I’ll be honest that I have no idea what this is or why I came up with it. But jo bhi hai, I figured might as well post it!
Joothe, chappal (preferably In pairs and in size 8.5) and tamatar welcome. No ande please. I’m a vegetarian 😃
||ShiVi Drabble His Phoolkumari Her Chattan Pandya||
“Raaaavvvvviiii,” Dhara screamed as the knife slipped from Raavi’s hand and sliced through her finger. Blood spurted everywhere as Raavi hissed in pain. “Dhyaan kahan hai tera! Dekh kitna khoon beh raha hai,” Dhara yelled as she caught hold of Raavi’s hand. Where else would her attention have been other than on that witch Disha rehearsing with her Chattan Pandya. She’d been chopping the vegetables with an extraordinary amount of force, as if she weren’t chopping vegetables but a certain girl with a toothy vampire grin who had dared to kiss her Bhootnath and was now sticking to him like chewing gum stuck under your shoe.
Shiva heard Dhara bhabhi yell Raavi’s name and he found the perfect opportunity to extricate himself from the nauseatingly suffocating presence of Disha. It was nauseating, how she was so ultra max pro sweet and nice and patient and understanding. How absolutely dull would his life be with her! Shiva shuddered at the thought as he hurried towards the kitchen. The sight he saw there stopped his heart for a couple of seconds. Dhara bhabhi was trying frantically to control the bleeding from his Chipkali’s finger. The idiot had managed to cut herself badly in her carelessness.
“Ae gadhedi! Dhyaan kahan rehta hai tera? Agar kaam karna nahi aata tho karti kyun hai?” He marched into the kitchen, grabbing Raavi’s hand away from Dhara before marching towards the sink. He held her hand under the cold water and frowned as she winced. Disha and Suman followed him into the kitchen. “Tujhe kya padi hai? Tu jaa na! Apne kaam se kaam rakh,” Raavi said angrily, snatching her hand away. The bleeding came back in full force and Shiva grabbed her hand again. “Apne kaam se hi kaam rakh raha hoon. Yaad hai na? Tu ne hi mujhe kaha tha ki main Chattan Pandya hoon? Aur maine tujhse kaha tha ki jab tu khoon dekhke behosh hogi tho sirf yeh Chattan Pandya hi milega tujhe sambhalne ke liye,” he said, squeezing on her finger in an effort to control the bleeding. “Chal mere saath!” he tugged at her hand to take her to the room. She held onto the kitchen counter and stubbornly refused to move. Suman saw her opportunity, “Arey! Tu rehne de na Shiva. Dhara hai na. Dhara kar legi iski marham patti. Tu jaa aur Dishu ke saath apna practical kar.” Raavi looked at Suman with rage in her eyes. “Practical?” she turned to Shiva, murder written on her face. “Practice, Maa.. Practice..” Shiva mumbled from between gritted teeth. “Tu aise nahi maanegi,” he said, before bending down and scooping Raavi up into his arms. “Shiva.. Kya kar raha hai? Isse godh mein kyun utha raha hai? Pair theek hain iske.. Aur haath ka woh Dhara dekh legi usse.. Arey Shiva! Meri baat sun!” Suman frantically called out to Shiva as he hurried away, carrying Raavi in his arms to their room and shut the door behind them.
“Shivaaa.. Chod mujhe..” Raavi struggled in his arms. He dropped her onto the bed unceremoniously but when she tried to get up and leave, he pulled her back, pressing her flush against him. “Dekh Raavi. Tere paas do option hain. Ya tho chup chaap mere paas yahan baithke marham patti kara le, warna Baba Somnath ki kasam, tujhe yahan iss bistar se baandhke bhi main apna kaam kar saktha hoon.”
Unbidden images raced through her head, of being tied up to the bedpost by him, while he did his “kaam” all over her, deep within her as she writhed beneath him helplessly. Heat pooled in her belly and a gasp escaped her lips. Mortified at the turn her thoughts had taken, she quickly sat down on the bed.
