Okay, so today's episode.The utter nonsense I watched at bloody 6 am. What is even going on? Has everyone lost their shit? The way almost every character has been butchered. With a blunt axe. Gosh the utter shit show that it was today? What happened to the makers. Anyway, I got a really good idea, like a full on angsty, dark and Raavi-centric. Hope you guys like it, I will post the first chapter soon! The prologue of sorts is up tho! Do let me know what you guys think about this!
Sciamachy
[ (n.) A battle against imaginary enemies; Fighting your shadow. ]
Prologue
Emptiness. She did not realise the profoundness of that feeling, until it ensnared her being, she was a happy bubbly girl, she did not possess stars in her eyes, but she knew she had her set of goals. She knew what she felt, she saw people struggle with it everyday she understood Sonder. She realised everything, except the consequences of her childish actions.
She did not feel anything, she really wished she did, even if it was pain, she really desperately wanted to feel something, she did not like being numb, she hated it, but at this point she could not even feel the revulsion or the gut wrenching twist in her heart.
It hurt to think of him leaving, she did not want him to, but she knew he would every time. She did not know what to do, all she knew was if he had a choice between leaving and staying he would leave, every.single.time. He would leave. There was no doubt.
She wanted to hope so badly that he stayed. She really wanted to hope, but like their bond the hope kept flickering, on the verge of extinguishing, but she thought with every small thing he may have done, he was maybe bringing hope back to her? Maybe he was. she thought desperately to herself.
But it was not meant to be. He did not stay, he never would. And now she stopped wishing he did, it only hurt.
She wanted this. It was his heart that kept falling, breaking and mending for her, and he was sure it would continue to do so until it stopped beating. Little did she know she did not hold the fortune to have it. Because her own heart was marred, twisted and never allowed to love. And most of her dared not to.
She really cared for him, he mattered so much, but then now she thinks that she is better off without him in her life, she was sick of priorities, he was number one on her priority list, but not anymore, she won’t allow him to do that to her, she knew he was number one, but then again she also knew that she was not on the list at all.
She only felt weak, as if something was snatched away from her. Tired. Of explaining, and of proving herself. She wanted out but knew that it was not the solution. So she kept mum. Her sentences reduced to words and her words reduced to glances.All that was left was a shell. She felt so much that she was now just a hollow seashell in the vast ocean full of emotions, and rarely did the waves of emotion wash over her.
Hands were weak, she needed to hold onto someone. Her mind thought of him and her heart craved for him. Every single time. Yet she did not know if he did. She could only wish he did. Only ever wish he did.
He hurt her so much, she did not want him to hurt her, she told him she was hurt, she told him so many times, but he did not understand, all he did was apologise, time and time again, for a while his muted and loving apologies did work on her, but then it came to her like a whiplash that he will hurt her, every single goddamn time, he will hurt her beyond belief.
He thought to himself that he would not let her go, at least at this point, with that he fell into a slumber exhausted by the day and awaiting a better and brighter tomorrow. Only he did not know that she would never come back, he may not have left her and may have finally decided to hold on, but she may have left him. Once and for all.
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Shiv Shakti
Anupamaa
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Udne Ki Aasha
