My Angel BeHir FF IF_NC_ENTRY Ch 13 on Pg 44

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The.Wanderer

@The.Wanderer

Rocker

Posted: 6 years ago

#361

Originally posted by: Maria.Jewel
I am sorry i got late, done reading chapter 10.
Ash you are really really talented! I can't just pin point but you just ace the expressions and dialogues! I loved how you wrote out Mahir's sullen expression seeing his room turned into a beauty parlour, that dialogue itself was brilliant! ALso that convo in the end between Behir was really nice, revealed many things about Bela to us and Mahir. I have little time and want to read the remaining chapters too so i am going to leave it here.

Thanks Maria!! 😊 Sorry for replying so late. I was watching a movie. Rather, had gone out for a movie.

I love Mahir's sullen expression. It was not too difficult you know. I just remembered his

"Ajeeb dhamki hai yeh. Jab dekho tab dhamki deti rehti ho."

During the Dushera track. 😆

Yes the readers found out a lot about Bella along with Mahir. 😉

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The.Wanderer

@The.Wanderer

Rocker

Posted: 6 years ago

#362

Originally posted by: Maria.Jewel
Chapter 11
It was a pleasant surprise to see Andy as such a nice and patient person😆 Also Yuvi seems to be a really decent guy too so far! Wow Ash you have done a great job bu portraying all these people as positive! Also i know you have ended your story but i can't resist saying that i hope Yuvi plays the cupid and brings Bela and Mahir together, that would be so sweet!

Oh and i really liked that Bela felt attached to Mahir and Sumi and she left her party for them! That is something big considering it was her day of freedom!

I was sick of writing of them as negative and manipulative and also i wanted to give Bella a proper family. For that Andy had to be positive even if his way of showing Affection is a bit twisted. My ma always says that the right girl make a guy human. Be it, sister,wife or daughter. Bella was that right daughter for Andy. She made him a human.

Yuvi is a decent guy but not observant. He is not like MAhir you know. I can't describe him right. He like those guys who will not see things even if they are right under their noses. 😆

Yes even Bella did not know when and how, but she got attached to Ma Sehgal and Beta Sehgal. 😆😆

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The.Wanderer

@The.Wanderer

Rocker

Posted: 6 years ago

#363

Originally posted by: Maria.Jewel
chapter 12
Now if this isn't sheer talent then idk what it is! I mean matlab HOWWW did you do everything in just one update! My heart is all garden garden reading this chapter!

First of all WOW behir are still having study sessions, that does mean 'tere bine guzara aye dil hai mushkil' for both of them😆

Oh man i am just loving Sumi and Andy! Matlab Andy ko bhi idea bahu nazar arahi hai, thats just WOW. Hamare Andy ko toh yeh baat samajhn mein bahot der hogayi :/
And the way you wrote "Bela was perfect for Mahir" dil khush hogaya!

I like how you paired up Yuvi and Anu😆 Perfect for each other 😉

Also this part touched my heart, where Bela has realised her feelings but suppresses them due to the fear of rejection. It felt so realistic!

this chapter has covered literally everything! Cant go into details, have to read the next chapter as well. But i like how you got rid of Jhanvi! There was literally no scope for her to act as a motherly figure for Bela ever! And i am glad Andy and Sumi both didnot judge Bela

Talent ka pata nahi, but pressure jaroor tha. 😆 I was running out of words and I had to do justice to everyone's favorite couple. I hope I managed that. (By the way I am talking about the real BeHir and NOT my BrHir.)

It is deffo the case. Very soon it will be Bahon ki darmiyan, do pyaar mil rahe hai.. 😆

Well humare Andy ne bhi der se hi sahi but yeh realise toh kara ki Bella is best for Mahir. Woh kehate hai na, der aaye durust aaye. 😕😆

I don't make matches made in heaven only, I also love matches made in hell. 😉

For Bella doesn't know if her advances will be accepted by Mahir. Mahir is not that guy who gets into the relationship for the physical aspect of it. She has only met such idiots so far. So she knew hoe to approach them But she has never had a romantic relationship per say. With Mahir romance would be necessary and that is not something she is familiar with. 😆

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The.Wanderer

@The.Wanderer

Rocker

Posted: 6 years ago

#364

Originally posted by: Maria.Jewel
ohmygod i want more!!! I can't believe you are done!!😭
I loved the whole thing Ash! Everything was laid down perfectly!!!! I loved loved how Bela got annoyed by Mahir's silliness and ranted out her lines and Mahir didnot understand anything!!! Ohmygod this reminded me of the flashback moment😭❤️ Ash tussi great ho yaar! Where else would we ever get to see such an amazing confession?

