Riya- More Dobby than Durga -_-

What a let down after her supposedly new re-entry into the Srivastav house! The first episode where she comes back to shanti sadan was so fantastic, it seemed to give hope to us all that FINALLY she would grow a pair and teach them all a lesson. How long are they going to drag this out for -_- so fedup of waiting for some payback to shanti and co. I know there is a little with the silly antics that riya is playing at, but seriously, if they keep going at this pace we'll all be in nursing homes by the time we see any significant change happening. Ugh 🤢. The CVs had one job- to get riyas dignity back after the bullcrap that she has endured AND put herself through. They had two paths for this- either they get her character to lift her head up high and refuse to enter that household again; she could have carried on working, furthered her career, met a new boy and to make shivam jealous ( I only say that to preserve the integrity of the ""romance"" between riya and shivam otherwise personally I would throw him over a cliff if I were her) and then they could get shivam to try his best to win her back, be a proper husband, friend AND partner and they could team up and put shanti in her place somehow. Maybe slowly get the whole family on board. They could have pretended they weren't getting along in the house infront of everyone- you know, put in some sexual/love tension in there and then when they were alone together they would be all loved up. OR they could have had riya force her way back into shanti sadan the CLEVER way. At first it started out that way, with the lawyer and threatening jail time if they didn't abide by the court order. But then it took a big bloody nose dive? They could have had her threaten shanti with another visit from the lawyer or police (very much like rani did) for even considering to marry shivam off to another woman. They could have showed shivam to not care about her infront of everyone, but when alone it would be HIM bringing her the food, not her stupid MIL for godsake! 😕 They had the perfect opportunity to show the viewers that he loves this woman despite everything. We could have seen more of shivam's "quiet" suffering when alone, feeling awful that she isn't sleeping in a bed and being illtreated. He could have sneaked her supplies- even if he shouted at her and was still cold with her- his actions would have communicated his deeper feelings. There would be some tension there, but good romantic tension. Something that would make the viewers want to watch more of. Not this bullsh*t, where we hardly see him and WHEN we do see him he is looking at her like she is a piece of dirt on his shoe or callously ignoring her suffering in that house. I never watched the first IPKKND and am watching the reruns now and man, whoever wrote THAT storyline got it spot on- at least so far. There is that building sexual tension, the romantic broodiness between the two of them and you still have the villains doing their villainous things but god, you're still desperately rooting for Arnav and Khushi. But THIS BS here is just- c'mon guys! Who here is liking shivam even a little bit for Riya?? Zero romance, zero chemistry, zero everything. Its kind of sickening to watch how riya is like some desperate bimbo trying to "win" him back no matter how much she gets degraded for it. I feel sorry for her- as in I pity her. I don't feel proud of her or feel like "yeah you go girl, you show them!"... because shes not teaching anyone a lesson at all. Shes practically begging them to let her stay like a dog on their floor. Yes there are MOMENTS when she seems strong and resolute to put shanti in her place but then she ruins it completely with the stupid antics- the results of which are fleeting and temporary- she hardly effects any change. I don't know guys- I mean SO FAR the story is just pointless. What the hell did she come back for then??? Someone said somewhere that she doesn't even bother defending her parents when they are getting insulted by shanti and its so true. She could come back with so many smart replies- I mean she was close to it when she told shanti that if she had been raised by her then she would have turned out like sarla- and that was pretty good... but we need to hear more of that kind of thing from her. A systematic and targeted attempt on shanti to break her down, chip away at her inflated ego, threaten her SELF control. We know that shanti has great control over the whole family- but if Riya could start chipping away at Shanti's ability to control herself and force her to slip up somewhere then she would get somewhere. Riya is supposed to be clever- savvy- not just good at managing expenses (which actually she was in shanti sadan had shanti not foiled her every attempt and had the family trusted her) or good at her career or coming up with ideas- I mean shes supposed to be smart at catching people out and really seeing their true nature. Theres no