*From To Sathish* - Thread 3 - Page 48

I never tire and it never gets tiring
watching birds in flight do wondrous and unimaginable manoeuvres
while the air gives them lift to their wings
I never tire for it is a break from monotony
from the monotonous people walking with their monotonous expressions
of judgement,rebuke and distaste
Terra firma is for me and the monochromatic lives of us humans
so i raise my gaze and my vision is raised to the air and to the heavens
and i whisper a prayer and i whisper my lamentations
for the birds on wings and in flight at great heights
are closer to god and his dwellings
up above is the mighty sun in his abode
up above is the cotton candy clouds
and with my eyes trained with strain to their heights
i am transported for a second to a world of magic and flight
seconds and sometimes a full minute i stand in a trance
all by myself with a smile on my face,enjoying my time with the gods
and then i come crashing with a tap from a fellow homo sapien
a fellow mammal on two legs,a fellow monkey
who has just come down from the tree
and who has just stood erect on two legs
He,they ask me what i am looking at and why i have this mad look on my face
and i am lost,tongue-tied for an answer
and i go my way hoping to return for the next dose of heavens
and they go their way shaking their heads wisely muttering
" that boy is crazy and we all saw it coming"

Redemption-chapter 42

Standing in the corridor of the third floor rudran and balaraman decided that it would be good to have a coffee while each drowned and pondered on their thoughts and actions.

The coffee served,sugar added rudran stirred it into the hot brew and looked at Balaraman who had gone totally silent and in all probability was lost for a reaction.

Rudran " Bala,i was at home fast asleep when mr.kandaswamy mudaliayar called me and requested me on behalf of rahul agarwal to help deliver the ransom to the kidnappers and to bring the children back safely.Tell me my friend,would you have refused or backed away.well,i didn't and went ahead not only to help out but also to carry out my duty as a police officer.I don't know how other cops function when on duty and when they are off duty.I am a police officer whether i am in uniform or not in uniform,whether on duty or off duty.I am a police officer when i am awake and a police officer even when i am fast asleep and i will remain a police officer at heart even when i am retired and it will end only when my life ends.Do you understand that ? can you please try to understand that ?

Bala,you are a very good police officer but i am not only a police officer but also a top ranking officer of the nations intelligence wing which is a center to which information flows in from all deptartments,depts you know and many secret and covert depts you don't know or will ever hear of.

Please believe me when i tell you that last night i went to the place not to kill or attack those criminals but to handover the ransom and bring back those kids safely.But only when i got there did i realise that the criminals were handling deadly automatics,AK47's and they also were in possession of semtex which i left behind for i did not have time to dismantle the bomb and take it away with me for one of the kids was suffering from epileptic seizures.

As the situation was very volatile and since the chances of me getting killed along with the children were high i did not take any chances and i asked my team from the air force to help and they supplied the intelligence and i knew exactly where every criminal was stationed.

I entered and tackled the ones who lay hidden and confiscated three ak 47's and two high powered sniper rifles with infra red sights and thermal imaging.Tell me please,how is that kidnappers in chennai have gotten their hands on such high tech arms which even the army does not supply and it is only given to special ops.I had to think rapidly on my feet and knew that i had to neutralise them and so i did.Then i went with the money to the parking lot but things got messy and they pushed me and tried to bully me by threatening to kill the kids before my eyes,well i pushed back and they died.That is it,end of the story."

Acp balaraman sat listening as his friend explained himself and he realised that rudran was right and in that given situation there was nothing else he could have done.

He looked at Rudran " while you are going about doing your duty,the whole dept is running around without a clue as to what is happening with all these killings and now we have to find out who these men were,local or from out of state ".

Rudran shook his head " no,they are all tamil people and that is what worries me so much.I can tell you that they are all from madurai from their accents and yet they seem to know the city well.They were all very professional in the way they handled the ak 47's and they did not show the slightest bit of fear or nervousness.I can tell you now that if the chennai police dept had encountered them,they would have caused significant damage and losses to the dept.This is a new development and of which even my dept were not aware of.We had our suspicions that a new outfit was operating in tamilnadu but there was not even a whiff of their operations or identities.I can guarantee you that a gang like this will have a base,a proper and legal front in the city under whose cover they must have been carrying out these kidnappings and other illegal activities".

Bala looked at rudran " Rudy,i am doing this because i know you,trust you and respect you.What i am about to tell you is known only to me,the commissioner and a few others who are on this case".

Rudran sipped his coffee and casually leaned back,curious to know what information bala was going to divulge and trust him with.

