no meens, he isn't in the same boat ... for one, he's
not the one sitting in the wheelchair , and secondly, and this is the analysis I was actually thinking about last night and never got down to doing 😕 .... HIS love has been through the test of fire ... he's seen his Chashmish slipping away from him, and then come back as though by a miracle ... the feeling of loss he had when she walked away from him, was NOTHING compared to the feeling that he had when she lay in that hospital bed fighting for her life ... now he KNOWS that whatever happens, he cannot lose her, he will do everything he can to get her back, because losing her is not an option he can live with. Hi vulnerability when she walked away from him, was NOTHING compared to the helplessness and sheer despair he felt when he thought she was dying ...
And I think that is what has given him strength to fight even his own precious Chashmish ... earlier he used to treat her with kid gloves, if she said anything, it was - yes, you're right, you can never be wrong,
but now he's saying that no, if you send me away from you, it's wrong, because even death cannot take you away from me, and if you feel it's because you're no longer whole and perfect for me, well, I'll show you that you're wrong by making you get up on your feet again ... the only problem is, that is NOT the whole problem for her. So he HAS the strength and the confidence in their love, and she has lost it ... partly because of the loss of her legs and even more so because of what happened that night. Both the wounds are festering inside her ... and both are feeding off the other ... which one has to heal first is the issue - whether her getting up on her feet again will bring back her confidence, or whether her faith in him and their love will finally push her to walk again. And I think it's the second ... but how he's going to do this, I really don't know ...
@ diya....when i meant the same boat i meant d day of valentine, he d eternal emotional cripple was crippled further when d one lease of life in his life walked out on him n he was left all alone as usual......when gunji went into coma her soul was alive , her heart n mind had blanked, so in many she didnt allow ne one to reach her or touch her even d hurt.....but samrat wud have lived thousand deaths n his dire helplessness n his inability to let her go was what brought a new lease of life to her soul.......she's now on wheel chair but my point is its accidental and docs r have green signal that she can walk n its a possibility which doent require a miracle ....all it requires is the will power n love to believ in urself n belive in d reason to fight this out.....according to me the very reason sam is pushing her to walk first is becoz that in sumway created further damage to the emotional turmoil gunji was already going thru......if he professe his love n tries to make her understand that her disability in no ways means she's ne less beuatiful than before for him, she will only miscostrue it as pity n burdening.....coz her inability is overriding the pain of her heart....this inability is sumthing that made her come to a conclusion that she's not worthy of sam's love coz she's not equal to sammy nemore....even when she tells her di first why she refused to acknowledge their love to her bauji, the reason she gave was she does not want sammmy to change just for her sake, he has accept n belive in n want d marriage for himself n themselves, then only they will be equals.....
but post holi, this new idea of pity for her own self or her situations, where she sees herself unequal to samrat is making her create a new tangent to push samrat to sumone else......i keep wondering when a girl who has so much love to give in herself y does she fail to love her own self...coz they say it right when they claim
"love oneself first then everything else will fall in line even if times are at its worst,"
but when u pity urself u have not loved urself enuf right or have stopped loving urself altogether?...i guess d only answer i can satisfy myself is with the fact that more than physical disability sammy's desertion created a hole in her heart, a vacuum that she's finding tough to fill, doesn't know how to live him and cannot accept that she cant live without him....stranger r d ways of love.......
dis is the very reason that sam is pushing her to walk first, coz when she does that she will atleast see herself as equal to him n then he can make her understand that he was lost n burnt out by his past,
but as long as she's there with him he will brave any number of fights
even d most deepest fear of his, getting married,
not because she wants it but because with only her it seems ever right
n to make her understand n achieve the emotional completeness he wants for themselves
he feels she needs to see herself physically complete or else everything he says is gonna go unheard by her
thats prob d reason, i think he wants to give her d confidence she lost in herself first n then an opportunity to explore and rediscover the eternal beauty of their love which has always been there but just playing hide n seek as they sail thru d this emotional roller coaster ride of fate but whichever way when they emerge from this, they better seal their togetherness for once n all mind heart n soul, coz this a fight of lifetime for both of them so it shud forge a basement that nothing ever in future can touch it
There can be storms in ur life n it better be there or else smooth sailing will drown u with its comfort before u realize, but when the storms rage at u, fight it with ur love than with ur insecurities....
d result u crave while bracing the storms of life shud be that let fate take over anything
but leave me my beloved's love , the one who always n only ever, meant to me everything
@ bold diya....laods of hugs to u for that.🤗...u have snatched d words out of me n left nothing for me to say dear...thats precisely been d base of my POV all along 😉
PS: diya, mads, ayesha, naveen, yashi, gia, gina....this has been the most fulfilling discusiion i have had on SAJAN so far coz while it allowed me to live my POV, i cud also enjoy all ur POVs
even when they were so diff from mine, n when d perspectives r diff, u have a wider dimension to understand n realize diff angles of the same issue u face
....so loads of hugs to u all
🤗
Edited by meens1981 - 15 years ago
