Part 2
His words were so unexpected that for a few seconds she didn't understand anything.
And then she remembered...the words spoken by her in his cabin when he had so confidently claimed that he loved her and she loved him. The words that had induced fireworks within her and yet she had clamped down her immediate joy and crushed his, and her, happiness then and there.
"You asked me that day...kaisi mohabbat?"
He took one step towards her but she remained still, his words freezing her in her place.
"Attraction, infatuation...these were the words uttered by you. You think that's what this is...between us?"
Another step forward and this time she took one back.
Swallowing hard, she forced herself to reply to him, "Yes", her voice came out shakily.
"So...when you openly displayed your jealousy of Faryal...when you took a walk with me till the river on Saim's birthday...when you heard me admit how much your presence mattered to me and accepted it all quietly...all of that...was that you giving in to this attraction?
She could feel her heart begin to beat at a faster pace as his question settled in the air around them. Without her consent, her eyes locked with his and she felt her stomach drop as she found a certain kind of determination there...it scared her.
Not trusting herself to speak and not knowing what to say either, she just nodded and helplessly took one more step back as he took another one towards her.
"You think that constitutes as giving into an attraction?"
This time, she didn't nod ...she could only look back at him, her mind helplessly wondering where he was going with all this?
"Do you know, Zubiya, how it really is when two people are aware that they are attracted to each other...and they give in to it? "
Her breath hitched in her chest as he smoothly covered the remaining distance between them, backing her into the wall until only a few inches separated them...
Bending his head slightly, he locked his gaze with her...the same way he had done that morning when he had made her accept her jealousy. Only this time, he was much closer...
Her nerves flared with awareness as his as she felt his soft breaths on her forehead.
As he bent his head lower, the stubble on his cheek brushed against her cheek and she felt her blood rush to her face.
What was he doing? And more importantly...why wasn't she stopping him??
His lips brushed against the shell of her ear as he whispered, "Do you have any idea how it is when two people give into their attraction?
Her heart began to race in a crazy manner and she could now sense where this was going. She felt anxious...anxious that he going to unravel the lies that she had thrown at him in his cabin.
She told herself to do something, to move away even though she didn't want to. She was tired...so tired of fighting with herself to not give in to her feelings for this man in front of her...this man who had somehow become her whole world.
But, she to do something before things got out hand. She willed herself to raise her hands and pushed at his chest. She was scared...not of him, but her own self. She knew he would never hurt her.
She trusted him...but she didn't trust herself to remain strong in this onslaught of emotions that he was causing within her.
After three four attempts to push him away, he suddenly caught her hands in his. She felt her stomach drop once more as she noticed only now just how angry he was...his eyes were blazing with fury though she could see he was keeping himself in check only for her sake.
"If I would have given into this temptation then...
Her hands were now caught in a vise-like grip in his.
Slowly, he raised their hands and pinned her wrists to the wall on either side of her head. Lowering his head, his voice, angry yet soft, whispered in her ear, "...believe me, Dr. Zubiya...you wouldn't have been able to resist."
Zubiya had never felt so many sensations running within her and over her all at once. Her stomach seemed to be churning with butterflies, while her breath had effectively left her. Her heart was pounding in her rib cage and every nerve in her body felt as if it was on fire. She was sure that if he hadn't been holding her hands, she would have slumped to the ground.
His proximity was dizzying in its effect and she was shocked to find that in spite of all that, she didn't want him to let go.
"Had I only been attracted to you, I might have acted on it long back . And trust me there were times where I did almost did..."
With each word that he spoke in her ear, she felt her resolve weaken.
His thumbs caressed the insides of her wrists as he recounted some moments that she hadn't known had affected him so much.
"The night you had dinner with my family and were trying to convince Bhabi to work..."
Zubiya remembered how she had felt his eyes on her throughout the dinner.
"That early morning, when I bandaged your hand while sitting so close to you...", he moved his face closer and nuzzled her neck with his nose making warm shivers run down her back..."you have no idea what that damn perfume of yours does to me... I had to randomly lecture you about sleeping early just to control myself", he admitted in his now deeply husky voice.
She had no idea that this was the extent to which she affected him.
Zubiya was sure he could hear how fast her heart was beating right now...and she noted with a slight embarrassment that her breaths now came in short gasps.
"That afternoon, when you were so jealous of Faryal that you left my house without any proper explanation", he raised his head from her neck and looked at her , "You remember how feisty you were when I asked not to leave so early...it made me want to...", he paused suddenly giving a meaningful look.
She could feel the heat crawl from her neck to her face as she noticed the almost feral look in her eyes.
And then after what seemed like hours, but were only a few seconds, during which her gaze had remained locked with his, his gaze softened and she became aware of him linking his fingers with hers.
Slowly, he brought down their linked hands. Resting his forehead on hers, he said, "Lekin meri mohabbat sirf itni toh nahi hai na, Zubiya..."
He gently let go of her hands and raised his own to her head to straighten her dupatta which she hadnt even realized had fallen away from her head. Brushing her cheeks gently with his knuckles, he looked at her with such tenderness that she had to fight herself to not start crying in front of him.
"The kind of love I have for you...doesn't allow me to over step my boundaries...because I respect you. That's the kind of love I have for you...
He moved back, placing something in her hands but she couldn't tear her eyes away from his to see what it was...there was so much pain in his eyes at that moment that she felt disgusted with herself for being the reason for it.
"Maine tumse mohabbat ki hai, Zubiya...tumse. Tumhare har wajood se, tumhari har pehchaan se......tumhari himmat se, tumhari har ek baat se. "
He paused and swallowed heavily. "Tumhari aisi koi baat nahi hai jo mujhe tumse door le ja sakti hai..."
She frowned slightly as she sensed a deeper meaning behind her words but her mind was too hazy at that point to understand anything.
Finally, after seeming to internally fight a war with himself, he wrenched his gaze away from her and left the room, leaving her in a shaking, trembling mess.
He disappeared so abruptly from her vision that she wondered if it had all been a dream. Then, the feeling of cold plastic in her hands broke through her haze and she took a deep breath to calm her nerves.
For a few seconds, she focused on trying to calm her raging heart.
Then, she looked down and all her breath left as her eyes widened and focused on the object in her hand.
Her hands grabbed the wall for support as she stared horrified at the thing in her hands...her ID card which she had lost years ago ...the day he had saved her from Rameez.
He had it with him all these years...
Her legs wobbled and slumped on a chair nearby in shock, the ID card falling next to her.
He knows...he remembers...
And yet still...
"Tumhari aisi koi baat nahi hai jo mujhe tumse door le ja sakti hai."
Her tears finally escaped through their prison and flowed freely after years and years of suppression.
But it wasn't grief that racked through her...it was relief.
She was free... finally, she was free...free from the shackles of her past.
It could no longer hold her back from the happiness she knew she deserved.
Slowly, her tears stopped and a small smile broke out on her lips as only one thing resonated through her mind, heart and body...
He truly loved her.
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Edited by sidsk - 7 years ago
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