Balaraman " Rudy,we found some kind of high tech digital camera on top of a tree near the parking lot.We retrieved it and found a memory card in it along with a transmitter.The memory card was empty and the tech guy in our dept said that it might have been programmed to format itself or instructions might have been sent to it via remote to format itself.He said that it was near impossible that any valuable data can be collected from that memory card.But he said he is going to try real hard and also contact some of his computer wizard pals on the net who might just be able to help him to retrieve some usable data which might help us to establish the identities of the dead ".

Rudran nodded seriously " I knew it for something told me that i was being watched all the time and more importantly they surely have me on camera.But it does not matter very much for it was not very bright out there in the parking lot and all the shadows will also not help whoever it was to pin it on me unless they already knew who i was and just wanted to know what i was capable of.If that is the case,then things get a bit serious and slightly more dangerous".

Chennai to thailand

The man from mumbai softly touched the screen on his expensive phone and Murky answered " I am sorry for your loss.Believe me when i tell you that i feel the loss as much as you are doing right now.But now we have to put our feelings aside and look ahead for revenge.But we have to do it cautiously for you saw what he is capable off and frankly speaking i doubt if we can take him face to face.Trust me when i tell you that this guy is a killer,a highly evolved predator and honestly i wish i had his instincts and moves.No brother,we have to step back and really plan or wait for him to come to us and then kill him".

Murky " have you finished singing praises about this guy or are you just scared to finish the job".

His brother recollected a quote by some dead rock singer " "Expose yourself to your deepest fear; after that, fear has no power, and the fear of freedom shrinks and vanishes. You are free." and was about to repeat it to his brother but thought better of it and " Brother,you are absolutely right when you say that i am scared to take on this guy.Anybody in their right mind or senses would be terrified to take on this guy and probably would wet their pants if they saw what he did to our men.single handedly and in a blink of an eye.But accepting the fear and overcoming it is the game and although this man scares me i am willing to play this game and at least attempt to kill him.But like i told you,we will only get one chance,one chance only to kill him and if that fails i am gone and please understand that then my debts to you will be considered to have been paid in full ".

Murky " okay.call me when you are ready with your plan".

Murky had seen his son and his men being killed and yet he was risking his brother's life by sending him against Rudran.But then if his deal with the terrorist group worked out then there was a good chance that they might succeed in killing rudran.


Back to the hospital

All the time that rudran was talking to bala,he felt someone staring at him and guided by instinct and on high alert he turned to see an old man staring at him with a gentle smile on his face.The old man was sitting a few tables away on his own having a sandwich.

With things as confusing and threatening as they were,rudran decided to confront the old man as to why he was staring at him.He told bala to just stay put and slowly walked towards the old man whose smile became wider and wider.

Rudran although irritated did not know how to react to this smile " excuse me,could you please tell me why you have been staring at me all this while ?"

The old man smiled " i am sorry sir,but i meant no offence.It is just that you remind me of a person who i know very well and sadly he is no more.you have an uncanny resemblance to him and that is why i could not take my eyes of you for it was like seeing him again,which frankly is highly impossible.But please accept my apologies".

Rudran's instinct told him that the old man was genuine and was telling the truth but yet he probed " could you tell me if you are visiting here and who it is you are visiting?"

The old man without hesitation " i am here with my wife who is going to go through a bypass surgery in a couple of days.Will that do and if it is possible can you tell me why you are asking these questions and on what authority?"

Rudran flashed his police identity and the old man chuckled to himself " just like him,you too are a protector.what a co-incidence".

The old man gently stood up and extended his hand and rudran shook it and noticed how firm the old mans grip was.

The old man looked at rudran with lot of love and affection " son,i am so glad that i met you.something tells me that we will be seeing more of each other soon.I wish you the best of luck.bye.".

Rudran looked at the old man as he walked away and came back to the table where bala was seated and both resumed their conversation.

As I Lay Dying... by carolom



For many days people came to my bedside.

I was moving between Here and Out There and would awaken

to see smiling faces sad faces concerned faces

standing over my bed side

Why even my old enemy from many years ago

appeared from yesterday, our passions long spent, our lessons now learnt

His once suspicious eyes that mirrored my own

were gazing upon me with Love

It was a little strange but when he took my hand in his

I squeezed it lightly

I didn't really have much reassurance to share as

every single thing took a great deal of effort

as I lay dying

Who ever would have thought all those years ago

when we fought it out in that stuffy meeting room

that we would share such a tender moment as this...



