Author's note: Hi, guys! This story might seem slightly confusing but it's more of a sub-conscious/unconscious Ranveer telling his story when he has no one around and all hopes are fading for him (During the time the duplicate is taking over and spoiling his reputation). Hopefully you'd like it. :)
I walk in the dead of the night as silvery rain pours over my head, wetting me to the depth of my soul and torturing me as if laughing at my helplessness and refreshing the wounds I have received so far in life. I try to hide from it, cover myself from it; but the droplets of the rain pierce through the barriers that I create. All the time. Life, as is said, is never an easy affair and one has to pass through the test of time that awaits everyone on each step of their life, but sometimes it seems there is no end to such misery and as long as one lives every day one has to pass the test. To not just prove one's worth but to survive.
I walk alone, as night grows deeper and cold stronger with time. There is no light as if there was none. As if no light was meant to cross my path. All I see is a dark shroud covering me as far as I go. It never lets me free from its grasp and whenever I try to escape it, it entangles itself around me just like the rain falling over me. I crave to see light, but there is none. Only horrendous darkness that abides in my soul is visible. I keep wondering if this is real. I have seen nightmares. Horrible nightmares. As a child and afterwards too, but none seemed as real as this one. I fear this as the chilly air fills my hair and I again try to hide myself only to be exposed to the worst. I know not what could be worse than what I'm already feeling.
Sometimes it all seems like a dream but sometimes I find myself being non-existent in the reality that never belonged to me. Whenever I cry only my own voice echoes in the walls created by the bricks of darkness. Whenever I shout, I find myself struggling to let a word to be out and I only hear my own voices in whispers, as if someone has blocked my voice's way out. It all is in vain. For I appear to be a shadow...a mere shadow which is doomed to exist but not recognized or loved. Never.
The frosty wind bites my nerves but I find myself helpless. As helpless as a child who cannot move without the help of his mother. I'm abandoned, but I know not why. I cannot see any hands raising to help me. I cannot hear any voices to comfort me. I have never been afraid of dark, but this ceaseless darkness is snatching all the senses out of me. So many names of my friends come to my mind but none reply. I feel their presence but all seem to overlook me as if I am not present for them.
I walk further. Not having any inkling of my path, for nothing is visible beyond my eyelids. It's still raining and I am drenched completely. But now this is not the water of the rain that rests on my body: it's the blood that has trickled from my sore heart and simmered my entire self. It hurts. But No comfort is there...not yet.
As I trample on I can see the eyes of the people staring at me. Strange eyes glaring at me with a fierce dislike as if desiring me to burn in a fire. I try to look into them, to know if they have any answers of my questions but only scornful hisses with more intense glares are returned. They drive me away or walk themselves away. I find this outrageous, for no answer is given and no friend remains there. Amidst the strangers I can see many familiar eyes but having the same glum, fiery glare that appears to burn me into black ashes. I stare at them for I know who they belong to, but they too disappear as I cry aloud to them. Slowly as time wears on I can hear a faint laugh. Someone is laughing contemptuously at me and it reminds me what has become of me and why.
"Someone answer me!" I cry, as I give up, but no answer is returned without any nag and I find myself enmeshed in a world that only takes one's life, peace and love away, without any way out. This is what it has done to me. This is more horrifying than all the ghastly blows my heart has endured so far.
"Is this the end?" I ask myself, in hope to see if something within me answers my own question. But it is same as ever. Rain still falls, my heart still bleeds, my wounds still remain open, hurt, and no reply comes. I feel tired as there is no strength left. It feels I have walked enough and my feet cannot carry the weight of my tired self anymore. The world around grows darker, the silvery drops of rain turn into the rain of blood, the eyes stare at me without blinking themselves, the fire within them pierces my flesh, the hideous laughter can still be heard, and loneliness gnaws at my mind. Yet I hear a soft, melancholy voice ringing in my head but it takes me nowhere or perhaps it does. And it has- I do not know.
I hear myself whisper something but cannot make up what it all means for there I see at the end...a white light gleaming at me. The gleam is so strong at once that I block its way to my eyes with my both hands. It dazzles and confuses me as my eyes hurt.
"It cannot be real," I tell myself. "This is a dream."
But there is more, or so I see. The light grows in strength and becomes lithe as it blears the malevolent murkiness behind me. I walk towards the light, wondering if there is anything beyond it: a way, a hope or anything that ends the night of my life; but before I am there a slumber steals over my eyes and I am unconscious.
"Am I dead?" I ask myself. An anticipation of no answer still scares me and expect none.
But this time, to my own astonishment, I hear a voice. A serene, sad, and musical voice comes to me.
"No, you are not." I hear someone say. It seems I had forgotten what it was to be alive. "Open your eyes, but carefully," the voice continues.
I do as instructed and find myself in a familiar place. No gloom lurks over here and no rain wets my hair, no blood and no wound hurts me anymore. I check myself but am pacified by the kind but stern voice. And now, here I am- in a quiescent place, away from all my enemies and those eyes that had abandoned me.
"Who are you?" I say, and in return feel a gentle touch caressing my forehead and stroking my hair. It soothes me and makes me realize what was missing from my life, from soul, from my heart. What had caused this darkness in me and what had made my heart and all the wounds go so sour. Ishani. Yes, I was devoid of her presence. I feel her. I feel her tears slowly falling over my cheeks and purifying my soul. A mention of her presence gives me back my life. I can hear the peals her silent grief in her words as she comforts me with her touch.
I settle myself on bed and I stare at her face: it is sad; tears are flowing from her eyes like a cascade of water in rains, but her face has a smile. The smile that I always wanted to see on her face...the smile I love. She slowly caresses my face as if making me believe everything is fine. Her eyes still speak a thousand of words without her saying anything at all. I hold her hand and pull her closer. In a few moments I feel her head leaning on my chest and her hands circled around my neck. My own hands run to her hair as she cries.
"Don't cry," I tell her, but she sobs harder.
"I didn't know what you had been going through," she speaks through her sobs.
"It's alright, Ishani," I comfort her but she shakes her head.
"It was my fault. I shouldn't have trusted others. I just came to know..." her voice weakens as she stares at me sadly.
"Ishani, it was hell. It really was but as long as I have you I can endure any of it."
She puts her palm on my lips. "I'll endure any hell for you. Whenever you need me, I'm never there."
"No, Ishani. It's you who gives me courage to fight. It was you who made me fight for everything. If not you, I'd have given up...long, long ago."
My words work on her as she looks at me, observing my face closely, and wipes the tears that appear on my face while talking to her.
"We will fight through this," she says firmly. "You don't have to battle with these demons alone. I'm with you."
"I was never alone," I say and I feel her lips softly pressing against mine. All the nightmares fade into darkness as the light of our love shines through, driving all the fearful emotions away from us forever.
The entire story is in bits similar to JRR Tolkien's poem 'The Sea-bell' and that is where I have drawn the inspiration for this OS from. I always wanted to write something inspired from The Sea-bell for MATHS and this new track just gave me that. Thank you everyone who read it. :)
Kyunki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi 2
Bade Achhe Lagte Hain
