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CHAPTER 44
Hellow guys...
Happy Eid.. In advance..
Deepu.. It's for you baby...
Kinda love confession.. Personally I don't believe in love confession... But I wrote it for you Deepu..
Hope all my lovely readers will like it..
Please go to Zain's profile and leave a comment for him.
Please.. Please... Please...
It was a cloudless night and the sky was freckled with twinkling stars. Neil was sitting at the edge of the pool with his legs half immersed in pool water. Moonlight shone the water like a pale band of silver. He was glancing the reflection of silver disc of moon in the pool.
His mind was flooded with the pictures of Avni. The longing to be with her, to see her echoed in his heart.
"Tillu" he felt a soft hand on his shoulder.
He glanced up to see Shweta. She sat beside him.
"Missing her?" she asked.
"A lot" he replied.
"Me too" she said protruding her lower lip outwards.
"Don't be sad. She'll come tomorrow. It's been a long time since she stayed with her maa and Nanno." she added.
"I know" he said resting his head on her shoulder.
She caressed his cheeks lovingly.
"You know Tillu when we lost Juhi, in a way we lost you too. When you asked me for sometime, I thought time will heal your wounds. But instead you coated your real self, hide those wounds, masked your pain with a fake layer. Everyone mistook your smile to be a real one but I knew you were not same as before. You were living not for yourself but for us.
Then Avni came into your life. I thought she's snatching you away from me. I did every possible thing to separate you both and each time ended up hurting you. Finally the love for a son defeated the mother's ego. Through your eyes I saw the real Avni. I understood that she's the same girl I was searching for you. She was the girl who brought my Tillu back.
And look now we can't live a day without her" Shweta said wiping her tears.
"You're the world's best mom" Neil encircled his arms around her shoulder.
"Because I have got world's best son" she slapped his cheek gently.
"Now let me go.. Bebe must be looking for me" she got up.
"Tillu you too.. Come in soon" she told him and walked inside the Mansion.
"How can I do this to her? Is it a betrayal?" Neil questioned himself as a thought crossed his mind.
"I'll tell her everything as soon as she returns." he told himself.
"Avni will you give me a chance to explain? Even if you give me one, do I have enough words to justify all this? Do I have enough courage to see you breaking once again in front of me? Will you let me hold you when you'll shatter because of me? Will you let me wipe your tears when you'll cry because of me?" a sudden disappearance of moon from pool due to interruption of moonlight by a figure derailed his train of thoughts and he looked up to see the intruder.
He saw Avni standing at the other side of the pool. He smiled at her inspite of knowing the fact that it was nothing more than a fleeting vision.
Much to his amazement she returned the smile.
He knew that his mind is hallucinating her, he couldn't stop himself from admiring her.
She was wearing the same yellow saree which she was wearing in the morning. Few hair strands blowing back in the breeze and rest falling graciously in soft layers around her bare shoulder.
Neil closed his eyes. Then he heard the clicking of her heels, the frequency of sound increasing with every passing second. Now he was able to inhale her scent which elevated his heart rate and killed his logical thinking capacity.
"Neil" she called out his name sitting beside him.
He opens his eyes and relizes that she's real.
She waves her hand in front of his eyes.
He blinked and refocused his eyes on her.
Alluringly, she blinked her eyes making her eyelashes flutter like wings of a butterfly.
"Aren't you glad to see me?" she asked.
"I thought you'll stay at Neela Maa's place tonight" he said.
"Haan.. Par wo tumhe.." she stopped.
"Haan.. Tum mujhe kya Avni?" a playful smile appeared on his lips.
"wo..tumhe batana bhool gayi thi kal Bebe ka birthday hai. So we'll arrange a small, sweet surprise celebration for her." she told him.
He expressed his agreement with a quick smile.
"So how was your day?" he asked tucking her hair strands behind her ear.
The question acted like a autostart for Avni and she started narrating her entire day. Neela Maa to Nanno to Aman and finally Ali. As she started her "Ali-puraan" Neil lost interest in her talks. Her talks were like a song whose tone appeared melodious to him but wasn't bothered about the lryics.