Next a sumptuous lover who I believed

I could not possibly live without

who I once wept, raged despaired and hoped for

Smiled down at me from her weary wrinkled face

Her eyes exuded the very same Love we once revelled in

before jealousy soured the sweetness and poisoned

all possibilities of Love gifting us

with its fullest purest force

My jealousy, that burdensome trait I created from

who on earth knows where...

How silly it all seems now...

Jemilia, with the strange name and outrageous flirtatious ways

completely unsuited to one as insecure in Love as I!

Our Love never died. I understand that now

We had different roads to travel.

Jealousy and the fury of insecurity seemed

a little ridiculous by the time we met again

When love kissed us with its fullest purest force



My friends they gathered

An impressive array dressed in

different skins and shapes and sizes

Strong people, troubled people caring people edgy people

The whole eclectic cavalcade of those who travelled with me for awhile

they arrived like an endless stream, the audience from within

The theatre of my life

In spite of my semi conscious place

Well actually I was fully conscious at all times

but I was not always in the room

and from the vantage point of my plumped up pillows

I realised that all of my family and all of my friends

Now all looked exactly the same

regardless of which of the skins they were in...



Love had softened their eyes, made their smile tremble

some would even tuck in my well tucked body a little more

To let me know they cared (as if I couldn't tell!)

and to move some of the Love that was making them feel very emotional indeed.

And I bathed in the pure sanctuary of their uninhibited compassion

perhaps understanding Love for the very first time

Better late than never I heard the angels say...



When my time came, almost ten days into the final chapter

of my physical demise

I slipped quietly away

just as the new dawn was awakening

The nurse had stepped out of the room for just awhile

...I wanted to leave with no fuss as we had agreed not to

resuscitate my body under any circumstances

And that final breath, a dramatic moment indeed

the biggest noise I had made for weeks...

but oh such Joy!

My Spirit stretched like a cat who has been sleeping for a very long time

Stepping out of my body was so easy

I wondered how I had not accidentally slipped out before!



I was greeted with the open arms of those

who had travelled back to the Spirit world before me

There was much to catch up on, a great deal of Remembering to do

and many new sights and delights to see


Over the next few days I visited the grieving

as they gathered by my breathless earthly shell

and I saw how their Love had melted into tears

as people cried and told stories and remembered the times we had shared

even those stories I had once commanded "Don't talk about that!"...

were joyfully retold over and over

making me laugh and twirl through the air with delight

late into the dark night of their loss...

I learnt a lot about Love as I travelled through its embrace

and would share with you this one last thing

Though you may think I am gone

My Spirit travels on

and one day soon, we shall Love and laugh and dance

once again...



R.I.P. Revel in Peace...

Redemption-chapter 43

"A Warrior knows that an angel and a devil are both competing for his sword hand.
The devil says: "You will weaken. You will not know exactly when. You are afraid.
" The angel says: "You will weaken. You will not know exactly when. You are afraid."
The Warrior is surprised. Both the angel and the devil have said the same thing.
The devil continues: "Let me help you."
And the angel says: "I will help you."
At that moment the Warrior understands the difference. The words may be the same but these two allies are completely different.And he chooses the angel's hand." ? Paulo Coelho, Warrior of the Light


Acp Balaraman left Rudran in the hospital restaurant after both decided that they would meet up later in the evening for a drink and maybe dinner.

Rudran sat quietly twirling the coffee cup in its saucer and twirled the information Bala had just given him.
Somebody had probably captured him on video and he wondered who it could be and who had advance knowledge that he was going to be there.Rather than worry about his actions being secretly watched and panic about it,Rudran ran through the few possibilities of who could have had the information and most importantly who could have had access to such high tech hardware.

Rudran ruled out his own air force team for he trusted them and moreover they just wouldn't have had the time to land a team and place a camera without being seen by the kidnappers and their hidden sentries.

He wondered if the kidnappers themselves had placed the camera there for information gathering and to better their modus operandi each time.But then they would surely not risk the camera falling into the hands of the police for then their identities would be revealed or in the least the department might gather clues about their height and numbers from the captured video.

No,rudran shook his head for his instinct told him that this was a move by somebody unknown to him and somebody totally unrelated to the kidnapping and yet they had prior information about the location.
The thread of deduction led him in a maze and then there was murky from delhi who had gone missing,probably hiding somewhere,planning,waiting for the time to confront him.

But then how would murky have knowledge about the location or happenings in chennai when he was hiding like a rat somewhere.Rudran could not make the connections and could only circle again and again to the camera and the location.

