PART 4, PAGE 9. SS: Mera Beta Engineer Banega! - Page 6

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skyforceguy thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago
#51
Rocky comes back home after appearing in the entrance. His face is quite expression less. Enters in the living room and starts to walk towards his room.


Sweety sees him from his back...

Sweety: arre rocky! You're back?! How was you ex..

Rocky: (does not stop walking. Responses while walking) it was good mom.

Sweety: stop walking and look at me.

Rocky: (turns back to sweety still expression less) what mom?

Sweety: how good was it?

Rocky: above average.

Sweety: above average? What do you mean? (loudly) has anything gone wrong with it? Tell me! Your selection is happening or not?

Rocky: mom i'm feeling tired. I will talk later. And let the results come, you will know yourself.

Sweety: of course i will know. And not just me, everyone will. If anything goes wrong, i won't leave you. I have warned you earlier also to study hard and not to take it too carelessly.

Rocky: (irritated) WHATEVER MOM. I'm seriously not in a mood to talk. Said na i'm tired. I'm going to my room. (he walks out)


Sweety watches him going to his room. She is left worried. She starts worrying about rocky's selection.


rocky enters his room. He closes the door and starts walking towards his computer table in slow motion. He himself is very much worried about his own selection. He knows very well that his above average exam won't do it for him. He realises that he is gonna fail. He also realises that its his own fault only. Even after having the time and opportunity he could not make anything out of it. He realises how right was his mother. His own carelessness has ruined this nice oppounity he had, he had this opportunity to prove himself. He realises that now it is ruined. He can't fix anything. He also starts fearing about what will happen when the result will come out and everyone will get to know that his could not clear the entrance, his selection has not happened. He knows very well that sweety has already sensed that his exam has not been good enough. He now starts fearing about what will happen when the result will come out. He is now tensed. Starts thinking about pritam's words. Pritam had said that he can assure his parents that his selection is definately happening. But rocky can't assure the same to his own parents. He takes a deep breath and says to himself... "rocky, you can't fix the damages now which have already happened. Your selection is not happening. Face the hard truth. You'll be failed in the entrance. Prepare yourself for this. You have made a mistake and now you have to face your parents. You have to face everyone now. learn something from it. You're strong, very strong. Face the consequences now. You can do it... "
He now feels little light. He decides that he will tell everything to his parents he will confess everything to his parents.




Dinner table. Everyone is present. Rocky is preparing the words in his mind about how to start the conversation about his confession.

Ginny: you know maa, raashi and sunny both are shifting from our school to another school. Raashi was telling the new school she will be attending now is way better than our existing one. You know maa, raashi's entire behaviour now seems to have changed. She talks differently too. Always about brands, fashion etc. She looks changed a bit.


Sweety: (laughing) what do you yourself think beta? Your existing school is bad? I want your opinion only.


Ginny: no mom. I have no problem in studying in my existing school. Its the best for me. And changes have come to raashi only, not me.


Sweety: (very satisfied with ginny's response) i know beta that you have not changed. Only raashi has. Nor do you need to. Let them change their school. Maybe they are feeling the need for it or maybe the new rich status has made them feel so haha.
So let them change. We don't need any change in our lives. We're happy being who we all are. Aren't we?


Ginny: (agrees) of course mom. We don't need any change... What say rocky bhaiyaa... ?

(rocky does not respond. He seems to be busy thinking something else)

Ginny: bhaiyaa?

Rocky: (looks like he got back to sense after being senseless for a long time) hmm.. What? Are you asking anything to me? Sorry i did not notice.


Sweety: where were you lost rocky? Concentrate on the food only in the dinner table.


Rocky: ya mom.


Sweety: by the way, i had received a call from raavi half an hour ago. She got admission in Delhi University!! Its strange that even after preparing for a number of competitive exams, she finally decided to do the basic B.Sc course.

(Rocky was seeking a moment to start his confession for a long time. He finally starts)


Rocky: mom, dad, i have got a few things to say to both of you. Actually i have got to confess something.

Sweety: (she figures out what rocky is gonna say) i knew this would be coming from you.

Lucky: what would be coming from rocky, sweety ji? (confused)
What you've got to confess rocky? Clear yourself.

Rocky: (confident from his mind to confess it, he knows it has been his own fault only. Now he does not want to escape from it. He wants to confess)
Mom... Dad... I had been careless with my JEE. I had never failed in any of my exam before. I was over confident with it too. I had thought its just an entrance which i would clear with an ease. I knew the syllabus was extremely tough but i was too much careless here too. I had kept everything for the last moment. I thought it would be completed. Then in the last minute, i started feeling the pressure. I did study in the last minute as much as i could. But could not complete the entire syllabus. I went to appear in the entrane then with half completed syllabus. So the exam obviously did not go well. Dad, (he looks at lucky) i know how much you were excited for my engineering. I'm feeling like i have cheated on you dad. I've broken the promise that i had made to you. Dad, i'm ready for any kind of punishment. This is the truth which i don't want to escape from. When my results will come, everyone will know about it. Many people will laugh on me too. I'll be tagged as a looser. I have done the mistake now i'm ready to face it. I've prepared myself to face everything. I'm confessing my fault to you both. My over confidence and careless nature have shown me this day. Its me who even after having the opportunity, wasted it. Call me an over confident fool, i deserve to be called that. I am sorry mom, dad.

Sweety: (stands up, very very angrily, starts shouting) STAND UP ROCKY! I SAID STAND UP!

