kabir(Nibir/Rajbir) SS- Burning Silence

janvi0513 thumbnail
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Posted: 10 years ago
#1
Hope you guys like it, here goes nothing
Chapter 1

The story starts from where Nisha's past is revealed, she has just joined Laksh Academy, she has no feelings for Viraj, and is still trying to move on, the cousins (except Bunty) know everything and are helping her out, today after convincing Nisha alot kirti, Saurav, Sukku and Nisha are going to a disco, and even dadaji has giving the permission. One more thing LA is Viraj's mother's dream, she was looking after it, but in the last two years her health deteriorated and she passed away eight months back, now to fulfil what she had left Viraj has started LA again. Ritesh left after Dolly and Sumit's wedding.
At the disco
Sukku: Nisha tu comfortable hai, agar nahi hai, toh abhi yehi se chale jate hai
Saurav: Nishu, agar aj tu gayi, pata nahi, tu apne dar ko hara payegi ya nahi.
Kirti: End mein, decision is completely yours.
Nisha: Rukte hai thodi der ke liye.
Nisha went and stood in a corner, one of kirti, Saurav, Sukku, were always nearby to her, and time to time kept convincing her to dance, to mix around a little, but she felt uncomfortable, and they didn't want to push her much.
Nisha: Saurav ja, mein itni kamzor nahi ke mujhe bodyguard ki zarurat hai, kabhi tu, kabhi Sukku, kabhi kirti. Please ja, don't make me feel like a burden.
Saurav: Nishu tu yeh.
Nisha: Saurav, please bahane mat banao.
????:hey, waha dekh, wa blue top wali ladki, kitni sexy lag rahi hai.
Nisha gets angry and turns to the side the voice was coming from. She was now looking at charming young guy with innocent hazel brown eyes, but neither his looks, nor his eyes, were able to cool her anger.
Nisha:ab kyun chup ho haan, tum sare ladke ek jese hote hai, you can only strike behind the back, (whispering) aur jab samne war karte ho toh dusron ki ankheen bandh kar ke.
The guy doesn't reply and gives her a what the heck are you saying look.
Nisha: jawab do, koi jawab nahi hai kya.
Kirti: Nisha yeh Kaun hai.
Nisha: koi nahi (drags kirti away, is still looking at the guy, the innocence in his eyes replaced by pain)
Kirti: Waise wo handsome toh tha.
Nisha: Wo ek number ka awara ladka tha.
Sukku: who are you talking about
Nisha: koi nahi.
Sukku: Nisha tere mood kharab kyun hai.
Nisha: Kya hum yahan se chal sakte hai, bohot bore ho rahi hoon, icecream khane chale
Saurav: haan, Waise sahi khe rahi hai, kyun kirti.
Kirti: haan,tu khe raha hai, I mean Nisha khe rahi hai toh it's okay.
Sukku:chale phir

Next day
Jwala: Nishu Di aj Sunday hai, phir app office kyun ja rahi hai.
Nisha: Viraj Sir ki meeting hai aj aur kal kuch kam complete karne ke liye mein ek file ghar leayi aur unhe uski aj zarurat hai.
Jwala: oh okay jaldi anaa
--------------------------------------
Nisha(monologue): File toh de kar agayi, ab ghar chalti hu.
Nisha catches an auto to go hope, on the way, on a lonely road she sees a girl screaming, she asks the driver to stop the vehicle and gets down.
Nisha sees that the girl is screaming at a guy, she realizes it is the same guy that she saw last night.
Nisha: tum ab kissi aur ladki ko pareshan kar rahe ho.
The guy looks at her annoyed.
Girl goes to Nisha and holds her hand:Di please save me from this guy.
The guy opens his mouth as if to say something, but Nisha stops him and starts blasting on him.
Just than another guy comes in.
Guy2: Abe tu inn dono ladkiyon ko pareshan kyun kar raha hai (he pushes the disco guy and a fight starts between them, the disco guy has got hurt pretty bad)
At the same time Nisha had called the police without noticing and they had reached.
Nisha: Inspector mene hi apko call kiya, yeh lad...
lady Inspector: Arre hum isse itne din se isse har jagha dhund rahe the, (she moves towards the disco guy, but stops at the girl and catches her hand) ab bhai kar kahi jaogi.
Nisha: Apko galat femi hui hai, yeh ladka iss ladki ko pareshan kar raha tha.
LI:Nahi galatfemi apko hui hai, yeh hi toh iska pesha hai bahane bana kar, logon ko rokna aur usne chori karna, woh bhi iss tarha ke un ko pata bhi na chale.
Yeh dekhiye iske hath mein bracelet, why will anyone keep the bracelet in their hand and not wear it.
Nisha: Yeh toh mera bracelet hai.
LI: Now you know the truth. Humesha ladke galat nahi hote. Kabhi ladke kabhi ladki koi bhi galat ho sakta hai, humesha ek par blame dalna is not right.
Nisha (monologue): uss ladke ne kuch kaha kyun nahi, mene usse mauka hi nahi diya, should I apologize, Are you mad Nisha kal disco main wahi tha, tu ne dekha usse kya pata woh galat tab bhi na ho.
-------------------------------------------------
Nisha keeps on calling out to that guy but he keeps on limping, he turns back and looks at her once twice and ignores, Nisha feels that she should leave the and go back home, but there are some answers she wants.
The guy than enters a poor area, he goes into some lanes and she losses him. She sees a tea vendor and goes to him.
Nisha: bhaiya apne abhi yahan kisi ladke ko dekha, jisse chot lagi ho, jiski hazel brown eyes ho.
Tea Vendor: App shayad Kabir bete ke bare mein bat kar rahi ho.
Nisha: Usne red shirt pheni thi ajj
TV: haan abhi jab dekha lal rang phena tha.
Nisha: App bata sakte hai wo kaesa ladka hai.
TV: I have been here since years, he hand his mother came here when he was very small, no one has seen his father. Maa school mein padhati hai aur wo khud, restraunt, ya kissi aur jagha mein logon ko entertain kar ta ha, dil ka bohot saf hai, sab ko khush rakhna jata hai, bas pata nahi bhagwan ne usse uski awaz kyun cheen li.
Nisha: meaning
TV: he is mute don't you know.
-----------------------

