear! 🤗

Originally posted by: Kfof

First of all - Oh My God!!!! OMG!!! I swear I did nit expect kiss to happen so soon and in this chapter but that was so HOT🔥🔥🔥

Now from starting -

Disha - Mahn how can she make herself joke infront of Man and try to kiss forcing him but I was actually laughing and pitying her😂😂🤭

Shukla Aunty - Sloppy kisses😂

Raavi entry and Both are floored looking at each other🙈🔥

I really loved the whole song sequence - how Shiva encouraged her, what Raavi felt at start and I could totally relate to her as I seriously have stage fear where even thinking of saying infeont of public I used to shiver. The way you have described her fear, her nervousness, Shiva's support, Shiva helping her to the last with singing her and Raavi becamong free was superb ❤❤❤❤

Then Mistotle and Raavi thinking why Shiva does not want to kiss her but the first kiss - mahn to be truthful while reading it I was also so disappointed like Bas!! Itna sa hi!! And Raavi's word to Shiva were fabulous 🙈😂❤ but I like Shiva's concern ❤❤ But before the kiss - it was so intense how Shiva described where he wanted to kiss her 🔥🔥

Then Second kiss - I have no worda for it to write how amazing you had written I could actually feel all the emotions and feelings - it was PERFECT 🥳🥳❤🔥

Last Part - Alongwith Raavi, My heart also broke - I mean you just do not say that after Kissing a girl like you are doing a favor on her. The way you have projected Raavi's pain and anger was perfect. And I like Raavi's attitude of not letting hime get under the skin and last word of war ❤❤❤❤

It was awesome 🤎🤎

Ps - so sorry if I bored you 🙈💚

First of all, you can NEVER NEVER BORE ME with long reviews! If anything, i crave them and my hearts jumps when I see a long, detailed one telling me what you loved and what you didn't in the update. I literally CRAVE for such reviews. So never apologize for it!

I'm so so glad you loved the entire Shiva-pushing-Raavi-to-sing-and-encouraging-her-when-she's-scared-stiff bit of the update. I thought that brought out their characters and their feelings towards each other (especially Shiva's towards Raavi) very well. He pushed her out of her comfort zone and even though she hated him for it, in the end she knew it was a good thing. It had to be, else why would she put it on her list?

I'm also glad you enjoyed their conversation and the build-up to the kiss. As for the last bit, I was inspired by the 365 days gif that Prats posted in one of her reviews. I simply had to find a way of inserting it here! 😆

Yes, Raavi is heartbroken, but since that scene is described from Raavi's pov your sympathies are automatically going to Raavi, and that's okay because the readers don't know yet what Shiva's thinking and feeling in that moment. I'll leave that for the next one may be.

But I'll say one thing - this tussle between them, the one-upmanship, the need to win will keep playing between them. This is what scares Raavi, but it's also what defines their relationship - this constant push and pull dynamic. It will never allow them to relax, and like I've said before, it's what will put the spice into their relationship. So the anger, hurt, apologies, kissing and making up and the deep, underlying passion - all of this is going to keep repeating like a running theme in their story.

Thank you so much for reading and especially for taking the time to write out a long comment! 🤗

Originally posted by: prernapewdie

I felt sooooo baddddddd for raaviiiiiii😭

I mean why would he do that?

I'm glad you're feeling bad for Raavi. It means my writing has had the right impact (and it impelled you to write a comment here instead of being just a silent reader! 😳)

That part was written from Raavi's POV and as a reader, you've only gotten Raavi's thoughts on it. So naturally your sympathies lie with her and that's okay.

Thank you for reading! 🤗 and for taking the time to comment! 🤗

Originally posted by: EuphoricDamsel.

So Imma resorting to comment while reading as I do for episodes everyday!

Haaawwww She just let him go that easily??

I think this is coming more from the place of exhilaration after just having heard the news about Dev! And also, she's excited by the prospect of a night-time adventure with Shiva! 😆

Originally posted by: Suparna2210

Lizzie!!! This story is all kinds of amazing!! I feel lucky to be able to read this! They way you describe each and every situation and emotion is >>>>>>>>

I’m loving the push and pull and their changing dynamics! Waiting for further updates!!🌸🖤

Thanks so much, Suparna! I'm humbled that you think my story is worth reading.

And I'm so so happy you noticed the push and pull dynamic between them which is kinda the cornerstone of their relationship, don't you think?

Thanks again for the comment and I hope to see your comments in future updates as well!

Originally posted by: EuphoricDamsel.

Okaaay first of all we had a spine wala Shiva in the show up until a month back where they ruined him like no one's business...Moving on. This Shiva reminds me of him. The Shiva we all fell in love with because even if he was hot headed he still stood for the right whenever necessary. I loved him manaaofyying Suman. Like a level headed man. Young but also mature in ways that only show on occasions.

I think this is my Shiva and I put down this scene precisely to refute those showrunners and writers that you don't need to sacrifice beloved characters at the altar just for cheap TRPs and because you're too lazy to think up of effective, plausible plots!

