U And I Will Be Together Till The End Of Time
Har pal saath nibhane ka waada karke judha ho jaate hain, agar jaane hi tha to kyon iss zindagi mein aate hain? Every moment ripping her apart. Every breath taunting her that she was wrong. He loved her, he loved her so much. More than the stars in the sky, but she couldn't recognize his love. He had always wanted to be with her, he had always supported her through thick and thin, but she had betrayed him. He had told her that his love did not need to be reciprocated but she had hurt him. She didn't want to and that was why she had chosen to leave. It wasn't her fault though, was it? Life had been so unpredictable for her and she had gotten used to it, but then their life had taken a sudden turn in a direction where they could probably never come back.
May 28, 2012
It is our anniversary today, there is so much that I want to say to Anant. I just can't thank him enough for coming into my life. For making my life more beautiful than paradise. This one year has passed by so quickly that I didn't even realize. I have the perfect gift for him. I have made a collage for him with pictures from our first year in marriage. I knew he would love it and I just needed to go and pick it up from the studio, that had added some finishing touches to the frame. But how would I be able to go, I didn't want anyone else to go because it might ruin the surprise. I picked up the collage and it is beautiful, I touch Anant's picture with me during our wedding and smile. I can't get my eyes off of him, his eyes so pure. I look up and am blinded by the light of the truck heading my way. I scream and crash into something.
I wake up and find myself in the hospital. A man walks in, he was crying I think, he sits down beside me and lets out quiet sobs. He tells me that he can't explain how much pain he had gone through in the past few hours. He had felt the fear of losing me, if he had then he would have not been able to live, he says. He says that he would have never forgiven himself if anything had happened to me. I look at him, and say why, who are you? I pull my hand out from his and I see that he is shocked. He holds me and tells me to stop joking. I scream at him and tell him to get away from me. The door opens and Ma walks in, she is worried and asks what happened. I calm down, and ask her who this man is. She sees the seriousness on my face, and turns around quietly. They both exchange a silent glance and Ma says, he is your husband.
The doctor came and examined me, they have conducted tests and have come to the conclusion that because of some swelling in my brain I have lost some of my memory. The past year or so. I am married to someone I don't even know and today is my anniversary. They all reassure me that my memory will come back. The man, his name is Anant, walks towards me and my heart starts to beat at super sonic speed because of fear. He gives me a " It's okay" look and I look down at my hands. He is hurt, I can tell. From what he has said to me, and what his eyes are showing I can see that he loves me a lot. But I can't love him, I can't I might try, but I just can't.
They have brought me home to the Bajpai Mansion. They all take really good care of me, they show lots of love and make sure that I am very comfortable. But the anxiousness is clearly evident on my face. I give blunt expressions, I seem emotionless to even myself. Anant doesn't really talk to me, he seems depressed all the time, but always tries to smile when he sees me. Sometimes he talks to me as if nothing has happened but then he remembers and his smile vanishes into thin air. They show me videos, albums, and other things from my wedding probably hoping that I will remember something, but I never do.
He was crying, he seemed so helpless. He was all alone in his room, asking himself how I could forget his love. I wanted to stab myself, I was a horrible person. I didn't deserve him, I wasn't worthy of his love. He used to always tell me that he doesn't want my love, my being there with him is enough. But he was broken inside. Why hadn't I died that day. If I had he would still be hurt, but he wouldn't die a thousand deaths every moment like he did now. It was all my fault, bua-dadi was right I was bad luck I always brought unhappiness wherever I went. But not anymore, I wasn't going to hurt him anymore. I would leave, give him the freedom he deserved. The life that he deserved to live. With me, he would never be happy. Even I was tired of trying with no results, but enough was enough. I walked to my room and sat down, I cried more than ever before trying to let out all regrets and pain that was bottled up inside me. Why did it hurt me so much, when he cried? Why did I curse myself, it wasn't my fault. I can't hurt him more, I just can't.
I was about to board the flight, when I got a call. "Bhabi, bhai has gone somewhere, we don't know where." Nimisha said. I didn't get it, why did he leave. I was supposed to leave, not him. It was his house, his family how could he leave like that? For who, me, but why, I never told him that he should leave. Why does he care so much for me, when I never even did anything for him? I had to stop him and he would, I know, after what I would tell him. I wouldn't let him go, like this.
She ran as if life was slipping out of her hands. She knew that if she didn't make it in time, she would never forgive herself. As she came to a halt and her heart continued to race, her eyes searched for him with hope that he would not go. She broke and started to cry, suddenly she heard him. She looked up, her eyes anxious for one sight of him. Then she saw him, he was silent but that silence spoke volumes. He asked her so many questions without even saying anything. Time stopped, but she didn't she ran and held on to him, to keep him from going, to keep life from slipping out of her hands. She wiped her tears away to say the one thing she knew she had to, but he didn't need words to see her feelings, to read her heart. Her eyes said it all. She didn't remember anything even now, but his love wasn't conditioned on her memory. Even if they didn't have memories together today, they would create new memories that they would cherish forever.
Bade Achhe Lagte Hain
Kyunki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi 2