"Enough Ali for today I guess!" Neil asked her.
"Are you jealous?" Avni asked.
"I m not like you" he said.
"Really.. You mean I get jealous... No at all Mr Neil Khanna. Avni don't get jealous of anyone." she boasted.
"Let's see it today.. Let's put your patience to test" he thought.
"Leave it.. Tell me your plans about Bebe's birthday" he distracted her.
"We'll keep it as simple as possible. A small cake, some decorations, some games as Bebe loves them and a lot of family time." she said.
"Great" he gives her a thumbs up.
"Tell me something about me.. That could help me regaining my memory" he asked her.
"Sure.." she agreed.
"Start with Juhi" he said.
"Juhi.. Okk" she smiled.
Neil wasn't pleased as he didn't got the reaction he expected.
"She graduated in MBA and..." she told him.
"No.. I mean tell me about us.. Me and Juhi" he cut her in between.
The word "us" made Avni a bit uncomfortable but she forced a smile and continued.
"You have already seen her photo..." she said
"Yeah! She's really beautiful..." he completed her sentence.
The smile from Avni's evaporated fully.
"Huhn.. You met her when you were pursuing your MBA. You both were together when she..." Avni was already getting numb but Neil wasn't satisfied. If he want to make her feel jealous then he'll leave no stone unturned in doing so.
"Don't brief me the summary.. I want you to narrate the story then I'll be able to recall.." he demanded.
Avni was approaching her saturation point. Still for him she decided to stay calm.
"You met her at college canteen when she was perfecting the way in which the coffee was being prepared in the canteen" her voice was low. "You felt an attraction towards her" she used the word "attraction" out of frustration.
"You mean.. Love at first sight?" he asked supressing his chuckles and sounding as serious as possible.
"No! I didn't meant that." she almost shouted to which Neil smirked evily.
He knew that needle is aimed is exactly at the place most vulnerable to damage.
"Things started with exchange of smiles, then notes and then.. You both started developing feelings for each other." Avni crushed her Saree fabric in her hands. Doesn't matter how much she deny but narrating all this was ripping her heart. Jealous would be an understatement to define her instant condition.
"Then.." he asked. Neil didn't intend to hurt her but for sure he wanted her to realise her jealousy and accept her defeat.
"Then she said it one day.." she told him.
"No wrong information Wikipedia.. It was me" he again cut her in between.
She moved her head in confusion masking the anger.
"Mom told me that It was me who proposed first. I told mom about Juhi. Then she helped me in arranging a super romantic date for her. And finally proposed her. And when Neil Khanna is at his knees which girl would say a No... " he boasted.
This was something that crossed Avni's limit. Neil wasn't ready to leave her at any cost but giving up wasn't Avni's style. When he gets stubborn only extreme poles existed in Neil. Either he's too soft to be melted by a mere touch or too hard to beat the density of iron. No moderate form existed.
Avni cheeks felt too hot and eyes were filled with salty water. But still stubborn enough not to fall weak.
"Continue please.." he asked her. Neil's eyes were drained of any mercy.
"I guess you know better than me" her voice was sarcastic.
"Mom told me that yaar... Please continue... It's bad to leave a love story incomplete" he insisted.
"Won't you say it once.. That Yes Neil! I feel jealous. Because I love you.. It'll stop all this Avni. It'll stop hurting. I'll stop right here." he thought as he looked into those glossy eyes overburdened with tears.
"Why will I say when you can't see it. If you're harsh enough then I m no weak" she thought as she broke the eyelock.
"It was a 'yes'. You made her meet Mom and Bebe . She was a nice girl. So they approved of her and..."she paused a bit expecting him to stop her. But today he wasn't going to stop neither he'll let her to stop.
He waited for her to continue.
"And.. They decide to get you married to Juhi..." she looked away and finally the tears made their way down her cheeks betraying her.