This scene was not needed in my story at all, and you all must have realized it's going to be more about ShiVi. All the rest are ancillary.

“It was my own ass I was saving,”

If it your own ass you're saving and you cannot see her with anyone else please tell me you're up for commitment because I sense that you're not and you want her SO MUCH you might as well sleep with your insides curled with need to hold her close.

He is! And it's freaking him out which is why he doesn't know how to behave around her.

I KNEW THERE WAS SNEAKING UPCOMING! I SENSED IT!

And I sensed it right. HAHAHAHA. Everyone in PS universe knows how much I love him sneaking in her room and how I crave it in stories. I loved him sneaking and her getting worried but I wanted him to pine a bit more for forgiveness. Mujhe thoda aur manaana maaangta tha haan. She said thank you to him very easily. Which is gonna mean nothing because he gonna be incorrigible AF again.

Why the Shiva hate, meri jaan? I can sense from the review that you're a Raavi stan!

For a minute I heard every woman in Raavi when she gave her monologue.

Yep. It's just so all of us.

I have a feeling this Disha business is gonna come and bite him in the ass.

[Ughhhh he shouldn't have done the movie thing he gonna fuel the feelings she has and then he wouldn't be willing to give her the commitment she wants and = lord save her from the hurt]

Assumptions are the very devil. Cease and desist, I command you! 😎😈

Okaayyyy so this was the scene you wanted Disha in for? Sooooooo we done with her? She gone? Or she gonna be back?

I haven't thought through that yet. But we know how Shiva feels about her so there's no real need for Disha hate, is there?

Dress and knee high boots? She gonna reduce him to pulp. Aaahhh the self conscious bit, the little things, always the little things that set the preset.

that’s my man, hands off!

Woahhhh woman! My man? Your man will break your heart in 30 mins stat.

Again- low key Shiva hate. Why? 😭

He silently berated himself for putting her in this position.

Yeah I did too until I found it was on her list. Sigh the FBs of Never have I ever. Sigggghhh// The confidence boost and making her loose her fear on stage? Massive plus point man! Not many would have cared. No one actually would have cared until it was someone who knew her inside out and since years. Shows care.

Yes it does and pride at her triumph shows so much more! He wants her to succeed, wills her to and enables her to. Only someone who really cares selflessly is capable of this!

you’re so beautiful and I want you so much it hurts.

Then for the love of god say it but also don't because the minute you open your mouth everything goes south. Shush we'll work on that.

He's not gonna say it so fast. Also because they're each waiting for the other to say it first. Hello, competition!

Okayyy I know he was stopping him from kissing her because he'd really screw her up [and rightly so] good going. But we all know how that ended. I didn't expect her to get on and go head on with Disha. I thought she'd lurke and lay it on. She impressed me.

“Do you want to know what those kisses and hugs mean, Raavi? Exactly nothing. I let those women kiss me platonically because I feel nothing for them!”

My stupid heart jumped. Ik I'm pathetic. It shouldn't have. Wretched stupid heart//

“Yeah, Krish and I call her ‘The Octopus’."

I didn't understand my fuse has been off since yesterday and for some reason none of the innuendos register mannnn...What;s wrong?

It's because she's so handsy! 😆

“Because with you it wouldn’t be platonic. Because I wouldn’t be able to stop at just the one kiss.”

It started from here. My erratic heartbeat. It started here. I just- I...Nooo...Imma stay shut. Its too much of belonging and putting a plain simple girl on a pedestal above all he'd ever had and yet hurt her in the end.

Noo. Really. This review is breaking my heart! 🥺 I thought I was writing a layered, flawed character here but instead I have made everyone hate Shiva and I just can't imagine where I went so wrong 😭

Its something I-...Nevermind. We move forward aaaannnnnddd BAM!...He gives a choice. Heart, all my heart. Asking..letting her make a choice. Why don't people learn this?

Yes agency is all important and lets her decide. Except for the kiss where he decides what kind it will be. Until she decides for him.

“Is it your wishlist? I don’t check all the boxes, do I?”

Oh My lovely lovely lovely girl. My poor baby. A mini heartbreak before the actual one.

This was Raavi at the heart of her insecurities and her feeling that she's not enough, and will never be. Her feeling that she's not desirable enough for a man to want her.

Ohhhh she went in for the KILL. Riled him up right. I didn't think she was capable. I don't know why she did it. Maybe because she'd felt he could do more and even though he had kept himself at bay she was kind of...like curious...or...full of need?... that she said it was disappointing?...He went wild didn't he? Probably because of how he'd flaunted his experiences before. MEN AND EGO. Arrghhh. Ughhh. God help them and their Karma for actions they do. And he dragged her her...what a sob.

