Discussion Of The Week #4 **Divorce' Side Effects **

Here we go again with a new discussion. 😉

Divorce (Talaaq) is a common topic in Pakistani dramas. Sadly it became common in society too.😒 With the numbers of divorce cases increasing day by day.

And since we discussed about Talaaq in many drama threads, I thought that this discussion should focus on the side effects of divorce, like : children's future, divorcee women lives, how does the society look at the divorced couple, the psychological matters , and how to rebuild a new life and start living as a single again.. or any other matters.

The Word "Divorce"Scare me.Children can feel loss when their parents separate or divorce. Because young children usually don't have the language skills or experience to explain what they're feeling, they often show their grief through their behaviour.My Parents are married but they don't live together.My mom is a single parent.i can understand the pain of children whose parents divorce layti hain.

Originally posted by: ItsmeSehar

The Word "Divorce"Scare me.Children can feel loss when their parents separate or divorce. Because young children usually don't have the language skills or experience to explain what they're feeling, they often show their grief through their behaviour.My Parents are married but they don't live together.My mom is a single parent.i can understand the pain of children whose parents divorce layti hain.

I agree. Children are the biggest losers in divorce. They have to live with one of their parents only.. and they miss the love and care of the other parent. I don't want to think of the misery of the situation. I know living with fighting parents isn't a good choice too. 😒

I too am seperated from my husband because he works in another country. I try to not let my children need anything. I hope living far away from their father won't affect them badly.🤔

Originally posted by: awida

I agree. Children are the biggest losers in divorce. They have to live with one of their parents only.. and they miss the love and care of the other parent. I don't want to think of the misery of the situation. I know living with fighting parents isn't a good choice too. 😒

I too am seperated from my husband because he works in another country. I try to not let my children need anything. I hope living far away from their father won't affect them badly.🤔

why isnt this sticky?

I can’t remember where I heard it but Divorce is supposed to be the most hated thing that is allowed in Islam.

It’s supposed to be difficult to do, so that both the husband and wife should not take it lightly. Yet in dramas they show it wrong and in many ways it’s unislamic. I watched the old film Nikah with Salma Agha when it came on tv and I was shocked that the guy just said the word three times and the woman is divorced. It’s not meant to be like that at all.

Yes sadly any children involved do suffer a lot.

Usually, unless the wife’s had enough, and she wants to divorce, it’s the man that instigates the divorce. Sometimes woman are left alone with kids to be responsible for sometimes without any financial help. It’s so wrong.

My friends Dad died when she was a young teenager, the eldest of three. Her widowed mother never remarried but looked after her kids the best she could. If the mother gives enough emotional support, the kids grow up fine. They lived simply, I saw them wash their few plates and glasses after their meals. What they had was just enough. They didn’t spend more than what was necessary and she gave double the love.

I know it’s not the same as divorce but I’m just saying, once a divorce is over, a supportive single mother can do much more for the emotional welfare of the children alone, than having a couple constantly fighting in front of their kids.

I know a real life example of a relative who was treated so badly by her in laws, so much that even her husband believed their complaints against her. When she was pregnant with their first child she was sick often and instead of helping his wife, he complained that she can’t do anything as she was in bed or too ill. He divorced her soon after. She was a single parent, struggling alone and she asked family members for financial help.

Then, I don’t know how, but there was a single guy who had never married before, a decent helpful guy, that noticed her sad situation and he married her.

His family must’ve been a bit against (him being a virgin) marrying a woman who already has a child, but it went ahead and now they have their own child. She’s far more happier than before.

Sometimes you don’t know what destiny has in store. If divorce is in someone’s fate then the best you can do is to hope that something better is in store for you. Bitterness eats up a person so much that sometimes they can’t let it go.

Society blames the woman alone far too much when there’s a divorce. They point the finger as though it’s her and her family’s fault, opening the doors of depression and a feeling of humiliation. This again is so wrong.

We can’t let this happen in society and they should show dramas where the perpetrators get punished for these actions, and dramas signifying strong independent and happy women, instead of bechari ones all the time.

Sadly divorce does happen, and we need to see dramas that make you understand that it doesn’t mean you are a weak person if things are rough initially. It doesn’t mean it’s the end of your marital life and it doesn’t mean you are a failure, and it can be a beginning to a new and amazing journey in your life.

Originally posted by: Unique.Sheep

why isnt this sticky?

Insha Allah. Soon

Originally posted by: Lizzydarcy

I can’t remember where I heard it but Divorce is supposed to be the most hated ... to a new and amazing journey in your life.

Thank you for the detailed reply. 😊 but I had to cut this part only to avoid a long post.😳

You pointed at many important side effects of divorce.

1. Divorce shouldn't be taken lightly. A man has to control himself..and never say 3 talaaqs at once. It destroys not just the couple's happiness, their children will suffer more.
2. A mother is the most important sort of emotional support. She can make ir easier for children to deal with life after the divorce. But she needs financial support from the father. It is an Islamic rule..sadly in dramas they show men abandoning their children after divorce .. like in : Mubark Ho Beti Hui . Or a father taking the children leaving the mother shattered like in : Munafiq and Umeed.
3. In very few cases a single mother finds a guy who is willing to marry her and take care of her children. It was shown beautifully in few dramas like : Soteli Mamta and Umeed .
4. Divorce leaves the woman shattered, helpless, and meserable, but she has to stay strong and believe in Allah. There's always a happiness after the darkness. Few dramas show divorcees becoming strong, and live happily after divorce.
5. Society blames women for divorce. Badnaami is a stigma attached with divorcees. 😒 Many dramas show women prefer to stay with cheating husbands or abusive ones fearing divorce and badnaami.🥺
6. Sometimes parents of the divorcee force her to get married again to any man . Like in: Geesi Peeti Ki Mohabbat . Some dramas show remarriage is the only way divorcees can be rewarded.😳
7. Yes .. we need to see more dramas focussing on women staying strong after divorce and work to support themselves.

Women should focus on becoming educated and standing on their own feet. In such cases, men are less likely to walk all over them and dominate them, threaten them for divorce etc.

Even if they do have to get divorced for valid reasons, at least she can live her life with respect and wouldnt have to be begging the husband / family to support her and her kids.

Famillies should also stand by their daughters with whatever decision she makes instead of forcing her into unwanted marriages.

Originally posted by: Unique.Sheep

Women should focus on becoming educated and standing on their own feet. In such cases, men are less likely to walk all over them and dominate them, threaten them for divorce etc.

Even if they do have to get divorced for valid reasons, at least she can live her life with respect and wouldnt have to be begging the husband / family to support her and her kids.

Agree. It is important for woman to learn anything if not educated. They can make food and sell, become tailors, or any other job. If a woman is independat, no man can break her.

Famillies should also stand by their daughters with whatever decision she makes instead of forcing her into unwanted marriages.

It is sad that in dramas families aren't supportive. They pressurise their divorced daughters to marry again, or keep insulting them. It is always shown that divorced women can't find happiness untill they get married again to good guys this time. 🤔 In few cases women rise their children and avoid marriage successfully.😃

Do you know dramas where a divorcee worked to support her family, without getting married again?