Although he couldn't see but he could feel the tears falling down. He was really impressed with Avni. How can a girl narrate her husband's love story to him? Specially when each word was eating away her soul.
"Okk.. I guess this could be the most beautiful conclusion of a "LOVE STORY". So let's conclude it here only." he declared. Although he thought to go on until she cries her jealousy and love out but as far as Avni is concerned Neil can control himself. He can't hurt her to an extreme level just for a stupid game.
"Avni I m too hungry. I m going in. Come fast" he told her heading in. He didn't tried to pacify her as he knew that she don't want to show her tears because that would be counted as a defeat.
"I think you got what you wanted" she asked him.
"I don't mind accepting the defeat when it comes to you" he said turning away.
The moom illuminated the tears falling down her cheeks unchecked. She hated herself for being so vulnerable to feel this way.
She hated him for being so capable of making her feel this pain. She didn't knew shedding tears will help it or not but she couldn't handle the tears anymore.
Her mind was racing at the speed of light and heart felt like it could stop beating anytime. She didn't knew that it's jealousy, insecurity, anger or fear? But whatsoever it was... It was stirring her settled pains.
*********
Avni was walking towards her room with a tray in her hand. Till the time she came in Neil had already fled to his room. He didn't waited for her today.
"Is he angry at something. If someone should be angry then it's me. He hurt me and now... Wait he just asked what was true.. And truth hurts.. Seeing him talking about her hurts.." Avni was lost in her thoughts and she approached their room.
Neil was glancing the plasma screen in front of him which was displaying a video on pause mode.
As he heard the sound of opening of door he saw Avni.
Avni placed the tray on table and eyed him weirdly.
"Tum gussa to nahi ho?" he asked in a gentle tone knowing that how hollow the question would sound.
"Gussa?? Not at all infact I m so glad that you're still so interested in your past" she replied with a straight face.
Her reply didn't offended him instead earned her a smile which wasn't warm but cool enough to comfort her.
"Come I'll show you another movie" he stood behind her and guided her to couch by holding her shoulder. The warm touch of his hands on her bare skin dazed her senses and she flowed in the direction he wanted.
"Although the hero is still same... But a new female lead." he pressed the play button.
Avni stared the plasma screen to see Neil dancing. Her lips slowly started twitching but stopped midway as she saw Juhi coming into the frame.
The video was of a wedding of a friend of Neil in which Neil and Juhi were dancing.
Avni was watching the video silently while Neil was observing her. He wasn't interested in the video but in the scene in front of his eyes.
He knew he's playing with fire if she burst she'll kill him but still he was enjoying it a lot.
The video was of around four minutes but Avni reached her saturation point within two minutes.
"Will you dance with me?" she extended her hand towards him. Now it doesn't mattered weather she's sounding jealous or possessive. What mattered the most was her feelings and today she didn't mind being expressive.
Neil was shocked he knew that she'll react but it was too quick.
Without letting him reply she grasped his hand and dragged him to the centre of room.
"I m not that good at dancing" he said half joking as he slide his hand in her waist.
"Who want to dance. I just want to be close enough to make you understand that you're mine." she replied looking into his eyes stepping forward erasing the distance between the two.
Neil couldn't believe his ears. Avni... This much expressive.. It can't be real.
He raised a brow eyed her with suspicion.
Avni was too quick to switch on the music. There was no lyrics just like there were no dance moves. Their body was glued together leaving no space in between. Gaze locked and soft slow motion on the melodious music.
Avni guided his hands from her waist to lower back. Her skin secretly absorbed the thrill of his gentle touch, the delicate intimacy of his hands made her glow pleasantly.
This was the first time that Avni was dominating Neil and he was happy being the recessive one. With the gentlest of his hypnotising eyes he peered into the very depth of her being. Not being able to bear the intensity of his gaze she lowered her eyes and she placed her head on his chest right above his thumping heart.
Her hands travelled to his back permeating the warmth to his soul.
The sceen behind them went blank. Avni was right they were close enough to make each other understand that they belong to each other.
