"tujhe kya laga? Mai us maami ke liye apni Jaan de deta?" Shiva said smiling at his mother.
Raavi stood rooted to her spot hearing him.so all this was just a drama? Here she was ready to jump into the water for him.she was such a fool to think that shiva was actually so hurt that he would rather take his own life than live with the humilation of not being able to bring back his father's last gift for his mother.
Why was she so naive? Is that why she suffered so much ? Because she believes in the goodness of people.
She was angry, Hurt and humilated.a storm of emotions were brewing inside her, threatening to come out.
Her maasima was looking at her furiously.
She came upto her and shook her.
"Dekh le...ISS junglee ke liye Tu apni Jaan dene jaa rahi thi? Aree use koi Parwah Nahi hai Teri.na tere izzat ki na tere Jaan ki.aur Tu iske liye itna BADA kadam uthane jaa rahi thi? " Her maasi screamed at her.
Raavi stood there with a blank expression, tears flowing out of her eyes.
Her maasi was about to slap raavi, when a hand held her.
Shiva came in between her and maami.
" Ae ...yeh kya Kar rahi hai Tu? " He yelled.
Raavi freed her maasi's hand from his grip and pushed him away.
" Mil Gaye na tujhe tere kangan? Ho gayi na Puri Teri zidd? Ab humein baksh de.ab Tu mere maasi ke Saath iss Tarah badtameezi Nahi Kar sakta." She said furiously.
"Samajhta kya hai Tu Apne aap ko? Mujhe ek pal ke liye laga Tu badal Raha hai, shayad ab saari Zindagi tujhse ladayi Karke Nahi bitani padegi, par Mai galat thi.tu Kabhi nahi badal sakta, Tu junglee tha aur junglee rahega " she said with anguish and hurt in her voice.
Shiva looked away not being able to meet her eyes.
" Raavi..." Dhara came forward to console her, but raavi gestured her to stop with her hands.
" Bas dhara Di, Mai jaanti hu aap Sab mujhse bahut pyar karte ho. Aap logo ne mere special day ko khusiyon se Bharne ki Puri kosish ki.thank you.par ab Mai kuch der akele rehna chahti hu ." She said folding her hands and ran away from there.
Dhara went behind her but shiva held her hands.
" Mai Baat karta hu bhabi " he said.
Raavi went and sat by the lake side, crying her heart out.
Shiva went and sat besides her.
She got up and went to sit on a bench nearby.
Shiva followed her and sat on the ground facing her.she again got up to leave when he held her hands.
" Ek Baar meri Baat sun le.. plzz" he pleaded.
She reluctantly sat down.
" Ab kya sunnne ko baaki reh Gaya hai? Tune meri beizzati ki, ek kangan ke liye mujhe chod diya,meri maasi ke Saath iss Tarah zor zabardasti ki.aur phir apni Jaan dene Ka drama Kiya.apni zidd Puri Karni ke liye koi ISS hadd tak girta hai kya? " She said frustrated.
" Mai yeh Sab Nahi Karna chahta tha. Mai to shanti se ek kone Mai khada tha.teri maasi ne phir mujhe uksaya.ab Baar Baar koi Tumhare zakhmo ko khurede to kya Hoga? Chup to Nahi baith sakta na Mai?" He said.
" Aur Tu? Tujhe kya Padi thi apni Jaan dene ki? Bahut shauk hai na tujhe Suicide suicide khelne Ka? Agar kuch ho jaata to?." He said angrily.
" Khel tune shuru kiya tha. Aur kya karti Mai? chup chap tujhe Marne deti? Mujhe kya pata tha ki tere tedhe dimag Mai kya chal raha hai." She said.
"To Tu mere liye Bina soche samjhe kud jati? Us insaan ke liye jisne tere Saath itna galat kiya? " He asked looking at her.sometimes her innocence scared her. His heart was in his mouth when she saw her climb up the ledge .he was in no position to save her.her clumsy chipkali could have slipped anytime.he shuddered to think about that moment.
" Hann...aisi hi hu mai.sahi kehta hai Tu. Ek number ki gadhedi hu mai." She said sobbing.
" Raavi..." He held her face not being able to see her tears.realisation came crashing down on him.he was so blinded by his rage that he failed to see the damage he is doing.he had hurt her so badly.
" I am sorry.plzz mujhe maaf Kar de. Mujhe Apne zidd ke age Kuch aur dikha hi Nahi." He said wiping her tears.
" Nahi shiva...aaj nahi." She got up from the bench and faced away from him.
Shiva too got up.
