Things NOT to say on Valentines Day

Things not to say on your Valentine's date... 1. I really don't like this restaurant that much, but I wanted to use this 2-for-1 coupon before it expired. 2. People say I remind them of Eddie Haskell. 3. I used to come here all the time with my ex. 4. I never said you NEED a nose job. I just said it wouldn't hurt to consider it. 5. Could you excuse me? My cat gets lonely if he doesn't hear my voice on the answering machine every hour. 6. I like clay. It's mushy. 7. I really feel that I've grown in the past few years. Used to be I wouldn't have given someone like you a second look. 8. And I won that trophy in the inter-fraternity belching contest. 9. I know you said you don't eat anything with a face. But a good butcher will cut that part off for you if you ask.

10. It's been tough, but I've come to accept that most people I date just won't be as smart as I am.