Neil felt sudden heaving of her chest and her body vibrating in silent sobs. As her tears reached his skin absorbing through the thin fabric of his shirt he realised that she's crying.
"Avni" he whispered her name gently caressing her back.
"Do you love her more than me?" she mumbled without lifting her head.
Neil closed his eyes in regret. He never intended to hurt her but this stupid game has made her cry.
"What do you think?" he asked.
"I don't want to assume anything. I want you to tell me?" she lifted her head and moved out of his embrace.
Strains of Mascara running down her cheek, dripping on her neck, red sniffling nose and hands crushing the saree fabric with her hands. Neil was regretting the moment he raised Juhi's topic.
He lifted his hands resting them against her cheeks and wiped her tears with his thumbs.
"I m sorry. I was just.." he tried to pacify her.
"Do you love her more than me?" her train of thoughts was struck with that question.
He dragged his hands on her waist and pulled her back to him in the previous position.
"Look up" he demanded.
She looked into those hypnotising eyes which heated her to a level of uncomfort but his intoxicating scent sent her body in a haze.
"My love for Juhi will never pass into nothingness but she slipped out my grasp and now is a part of my past. But Avni you're my present and I want to live my future with you. All I know is... I can't compare you with anyone else.
And you don't need to make me understand.. I already know that I belong to a lioness." he pulled her cheeks.
Avni let out a chuckle at the last line.
Neil sighed as he saw Avni finally smiling.
"I trust you" she told him.
Neil pressed his lips in disappointment as he expected an "i love you". But "I trust you" is no less. Infact that was equally significant.
"So you agree that you were jealous?" he asked directly making her twirl and holding her close with her back pressed against his chest.
"I'll call it wifey right. But nothing will overpower my respect for your past.. YOUR Juhi...my trust on MY Neil" the smiled made it's way back on her lips.
"You're so possessive that even my nightmares feature you as the lead actress" he joked.
"Really?" she hit him on stomach.
"But tum to mere dreams me hamesha hero hote ho hamari story ke" she said.
"Mere dreams mein bhi you always accompany me.. But a girl.." he stops.
"A girl?" she asks.
"Huhn.. A girl.. Then.." he again stops midway.
"Then?" Avni grew serious.
"Then a boy.. Again a girl... Again a boy..." he laughed and ran as Avni chased him with a pillow in her hand.
Finally he stopped and prepared himself for a nice blow from her but to his amazement nothing hit him. He opened his eyes and got the most pleasant shock of his life.
Avni was on her knees holding the water bottle like a mike as if she's going to make an announcement today.
"Avni.. Boys are supposed to do all this. Will you leave something for me?" he asked her as he sensed what she's going to do.
"Ssshh.. Ab bol rahi hoon to sun lo.. Otherwise phir kisi Juhi ka naam lekar mujhe rulaoge..." she sounded so happy.
"You have already done a lot. So lemme say it today. To be frank, I wanted to wait till the day you regain your memory but now it doesn't matter as someone told me that if your little efforts can give someone special happiness then you shouldn't wait." she smiled.
He crossed his arms close to his chest as he knew that she's referring to him and payed his full attention to the words he was dying to listen.
"From the day we met, whenever I felt like everything is over, darkness dominated my mind and I felt like quitting you supported me and guided me towards light.
When I married you by cheating you not only forgave me but shared your house, your family, your name and all your happiness.
Whenever I tripped, you embraced me. That touch shouted louder than words that AVNI I LOVE YOU.
When the whole world was against me, I saw a trust in your eyes. Those eyes screamed to me that AVNI I LOVE YOU.
Whenever the wounds of my dad's silence ached, your voice healed my heart. That voice told me that AVNI I LOVE YOU.
When I was in pain the tears falling from your eyes shouted that AVNI I LOVE YOU.
When I had those nightmares the sleepless nights you spent sitting beside me told me that AVNI I LOVE YOU" she smiled as she recalled all those moments.
Neil was watching her in complete amazement.