" Koi bhi mere Saath Kuch bhi karta hai aur expect karta hai ki Mai use maaf kardu,Sab Kuch bhul jau.dev ne mujhe Mandap par chod diya, tum logo ne itni badi Baat mujhse chupayi.dhara Di ke kehne par Maine tujhse Shaadi ki.unhone Kaha mujhe meri khusiya mil jayegi, Mai maan gayi.rishita ne mujhe itna Kuch sunaya aur baad Mai aake ek sorry keh diya.,Mai maan gayi. Krish kehta hai ki Mai pehli wali hasti,muskuraati raavi ban jau.dhara Di kehti hai ki Mai phirse woh chulbuli raavi ban jau.kaise? Insaan hu mai, koi machine Nahi jiska on off switch ho." She said and sighed brokenly.
Shiva Clenched his fists.
" Kya Kaha rishita bhabi ne tujhse?" He asked coming in front of her.
" Woh important Nahi hai shiva. Important yeh hai ki agar aaj Maine tujhe maaf Kar Diya to Mai Apne nazro Mai gir jaungi." She said
" To kya kehna chahti hai Tu? Mujhe chodke chali jayegi? Kabhi wapas Nahi ayegi? " Shiva held her shoulders.his eyes filling up.the thought of her leaving forever made him uneasy.shiva pandya was scared.
" Kyu? Sirf Tu mujhe chod sakta hai? Hamare rishte Mai Faisla Lene Ka haq sirf tujhe hai? " She questioned him.
" Choda Kaha tha Maine tujhe? Sirf Kuch waqt Chahiye tha Sab Sahi Karne ke liye. ISS duniya Mai na agar woh maami Kisi ke liye kuch Accha sochti hai na,To woh Tu hai.isliye..." shiva was interrupted by her .
" Isliye tune Mera sauda kar Diya ." She said.
" Dekh...biwi hai Tu meri.yeh kya sauda kar diya laga rakha hai?Aisa koi irada Nahi tha Mera.samjhi? " He Said.
"Maasi galat hai . par Tu bhi Sahi Nahi hai shiva.agar aaj Mai gir jaati tere zidd ke chakkar Mai?" She asked.
" Nahi girne deta Mai. Kuch nahi hone deta Mai tujhe." He said directly looking into her eyes.
" Aur dobara tune Aisa stunt maara na...to mujhse Bura koi Nahi Hoga,Jaan atak gayi thi meri tujhe us dehleez pe khada dekhkar " he said genuinely.
She looked at him with confusion.he looked genuinely guilty and hurt.was he so Scared of losing her?did she matter to him that much?
" Tujhe kya Lagta hai mujhe farq Nahi padta? Aaj bhi woh din mere aakhon ke Saamne taaza hai jab tujhe latakte pankhe se neeche utara tha." He said shuddering again at the visual.
Raavi hit her with her fists.
" To kyu Kiya Aisa? Kyu ..kyu..kyu ." She let out her frustration and anger and rested her head on his chest holding her collar.
Shiva stood silently letting her do what she wants.
They stayed like that for sometime.
" Ghar chal raavi " he said.
Raavi parted away from him.
" Mujhe thoda waqt Chahiye shiva, Mai kuch time akele rehna chahti hu.apni aane wali Zindagi ke baare Mai sochna chahti hu . thodi shanti chahiye mujhe " She Said.
She had to be strong.she can't give in easily to his time, not until he realises her importance
He nodded.
She went away from there before she looked into those regretful eyes and change her decision.
Shiva looked at her retreating form and promised himself to win her back, even if it meant apologising hundred times.
Raavi came to her room in her maasi's house.she didn't talk to her.she was in no mood for another draining conversation.
She looked at all the gifts.shivas package caught her eye.
What could he possibly gift her?
She slowly opened the Package to find a doll inside it.
Flashback
A 9 year old raavi was holding her doll and seeing the pandya brothers play cricket. She had sneaked out from her girls group to watch her Dev play.
Dev hit a six and she clapped in excitement.
Shiva threw her a murderous glance.
" Ae maamikibehenkibeti...Tu yaha kya Kar rahi hai? Chal phut yaha se." He said to her rudely.
Raavi scrunched her nose.
" Mai yaha Dev ko batting karte dekh rahi hu.tujhe kya problem hai? " She yelled back.
" Acche se bol Raha hu...chali jaa...warna.." he warned her pointing a finger at her.
" Nahi jaungi ,Nahi jaungi aur teen Baar Nahi jaungi." She stomped her feet and stuck out her tongue.
Shiva angrily came to her and snatched away the doll and broke it into two with a swift motion.
" Yeh kya Kiya? Meri doll Tod Di?." She started crying.
" Meri mummy layi thi woh mere liye." She sobbed.
" Yeh Kiya kya tune shiva? Dekh woh Kitna to rahi hai." Dev chided him.
Raavi ran away from there with Dev following her.
Shiva's eyes were fixated on the doll that lied on the road broken.
End of flashback.
A small smile adored raavi's face seeing the doll,... perfectly fixed.as good as new .
Did he have this with him all these years?
Why?
Did he always secretly care?
Did they have any chance?
Raavi held the doll close to her heart and laid on the bed.it was unknown to her what the future holds, she fell asleep exhausted from the day's happenings.
Mangal Lakshmi
