#655
Fallen in love
I have finally fallen in love, with my own wife. I never believed that such feeling existed. I had been convincing myself that all that I had been witnessing with myself was infatuation. Naturally, everyone would think like that but what a fool I was to completely have had disdained it! Every small thing about her has started affecting me now, and every now and then, I am just thinking about her, if she was fine? If she had eaten or not? If she needed something? My day started with her and would end with her. I loved sleeping, I know that, but from the past few days, it is like sleep doesn't matter anymore to me, and every time, I would find myself adoring her. At first, I thought that I had got some problem with my mind due to the excess stress I had been taking in the office, and I even wanted to visit a psychiatrist, but I just brushed away that thought.
We had become best of friends, but it was something more to me, but for her, I was just her best friend whom she could rely on. I know, she wouldn't think about me like that, at least not so soon, but the feelings I had within me were getting out of control. I couldn't help myself but express it in every other away, though I couldn't tell her straight. I had no courage and on the top of it, I had a fear, a fear of losing my best friend. And I don't think she was ready for all this after what had happened in her past. She had told me about her past. It was dreadful. I understood why she was like this, so silent, so reserved. She told me that she was adopted by her parents when she was twelve. I think, this adoption was a good rescue to her from those things. The torment she had gone through in those twelve years in that orphanage was really not agreeable. I don't want to even think about it, it hurts me. I was asked by her if I would ever be able to accept her past as well after she told me this. I didn't know what I should say. I just wanted to hug her and cry. This had hurt me to a deep, unfathomable level. I didn't know how she would always manage that smile on her face. She is strong, a lot more than me. I think I was lucky enough to have found her as my life partner. She had had enough bad things in her life; and even she had the right to get the best. I am not saying that I am the best, but I think I can give her the best. I am not sympathetic towards her, but it was my love which had been talking all the while. Such a tender soul she was, when she had to go though all those unwanted things, her own biological parents abusing her, she running away from her home and then finding herself at an orphanage and then those torturous people at the orphanage. It had harmed her physically and mentally. And maybe that is why she used to refrain me from touching her, I understand her. No one's life is perfect, not even mine.
I don't know, if I would be able to bring her out of all this but I could definitely give her a new life, a refreshing start. I can give her all that happiness she deserves. When she told me this, I couldn't stop myself from taking her in my embrace, even she didn't stop me. I could hear her silent sobs; they were very painful for me. That night when I slept with her in my arms, that feeling it had caused within me was so ethereal, it had made me understand somewhere that I could be the reason for her happiness, I wanted to make her come out of this anyhow, at any cost, I couldn't see her in pain. This was one new feeling I had felt. There was an anonymous desire to this feeling, I wanted to accept this, and I wanted to keep it forever. And I had then understood that I had fallen in love with this pretty soul resting in my arms.
The morning had something different with it. I knew I had realized my feelings. She was still resting in my arms. The best feeling it is, to have your lady love in your arms. It was really awkward for us when she woke up, though she didn't show it like she usually does. There was an untraceable shyness in her eyes for the first time and it was really, very beautiful. She had thanked me for being her shoulder to cry on. There was no need for her to do that! That was what I wanted to do; I always wanted to be there for her.
We had some urgent meeting in the office so we had no free time to talk. All the interns had to accompany Diya for some important meeting with our clients, so there was no chance I would have got to see her the whole day. It was quite boring in the office without irritating her; after all I was her best friend and I had every right to pull her leg. One thing that was constantly maddening me was her being with that over-friendly intern. Obviously, I was feeling insecure and jealous. I couldn't help myself from making an excuse and showing up at our client's office. She was really baffled and surprised when she saw me. She may have found it weird too, but I made an excuse. Throughout the meeting, I was finding more and more excuses to be with her. I hate this stranger-stranger relationship now, but it was her decision, so I would have to wait till she wants this relationship. I won't force anything on her, never. But, I will tell her my feelings soon. I LOVE HER!
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Mannat Har Khushi Paane Ki
Cricket