continuity or logic to her character because the writers pick and choose at random when she is to be smart and when she is to be a bimbo. I mean who is like that in real life?? Its so unrealistic- Im not surprised her acting is off- yours would be too if you had such a weird script where one moment youre a strong woman and the next you're Dobby (a house elf treated like a slave, to those who aren't Harry Potter fans). How are we supposed to be proud of her when we all just waiting for her to screw up again?? Im sorry I started watching this show right from the beginning because now im stuck with it- I want to know what the end will be but man, I wish we could just fast forward through everything every three months, its so tedious with all this dragging out. And not to mention the side stories of ashok and sharmilli etc. Boring. I want a new romance thread to start with Vyom and Nimmi- I want Vyom to realise what kind of a woman she is and that they could be a strong team and get on really well if he just kicked Pari to the side once and for all. I don't care about the whole Pari/Vyom past relationship- its so old and boring now and Im over it and how yukky it was. Whatever- its done, can we PLEASE move on with another romance track and get these two falling in love? I cant watch this stupid riya and shivam anymore- it was crap enough to begin with when riya was having some weird one sided love affair with him and NOW that she is going through the worst of it, they are bringing a new woman. You know- even if Shivam gets to the mandap and stops just before putting the sindoor on this Chanda (if it gets to that)- I ask you guys? How is that ever going to be romantic for riya and shivam?? It doesn't exactly warm your heart does it? If your own husband went ALL the way from getting engaged to almost marrying another woman before realising he really wanted you back- tell me honestly- would YOU want him back? 😡 Chi! Its so yukky. Shivam revolts me as it is now- but man oh man, if he even looks at Chanda in a romantic way, I mean, I think he'll just be an outright pig after that. Hes already pretty close to it as it is now. Sorry to anyone who doesn't like what ive said about him- Im only talking about his character, obviously. To me hes a villain now- and for riya to want THAT is so self degrading, I cant even describe it anymore. You know, we should be the ones writing their story, we'd do a much better job of it AND send out the right message at the same time. Not this crap about smart girls turning moronic the moment they get married. I thought maybe Chanda was a set-up by Riya and Bunty after that cloak and dagger conversation they had over the phone. But now not so sure- sometimes the writers conveniently leave out entire bits of the story they have aired and confuse the hell out of us. I mean look at what happened with Sarla and the whole Shivya wedding fiasco- her major involvement in it came abruptly to a close- no one seemed to give a crap and shivam conveniently just swept it aside as if he didn't know what had really happened. So I wouldn't be surprised if that convo between bunty and riya has been all but forgotten by the writers- lets hope im wrong and chanda really is a setup. It would have been a great story line if she is- could really teach shanti, khushia and sarla a lesson and show them just how awful another Bahu could really get. But Im seriously doubting it at the moment. So here we have this idiotic ""love"" triangle- we think. The third option the writers could have taken was to get riya out the house, follow her own path, fall in love with someone else- a REAL man, get another truly psycho Bahu into shanti sadan and show the viewers the complete and systematic destruction of that household until they all openly admitted that riya was good at heart and that they regretted everything. That would be so much fun to watch. We would have romance and revenge all in one. Amit and Rani had such potential- but they took Amits nasty character to a point of no return- hes so vile that no matter what he does to make amends in the future (if he does) will be vomit inducing. They could have nipped Amits psycho behaviour a little bit more, show some kind of mutual growing romance especially from him to her- it could have been a really romantic Cinderella type story where he eventually puts his mum in her place and stands by his wife. But that's definitely not happening- EVEN if he does turn ""good"" he will still be vomit inducing to me because it will be a big pile of hypocritical dung. Why have they ruined this show??? It had SO much potential. I thought Riya would be like Durga, reborn, fierce, resolute in her decision to teach those a**holes a lesson they wont soon forget- I thought she would return a force of nature. Nope. Nope she is Dobby- she doesnt share a relationship with these people and the whole situation is just toxic. She's a doormat and she's actually fighting for that position 😕🤢

