~||~DOTW: What's with the Devi Maiiya DILs?~||~ - Page 2

ritchelle, a very nice post indeed. well what was shown in wednesday's
episode happens in every household of india. here u can see sugandha
as more or less uneducated, just being submissive to her husband
& family. but even in households where MILs r educated & had been working
& now retired or still working, even in such households also, they do torture
their DILs. My MIL had herself been working but she doesnt leave a single
opportunity to put some blame on me. the joke is that even if she is angry with
her son (my husband) she wont scold him alone. she scolds both of us.
😆😆. i know here i am laughing but when it happens, i will be seething
with anger. but the point is that sugandha is shown as realistic character but
navya as a devi. navya cannot always be a devi. at some time or the other,
she has to burst out. but this will not be shown in serials. Even in my house,
i always dont fight with my MIL whenever she blames me for something bcos i know
u cannot always fight with someone & make ur BP raise. but when i am really
pissed of main unhe suna deti hoon & then she shuts her mouth. thats how
it should be. and what the hell with navya hiding about her conversation
with sugandha from anant. so damn irritating. in my opinion, wife should
immediately confess about her conversation with her MIL to her husband
especially if its something that is hurting her. i know husbands r always sandwiched
between wife & mother. but thats another story, why should v bother
about that 😆😆😆😆 its husbands problem. and if i was in her place after
hearing so much from MIL i would not even think of taking her aashirwad
again atleast not immediately as navya did before sugandha leaving the
house. bcos at the end of the day u do all thyag & finally end up with husband
getting angry with u. for any woman husband should always come first & then
his family. but if u see any serial whether sp channel or some other channel,
wife is always busy satisfying in-laws & in the bargain loses the husband to
another woman. whats the use. husband nahin hain tho uska family ka kya
achaar dalna hain.😆😆😆
😆

Ritch, thanks for taking up a very pertinent and thought provoking topic.

Coming to case of Navya, the way we see Sugandha holding Navya responsible for all that has gone astray in their family is actually the true picture of our society. Majority of mothers, however educated and progressive the family claims them to be continues to believe that my son is the best and most innocent. Its the scheming bahu who actually pulls the son away from the parents as if after marriage the pallu with which the son is tied just shifts from the mother to the wife. Its only in case of a handful, lucky souls that the story is otherwise! So, what the soaps depict is not entirely wrong, but what they forget is moderation and a innovative way of showing that a DIL can tackle the problem in a smart way without being a complete sacrificial goat! The 'Nayisoch' as in this case is the tag line, most probably will show, eventually, that Navya the DIL, to be successful in changing the outlook of her sasuma/sasural, but definitely after much drama and tears. The drama and this submissive nature of the DIL will contuinue till audience like us will see no end to ranting and then finally the female protagonist will get her voice to speak her mind out!

This is the age old 'ghisapita' formula of trp gaining shows and we will continue to see that over again because that is what the general audience loves! They don't want to see anything alse or experiment with anything else. Thats why shows like Navya are one of lowest in trp charts as they tried to be different but finally succumb to pressure. Channel 'walas' and PH don't want to take any risks so the viewers are never entrained to see anything that is more progressive with less of this DIL/MIL sagas or other typical dramas. Therefore, its always a vicious cycle of what the general masses want to see, the profit that the channels want to make, the trp that the show will garner and a handful of liberated audience who is in ever search for freshnesss and positivity.

Hey Ritchelle,

All apologies for this late post - but since I had to think of all pros n cons of this amazing thought.. I took a lil more time than expected..

An amazing effort n all appreciations for the same!👏

What do you think about the unfair treatment of women in Hindi Daily Soaps? While channels and PHs are certainly coming up with interesting taglines and new concepts and refreshing characters, the majority of the shows (especially the ones that garner the highest TRPs) depict a submissive DIL and a khadoos saas/bhabhi/nanan/etc. Is this "devi maiiya" attitude of the DILs justified? Is the "Komolikka" attitude of the saas/bhabhi/nanan/etc. justified?

I want to answer this today giving a personal difference in 2 characters:

my BHABHI in MAAYKA ' and me as a BAHU in MY SASURAL...

I'm a keralite who live abroad. Although i got married to my same clan ;) my sasural is in Jaipur. Men who lived in Kerala since birth.. are different from those who lived anywhere else ' in other states ya foreign. They want independent and employed women, but also doing the chores of home. There are some fortunate husbands who will help in these ' but were certainly away from the HOUSEHOLD ACTIVITIES 'and taught all these to be done by FEMALES.. But if they live in India.. they dont want their wives to work, as they cant speak a word against their families.. or atmost TEACHER ROLE only ' coz they can wear indian dresses and mostly SAREE.