Yeah that dragging bit felt a little OTT to me too, but then that 365 days gif was in my head and yes, men and ego are a stupidly, moronically dumb combination. It was ego that spurred him, but even then he pulled her outside in the moonlight. Because he knew he'd be kissing her passionately and he wanted her to have her wish fulfilled. To me, it shows he wasn't just blindly looking to assuage his ego. He was thinking of her even in the middle of all that drama.

That escalated quickly, the kiss, I mean. I didn't know if it stemmed from ego or from proving a point or from need but it was hot and I LOVED how it transformed to a full blown make out session. He smirked? Ughh. Please someone...just...HE MARKED HER. Holy smokes he marked her. I ask why?? I demand an answer why???

I hope this is a rhetorical question. 😳 It's passion 101.

She really would have given herself to him if she was a little courageous and he hadn't implied what he did later on.

She might have given herself to him. She was certainly thinking it. That said, we don't exactly know what he was thinking in that moment because we read that last bit in her pov.

“God, Raavi! Tell me to stop. Please. Tell me!”

I think somewhere in the middle he lost too. He might have started with a different reason but one taste and he weak. I knew she'd already addressed the fact about her feelings but for him..I don't think he has the slightest clue yet that there are feelings involved somewhere. He just thinks its pure attraction and something else that drives him to think he should be the one to protect her.

I think you're wrong here. He knows a lot more than this and it's freaking him out a little because men process feelings differently than women. I want to ask you this - why do you think he's helping her check off items off her bucket list??? And please don't go by the bullshit reason Shiva gave Raavi at the end of the update!

He has no clue there are feelings involved even from her side and I feel once he gets a whiff of it we having a drama. Which I always ADORE!

Again, I don't know about this. I don't think he's thinking yet about what she may be feeling for him. Right now, for Shiva it's all about his feelings. Raavi is a little more evolved here. She had processed her feelings for him slightly more and is able to move to the next step. The thing to note here is that they're both so possessive of each other. He keeps thinking - She's mine and she refers to him as 'My Man'. Both have experienced rabid, irrational jealousy. They may have more in common than you think!

He must have stepped back because of the faux sense of protecting her from himself and probably knowing she wasn't the casual kind like him and she'd regret it later on. Maybe.

I think he's protecting her from himself, yes but in that moment (in my head) Shiva was shit scared of his feelings for her.

“Item # 1. Be kissed passionately in the rain or in the moonlight. There’s no chance of rain now, but we had the moonlight. You can tick that off your list!”

She almost reeled in shock, and sank to the ground, bewilderment and rage flooding her. She felt like she’d just been slapped. And now she wanted to slap him back. Hard. She wanted to make him bleed.

PLEASE PLS PLS PLS PLS can I do it? I'd love to. What a jerk. Why would you do this? That was a low blow. You know it was her first kiss and you shrugged of any possibility of a sentiment.. even attraction. It was indeed like a slap. Hard and scalding and uncalled. He could have just left...but well.. I almost cried when she motivated herself not to. I would have cried. For a min there she was absolutely SO HURT that I couldn't breath...oh the agony. HE SHRUGGED? THE INSOLENT CAD. I hope he pines and she resists before he gets tears in his eyes. Make him suffer in that ONE WISH that was the first one you sent to me (the nymph one..he deserves it).

Okay, I get all your sympathies are with Raavi here because we do read that part from her PoV and I told myself that was okay. But this is too much vilification of Shiva for me to stay quiet. All I'll say is, you don't know what he was thinking because you didn't read it. You only saw and heard and read through Raavi's eyes.

And that is why it hurt her more because she had willed herself into a fairy land where she thought he couldn't resist her either, forget feelings at least he'd never be someone so inconsiderate. Oh how I've sat there reading with hands to my mouth. This section felt brutal. So he's grinning and shrugging and doing everything and she'd breaking beneath the exterior she put up merely because some idiot refuses to accept the intensity of need he has within himself.

It's not him refusing to accept anything. It's just how they react to similar circumstances differently. The passion between them is affecting them in different ways. Raavi wants to succumb to it while Shiva wants to think it through. I don't think either of them is wrong.

What's her 11th? Make Bhoothnath miserable and BEG for her? I'd love to see that. Truly.

Spoiler alert. It's not that!

My hands hurt but I have to ask ....YOU SAID 3 PARTS??!!!

Haaeeyooollooooo!

This is only two. Where the third?

Mama needs the third part. NOWWWWWWWW

Like I said, that was it. I made a tactical error in saying parts instead of scenes!

Thank youuu for the long ass review. 🤗I can tell you really sweated over it and I do appreciate it, jaanu! ❤️

Quickly before I sleep.

I do not hate Shiva, I just don't particularly like him at the moment because I was reading as Raavi after he pulled her outside. 😳

I am a HARDCORE Raavi Stan. Yes. Was it that obvious? 😆

But no, I don't hate him. I might have had this sudden urge to punch him at a point... But no hate. Yeah.. My heart did break for Raavi..

And imma reply tomorrow because it's 2:30 am. 🤡

Gotta get up at 6:30