@sana21

He never made a single effort to make Riya happy or show his love towards her. And are they ever gonna consummate their love. DOes that really happen ever in real life, where newly wed couples take months and months to consummate their love. There's no chemistry no sexual tension ever shown between Riya and SHivam. What kinda love story is this. @sana21- Yep I agree, whatever effort he HAS made has been perfunctory and shallow. He has not once stood up for her against shanti or sarla or even his sisters when they have been nasty to her. Actually the one time he did "kind" of stand up to her was against Khushiya quite early on and his mum made such a scene over something so utterly stupid that it apparently scarred him for life. After that he has never spoken up for his wife- even thinking it beneath him to do so. As for consummating their love??! HAHA! Who even knows whether they have or not? I'm guessing they have but because the writers of the show obviously know NOTHING of romance, they have skimmed over the "consummation" details and left it to the viewers to just assume that by now they have consummated. Like I said- and like you say- no romance, no sexual tension, nothing. Just a boring old fuddy duddy couple LOL to be honest Khushiya and Raghav have more romantic scenes than these two!! This isn't a love story- it's a story about abuse; about dishing it out and taking it, in the name of greed and "love" respectively. Honestly, if Riya respected herself she would understand the nature of love. If you respect yourself enough to not desperately cling onto someone who clearly doesn't want you or care for you then you move on in life. Its hard and it'll come close to killing you at first, but you will have loved and respected yourself and your dignity. If you can respect yourself, then and only then can you really love another. And if she claims to love Shivam so much, then she wouldn't be grasping onto him like straws, she would let him free, let him live his life and find someone who fits his worldview. She wouldn't be trying to shove a ball into a square shaped hole. She would let him go and let herself free from the toxic relationship. This is the epitome of desperation; I understand she loves him and needs him to be happy. But if she really honestly understood that love isn't just about needing someone, its about THEM needing you too then she wouldn't be constantly grabbing for his affection. He doesn't want her, need her or even like her and to force yourself on someone who feels that way isn't love- not for them and certainly not for yourself. This serial is in no way a love story.

@dollbeans

Yes, she is giving back to everybody- but as I said, she is doing it in such a haphazard and ineffectual way that by the time any significant change happens nine tenths of the viewers will have moved on. They're dragging it out painfully slow and even then there is no change in her situation. She is still being and allowing herself to be victimised except this time she is wearing this getup and talking back. Every now and then she gets a reaction out of shanti, but nothing to raise your eyebrows at.

I know you said you like her flirting with shivam and I totally accept that that's your opinion, but nothing could revolt me more at this point. He doesn't want her or need her and shes throwing herself at him like she's worth nothing, like shes cattle; like if he doesn't love her back then her life isn't worth living. Women go through a hell of a lot worse from their husbands and many of them find a spark of light within, a strength to move on, build themselves back up, regain their dignity and find a man who understands and values her worth. What she is doing is ugly and desperate and sad.

Nimmi is definitely arrogant and immature, I agree with you there and yeah she made a hugely stupid mistake by going through with the wedding. BUT its done now- there's no undoing it and so now she has to learn to survive amongst sharks and for her to do that, she HAS to be arrogant and very strong willed, she has to be able to talk back and take no BS from anybody- because if she doesn't, she will be destroyed, chewed up and spat out in no time. So I say, yes she made a mistake but keep up the over confidence or it'll be the end of her. Nimmi isn't in love with Vyom, so her motivation to stay in that house has nothing to do with being desperate for a man. It has to do with her right to be in that house because she married into that household. She has always been strong willed and if she wants something, she fights for it. We might not like her methods and attitude with the way she goes about it, but she gets the job done. I know you could say the same for Riya- that she wants her rights back in that family. But if you look closer, even though Nimmi wasn't wanted, all the members of sharmillis family have stopped taunting and torturing her "as much" (except for Pari)... its at least bearable. Riya on the other hand- well, not even Raghav wants a relationship with her. Her husband doesn't just not want her- he looks at her like she is filth. Vyom might not be in love with Nimmi, but he doesn't look at her like she is the scum of the earth. Riya has insisted on coming back into a house where the people there are forcing her to sleep on the floor, where she cant cook or in fact be treated with basic human dignities. She had to make a spectacle infront the priest to get shanti to let her shower upstairs for godsakes! Nimmi doesn't have all this crap to deal with and I'm not quite sure she would put up with it if she did in all honesty. Whereas Riya is just taking and taking and taking like a donkey. You can be as genuine and honest and clear hearted as an angel- but that doesn't mean you respect yourself. Women who let themselves get battered black and blue by their husbands and partners, a lot of the time don't report them to the police because they "love" them. Yes there are many that don't do it out of sheer terror, but there are many that also do it because they have convinced themselves that they really ""love"" this man. This isn't love- allowing someone to treat you like that and make you feel so utterly worthless is not loving someone- its desperation and a deeper tragic feeling of such unworthiness in yourself that you would allow another to treat you how they like, just so you can get a bit of affection from them.

