"It Was Better To Break Up Rather Than Land Up In A Divorce Six Months Later.'
Kishwer Merchant has never been one of your typical run-of-the-mill actresses. She has not only played the roles of the emblematic conniving daughter-in-law but also portrayed strong characters that have stood out amongst the mundane everyday telecasts. Her performances in serials like Hip Hip Hurray, Kavyanjali, and Dhadkan certainly made her a face to reckon with.
It goes without saying that something one automatically relates her with is her now ex-boyfriend Hiten Paintal, as she's always been upfront about her love life. But, at the moment, there's a lot more to talk about. Just recently this pretty actress has returned to the small screen after a very long self-imposed sabbatical of nine months.
Her face lights up as she talks about her comeback. "It feels great to get back to the grind. My journey has been really nice. But I just want to keep working because there's so much more to achieve. Right now I am very happy doing Main Kab Saas Banungi and Namak Haram. Main Kab… is a comedy where I play a Bihari gawti. It's very different from whatever I have done so far and I think it's a good comeback character," she giggles.
However, doesn't she feel she never got her due as an actress since she hasn't been the leading lady in any of her serials? "People who meet me, tell me that I am not a bad actress. And production houses I have worked with have always repeated me. So I don't think ki lead nahin kiya toh kuch nahin kiya.
Plus, in Dhadkan I was somewhat a lead even though I won't put it in the same bracket as other shows because it was different. Honestly, I don't really feel bad about it because I don't think I have a face for the typical Indian sari-clad aansu bahanewaali bahu. I have no complaints. In reality I feel nice that I am known for my character roles," says a content Kishwer.
Taking into consideration her many individualistic roles, didn't she ever have a problem being a part of saas bahu serials seeing that they have been regarded as regressive by many? "It's just a state of mind you know. At the start of my career I did shows like Dhadkan and Hip Hip Hurray so for me to get into a saas bahu show was a little weird. But I guess I just got used to it. Plus, these shows were also working with the audience so it was all good."
When a serial like Dhadkan came along, many thought it would change the face of Indian soaps. But that never happened. Was she disappointed? "When Dhadkan went off air for a show Madhuri Dixit was doing on TV (Shubh Vivah) I was very upset. I absolutely love her but that show was pathetic.
Till I was doing Dhadkan such things bothered me but once it went off air, I never hassled. There was no point in thinking why am I saying this or doing that because the director wanted things in a certain way as that's what sold. In fact, after a while a lot of actors gave up asking questions as dailies would require back to back shooting," she says blatantly.
There was a time when Kishwer was mostly seen doing negative characters. And many had also said it had become her label. How does she feel about that? "I think I did get typecast to an extent over there.
I started doing negative roles from Kutumb and after that most of the characters I was asked to play were negative. But, I am going to break that trend now since I am back from my nine month vacation."
She's pretty excited about coming back to work now but when I ask her the reason for this long break she pauses for a while before answering it. "I went on a break after I broke up with Hiten. I wasn't really in a frame of mind to do anything at that time. You know the days when you just want to be home and go out with friends and all.
I didn't want to attend any Page 3 parties or anything. I was obviously going out, but only with my close friends. In these nine months I went to Dubai with my mom so that I could unwind. And from January 2009 I have finally come back to work. It took me a while but I managed," she smiles.
Kishwer seems to have closed that chapter of her life but there was a time when both she and Hiten looked like the perfect couple. Be it parties or events, they were everywhere. So, what really drove them apart? "Well, the three-and-a-half years I spent with him were beautiful. I seriously have no complaints as I was very close to his family.
I was actually like a bahu in their house. After pack-up I would go to his house and heat up his food. We would sit and eat together. Then, we'd go for a drive and I'd come back and say bye to uncle and aunty," she recollects. "I think, in the last few months, we started having a lot of misunderstandings suddenly. That's when we realized we just weren't thinking alike and to prolong something like that didn't make sense because a couple can't live on different pages forever.
So, we thought it was better to break up rather than land up in a divorce six months later. We were planning to get married but it was a mutual decision. It's not like we didn't talk to each other after the break-up. We did since we had so many common friends at that time. But now, we have our own set of friends so we don't really bump into each other a lot. I mean I am not really in touch with him."
Despite the fact that they are no longer together, she is still known as Hiten's ex-girlfriend? Does that bother her? "It doesn't bother me because I feel it's just a matter of time. For us to move on has taken time so I am sure for people to get over the fact that they aren't Hiten-Kishwer anymore will also take time. You know, even after six months of our break-up, not many people knew we weren't together," she says unmoved.
"Like in between when I was shooting for Paani Puri after my break-up, Shagufta Ali asked me how both of us were. At that time I just got up and went to my make-up room because I didn't want to be present when this conversation was happening.