It was bittersweet for me too. 😭😆 But yes it has ended.

I am glad you think it has ended perfectly.

As it is she has NO experience in the romance department, upar se she has written some truly cheesy lines by staying up whole night and this boy is being so stupid!! 😡😆 I was actually tempted to show Bella attacking him with a pillow but then I thought not let things get violent. 😉

And thanks for saying that this confession was perfect. 😭

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Sarah Gul

@sarahgul

Voyager

Posted: 6 years ago

#365

Omg Ash story khatam bhi HOGAYI !! 😭 😭

This story is so beautiful 👏

The way mahir falls in love with bela and seeing the other side of her was So beautiful !!

Being with mahir .. Bela gets a New family and her bond with sumi and Andy was Perfect !! Poor girl she needed that !! I am still angry on belas mother 😡

Mahir is such a cutiepie the way he got jealous to see bela bond with sumi and Andy But somewhere he also like it..

Oh god Ash we need more stories from you 😆 😆

But amazing job Ash the way you focus on characters backstory is amazing .. specially bela and mahir .. 👏

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behirlover

@behirlover

Dazzler

Posted: 6 years ago

#366

chapter 13

all good things are coming to an end whats happening in my life😭😭

oh behir all alone in such a big house and bella is preparing for the night i mean proposal night nothing else. A girl is calling him in her room and he thinks she has lost it like seriously.😲😲 uff what will happen later will they ever have sneaking around wala romance because mahir will think that bella is playing hide and seek with him.

she is asking him how she is looking oh boy what will happen with this guy he is speechless but not complimenting imagine bella coming in negligee he will be like bella is this you childhood dress are you comfortable in this😆😆😆

bella is having such a cool sasuma they exchanging clothes even my mom and my SIL does that this is so good 👏👏 this guy is not getting slightest of hint that its a date she planned dude this girl roaming in shorts is wearing a 5mts saree and you are telling why all this?????? this is completely a role exchange of usual dates.

he can eat himself oh yes yes he is manchild na he knows how to eat his mommy taught him😡😡 he is more interested in gobbling down the pizza not even offering her

bella this girl is going to have a task of life making mahir do things he is trembling and sweating and here she is loosing patience she actually should have caught him tied him to chair and expressed her love that would have been an effective way to get this in his thick head.

such a deep poetic lines and he is not getting a word of it is he totally dumb or was taking revenge for kissing him. see now she did the right thing pin him and threaten him to love her its well said lato k bhoot bato se nahi mante😆😆😆 she herself is not romantic did all these to hear that she has lost it completely.

she should have made him walk on knees as well for killing her mood completely. and then this punishment hayye can he commit some very grave mistakes in future and get much much better and harsher punishment😳😳

mahir is all breathing heavily this boy i am just imagining his morning after reaction he might walk at all out of room and even if he does he will be so blushing that he will cover himself in pallu😆😆😆 and he is in complete mess now she is jsut waiting for his one look then she will unleash real bella on mahir. Hath pakdaya to pura kandha pakad liya. poor guy must be scandalized.

SUDY and BEHIR can go to many romantic trips together and they will have more fun😆😆 well mahir have overall guidance of bella sudy

the confession lines were beautiful neither to fancy nor too lame just a right mixture of a totally non romantic person trying to use words to express feelings where all her life she believed in action although in the end it was the action which helped but still.

nice chapter dear i like it

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behirlover

@behirlover

Dazzler

Posted: 6 years ago

#367

Ash😭😭😭

i hate this part of reviewing of saying good bye😕😕

how many kids did behir had??????? see never miss these details.

so behir got to become housemate and then roommate. and sumi giving a damn about world and keeping her kids together is the best badass attitude and most important thing was andy supported her in this as he is not worried about his name. relatives are always the problematic one so i dont expect anything from them.