As for Riya going for a new guy and career and as a result of that is Shanti "winning"- well if it means that Riya can live the rest of her life with her head held high and her dignity back intact, if she can look in the mirror with some self respect and truly enjoy knowing what it feels like to have a man love her to the end of the world and back- then yes, Shanti can win a thousand times. Because Shanti's win (losing a bahu like Riya) is truly, in reality, her loss. Even if she doesn't even know it- Shanti will have lost a kind and beautiful hearted bahu who only ever wanted the best for her. No one will ever be good enough for Shanti- don't you see? You cant get more timid and stupid and naive than Khushiya and STILL shanti is not happy- you cant make a human being like her happy, not even if that person killed themselves for her. Shanti doesn't comprehend kindness or love and sacrifice for another- NOT even her own son whom she claims to love so dearly. So yes- if it means that Riya can move on in life and be truly happy and know what true, unconditional love with a man is- then hell yes, let Shanti "win", a thousand times over.

And yes, having a career doesn't mean you don't need love. But having a good for nothing, unloving, uncaring, uninterested husband also doesn't mean that you have to torture yourself for the rest of your life living with him. It doesn't mean you have to shackle your soul to him like a ball and chain and forego happiness. You can leave him. You can be independent. You can smile again, earn a salary, buy your clothes, shoes, pay your own bills. You can be happy and smile and that same smile will attract a man who truly values who you are, what you have been through, how you managed to pick yourself back up, get strong again and hold your head up high. Being independent puts you in a frame of mind to want to attract a mate who will VALUE that- not want to snuff it out at the whims of his family. A truly strong woman will send out the right message to an equally strong man.

Thank you for your points though dollbeans- it actually made me think about it in more depth!

@leavesandwaves

Thank you! Its very kind of you to say so. You know I have wondered that myself- whether this show is worth writing about because it is SO illogical. It doesn't reflect what would happen in real life even a little bit; basic human emotions and the way they are played out, the responses to certain situations are so unrealistic many of us just want to pull our hair out. But the nice thing is, that even though its so unrealistic and incredibly irritating to watch- when you read the majority of commentators' posts in this forum, you can see the vast opinions of people from all over the globe. From different countries and from the way they have been brought up, the ideals and values they have been either brainwashed/educated/learned to emulate from their environment, the culture of the country they have grown up in, their parents, peers and family... You can see in other people's comments an insight into what they agree with and don't agree with in the show. It fascinates me. I don't always check in in the forum, but when I do I enjoy putting my thoughts out there as many others do and its fun to see how other people respond or if they agree or not. Also there are many people who are silent readers and many who have been taught to dogmatically think in a certain way until someone writes something that may make them think outside the box a little bit. And Im certainly not talking just about myself, but every single other person on here who has posted their thoughts too- unless they are being overtly crass and inappropriate. I think a lot of good discussions have been posted in this forum and they have got a lot of people thinking in ways they might not have before and that to me honestly is worth it :)