Later, Smita Bansal did tell her that we weren't together anymore but there were so many similar situations I was caught in. I never wanted to answer questions or get involved in these discussions and that's why I chose to be by myself," she says assertively.
Long term relationships are never easy to come out of. You share lives together for years. So didn't they try to reconcile their differences at any point in time? "We tried to talk it over but it just didn't work. I don't think it was really meant to be.
We were totally in love; maybe we still are, I don't know. But I know we don't want to get back with each other. Even the love, I guess, has taken a backseat after these nine months and it's just going to be that way. I don't think Hiten and Kishwer will get back."
Nevertheless, keeping in mind she was so close to his family. Didn't they try to help? "They did but how much can they do? If there are problems between the guy and the girl they can't really help them because we have to live together at the end of the day. If we aren't happy with each other, there's no point in the families getting involved and trying to get us back. We just chose to let it all go," she says innately.
Also, according to the grapevine when Hiten and Kishwer were together they were said to have signed on Nach Baliye 3 but something happened and they were replaced. What actually went wrong there? "I guess they wanted controversial couples," says Kishwer acceptingly.
"The couples they signed for Nach 3 weren't even couples. When we had signed it, we had Eijaz-Anita, Ravee-Manoje and Barkha-Indraneil along with us. But they were just looking for controversy all the way and we obviously wouldn't give it to them. That's why we didn't do it. Plus, at that time Hiten had just signed Bachna Ae Haseeno.
After which we were okay with the fact that we weren't doing Nach…as his schedules of Bachna…were going to start. He had a brilliant role in it and I think he did an awesome job. I loved the film. And I saw it four times. I think both Ranbir and Hiten were awesome in the film."
Talking about his films, at one point in time, rumours had also suggested that he wasn't very comfortable with her getting into Bollywood and that's why she consciously chose to stay away from the big screen. How true were they? "See I was a part of the family and for me, I was literally married to him.
If my family didn't want it, I wouldn't do it. If today my mother also tells me I don't think you should work in television. If after reasoning it out with her she has more valid points than I do, I'd probably stop working on TV. And well, maybe their reasons were stronger than mine. There was a boy in the house who was doing it and I didn't need to. So that was okay," she says categorically.
But didn't she feel that she gave in too much? "He gave in a lot too. I mean that's something we all do right?" she questions me and goes on. "It's always give and take in a relationship. I am not going to say I gave more and he didn't. Both of us gave in our best but it still didn't work out for us."
She's in deep thought as she says this and so, sensing a little bit of her anxiety I decide to ask her something else. Is she open to Bollywood now? "Yes," she grins broadly and continues. "I want to do good character roles especially after watching a Jaane Tu Ya Jaane Na and a Rock On.
I love watching Koel Puri and Konkana Sen Sharma type of films so I would love to do such roles too. I am dying to work with Farhan Akhtar. Whatever I have been offered have been B-grade and C-grade films. And that's certainly not what I am looking for. I don't mind doing a small character role in a big film because at least there would be a certain chance of visibility," she says happily.
Show business in India requires a lot of glamour and sizzle. Is she open to the kind of skin show that they require? "For Bollywood films I wouldn't stoop to wearing a bikini. Even though I just might have a good body I wouldn't be comfortable," she says self-assuredly.
"I can wear the shortest clothes that are backless till my waist but I wouldn't wear a bikini. And skin show technically also comes when one is doing a lead role in a film. I am not really looking for that. I am looking for character roles. If I am playing a friend to the lead character I wouldn't have to do it," she thinks for a second and laughs.
"But it actually depends; if I am opposite John Abraham in a film I might just do it."
Both Kishwer and Hiten are in the same line of work; how would she react if she got an offer to act with Hiten? "I would obviously do it because we are both professionals. But I think he's concentrating more on Bollywood right now."
After her separation with Hiten, she seems to have really come out on her own. Have her priorities changed at this point? "Yes they definitely have. For the next three years it's only going to be work. Taking the nine month break from work didn't help me at all professionally but I was honestly in no state of mind to do anything. Now that I have come back to work, marriage, dating and relationships can all take a back seat."
Falling in love again isn't a part of the list anymore? "No it isn't. I was not enjoying being single earlier but after January 2009 I am having a blast. I love being single right now."
Kishwer has always been different from the rest. And positively so. But is there any episode in her life that she regrets the most? "Well, yes there is," she says matter of factly. "I guess I would want to change the last fight Hiten and I had. But I don't think
I'll be able to do so. Nonetheless, right now, it's just work, my parents and me," she ends positively.
Being happy doesn't mean that everything is perfect. It means that you've decided to look beyond the imperfections. And Kishwer is bravely doing just that.
Anupamaa
Cricket