He decided that he would inform the intelligence wing about the latest development regarding the remote camera although knowing them,they would have gotten the information much earlier for pretty much nothing escaped their radar.

Rudran decided that he would start with the safety of his mother and babu before he proceeded any further with his investigation into who could have placed the remote camera on the tree.

Rudran entered the hospital suite which his mother was staying in and asked babu to step outside.When babu came out,rudran told him not to panic with what he was going to do and asked babu to go in quietly and close all the curtains and then sit quietly in the chair near the window.Babu nodded okay and without even asking what or why went in and closed the curtains and darkness filled the room.

Rudran slipped in quietly and tapped his I phone and tapped again on a folder that was encrypted and it prompted a code,which rudran entered and his phone screen changed and lots of odd looking apps loaded themselves.

Rudran smiled and wondered if james bond had the latest app which he had downloaded for just 5 dollars from I tunes and it was called by its function " Hidden Camera Detector."

In total darkness rudran went through the entire room holding his camera just five feet away from the wall and then a red light flashed on his phone as he came near the digital wall clock near the door.Rudran noted the disturbance and moved on and then his I phone flashed red again near the digital wall clock next to his mothers bed and that was it.Rudran went over the entire room once again thoroughly and knew that there were only two spots that were cause for suspicion and he went ahead dismantling the clocks from the walls.

But babu wondered what rudy was doing for he covered his hands with two plastic carry bags and then slowly dismantled the clocks and placed them inside a small carry bag.Rudran then asked babu to switch on all the lights and asked him to be seated for some more time while he finished his work.

Rudran placed his finger on his lips and babu nodded in understanding and quietly watched rudran with pride.
Rudran came near babu and whispered that he would be making a call to his mobile and asked him to carry on an imaginary conversation.

Babu had seen enough movies and understood that rudran was looking for something and nodded okay.He was happy that he could be of some help to rudran who he looked on as if he was his very own son.

Rudran dialled babu's number and babu answered it and went on to give an oscar worthy performance.rudran move quickly and silently with his phone extended towards the walls and object that filled the room and then he heard a click and a kind of buzz near the flower vase and shook his head in anger and frustration.But he was relieved that earlier he and bala had spoken in the corridor and in the restaurant far away from the the hidden eyes and ears.

He came back to babu and whispered something and babu smiled and nodded " thambi,i forgot to tell you something.When you are coming here the next time,please bring some duracell batteries for the clocks in the room are not keeping proper time.I think the batteries must be nearly dead and i think i will remove them from the wall and change the batteries myself.Okay.see you soon.bye."

Rudran circled his fingers to show job well done and then quietly left with the clocks in the carry bag.

"All warfare is based on deception. Hence, when we are able to attack, we must seem unable; when using our forces, we must appear inactive; when we are near, we must make the enemy believe we are far away; when far away, we must make him believe we are near." Sun Tzu, The Art of War

My thoughts from yesterday morning

So near yet so far

The lazy sun,red in the face as a baby colors when its sleep is disturbed
Quivered and whimpered and took its time to make up its mind
whether to show itself or go back to a deep sleep
as many of us do in the chill of the end and the new year months
It hung like a red balloon and shimmered in the dark grey clouds
and the reflected dark grey seas shimmered and murmured
and its waves rolled in and rolled back out as if they were being swung
back and forth like a baby in a old saree sung to
and swung by its mother from the branch of a tree
I heard the whisper of the music and felt a symphony
being played,not the thunder of beethoven but the sweet melody of mozart
It played in my soul and it played for me and i was content.I wonder what tomorrow will bring.

Please forgive the many spelling mistakes in chapter 43 for i wrote it in blinding speed.I have edited most of the mistakes and yet a few seem to linger.

I wish all of you the best and a great day.Be well.

Redemption-chapter 44

"It cannot be seen, cannot be felt,
Cannot be heard, cannot be smelt,
It lies behind stars and under hills,
And empty holes it fills,
It comes first and follows after,
Ends life, kills laughter."
J.R.R. Tolkien, The Hobbit

There is a evil,an entity that has escaped from hell and has thrived in the darkness of our human souls.It creeps into us slowly at first,testing our defences,tentative and once it breaks the barriers, soon like a virus it overcomes your defences and then hell breaks itself loose and it takes control of the host.You,me,we all read about this darkness and know this darkness that fills those criminals who rape children,prey on the elderly and kill,maim and destroy innocent and unsuspecting souls who are ravaged and destroyed and become another number in police records.we all wonder in anger,despair and in impotence righteousness as what could drive a fellow human being to commit such grevious crimes.It is here,it is there and it is everywhere wearing a friendly mask and it yet its soul lies covered in darkness,invisible to our common eyes and it continues to prey and predate.