"My heart did felt that love but the wounds in it didn't allowed me to reciprocate the love I received from you.
Even when my eyes were blurred by tears I could see the love in your eyes but the betrayal Aisha Maa got and I witnessed helplessly didn't allowed me to express my feelings.
I could hear your actions shouting your love even when my ears were deafened by the screaming of Aisha Maa's loneliness.
I would have shouted to you.. That NEIL I LOVE YOU TOO if I didn't remembered Papa saying that to Mumma numerous times but never meant it." tears were falling from her eyes on her lips which were still stretched maximum
Although I kept my mouth zipped, But tum to tum ho.. You knew everything before I say it. Each time I felt that we'll fall apart you held me more tightly.
You taught me how to live, how to smile, how to love. You made me realise that Aisha Maa's dream was not only Aman but she dreamt of a happy Avni too. She wanted me to raise Aman well but how much my downfall would have pained her... I didn't realized until you made me do that.
You made me see Neela Maa who dedicated fifteen years of her life. Those fifteen years in which she would have lived her youth.. Her life. Why.. To use me as a weapon to avenge Dayawanti Mehta?? No.. She raised her daughter for whom she had hundreds of dreams in her eyes.. I couldn't see them until you cleared my vision" tears were flowing unchecked from her eyes. But they were not sad tears.. The curve of her smile signified that she is happy. She was a fountain today which was expressing everything it held.
Neil like a patient listener gave her full attention. He smiled when she smiled, frowned at her pain, laughed at the silly things she said.. And absorbed each word she said. If he would be having a camera right now, he won't bother to record her confession because it was something more than special which he want to capture in his heart through his eyes only..for his eyes only.
"Hey!! Tum bore to nahi ho rahe na?" she asked innocently.
"Bilkul nahi.." he winked at her and asked her to continue.
She wiped the tears with her sleeves and continued.
"Today I want to convert my all "I would have told you" to "I am telling you that Mr Neil Khanna you're the most beautiful thing that has ever happened to me and I thank God for that every second of my life. I never asked God for you. You're a blessing I guess that's why you're so perfect.
Although my favourite colour was black but I'll happily wear blue for you whole life.
I like poha but won't mind eating your rajma chawal.. Because I guess that's the only thing you know how to cook.
I like sunshine but would love to dance with you in the rain.
I like thriller but will enjoy romantic movies with you my whole life.
I will always love, respect and accept everything about you the way they are..." she exhales a deep breath as she finally told him everything she told him daily in dreams.
Neil was staring her with eyes popped out in amazement, mouth opened in awe and heart dancing with happiness.
He thanked God for the ribcage that prevented his heart from jumping out.
"Ab ghoorte hi rahoge.. Ya tum bhi kuch bologe? My knees are paining Neil" she said extending the bottle which she was using as a mike.
He laughed and grabbed the mike.
"You know Avni agar is bottle ki jagah red rose hota, iss room ki jagah decorated terrace, LED lights ki jagah candle light hoti aur tum Spiderman pyjama ki jagah blue saree mein hoti.. To shayad accha hota!" he said moving in a circle around her.
Avni's face fell as she realised that it was too simple to be a love confession. She should have done something like in the movies.
But before she could get up Neil went on his knees and placed his palms on her cheeks.
"You know this is the most special day of my life but you made it even more special" he caressed his cheeks with slow moments of his thumb.
"But it could have.." she said protruding her lower lip out and scanning the surroundings quickly moving her eyeballs.
"It couldn't have been better. This is the best.
I m not a fantasizing girl who was expecting a grand proposal.
I am a husband madly in love with my brave but tubelight wife waiting for her to say the feelings of her heart...to confess her love" he winked at her.
Avni placed her hands on top of his hands and closed her eyes.
"But you didn't asked for my decision?" he said.
"Because you don't have a choice. I m already Mrs Avni Neil Khanna. But even then if you wanna say I m here.." she held his collars and pulling him little closer to herself.