My new story, hope you all liked the first, feel free to criticize if you didn't.

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SaruSenan thumbnail
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Posted: 10 years ago
#2
Jaannzzz🤗

Yeh Story mujhe ek Malayalam Film ki yaad de raha hai mujhe😛 "UMA PENNINU URIYADA PAYYAN" 😛 Its a love story b/w a MUTE BOY and MUTE & DEAF GIRL😊

Awesome Start👏👏👏👏

Kabira is MUTE🤔 Aww... Felt Bad 4 Him

Nishu Bhi nahhEk baar dekh kar toh react karthe Par Uski bhi galati nahi hai as Halaath hi aise bane ki she misunderstood him...🤔

Waiting 4 NiBir Meeting & I m curious to knw How NiBir wl interact

I knw NiBir always understands eachother SILENTLY❤️

Waiting 4 next Part😳

PS: PM bhejne se pehle I res ed .. & Agali baar DO PM me..😆


Edited by SaruSenan - 9 years ago
mansi_as18 thumbnail
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Posted: 10 years ago
#3
🤗 awesomely written janvi... and m so eager to read more... kabira is mute... the boy with the hazel brown eyes... ❤️ m so looking forward to nibir scene... 😳
zaara610 thumbnail
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Posted: 10 years ago
#4
Interesting..loved it jaanu...😛
please continue soon
crazyvaishu thumbnail
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Posted: 10 years ago
#5
beautifully written janvi 👍🏼
kabir is mute
souds nice plz continue soon
n plz pm me
itznimi003 thumbnail
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Posted: 10 years ago
#6
res

unres

superb start janvi👍🏼

nisha saurav sukku n kirti in disc😊

dadaji ne permission dedi😃

loved d way dey care for nishu in disc...😊

finally kabira ki entry...nishu ne kabira ko galat samjha...😡

nisha ne fir kabir ko dekha n galat samjha but lady inspector ne uski galatfehmi dur kr di😊

she was searching kabira...to say sorry

kabir ki story se tumne mujhe rula dia yr😔
it was so emotional n touchy...u portrayed it beautifully😊👍🏼

kabir bol nhi sakta...

plz update fast yr

Edited by itznimi003 - 9 years ago
ammu4u thumbnail
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Posted: 10 years ago
#7
superb start janu👍🏼
Kabir is mutee..phir K& J kaise bolenge😆
jocks apart..loved d concept yaar..its intresting
PM me when u update


Edited by ammu4u - 10 years ago
-abz- thumbnail
10th Anniversary Thumbnail Sparkler Thumbnail + 2
Posted: 10 years ago
#8

Jaan ! 😳

You have started with the story ! ...
A very nice start ...
Kabira will talk something tells me 😳
continue soon 😳
angelanju thumbnail
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Posted: 10 years ago
#9
nice start janvi...
kabir is mute...🤔but then nisha is there na to speak for kabira...😉
loved the concept...update soon...and do pm me...😳
Edited by angelanju - 10 years ago
nut-kut-86 thumbnail
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Posted: 10 years ago
#10
Gud cocept. Sorry for chota cumnt majburi hai. Start k lye dahi sakar.

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