@sana21

I loved the specific examples you provided in your post of this farcical ""love"" between Shivam and Riya, more accurately from Shivam to Riya. There are so many you cant even keep track of them, even I had forgotten some of them and you reminding me just reiterates how much Shivam and Riya absolutely do not belong together. There is no love lost! Because there wasn't any to begin with, certainly not from Shivam. In fact even from the VERY beginning when they were holding hands in the restaurant and Sarla was spying on them, I remember Shivam telling Riya that she wont fit in his family, that she would probably be miserable and that he couldn't in good conscience do that to her. Even if he cared for her or wanted her- he didn't want her or love her that much that he would choose to marry her. Even then he knew he wouldn't be able to stand up for her and back her corner, he knew in himself that he would always side with his family even if he couldn't quite articulate it to her. He warned her and he told her he was warning her. He knew he wasn't the right man for her. If a man is able to already make up his mind so quickly and easily, if he is ready to dismiss marriage and in fact tell the girl that he doesn't want to marry her then I'm sorry but its plain as day- he doesn't love her. He CARES for her, he might admire her and respect her. But he isn't in love with this person. He cant be. If he was truly in love with her, he would marry her and WANT to marry her, he would grow a pair of balls and a backbone and officially grow up and take on the title of husband. Not grannys boy, not daddys boy or mummys boy. He would be a man and say yes, I love you, I want you and I need you and if I cant have you there will always be a part of me missing- and so I want to marry you. I need to marry you and take care of you. I need you by my side and I want to protect you. I want to love you and for once in my life make my own decisions and be my own man. My dad's dad made his own decisions, my dad makes his own decisions and if Im going to marry you I'm going to be a grown ass man and make MY own decisions. We are going to be a partnership, a team. And yes I love my family, but Im starting this new, sacred, life long relationship with you, YOU are going to be the mother to my children, my family wont always be there but you will always be by my side, we will grow old together, we will raise a family together. YOU are my priority. When I take those wedding vows and promise to love, protect and provide for you it means that even if my family ill treats you or hurts you, I will find a way to take care of you. I wont abandon you. I wont jump to conclusions and blame you without sitting down with you like a GROWN ass man and having an adult conversation with you. I wont hurl insults and angry glances at you before knowing the full story. I will listen to you, I will make what you say and DON'T say to me important to me. I will love you. My mum and my dad and my sisters are not "more" than you. You hold a sacred place in my heart, a place where I will create life with you one day, a place where I share my pain and my joys with you in a way I could never share with anyone else. If he LOVED her, he would have found a way to marry her and he would have stuck to that resolution, to that decision like super duper glue. He wouldn't have faltered or deviated or wandered or hesitated afterwards if he had made the right decision or not (like he has SO many times). But what happened? When all was revealed at the wedding fiasco and Riya declared her love for him infront of everyone- EVEN THEN he waited for Daddi's permission before marrying her. Even then he couldn't man up and make a decision on his own. Why? Because it wasn't love- which is the very impetus to make such a drastic and life changing decision. And I ask you, is there any stronger impetus than real, heart crushing, soul encompassing love? No- if there is ANYTHING in this world that will give you liquid courage- it's LOVE. He didn't even have time to fall properly in love with the girl if you remember how rushed everything had been. He fancied her, cared for her because she was cute and sweet and told him she loved him. But when the hell did HE fall head over heels in love with her? Anyway, it seemed he had been forced into marrying her. Yes he asked his father to marry her but he only REALLY did it because he didn't want her name defamed, he didn't want her to be a laughing stock in society, he even said to his dad that no one would want her if he didn't marry her. So to me- there wasn't a mutual love to begin with. The whole situation was kind of shoved down his throat, so was it any wonder that its been so simple for him to snap and bark at her time and time again in favour of his family? Not really- because his family means much MUCH more to him than his wife. He didn't even want to get married at all, knowing full well that his family would torture the poor soul he happened to bring into Shanti sadan- he knew all along that he would never have the will, guts or knowhow to put his family in their place and stand up for his wife. He cant stand up for himself- so what wife???