Ash this story was way different then other here behir had no connection with each other neither friendship nor hatred but then they build a pure selfless relation. bella for the first time got someone who is not there to take anything but to give her immense love and care. mahir got a relation in bella who dont judge him and like him and admire him the way he want. they both are each others strength and provide the base for facing the world confidently. behir would be the best parents as in their childhood they have experienced how exactly they dont want to be as parents.

sudy were so understanding and friendly that they are best parents available for behir.

ash this story writing was tough you had to express so much withing time and word limit and also make sure that the story should not a loophole although it wasnt as detailed as we are use to reading from you but give a proper view of the story.

you build up characters totally from scratch here except for name none of the characters match the name we associate with. You did such an amazing job of breaking our perception about characters and making them look so convincing without leaving any flaws in their description never in the character nor in their nature. you maintained the essence of behir a relation solely based on love in this even though characters were different by nature and behaviour.

you took word limit as a challenge and described it so beautifully that it hardly felt the story is missing something

excellent work dear I was already fan of your writing but with this ff you tried to build up a story in such a short span of time and with such a good way this work of yours make me admire your imagination and story writing ability.

loved this story i will not say that it was the great to have a proper end because i would have loved to read many more chapters about this as there are so many available options but i am happy that it was not abrupt. you covered many emotions in it and phase of behir's life about how they met and fell in love and it was very well written.

I am really hoping that you will win this and I dont know the result yet but for me you will always be the winner. ALL THE VERY BEST DEAR

amazing amazing chapter just like you a very beautiful person

i really wish sometime in near future you continue this ahead

lots of love

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VARUNI2014

@VARUNI2014

Rocker

Posted: 6 years ago

#368

Originally posted by: behirlover
chapter 13

all good things are coming to an end whats happening in my life 😭😭

oh behir all alone in such a big house and bella is preparing for the night i mean proposal night nothing else. A girl is calling him in her room and he thinks she has lost it like seriously.😲😲 uff what will happen later will they ever have sneaking around wala romance because mahir will think that bella is playing hide and seek with him.

she is asking him how she is looking oh boy what will happen with this guy he is speechless but not complimenting imagine bella coming in negligee he will be like bella is this you childhood dress are you comfortable in this😆😆😆

bella is having such a cool sasuma they exchanging clothes even my mom and my SIL does that this is so good 👏👏 this guy is not getting slightest of hint that its a date she planned dude this girl roaming in shorts is wearing a 5mts saree and you are telling why all this?????? this is completely a role exchange of usual dates.

he can eat himself oh yes yes he is manchild na he knows how to eat his mommy taught him😡😡 he is more interested in gobbling down the pizza not even offering her

bella this girl is going to have a task of life making mahir do things he is trembling and sweating and here she is loosing patience she actually should have caught him tied him to chair and expressed her love that would have been an effective way to get this in his thick head.

such a deep poetic lines and he is not getting a word of it is he totally dumb or was taking revenge for kissing him. see now she did the right thing pin him and threaten him to love her its well said lato k bhoot bato se nahi mante😆😆😆 she herself is not romantic did all these to hear that she has lost it completely.

she should have made him walk on knees as well for killing her mood completely. and then this punishment hayye can he commit some very grave mistakes in future and get much much better and harsher punishment😳😳

mahir is all breathing heavily this boy i am just imagining his morning after reaction he might walk at all out of room and even if he does he will be so blushing that he will cover himself in pallu😆😆😆 and he is in complete mess now she is jsut waiting for his one look then she will unleash real bella on mahir. Hath pakdaya to pura kandha pakad liya. poor guy must be scandalized.

SUDY and BEHIR can go to many romantic trips together and they will have more fun😆😆 well mahir have overall guidance of bella sudy

the confession lines were beautiful neither to fancy nor too lame just a right mixture of a totally non romantic person trying to use words to express feelings where all her life she believed in action although in the end it was the action which helped but still.

nice chapter dear i like it