CHAPTER ONE
He gathered himself, and moved out of his bed, though his nerves ached, and he felt really weak, since he had no food, the day before, after what he heard over the phone. He had lost his appetite since then. He didn't know what was happening to him, but just felt, his world falling apart. He was going to meet her, today, after all those weeks, since he divorced her, and she walked out of his life. He went, and stood before the huge windows of his room, and drifted those dusty, white curtains aside. He didn't know, when was the last time he had seen the sunlight, in the past few weeks, and that too, this early in the morning. He was living in his own mess, within his dark apartment, alone. He hardly went out of his house, in the past few weeks. Everything seemed new to him, as he looked out of the window. He wondered, since how many years, had he been trapped in here. He was living in a filthy prison, that he had created for himself, in his own house. The fresh, cool, morning wind, gushed across his face, making him close his eyes in satiation, for a moment. He snapped his eyes convulsively, as with the wind, came several other memories. He hated them now, because she was there in them.
He turned towards the human-sized mirror, which stood, facing him, at the other corner of the window, in front of him. He looked at his wrecked, blurry, reflection. He walked towards the mirror, and wiped the dust off it, using his fingers. His reflection, felt like some stranger standing in front of him. He looked at his face in the mirror. It was totally messed, and his charm was gone. He had not shaved for weeks, and his beard grew, on his face to such an extent, that, it almost turned him into someone, unrecognisable. His hair was a mess, and he hadn't changed his clothes for more than two days, and they stunk. He didn't know, what made the youth-fashion icon, and the dancer, Kabir Singh Rathore, to become this way. He was totally messed, after she walked out of his life. He took his steps backward, as he realised, that, he had to meet her. He looked around his room to find some proper clothes to wear, but all he could see everywhere was dust, and garbage. He felt his room to be a huge garbage can, now. He felt irritated. He picked the ashtray and threw the cigarette buds into the dustbin. He tidied his room a little, and finally, found a pair of ironed clothes on his own bed. He didn't know, since when, they were kept there, but they looked in a condition to be worn. He took them, and walked into the washroom, to freshen up. He brushed, first. He sighed, as he had to bath too, and lethargically moved out of his stinking garbs, and threw them aside. The feeling of irritation in him was replaced by comfort, as he turned on the shower, and stood beneath it. The cool water from the shower poured on him, relaxing his aching nerves, and giving him a sense of pleasure. Bathing after a week, felt so good to him. His emotions, too, drained out with the water, into the sewer. He almost spent an hour, standing under the shower, and relaxing himself. He constantly reminded himself, that he had to meet her, even though, it wasn't a thing that he would be forgetting. She was always important to him, no matter, how their relationship was, or how much he hated her, now. He could never understand, why.
He got dressed, as he moved out of the bathroom, and looked at himself in the mirror once again. He felt better, looking at his clean self. He no more stunk. He didn't bother to shave his beard, though. He knew, she didn't like it, but her likes or dislikes, weren't supposed to bother him anymore, as they were divorced now. "She wouldn't notice, anyway, he said to himself, "And even if she does, who's gonna care? Since she is no more my wife- He said, and his own words pricked him. He recalled her words from the day before, and they brought his gloom back to him. He felt as if he owned, this feeling of gloom, and self loathing, for years now. The other emotions inside him, were charred to death, long ago. The words which his ex-wife spoke, was something, he could never want for her, even in his dreams. Maybe, because, he spent so many years with her. Or maybe, because, he still, had something left, hidden behind those strong walls of gloom inside him. He was in a chaos, within.
He had not eaten anything, nor did he have anything to eat, at home, since he hadn't shopped for his groceries too. He was out of them since a week. The last time that he remembered getting groceries, was when his mother came to meet him, post his divorce. He was living on bread and butter, but then, he had the last piece of bread left in the packet, in dinner, the day before yesterday, and after that, all he consumed was, some water, and the toxic smoke of the cigarettes. He didn't care how he felt, and just grabbed his car keys from the drawer, and walked out of his home, after, like, two or more days. The girl in his neighbourhood greeted him, but he just disdained her, in whole. She sulked in horror. He had changed, a lot. He was now, the complete opposite of what he was, a few weeks back. He got into his car, and struggled in the heavy traffic for an hour or so, until he reached where she had been living now. It wasn't his home, where she lived, anymore. He hated this place. He was hesitant, going to meet her.