(Lucky till now had a very strange expression while listening to rocky. Now seeing sweety going out of control by anger, looks at her. He goes expression less)

Rocky: (he stood up from his chair, he knows that sweety has gone out of control by anger. He is very much sacred now. Starts shivering.) what mom!

Sweety: (she comes towards rocky and gives him a tight slap) WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOURSELF??? (starts scolding) YOU'RE RIGHT, YOU'RE A BIG TIME LOOSER. YOU ALWAYS KEEP CLAIMING THAT YOU'VE GROWN UP. IS THIS HOW A GROWN UP GUY TAKES HIS IMPORTANT COMPETITIVE EXAMS?? I HAD SEEN YOU BEING CARELESS, HAD TRIED TO MAKE YOU REALISE TOO, DIDN'T I?? YOU FOOL, COULDN'T YOU SEE HOW IMPORTANT THIS JEE WAS?? YOU'VE RUINED THE OPPORTUNITY AND NOW YOU'RE PROUDLY CONFESSING IT?? WHAT DO YOU THINK, YOUR MOM WILL BE VERY HAPPY AND FORGIVE YOU?? NO, YOUR MOM WILL NEVER FORGIVE YOU FOR THIS. NEVER!! (she leaves the dinner in half and rushes to her room)


(rocky is crying now. Ginny is completely stunned out to see all this suddenly in the dinner table, she is also in tears.)

Lucky goes after sweety to the room.


Ginny: you had no need to confess all this tonight bhaiyaa. How can you be so sure that you are definately gonna fail? You had prepared na, maybe you could not complete but you did study. Why have you already started thinking negative about it? I think you should wait till your result comes out... Don't loose hope so soon bhaiyaa... I believe you're gonna pass. I do believe that bhaiyaa... (crying)

Rocky: (he is overwhelmed after listening to ginny... He just goes and hugs her.) thanks yaar... (he thanks ginny for being supportive with a smile, sad smile though)


Next day morning. Its 7 am. Rocky is sitting in the living room. Ginny is having break fast with school uniform on. Sweety is sitting in the chair next to ginny, she is avoiding rocky. Rocky is realising that sweety is avoiding her. She has not even asked for break fast to rocky. Rocky was mentally prepared for such behaviour from sweety so he is not very much surprised. He constantly thinking about how to seek an apology from sweety. How can he bring back his old mom to him...

Rocky hears some footsteps from his back side. He turns back and sees lucky coming downstairs. He now starts shivering again. Lucky did not talk to him last night. He knows very well that a scolding from lucky's side is also due to him. He is also expecting a slap from lucky. In the meantime lucky comes near rocky.
Rocky is now very much out of idea whether lucky will sit next to him in the sofa or ask him stand up just like sweety did last night. He starts shivering even more.

[end of 3rd part]
Shwets1502 thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago
#52
Great going Pritam. Very interesting.
I am not sure it is good or bad...but you are not letting the readers settle down😆 You keep banging some new twists..😆


skyforceguy thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago
#53
first of all sorry for the delay in posting. I lacked time and net connection both haha.

I'm realising that the storyline is fluctuating too much. As you said i'm not letting my readers settle down. I'm just trying to make it unpredictable. That's it. I'm just beginner when it comes to writing stories. I Keep writing what clicks in my mind. Hope to keep you interested with it. Thanks. Appreciation always feels good.
Shwets1502 thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago
#54
@Pritam

I am no expert in writing as well😆 But would love to suggest..you need not slow down in the story...but the effect I am getting is...like Gaylestorm,..😆 You are not giving time to predict itself😆

I am waiting for the next part...and be careful..If u let Lucky slap Rocky...u better be careful😉😆😆
ABdaKriticizer thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago
#55
Pritam, I want you to do me a favour. Please make an index for your story so that people may know which part is on which page. I am saying this because I want to know. I will read when you will complete your SS, ek saath. 😛
Please, keep editing the first post and add page and part numbers. 😛
skyforceguy thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago
#56

Originally posted by: Shwets1502

@Pritam

I am no expert in writing as well😆 But would love to suggest..you need not slow down in the story...but the effect I am getting is...like Gaylestorm,..😆 You are not giving time to predict itself😆

I am waiting for the next part...and be careful..If u let Lucky slap Rocky...u better be careful😉😆😆


Will update next part soon. As long as you or anyone gets it boring, i guess its fine.
skyforceguy thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago
#57

Originally posted by: AhsaanBaig94

Pritam, I want you to do me a favour. Please make an index for your story so that people may know which part is on which page. I am saying this because I want to know. I will read when you will complete your SS, ek saath. 😛
Please, keep editing the first post and add page and part numbers. 😛


Ok after completing the SS i will do it. I'm here only to help my readers haha.
Freethinker112 thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago
#58
Now, this update was more satisfactory. 😉

I would disagree with Shwets here, this part was very logically followed from the previous one. You showed the reality, bad preparation begets bad performance. His regret, the reaction of family is all very relatable. Fantastic update and I would like you to continue in this manner, not going OTT like CVs. 😆

P.S. : You could have done without the slap, poor Rocky. 😆 But that's not far fetched when Sweety is concerned.
Freethinker112 thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago
#59
@Pritam

I too would second the request for an index, currently new readers will find Part 1 on the first post and your title will refer them to the third part. But they will have to hunt through all the pages for second part. It will get even more complex as you add more parts. So, above your first post, either link to all the parts, or at least write the page numbers of each part. 😊
Shwets1502 thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago
#60
What I meant was...the story is so fast paced that there is nothing to think about...I am liking it.

The slap? That was a shocker actually😆 I expected Sweety to shout but not slap for this matter. But fine😊 Something different to see.

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