Rudran mumbled in his sleep as his dream turned into a nightmare and he was all alone in the darkness.He yelled for Bhairav but to no avail and then he heard the evil growl and turned blindly but his eyes could not peer into the darkness.A huge monster emerged from the darkness and it wore the head of murky and in its hands it held the heads of all those he loved.Rudran screamed in anger and murky smiled and raised his hand and dropped the heads and whispered " i am coming for you and soon your head will be in my collection along with all those who loved and cared for."

Rudran woke up screaming drenched in sweat and woke to a new day.The light from the sun was not orange or blazing white but a bloody red and its light filled the room and its rays slowly stretched and reached up to his cot.Rudran sat mesmerised by this strange sight and wondered if the dream from the night had followed him into the bright of the light and now into his sight.His heart pumped furiously and loudly and then Bhairav whispered " Rudra,i am scared.Something is coming for you and me and it means blood,lots of blood and death.Don't leave me alone."

Rudran closed his eyes and thought he was going mad and felt his heart breaking in sadness as he heard Bhairav whimper in fear and he spoke to his soul " Never.never again will i leave you to face the darkness alone.I am here,so stay by my side and we will take on whatever is coming from the dark."

Rudran's thoughts turned to the clocks he had delivered to a safehouse,secretly maintained by the Intelligence wing which also housed a small lab to lift prints off objects and then scan them through their huge database for a possible match.The lab also doubled as a small clinic to do emergency surgeries and many a officer's life had been saved when bullets were removed and wounds patched up before they could be shifted to a larger hospital run by the armed forces.

On cue his mobile rang and rudran picked up knowing who it was " Good morning major param."

Major param yadav in his characteristic voice that laughed and spoke at the same time " Good morning mr.rudran.The chennai branch just called me with their findings and well i must say that you have stumbled on something big or to say the least you have disturbed some underground beehive."

Rudran " Major,so we did get a match from the clocks.right."

Major param yadav " Just one and a partial one at that.The person who placed the cameras inside the clocks must have removed the gloves for a second to position the tiny camera properly and although he scrubbed the clocks with a cloth,we still managed to find a partial print left behind by him.Now what is very interesting is that this print matches a few other prints we found in some crime scenes in mumbai,delhi and a few other important metros in north india.I think it is safe to conclude that it belongs to an assassin and one who has stayed hidden and away from our knowledge for many years.We kind of had a inkling that someone has been operating under the radar of the police dept but the chap is as slippery as a eel and he comes out only for big and important targets."

Major param waited for rudran to say something but the silence was filled with rudrans brain working furiously and sensing it " Rudran,someone has put a hit on you and the hitman who is coming after you is not your garden variety criminal.This guy is patient,methodical and will keep coming until the finish."

Rudran spoke calmly " Finish.well major,we just have to wait and see,don't we.Okay,now that we know a little bit of who i am up against,it is good to know that i can play with someone who is worthy of my time and skills.This is a good opportunity to put all our training to good use and test and see if we are ready for this assassin and more like him who the country is going to face in the future.Let me tell you at this moment,that i will dig this guy up from where ever he is hiding and drag him into the light and make him famous."

Major param sighed " knowing you,i am sure you are going to do exactly what you just said.But right now you and your mother's safety is our priority.what do you want to do ? "

Rudran " I think it is time that i moved my mother to a safer location and the only real safe option is in one of our VIP cottages either in the army,navy or airforce bases.And i want to do it in such a way that who ever is watching me will have no clue as to where i have shifted my mother to."

Major param " done.i will take care of the paper work and you just have to tell me when.But what are you going to do after we have shifted your mum to safety."

Rudran smiled " Hunt major.It is time to hunt those that are hunting me."

Major param winced and thought to himself " shit.more dead bodies.god have mercy on those he is going after."

Murky picked up the mobile and said nothing as his brother said everything " I hope you know what you are doing or wanting me to do.This will only enrage him and then he will not stop until the end.are you sure you wanna do this ?"

Murky " get it done and then call me."

Stories, i think are similar to dreams and although fantastic rarely come true. Stories are just meant to amuse and help you pass your time.Yes, sometimes you identify with certain happenings, certain emotions but then it is just a coincidence. Stories are like a healing touch, a balm to take away your tensions of life and burdens that other lives put on ones shoulders. Stories, books are meant for you to relax and be on yourself and be in you own imagination led by the storyteller's story.