The German shepherd, tied to the half-opened gate, angrily barked at him, as he honked the horn of his car, asking the security guard to open the gate, so that he could enter the parking area. This dog never liked him, just like its creepy owner. The security guard didn't recognise him, but his car. He looked at the no more handsome Kabir, in a total disbelief. To be precise, Kabir looked like a homeless vagabond. The security guard opened the gate for Kabir.
As Kabir drove into the gate, he saw someone looking at him, through the window, trying to hide behind those curtains. "Bitch, He mumbled, and smirked. He never had hated someone this much, not even his ex-wife. He knew, what he had to do, to irk that person. He raised the accelerator, and rammed into the plants, and flower pots, that were carefully kept near the parking place. He loved doing this. He chuckled, as he was successful in damaging them again. He got out of his car and locked it. He constantly grinned, as he knew what was going to happen next.
The owner came running out of the house, yelling his name angrily, with a mincing knife in her hand. He never stopped grinning. "And here comes the bitch, he said, a little louder, and even she heard this. "I WILL KILL YOU TODAY, YOU PSYCHOPATH-! She yelled at Kabir, as she came running towards him, and held his collar and kept the knife at his throat. She was phytophilous. "Kill me, and just give me one reason to get you arrested. Kill me, please, He tried, as he held her hand, and forced the knife onto his neck. He tried to be sarcastic. "Leave me, you filthy pig, leave me, She said, and tried to withdraw her hands, but his grip was overpowering. The dog was barking on Kabir, in its own language.
"Don't you want to kill me? then, let me kill you-, please, let me, He said, as he turned her around, and caught her in his strong arms, and pressed the knife against her neck. He missed this everyday entertainment in his life. She was so scared that she started calling for help, and his ex-wife came running out of the house, to save her best-friend. Kabir didn't see her there. She knew that something like this, would happen, if he would come here, but still, she called him. She was worried, looking at the two people before her going frenzy. She was weak. She didn't know what to do. They had their backs faced towards her. "Kabir-, stop, leave Amyra, she almost whispered, weakly. He froze in his spot, hearing to that voice, and his grip on her best-friend, automatically loosened. Amyra heaved convulsively, and coughed, trying to catch her breath. "You almost killed me, you filthy animal-, She yelled at him, holding her neck.
Kabir wasn't paying attention to her. He just looked at his ex-wife, who stood dumbstruck, looking at him. Kabir's reaction wasn't different from her. He, too, was dumbstruck. He had seen her after more than two months. The way her appearance had changed, killed something inside him. She was pale, as if, the blood has been sucked out of her body. She looked weak, and ailing. Her face lost the glow, that she used to have. He wondered if she had lost more weight. Her very appearance, managed to make his eyes moist. He didn't know, why, he wanted to just pull her into his warm embrace, right away, and assure her that he will make everything alright. "Did you come here, to do this? She said, and her eyes expressed the guilt, for calling him here. Her eyes contained an unsaid hatred for him. She jolted him up, holding his collar, and slapped him. Amyra was happy, that her best-friend, once again, took her side. Kabir did not react, and just kept looking into those weak eyes, trying to search for something. Her eyes did not reflect the same, that was there before, and that, he was trying to find there. He didn't know, what made him do that but he just pulled her into his warm embrace, and held her protectively, in his arms. He closed his eyes, and dug his face at the crook of her neck. Her scent never changed. She was baffled by his action. She didn't hug him, though her hands almost did. She still felt a kind of comfort in those arms. He almost squeezed her, in his embrace. She wondered why he was behaving like this.
Amyra was annoyed. She pulled them apart, and Kabir glared at her. "Stop acting as if you care now, Amyra yelled at Kabir. "What will you take to not intervene between us? Kabir asked her. She rolled her eyes. "There is no us, anymore, Kabir, Nisha said. Her words hurt Kabir beyond repair. He looked at Amyra, who grinned at him. Kabir fisted his hand, in anger. Nisha placed her hand on his chest, and clutched onto his tee-shirt tightly, and winced. He immediately looked at her, and found her stumbling. He wrapped his arm around her, for support, and she held onto his arm. "Take me inside, she whispered. He nodded, and picked her up in his arms. "I can walk, she said, but he did not listen to her, and moved into the house with her in his arms. Her best friend was jealous. Her dog yelped. Nisha looked into his eyes, trying to search for something, as he walked with her in his arms. She didn't find, what she was trying to search for.
