Shattered Defences - a SaJan SS PT 2 - Pg 4 - Page 6

OMG OMG OMG AANII :O:O a big big HUGG to you for this AWESOME SS 🤗 🤗 am so so happy reading the SS and especially, the second part OMG can actually imagine Aditya aka Ram Kapoor as Samrat's dad here☺️ OMG you know was already his fan as liked him alot in Kasamh Se as Jay Walia but here toh he is super CUTEEE as Ram Kapoor in BALH and now have become a loyal fan of him totally ..and thats the reason I can so imagine Sam-Aditya bonding here 😳

awwiiee and the way you have described Sam's dad i.e Aditya is so lovely man..they are SO adorable together 🤪 couldnt stop myself imagining man HAHAHAA am I drooling or what? 😆 yes 🤣 but then its all your fault 🤣 you have described those scenes and their bonding SO perfectly<3 want more scenes on them now awwiiee I so wanna see baby and Ram together onscreen/offscreen someday..never thought about them before 😆 but this is just amazing! thank youuu so much for keeping Ram as Aditya - Sam's dad here

and and now coming to our boy, AWWW he is SO adorable and super CUTE☺️ love the way you have described everything about him and his thoughts about Gunjan 😍 aww even loved that appartment wala parts how cute! and Please PLEASEEE if possible, dont end it SO soon..even wanna see Gunjan-Ram's scenes and also the trio talks and all hayye am toh so lost in their dreamland na😍

loved the first part too..Gunjan's character here is awesome as well! love everything and now am waiting for more Sam-Aditya ;) Pleaseee update soon cant wait to read further <3 and AWW do I need to say about SaJan? damm eagerly waiting for SaJan scenes ;D

Aahana,

In the week I decide to take a break from IF, you pen a SS. However I see that it is a work in progress, and so that distant chatter of people ooing and aaing over your words is only a stone's throw away so that I may add my own voice too.

Chapter one

I love how you accentuate the differences of Gunjan through her past quiet life in Morena against the city that never sleeps. Skillfully done. That contrast of activity and din against her almost meditation, just breathe...exhale... Then that continued theme of comparison but a new branch, towered above the one that she now herself lived in or dwarfed by it. I loved this little girl lost, almost Dorothy over the rainbow ambiance that you set up. Excellently done.

There was no sight of a crescent moon that shone down its luminescent light upon the moss here, nor the appearance of twinkling stars in sight... for miles on ahead all there was, was a jungle... a jungle of concrete before her eyes. Again I loved this branch, the constrast this time of nature and hardness of city life which you unite in concrete jungle just subtle and skillful penmanship. You also hint at her wholesomeness, that in a city most certainly brimming over in electric lights, she misses that luminescence of star and moon light. Her preference for the earthly over worldly. Finely done.

Then you weave in the theme of distance, those phyiscal distances from the place she grew up in but also that spiritual distance, of affinity with a way of life, beautifully contrasted in a most insightful manner, the sight of someone on the road meant trouble or possible danger.

I loved, JUST LOVED this phrase, Tell him away Very much inspired.

before she switched off the lights of her room, pulling the covers on her drifting away in a sound dreamless sleep. Then this last line, that antithesis of all those thoughts from before, her acclimation to this city. Nicely done. A wonderful introduction to an endearing characterization, you made us care for her which is quite difficult to do in an instant.

Chapter two.

I was interested in that tweaking of SG, as your disclaimer in your first post hinted at, and I am glad to say I loved this detailing of Aditya in Samrat's life. Samrat had this wholesomeness, innocence that couldn't be explained by an upbringing of TV and society, it always seemed odd to me, and which I had decided to create a character in his past, a servant or friend that nurtured these qualities in him, in Aditya you have created a most wondrous means to the ends that is Samrat. Excellently done.

even as he had turned 18 dint have a girlfriend!! Exactly, how could a guy like that not have girlfriend? The enigma that is Samrat. Wonderfully noted and further detailed by you. I loved it.

"Dad...actually, there is this girl..." barely had Samrat said those words did he find himself being crushed in an enormous bear hug from his dad, praying for his dear life as his dad seemed to squeeze it right out of him in his euphoria. 😆😆😆 Just the cutest moment, wonderfully set up comedic moment, the punchline coming in at the perfect moment. I love your funny side, it is well, funny and compliments your soulful side wonderfully well.

Although you say five parts, I am hoping for a very long run, this story is just too enticing, intriguing and has been penned well by you leaving you many avenues to play, work and delve upon. Just hinting not asking, even though I am in the begging position.

With much love, Sabah

omg chater 2 was amazing 🤗

Originally posted by: sashazmohit

ita really nice to have u back ani

i read both updates n they were just awesome

n ram kapoor 😳it would be trat to watch monaya n gautmi n ram ghosh😍both will look like a family😉

anyways its just awesome peice of writing

plz update soon

add me in pm list its a treat to read

saddii

thanks so much Saadi 😊

Originally posted by: hbkumar

Actually I cant take credit for being insightful...your writing is so good...and it can be so only if the writer has great empathy & also has felt such emotions her/himself...see.. you're waiting for the Mr.Right to find you and sweep you off your feet..but your expectations are tempered with the undertsanding that there no Mr.Perfect, or for that matter, Ms. Perfect in reality 😃that combo again😃 its absolutely delightful and so endearing that you romantisize and then sober yourself with doses of reality so that you dont make yourself that vulnerable & get hurt by anyone or any situation you might put yourself in..Gunjan is You in this SS..again Delightful🤗

HB my writing may say a lot about me but its upon a reader to decipher things is all I can say 😳 and i believe in giving credit where its due 😊

Originally posted by: SajanRox

Awesome SS!

thanks dear 😊

Originally posted by: RadhikaBhushan

superbbb

thanks Radhika 😊

Originally posted by: hiii

omg chater 2 was amazing 🤗

seriosuly loved the father son duo

and i couldnt agree with you more on your choice of making ram his dad :D

lovely update do continue soon

waiting for more

love

tanzeel

thanks Tanzeel 😊

Meera and Sabah will reply to u two in a while have to leave for now am just posting this note so it doesnt seem i forgot ur replies or neglected to reply back 😳