I agree with every word you wrote. Until Shivam can value himself and realise hes a man and not his daddys and mummys ickle wickle little boy anymore, he should not be romancing any girl. Learn to crawl before you start running mate, because until you do you'll just keep tripping and falling flat on your face and dragging down whomever is unlucky enough to be near you. As I said in my previous post- Riya is no better. The woman has zero self respect, I was catching up on the last two episodes and I was practically cringing throughout- its utterly embarrassing watching her practically wrenching her limbs out of shape as she tries to force herself into whatever crack she can in that house. I mean just look at the sad state of her. Shes a shadow of her previous self, walking around in that ridiculous getup, settling for being ""allowed in the kitchen"", crying tears of joy because Shivam said he cant love anyone else. Hello?? He might not be able to love anyone else sweetheart, but he sure as hell doesn't love you either. Hes a confused little boy who doesn't know whether he should love his mummy more or you more. A man would figure out how to do both without screwing your life up. He THINKS he loves you, MAYBE he thinks he loves you- hes the one who's confused so how the hell should we know? But he doesn't understand what love is, not at all. He wants her to obey his family, he wanted her to be his wife but not interfere in family matters- what the hell does that even mean?! What the hell does that make her then? An outsider? A stranger? She's only the future mother of your children mate, but no she has no right to have a say. C'mon... get with the times. And yet here Riya is begging for her scraps- my eyes couldn't roll any further back into my head, if they did they'd fall out my ears or something.

Hey sana21, thank you for your comment! 😊That was really
lovely of you to say so lol its great to have good banter with people, both
like and not-like minded. It really gets you thinking you know? Your posts have
been awesome and reflected almost to a T how I feel about the characters and
you've put it in a way that I wouldn't have, so its been really fun to read :)

I don't think Ive seen Shivam's character in any other way
tbh, right from the beginning he has been this sort of clueless guy who is just
meandering along in life. I mean a gorgeous, sweet girl was intercepting him at
every turn and he was still too thick to figure it out. (Again sorry to any
Shivam fans, Im talking about the character, not the actor.) He was a pretty
face for a while, but when I figured the guy was lacking in brains or courage OR
the ability to keep himself composed in heated situations that quickly changed for
me. This is not an adult male specimen, Id be so ashamed to be married to
someone like that. You're right- as we've said before, totally lacking in
chemistry or sexual tension. You could have more chemistry with a bar of soap
in the shower- seriously. There have been so many scenes where he has been
shouting and grumbling and glaring at her, only for her to try and placate him,
begging him to forgive her like she is a dog worth a little biscuit treat... And
then finally he comes round and even when he patches things up with her he is
STILL blaming her. "Riya I know your intentions are good, but why do you keep
interfering? Stay out of it, your opinions are not wanted" Make googly eyes,
tells her he loves her like he is talking to a wet dish cloth and ""romantic""
scene is over- until he shouts at her again. Oh yes, Im feeling the romance,
how heart warming. Ugh. Your words- PERFECT- And
trust me oh my god, I have never seen such insipid bland declarations of love
ever.

Here you said The only thing SHow's writers have
convinced me about Shivam's character is that he deeply loves and cares about his
family, to the extent where he is literally blinded with his devotion for them.
I mentioned in a reply in another post somewhere that I'm not even sure if
you could call it "love" for his family. How many times has he watched in
impotence as shanti taunted, humiliated, made fun off, used, abused and shouted
and screamed at his mother AND sisters?? If a son loved his mother that much,
he wouldn't put up with that. He would get her and his sisters out of that
toxic crap and take care of them himself- to hell with what his dad or society
thought. I think he is the way he is because he is a coward. He cant make any
adult, autonomous decisions. Not even to protect his mum. How is that love? He
is too scared to make any decisions for himself, he cant think for himself, or
think laterally. He just does what mummy and daddy and Daddi tells him to, no
questions asked. If ANYONE ELSE dares to ask questions (like his wife or even
sisters- he has told nimmi off so many times for speaking up) then he snaps and
snarls at them like it's his self respect on the line. He has NO self respect,
and so he cant possibly love anyone else without even such a basic thing. To me
he is a coward.

I think "maybe" on one or two occasions he has asked his
sisters to be nice to Riya- and yet even when they were laughing at her behind
her back and he was witnessing it, his attempt to put them straight was so lacklustre.
He made no real effort to set them straight, even keeping Riya out of their "loop"...
yuk yuk yuk... there is literally no love here. His duty and responsibility is to
provide for her and protect her- the REST, like supporting her, backing her
corner, standing by her side, speaking up for and with her, etc etc etc- that
should come from love. But the cheesehead doesn't love her- so what support??