"Don't worry, I don't have the courage to love you, anymore, Kabir said, looking down for once, at her face. "Nor do I have the strength to let you love me, anymore, Nisha mumbled, slowly. "I will die, anyhow, she said. He was angry, and just glared into those eyes. "Shut up, you are not going anywhere, Kabir said, as he placed her safely, on her bed. He sat beside her. They looked at each other awkwardly. Her best-friend stood beside her, and glared at him. There was a strange silence between them. "Can I get something to eat? I haven't eaten anything since yesterday, Kabir said, breaking the silence. Kabir did not hesitate, asking food from his ex-wife. Nisha maybe knew, why he did not eat food. She signalled Amyra to give Kabir something to eat. "What would you like to eat, sir? Would Tommy's food do? We have a lot of dog food at home! Amyra tried to be sarcastic, but Nisha stopped her, and asked her to cook some food for Kabir. Amyra left to do so, as she had no other option. Actually, Kabir only wanted Amyra to leave, so that he could talk to Nisha, in peace. "Why haven't you eaten anything, Kabir? Nisha asked. "I had nothing to eat, at home. That's it. Nothing else, Kabir said, as he tried to look straightforward. "You are still, as careless, as ever! Aren't you-? She said, in a bit irritated tone. Kabir looked up at her, and said, "No! I've changed! She shook her head, and chuckled a bit. It had been months, since he had seen her smile. "I know, I know it all! Nisha said, looking into his eyes. Memories came gushing into their minds, once again, and they could not ignore them, this time.
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SHE WAS TOO ANGRY AT HIM. She wanted her answers today. The main door of their house was a little open, and this made her even angrier. There were tears in her eyes. "How could he be so careless? She angrily muttered, and opened the door, and entered into her house, followed by her best friend. The house was filled with the noise, that, the heavily blaring music system in her room created. The house was in a total mess. She yelled his name repeatedly, but he didn't listen to her. Her blood boiled. She pushed open, the door of their room, with an enormous force, and there he stood, dancing with his best friend, and some chicks.
She say, "Do you love me?" I tell her, "Only partly"
I only love my bed and my momma, I'm sorry
She was shocked seeing the scenery before her. Her eyes grew wide in astonishment, as she saw, her husband dance, with a girl in his arms. He was shirtless, moreover. She shut his music player, drawing his attention. He was almost scared, but he remembered, that he was to be angry on her. So, he played the music again, and smirked at her. She shut it again, and pushed it off its place, towards the floor, making it break. He looked at her in shock. His jaws dropped. "Move out of my house, now! She ordered his best-friend, and those girls standing in her bedroom. "They will not go anywhere! This is my house too he said, walking towards her, and looking straight into her angry eyes. He was not going to be scared today. "Yes, this is my best-friend's house too, Siddhant spoke, confidently. "Get out! She said, angrily, and that was it, and he just silently moved out of the house, with those girls, as Amyra mocked him. Siddhant warned her that he would strangle her someday. "Why? Why do you do this, every time-? Did I ever say anything, when your jobless best-friend comes here? Kabir said, pointing at her best-friend, who stood grinning behind Nisha. "I swear, I'll break your teeth, now-, If you just didn't leave from here, in a moment, Kabir warned Amyra. Nisha thrashed on his face. "Just leave from here, you filthy woman! Kabir said again, and he was angry, this time. Amyra left at once.
"Kabir, show some respect-, she is my best-friend, Nisha yelled at him. "And what was that you just did with my best-friend? He retorted at her. "He deserves that-, she said. "And, she deserves this, Kabir said. "Do you even know, how careless you have become? She diverted the topic. Kabir was hell irritated. "What did I do, this time? Kabir asked, in an extreme annoyance. "Where is captain, Kabir?She asked him, in a serious tone. Captain was her dog, which luckily liked him, but then, he did not like him at all. He suddenly realised that he hadn't fed the dog. He looked at Nisha, apologetically. "I know, you didn't like him at all, but I never thought that you'd do this, Nisha said, and her eyes were moist. He could never see her crying. "I am sorry, Nisha, I forgot to feed captain, He said, and held her firmly, by her arms. "I will feed it now, don't worry-, He said, and walked out of the room, followed by her. He didn't find captain anywhere in the house."What are you searching for? He's nowhere! He's gone! she said, wiping her tears. He knew, how special, Captain was to her. "Where? He asked. "He died. You killed him! She blamed him. His eyes grew wide. He was scared for the dog, the first time in his life. "What happened? He asked. He walked towards her, and cupped his wife's face, and she pushed him away. "He met with an accident outside the house! All because of you-, she said. "I hate you, Kabir, it is as if, it was only me, loving you like a fool all the while, and there was nothing from your side, she said. Her voice was filled, with a kind of guilt. He just listened to her, silently, as he knew that he was at fault. She walked into the room, as tears denied stopping. "Your carelessness never seizes to amaze me, Kabir! You have something new for me, every damn time, she yelled, and shut the door on his face. "No, Nisha! I have changed, He said, though it was too late to do so. He never changed.