When my sasural people came to see me.. (when i came down to kerala ' as it was telephonic agreement of my marriage to her son). ' she asked me one thing ' do you know cooking ' i said i can manage a li'l here and there ' she was like WAAAT? My son loves to eat and how can you say like this... i asked her back... does your son know cooking... she said, no he doesnt know.. i asked why? He was always studying and that's y he's a CA. So i said.. YES I WAS ALSO DOING THE SAME! I was also studying and am an Engr. from a respectable institute only. No less!

Coming to my BHABHI ' her's is a love arranged marriage ' my dad was strictly against, but gave way for it ' coz there was no much thing coz she's an Architect (Educated family) except they are a different class and denomination in my religion. Yes, its true they had to wait. But after that ' my parents haven't taken her freedom. No compulsion or questions as to wat u do for my son etc. Mom ensures that wen her son comes home ' she gives her all her love in the food he loves.. but no questions or complaints against BHABHI ' way of dressing ' lifestyle no. Of kids nothing

But in my case, even though its her son who chose me (yes against her choice) ' she continually assaults me.. in every single way ' way of dressing ' mannerisms ' freedom of speech / thot/ expression ' so much. My husband is with me, but wont speak a word against his mom knowing that she's totally wrong and her wrong is even hurting me. But all he did was ' begging me not to retort or even feel bad ' WONDER IF AM NOT A HUMAN TO EVEN FEEL BAD????

I understand this is boredom to most of you ' but why i had to say is ' PEOPLE LOVE BEING SADDISTS ' esp women! Its rare in this society where the MILs are like MOM's.

Though late I finally realized that my MOM is an exception 0.2% ' and my MIL exists in higher percentage...98.8%

By my behavior she is slowly understanding that its me who is really taking care of them, and not her SO CALLED ADARSH SON ' who is just plainly running away from responsibilities.

I REALISE MY MOM IS A BETTER MIL than a MOM ' While my MIL is a better MOM!

Both are wrong ' Women are the source of all goodness. They are to be fairly n equally treated when it comes to correction. Men are not to be considered Gods even when they wrong. Equality should be there to not only enjoy the freedom of speech/ thought etc.. but also to manage responsibilities ' both genders should work for it!

I have been hurt by others. And I will hurt them. I will make them suffer like I have suffered! Women should not be sadist and try to wait for your turn to dominate n rule the home! - I can't bear such MILs

Silence is golden but not always a virtue! - I can't bear such DILs

Where fear is, happiness is not! - Instead of love if fear rules in a house - that house will always be ruled by devils - killing every bit of happiness! Fear is the main source of superstition, and one of the main sources of cruelty. To conquer fear is the beginning of wisdom.

Give love and take love! - This should be the reality and those who follow this will have a blessed home - undoubtedly!

Even though SP brought new taglines story, this major set of viewers belong to my MIL class - hence to run the business they end up showing women ill-treated. But slowly they try to show in a subtle way - how they need to change (LIKE IN SASURAL GENDA PHOOL - Badi maa tell suhana - change is required, but it will happen really slow)

W.r.t Sugandha - Navya conversation - I guess my opinion will vary as against most of yours...

Sugandha is tied b/w an elder and younger generation - She is a loving person to the youngers - but it has restrictions as she herself has no freedom of speech in the home. She has voiced her opinion IFO Baba. But she clearly knows there is no 2 ways- and a mother whose only desire to live is her son - is in difficulties and she has lost all her senses of what is right and wrong.

Now coming to Navya ' the promo only always stated

[Navya symbolises the new young generation of India. Navya is an extremely identifiable and average girl-next-door, who is confused about her life like a lot of young India is. Navya naturally balances modernity & traditionalism in her day-to-day life without even consciously thinking about it.

As luck would have it, Navya falls in love with Anant, a boy hailing from a traditional and conservative family. Over time, the story beautifully captures Navya and Anant's journey of love and their trials and tribulations in trying to stay uniquely Indian and yet moving ahead with the times.]

They have to portray the wrong, to show the NAYI SOCH later. And I'm sure the fight that happens between Anant n Navya after they leave Bajpayee mansion - will have something to do with this! Anant hates injustice - esp. when it was his sole decision to leave & Navya had nothing to do with the same.

Navya is more confused as she is the woman who can either make or break a home! She has to be cautious & watchful in every step she takes! So we should bear her confusion atleast till she matures!

Do let me know - if you agree with me or not? I hope i've been able to express my thoughts regarding this never ending abuse to woman!