He held her hands and made her count on her fingers number of times he said it.
"First.. The letter I wrote.
Second... When I arranged our first date and you fought with me.
Third... When you took me on midnight bike ride.
Fourth... When you were ready to get engaged to Ali... And infinite times in your absence" he told her.
"When I read the letter you were long gone.. And rest all time you said that as Neil Kapoor" she reasoned out.
"Okk.. Then as Neil Khanna I declare that Avni.. You're my everything. If God really exist then I pray him to give me equal number of breathe as you..no more..no less."
He opened his arms as an open invitation and Avni threw herself in his arms before he could blink. He squeezed her so tight that she felt all the broken pieces sticking together, all the pain coming out, all the nightmares vanishing in the warmth.
"Don't promise me long rides. Don't promise me romantic dates. Don't promise me all your time. I want none of these... Just promise that you'll never go away leaving me.. Like you did last time.." Avni asked him.
"I'll never leave you Avni. I'll not walk behind you because you're stupid enough to land in some problem.. I can't walk ahead you might get lost in the dark... But you'll always find me with you... Just beside you" he assured her.
Eyes tightly closed and arms not ready to let go. They appeared like poles of magnet sticked to each other.
"Was it too ordinary?" she asked getting up.
"Not at all. It was unique in its own way" he said.
"Okk then close your eyes?" she instructed him looking up into his eyes.
Neil's eyes popped out as his mind raced and heart literally stopped.
"Stupid.. Eyes badi nahi close karo" Avni closed his eyes with her hand.
Neil failed to supress the charming smirk on his lips.
"You're still vegetarian na?" she asked.
"Hain?" he asked opening one eye.
"What is she asking. I have done it before too.. No girl had asked such a question. Neil.. Avni is special..and a first timer too. May be she's too nervous" he thought to himself.
"Huhn.. Still pure vegetarian" he told her closing his eyes.
"Tan tanaen.." her sound made him shot open his eyes.
He saw Avni smiling with a chocolate cake in her hand.
Neil laughed at his own wild fantacy and pulled Avni's cheek.
"Why are you laughing?" she asked innocently.
"I was just expecting something else." he pressed his lips together slapped the back of his head.
"Something else.. But chocolate is your favourite." she said looking at the cake.
"I wanted to taste strawberries today" he said looking at her pink glossy lips.
"Tomorrow.. Pakka strawberry" she promised.
"Pakka?" he smirked.
She nodded.
"You're so tubelight!" he patted her cheek and both of them sat on the bed and enjoyed the cake.
"Avni look shooting star" Neil pointed his finger at the sky.
Without looking at the star Avni closed her eyes and wished just a name looking at the sky..."Neil.." the only wish she had.
Avni felt his hot breath kissing her cheek and before she could react Neil licked the chocolate from her cheek with the smooth movement of his lips on her delicate skin.
Avni felt a wave of butterflies running through her veins.
Just then Neil's phone rang and he went out to talk giving her sometime to light her tubelight.
Her hands were shivering and smile couldn't be controlled by any means.
She wanted to dance, to laugh, to smile...to kiss him back but Mr Tillu was out of her sight.
"You have done all the preparations?" Neil asked on phone.
"I m looking for the right chance. Will do that as soon as I get that" he added.
"No.. You don't need to do anything. I'll handle Avni. Just do as I say.." he instructed on phone.
After ending the phone call Neil entered the room and found Avni asleep on the couch. She slept there waiting for him.
"I am sorry Avni. I want to tell you...but" he stopped as a lone tear fell from his eyes.
He picked her up and placed her on bed.
"Good night Ms Ajooba... And thank you for being world's Best Wife." he kissed her forehead and draped blanket over her.
Light went off but Neil's eyes were still sparkling with tears as he caressed Avni's face glowing under silver moonlight.
PRECAP : WILL HE BREAK HER TRUST?
AND BY THE WAY DID YOU GOT WHAT HE'S HIDING?
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Kabhi Neem Neem Kabhi Shahad Shahad
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