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"Don't you want to know, what has happened to me? Nisha asked, looking at him. He nodded, though he didn't have the courage to know, what she was going through. "Lymphoma. Final stage, She said, looking straight, into his face. She never dared to divert her eyes. She was trying to analyse those expressions on his face. But he was totally blank, as he heard that. He looked down, trying to hide his moist eyes from her. "The survival rate is lower, she told him further. "It was with me, all the while, while I was with you, she said. He was guilty. "Why didn't you tell me, before? He asked, raising his head and looking at her. His eyes were red. "I just got to know about it, last month, She said. "And you were tangled in your own mess, she continued. His eyes expressed his discomfort. He was so busy with his own problems that he never realised, that she was the one, who was suffering the most. Moreover, he kept blaming her everyday, for the mess in his life. "Why are you telling me all this, now? He asked her. She smiled. "Because I wanted you to know, that the biggest problem of your life, is leaving you, soon-, She mumbled. He couldn't stop, as tears escaped his eyes, in front of her. She saw them. "You were never my problem, Nisha, He said, not trying to stop his words from escaping his mouth. She felt good, as he said that. "But still, I hate you, for what you did to me, He continued and wiped his tears. She chuckled a bit. "You should sometime realise, what you made me go through, that day, she said. He was annoyed. "That is because, you didn't trust me, he said. She grinned. "By the way, how is your girlfriend? She asked. He wanted to strangle himself. "You still don't trust me? Isn't it? He said, and stared at her. She looked into his curious eyes, and smiled.
Amyra walked into the room, with a bowl of porridge for Kabir. She kept it before Kabir, and went to Nisha. "Are you sure that you didn't mix poison in this? I need to inform my lawyer, first, and tell him, that if I die, Nisha is the witness, He asked Amyra, but she mocked him. Nisha chuckled, looking at them. "Anyways, pack her bags, she is going with me, He asked Amyra. Nisha and Amyra looked at each other, in bafflement. "And why do you think that she is going to do that? Amyra yelled at him. Before Nisha could think anything else, he said, "Because, before you came into her life, I was her best-friend, and, I still remember my duties towards her! Nisha was more than shocked, knowing that he still remembered, that he was her best-friend, at a point of time, in her life, before it moved onto a relationship, and then a marriage, and finally, a divorce. She realised, that it was her, who forgot this. "I am fine here, and I don't think, I will be comfortable there, Kabir, Nisha said. He asked her to trust him. "So, who's the doctor? Kabir asked Nisha. "She had one, but she never visited her, after the first sitting. She scared Nisha so much, Amyra revealed, cursing the doctor. Nisha held her hand, asking her to stop. Kabir looked at Nisha, understanding what she went through. "Have you consulted another doctor? Kabir asked. Nisha denied. "What's the benefit? I know that I will not survive, anyhow! Nisha said. "Shut up, Have you gone mad? He yelled. Her eyes were moist. He calmed himself down. Her moist eyes, still made him uncomfortable. There was a pause in their conversation.
"Siddhant is a good oncologist, He started, trying to hint Nisha. Nisha maybe understood the things that were going on, in his mind. "Siddhant is your doctor, and you are coming with me, to our... I mean, my house, because I know, he wouldn't like to come here , He said, as he continued eating his food. Nisha wondered why he still cared for her so much. "I don't trust that ass, Amyra yelled. Amyra was not ready to let her best-friend go, and started arguing with Kabir. Nisha seemed to be thinking about it, which irked Amyra. Kabir emptied the bowl of food within minutes, and handed it to Amyra. "I regret not mixing poison in your food, you ass! She muttered, and Kabir chuckled, as he heard. "Better luck, next time! He said to Amyra. Amyra said that she would follow Nisha, and stay with her, if she chooses to be in his house, as she knew that Nisha was almost convinced. Kabir didn't object to it. "It is okay, if you want to come, though I don't have a place for blood-sucking vampires in my house, anyways, He said, and she glared at him. "And Tommy can't stay without me, Amyra said, indirectly telling him, that Tommy will be with her, as well. Kabir was waiting for Nisha's reply, and he was kind of happy, when she finally agreed to what he said. Nisha did not know, why she agreed to him.
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Edited by -DrunkenMonk- - 7 years ago