Shiva was surprised that she agreed with him so easily. There was a distinct blush on her cheeks that she was trying desperately to hide. He made a note to revisit this topic as soon as he was done taking care of her wound. Then he remembered the first aid kit was in Maa’s room. No! There was no way he was going out there in front of Maa and that Durdasha. He reached into his pocket and pulled out his handkerchief.
“Aye! Dhara! Bula na usse! Yeh kamra kyun bandh kiya ussne? Bol usko ki bahar aaye. Uske haath pe patti hi baandhni hai na, patti tho waise bhi mere kamre mein hi rakhi hain. Yeh andar kya karne gaya hai? Achcha lagtha hai kya, aise Dishu ke saamne, woh uss maarkundi gaay ko apni baahon mein lekar kamre mein jaaye tho? Aur upar se darwaza bhi bandh kar diya!” Suman huffed, angrily.
“Kya maa! Woh dono pati patni hain. Ab agar woh dono apne kamre mein gaye hain, aur darvaaza bandh kiya hai, tho obviously iska matlab unhe privacy chahiye. Ab main kaise jaake ek pati-patni ko unke private time mein disturb karoon?” Dhara asked, tongue-in-cheek, sending sly glances towards Disha. “Yeh kya pati-patni, privacy laga rakha hai? Talaaq hone waala hai dono ka!” Suman countered. “Maa, aur haan, Disha, tu bhi. Likh ke lelo. Inka koi talaaq valaaq nahi hoga. Arey inka rishtha hi aisa hai. Woh kya kehthe hain? Spark.. Haan, unn dono ka yeh jo gussa hai na, woh hi unke rishte ka spark hai. Abhi do din pehle hi tho hum sab ne inn dono ko aadhi raath ko kamre mein ek doosre ke saath bed ke neeche pakda tha. Tab bhi Shiva aise hi Raavi ko godh mein uthakar lekar gaya tha. Ab aadhi raath ko, bed ke neeche, itni si jagah mein, ek pati patni kya kar rahe honge ek doosre se chipke hue, yeh tho mujhe aap dono ko samjhaane ki zaroorath nahi hai na? Mujhe tho lagtha hai maa, aapko jald hi ek aur khushkhabri milne waali hai,” Dhara added for effect. Suman’s eyes widened and she looked at Disha. Meanwhile, they heard voices from inside and Suman shamelessly leaned closer to listen, as did Disha and Dhara.
“Aaaaahhhh. Dheere kar na, Bhootnath. Dard ho raha hai,” Raavi whined. “Tu na sach ki phoolkumari hai. Pichli baar bhi itne naatak kar rahi thi. Tere saath itni baar ho chuka hai, ab tho tujhe aadat daal leni chahiye,” Shiva replied. “Tere jaisa Chattan Pandya karega tho dard tho hona hi hai na. Itna sakth kaun hota hai?” she complained. “AAAAAhhhhh.. Shivaaaaaaa...” he wrapped the kerchief around her finger real tight and she fell onto him, crying in pain, digging her nails into his biceps.
Suman quickly moved away from the door as did Dhara and Disha. Suman looked at Dhara questioningly and Dhara blushed, nodding her head. Suman then looked at Disha apologetically. Disha said nothing as she took her leave. “Ab chalein, Maa? Ya aapko aur bhi kuch kehna ya sunna hai?” Dhara asked. Suman furrowed her brows in worry. For all the life she had experienced, she’d never come across a couple as odd, weird and volatile as Raavi and Shiva. Apparently, she made him feel inferior, he questioned her character, she slapped him in front of the whole town, he announced a groom hunt for her in front of the whole town and both were heading for a divorce and yet, here they were like bunnies in heat, unmindful of time, place or people around them. What kind of a relationship was this? Suman wondered as she wheeled herself away. Dhara sent a quick prayer of thanks to Baba Somnath before blowing a kiss and warding off evil eyes at the door to Shiva’s and Raavi’s room and skipped away happily.
***
Cricket
Anupamaa
Kabhi Neem Neem Kabhi Shahad Shahad
Kyunki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi 2
